Note: Spewlling right brings great dishonor to ninja clan! Ippon!!
city ninja
this is my review on city ninja from... h-ll if i know
i never saw this b4 but its on chch at 2 am cuz they air public domain movies on then
theres no info on wikipeodea for this but it seems 70s or 80s and from soviet asia
so in hong kong in 1940 this guy fights ninja and even though they have katana, he holds em off unarmed
he gives it to lo bao whto protect it until after the war (assuming they dont lose) and lo escapes and later fights em off with a staff and they vanaish
i was not aware imperial japan sent ninja in the war
then the title and an anime style opening of martial arts fights against ninja
a duckduckgo search shows its on youtube and is from 1985
then its hong kong 1985 and this guy named wang lee (the x star cousin of robert e lee) is at a club and having fun
so lo runs clubs now and wants wang to be his new club leader
then some guys come by wanting to see lo adtheres a fight
turns out its lo's homies and they go in
btw i think this lo is a different lo as he's david lo
he's in underhanded dealings to make the clubs work and taking chicks out like the qween in soviet england did to chuckies other chix
then there's a fight in a gym between not bolo uyeung and a normal guy who gets his a55 kicked but makes a comeback and wins by spitting blood in the guys face
this guy named park (like lincon park?) se boxing is cr-p and offeres hum high pay work to get this necklace back
then he trains and we get a sweaty work out montage
wait, its wang who this happened to
and his woman is lisa like in robotech and the room
also his brother is named soy as i guess he has no parts
soy wants to be wangs cheerleeder and fly around aisa to help him in fights
wow we're like 20 mins in
that went fast and so much happened
then a shower scene of this chick soapin up
then lisa trys to seduce lo but hes too tired to b0ne her
later wang is in the shower and we see hi a55 and lisa comes in and he slips on a towel to hide his footlong
they make out and he does some kinda heiimlich hold on her tummy and they stop after he feels her thigh
was that a love scene?
i dont know about korean moviee standards as in bollywood they can''t have violence or nude scenes so they just break into gay songs and daemon dances when thingds are about to get good
imagine a go nagai live action bollywood thing
so at this club, park gets beat down and iced and lo b--ches to his homie about park getting fd and he needs the necklace that was split between 2 gangs
so they decide to get the wang on it
later parks sister linda hires jimmy (like bimmy and jimmy from double dragon?) to avenge park and they are in love
so jimmy meets parks boss to work for him to avenge park by beating up a gang that has part of the necklace
like the gold thing in aladdin? split in 2 halfs?
so jimmy beats the guys up and its pretty bada55
after wackking the shaved head gang, we see a mud wrestling thing and an eyepatch guy watching it gets his a55 kicked
later ang is going to south east asia for a kumite and linda offers him cash but he dont need it
then some gaijin abduct loto get the necklace back as his dad had it
after beating his a55 wang comes in and kicks their a55es
they say lo has a 1 month to get it back or he's j fk'd
so lo tells wang the necklace has a code number from a swiss bank account and he needs wang to waste the guys for the necklace
oh and the ninja got it back from his dad
wang dont consent to being a hitman and goes to be in a boxing match
but 1st he makes out with lisa and wants to b0ne but she sez they aint married and dont consent
so later wang and soy are training and lisa comes by and wang b0nes heer for a while
we dont see her nips or buttcrack or crotches
later, jimmy and linda chat and boss suspects jimmy wwho wants to marry linda but he needs cash 1st
then he fights some guys who poop out of nowhere
after kicking them into da water, they go to a club and slow dance
then jimmy and linda b0ne, i think
yeah they b0nin
i think its in a darkroom as its only got red light
so jimmy then takes out a sniper and fights him on the roof
20 years too late for j fk and 120 years too late for lincon
wtf does jimmyys white pants have a hole in the a55?
so like that boss in the tick on sega, immy kicks him off the roof
then jimmy meets with lo and asks for 200 000 $ for the item and lo se he owns linda and sez no
jimmy leaves and lo sends goons after him
they are taking him into a car but he fights his way out
do the spinning bird kick!
