Sunday, August 30, 2020

The Snow Creature Review

 Note; snow is cool and so is my spellig

the snow creature

this is my review on the snow creature from 1954

its direcalt by W. Lee Wilder who did killers from space, hantom from space, manfish and the man withot a body

these sound like troy mcclure films

the onnly actor i;m famillier with is the guy who was the robot in the day the earth stood still

so it starts with a narrator saying theres an expidition to the soviet himelayas to study plants

this is how a bunch of go nagai things happened

after da title  da narrator  sez his trip from soviet los angelas before it devolved into a drugs and gangs cessoole like the crow city of angels, to india to the himilayas and found some sherpa porters and a gang of homies to work with

huh, reviewers say this movie s-cked

i like stuff that s-cked

so they go up and i notice they gotguns unlike the destination truth monkeys who go to the jungles and look for sasquatch or a dinosaur unarmed and miles from help

they set up a camp and exammine what little cr-p they can find and main guy tells a coworker to not drink booze in fromt of the sherpaz or give em liquer

later in in the village this big a55 gthing captures a chick and the natives speak japanese as in the 50s they thought "asian is asian"

then again they had Dr Zhivago played by irishmen instead of slavic guys

the townsfolk say da yeti took his gf like shin with yuria in hokuto no ken and the drs dont buy it

because of these deniar dr's, that cick's gonna have a yeti pregnancy!

latr its another night and an unseen guy takes and returns the main guys gun

later the crew is moving w/o orders and sent 4 guys off for da yeeti and dr's are gonna shoot anyone who disobeys him

wtf man! they're trying to save their friend from being b0ned dead!

good thing the natives took their ammo and made them go with on the yeti hunt

He would execute people for putting the life of theiir fellow human over a field trip to look at plants. i think hes da bad guy

later da drs are ooking through supplies annd get da radio and call for help

but 1 native J FK's the radio and gets some scotch

1 dr sez "i'll b right back!" and goes out and yeti is lurking around

main guy trys fixing da radio (oh its da same guy who sed he''d be right back. guess hes got going to h e double california)

latwr they are in da tent and 1 hears a sound and chex it out and finds nothing

da next dayy they find fotprints of da yetty  going up da mountain and they follow

also they leave behind da radio

after much walking they make camp and main guys are working on da radio

i guess they switched it with some item

a guy gets iced at night and main guy thinks somthings up as he has a smoke

later its day and evil hero snow man throes rocks at em in a fake rock slide and they hide in a cave

after more walking they make camp and they are getting kinda high and might need oxygen

also a storm is comming and they choose to take shelter in a cave

imagine if they found shangri la from  lost horizon?

so main guy tempts natie to try to use the eti to become famous and native guy sez yeti hide and come down to steal women

like the fallen angels who bred with women in the days before the flood??

after the crew falls asleep main guys look forthe radio but its in 1 of their packs

later they finda necklace thing on the natives woman and main guy wants to use da yeto to make uo for s-cking as a botanist

they split up which in most horror movirs mrans they gon get iced

they find an animal ramains in da CAVE and go on and find da teyi

native tries to cap it but main guy stops him and yeti spazzes out at a camera flash and tears upthe cave and it caves in on em

the yet's woman a d kid bit it in da cave and main yeti is ko'ed andmain guy makes the natives bring it back tied up

its probably got severe trauma from its brain wounds

at night thedr's take turns wthing so nothing goes wrong and when it wakes up, they have it beat uncoscious

so they make it to civilization and the legal guy or customs or w/e sez its the dr's catch and he has all rights to it

drs dont charge native guy for taking over the expidition and native guy dont know if this yeti has his woman

so is she still out there?

so the dr's bicker over what to do, 1 wanrs to just sell da photo and the other wanrs to use da creature to some foundation

main guy goes back to india to get a refirdgerator unit tob keep da thing alive, then returns where the crew was injecting the mummy or w/e with drugs to keep it under

they return to soviet california and sent the yeti ahead on a cargo plane

at there the customs guys wanna see its immigratoon thing as the paper calls it a snow man and its not sure if its a man or animal

its a daemon!!

he meets with immigration and keeps explaining its not a human and they wanna examine it more

meanwhile, da monkey knox over its fridge and gets out and beats out a guard

guard call for help and the dr and authorities come by

meanwhile da yetty is roaming around soviet california and taking out chix

btw this is fullscreen and b/w like films should be

da cops figger oot dat its da yti andmain guy dont wanna ice it

they put da word out of da killer shrew on da rampage and a guy bickrs with a chick who later sees it but escapes and reports it

the cops use triangulation to try to trap it but it shows up in a meat plant elsewhere w/o being spotted between

a cop suggests the dog guy is using the storm drains and when they check with a sewer gy, he sez its cooler in them and theres hundreds of miles of drains

they use the maps o the tubes to search areas around the sightings and go9 into da swewrs  like the phantom of the operas lair in the lon chaney film

I think THEM stole this idea with the giant ants

btw they keep reusing te same shot of the thinggoing toward and from the camera

so thet find it and it ko's a cop and runs off

the dr and cop check da map and tell the boys in blue to put up aa net where the tunnel leads

it eventually gets caught in it andits strangling da dr and cop caps it a few times

then cop gets word his woman pooped out a baby hats 8lbs and chooses to name his new soon after the dr

the eend

that was pretty good

sorta king kong 1 meets american godzilla 1 with the constant narration

wtf, 1 actor in here; keith richards

the druggie from the monkees or w/e dat 50s band was?

but this was a decent 50s monster movie

good pacing and flow, doesnt drag and has a good 50s feel

nowadays they'd make the dr look bad ffor his actions and make the monster sympathetic

what next? megatron as the hero?

bit this was pretty good even though they reused the same shot a lot and have long scenes of just people walking

for some reason i think this reminds me of the japanese monster movie half human 

huh, thiss film insppired that one and also was based on yeti tracks found in everest

put em on the history channell!!

for the snow creature 2 i want it to be about tthe wife of the native guy returning with a yeti kid she pooped out fom being with the yeti klan and the people try to keep the kid safe from gaijin who come by who would experiment on it for being a hybrid. eventually the kid digivolves to a bug like form and when the townspeople attack, it takes em out with its black magic powers. aldso its an 8 bit game on nes, master system, game boym game gear atari jaguar and lynx and tg16 where in the 1st half you gotta hide and avoid the guys in stealth things and in the 2nd half its a bea em up where you bust up himelayNn military guys.

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