wtf i look away for 40 seconds and he's in a car and kets punches out as it gos off a cliff
later wang and lisa are onn a boat and shes pregnant wiith his illegitimate kid
some guys come on her boat and were following them for a while and hwang fight them
they gte heldd up at spear point so they jumpo in the water and soyboy saves em in a speedo beat
i mean boat
theyres a chase and the baddz give up
later lisa sez she dont lve mr lo and drives off
they were b0ning too??
what a 5kank!!
later wang wants to go to possibly soviet thailand and wants this chick jenny (like the bat chick from bloody roar?) to come with him
then lisa comes by, tells wang she duumped lo andwants to go to Confederate america with him
wang dont want her so she pulls gu on him and he struggles with heruntil it goes off and wastes her
thensome suits come in saying thy saw him ice her and they can help him if he gets them the ncklace i soviet korea
wtf is going on?!
this all came the h-ll outta nowhere
who's jenny? why was lisa b0ning lo? why don't wantgg want her anymore?
so the wang goes to th korea and 1 guy, maybe lo? i'm not sure, has a chick tell him his plan is working s he got wang in korea
so wang meets jimmy and sez lo is behind their being there and wants to team up to fight the lo instead of him wasting jimmy for da necklace
the jimmy dont consent and then we see hirtless guys kung fu fighting
then theres this ninja dojo with a guy in a white suit who the ninja serve as a humsan couh and meets a japanese seeming guy to tam up against the heros
then a shower scene with soviet linda andshe gets cauught by guys
i mean a bubblebath scene
they interrogate her over the necklace and instead of icing her, spin her on a table andjimmy comes over tosave her i think
he beats on ninja in da dojo and fights a katana guywith a top knot (like a man bun but for real men)
then fights ninja in da woods and chasses a guy but its filmed real bad so it looks dark and grainy
then they fight on a bridge and clib the wires like that level in nightmare circus on sega with the spinning thing
then back to da woodz as i think theirs land mines as the ground keeps popping
da ninja use sneak atttacks unlike the cheesy naruto ninja but he powers through it like hes saint seiya and wastes em all
meanwhile, linda is tied up and being undressed like that curvy chick in shutendoji and a guy seems to be almost b0ning her
meanwhile, the jimmy is fighting the katana guy i think and a mini boss comes in to make it harder
eventually jimmy gets a sword and eventually takes em out
so he gets to da rooom where linda was and shes not there
then we get a shower senee and we t-ts
this chhick goes to see a guy who sez they are manipulating the italianos and lo and the wang
is thhat the lisa?
is this where tommy wiseau got the room from?
then this gguy and chick b0ne
then i think the lo gets capped
then wang is in a suit and thanks these guys for doing well and sez linda is in the warehouse and thells em to get the necklace
then jjimmy fights more guys in i think a warehouse and gets the linda but gets beat down in slo mo
wang calls lo and sez he got it bit lo caps 1 of his guys for some reason
so wang jenny ands soymo come bback and the cops arrest him in the wacking of lo and lisa
the end
wtf did i jjust watch?
its like the room but makes less sense and logic
most of it is just fight scenes and those are cool
it just sems to end after an hour and a half andkinda abrupt
long bad love scenes andbad filming make it hard to tell who's what
i keot track by reasding the closed captions and the cheesy dubbing was hard to follow at times
i assume lisa was working with that guy and faked getting iced but i';m not 100% on this
but overall, i kinda enjoyed it
its a good action film amd has good moves and fights and chpreography and such
yeah the plot is bad but i assume thats partly on the translation
its entertaining and gos by fast and has good flow
glad i saw this
its pretty good
like the korean room
and i dont mean miami connection, which is also good, but has better music and story than this
for ninja city 2 i want him to be on trial and he makes a case that he deserves to be freed as he's a good fighter and his skill make him worth more than the scumocide in jail. so to prove this, he's put into a kung fu tournament with others making that plea to see who is the best. also its a 16 bit tournament fighter like power instinct on sega genesis, gba, snes, tg16 and atari jaguar where you play as 1 of 8 fighters each with a weird trait like a muscle chick, a fat chick, a sm guy, a cllown fetish guy, someone with big meaty feet and a furry and they battle in best outta 1 3 or 5 rounds to get to the judge as the final boss who's super kng fu powered and dresses like benito mussolini but with SM themes.
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