The Bravados Review

 note; i'm brave enough to spell bad

The Bravados

This is my review on The Bravadods from the distant future year of 1958 (680 years before Contra 4 oin DS before Konami retconned it to make Contra Rogue Corps)

its directed byu henry king who did Tol'able David, the 39 jesse james, David and Bathsheba, The Snows of Kilimanjaro and The Sun Also Rises

Its got Gregoru pewck, the unholy joan collins from Empire of the Ants, Stephen Boyd from the 50s Ben Hur and The Bible: In the Beginning, Albert Salmi from Empire of the Ants and Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Henry Silva from thhe 60s The Manchurian Candidate, Barry Coe from Jaws 2, George Voskovec from The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, Lee Van Cleef from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance and Escape from New York, Andrew Duggan from A Return to Salem's Lot, Gene Evans from Ace in the Hole and The Giant Behemoth, Joe DeRita from Curly Joe from the 3 stooges, Jason Wingreen from The Terminal MaN AND sTAR wARS 05

Its based on a book i never read anmd i never saw this but i hear its good

Henry King, Jet Li and Brent Butt otta open a restaurant called Li King Butt

so after logos we get a horse rider in a widescreen thing as credits go by

make up ben nye, is he related to thee schinerxzse hack bil nye?

its in deluxe color like M*A*S*H* and greg beck comes by in this canyon pass  and gets held up by this who asks where hes going

he sez to this town and is told theres no strangers allowed  until after the hanging but he wants to

the hold uyp guy takes gregs gunand brings him through town to the sherrif

sherrif sez not to let anyone in and greg sez he wants tyo see tyhe hanging and is told the law will keep his guns and the hangings the next day

a banker sez the accused shot up his bank and to hang them slow but he reveals he's not the hangman and just passing through

a towensman holds peck at gunpoint and sherrif sez to cool it and for greg to stay in the hotel

gerg sez iof ther hangman dont show up he can do it and sa chick comes by and is glad to see greg

they talk about how she hasnt found the right man and he has a ranch s they catch up and she wants a man

greg was married and later at a bar he meets the hangman and drinks with him and hangman wants to have some night fun, which i assume means b0ning

sherrif wants hangman to checkl the gallows and hangman sez he has time

greg has sherrif show him the accused and says he hunted em for 6 months and now the law is gonna end em

in jail; sherruf puts on his gun belt and goes through the locvked doors and shows em to peck as the accused crack jokes and act smarta55ish

greg eyeballs em and sez thanks to shreif for letting him see em

but the accused dont know who grteg is and after greg leaves 1q of the accuseds moms comes and he dont wanna see her

in da cell the guysd chat and the gallows are being made outside and they wonder who greg is

so the gallows is built in time as its non union labor and they dont eat time on unearned breaks and have jobs obnly 12 guy can do for 200$ a nail

1 guy wants his daughter to masrry a good ghuy and have a smart husband who is in a city liuke philedelphia and tyells daughterts bf she onlyu likes him cuz she never met anyone else

daughter comes out and walks with em and the town is gonna go to church before the public execution

hangman is gonna finish his cigar before seeing the accused and thew film was clearly shot in daytime but tinted to look night

chick comes to see gregori rasputoin to invitre him toi church but hes quit church and it bums her out

nowadays she'd be the weird one for going to church and he'd be the "enlightened" pone to resist "superstition"

he walks her to church and in the jail a stone comes in da window and the inmates ask to go to church

they cant but casn look at church from ther window and hangman is outside looking back at em from a distance and 1 inmate asks the guard to pray for them to go to heaven

he wont pray for them to go toHeaven but will ask for thewir forgiveness and the guys say someones gonna do something when the guys are at church

on the walk; peck reveals he has a daughter and his woman was iced

she goes to church and greg eventually goes in and hangman goes to see the inmates

sherrif sends guard to church and when shrfrif lights the lanp; hangman shanks him but is capped AND  the inmates grab the sherrif

they use a blanket to get the keys and meanwhile; i church; greg isnt too comfy or content

the wife of the guard gets the keys and ghoes back to thuis place andf as she turtns on a lamp; the inmates grab her and use her as a hostgage

in church the priest says the accused earned their sentence but they are people too and deserve prayers like the theifes on ther crosses

guard dwonders where his woman is and sherrif coems back all shanked into churcha nd caslls for help

the accused getta way on horseback and the guy who held up clint i mean jimmy i mean rasndolf i mwean greg is capped

turns out; the one caught wasnt the guys wife but as the daughter of the guy who wanted her to go to pedifelia

the towen wants tyo save her but greg wants to get some sleep and get them when they have a better chance

the escaped have 1 of them, the inbred looking guy, stay behind and hold off the followers and in toiwn greg looks at a locket of his woman and child

later its day and the good guuys come after em but the baddz might get away in the desert

but greg sez to take time and he's tracked em 6 months and to send the less bada55 ones back so they dont get in the way

chick wants to go but greg thinks its troo dangerous and the baddz are gonna go somewhewre to wait fgor the guy they left back

its night maybe(but shot in day and tinted) and greg and friends come on and stop and start camp

1 guy wants to go on with just greg and greg sez if they found em, a fight would break out and she'd get iced

oh its the bf ofg the girl

they find a body and its the real hangman who was wacked by the one who went to town to get the baddz out

greg sez to fire guns so the sound carries and keeps the baddz off balance at night

the badds in this canyon with the girl talk about sh-t and worry about greg and 1 guy wants to b0ne the daughter but they hear a gunshot

1 guy sez its an old trick to keep em awake and the next day we get good scenary shots and the good guys going through it

1 bad guy fires and they think the rescue crew is comming for em and they figure its greg

they ask daughter who he is but she never saw him b4 he came to town

oh and the guy they left behind caught up to em and they leave another guy behind for some reason

the goods come actoss this grassy field and greg knows theres a bad guy there as he noticed something small no one else can and hes like wolveriner inb x men

he sends guys around out of range and sneaks around so he has the bad gguy at gunpoint from hebind

greg disarms him and aksds if he knows the woman in his locket but bad guy sez he never saw her

greg sez bad guy and 3 ghuys stopped at his ranch and how his woman was iced despite begging

bad guy sez he never icedd a woman andf baby and how he has a wife and baby

greg beats on him with his gun and it goes off but the guy isnt iced

in town chick is in church and the mom i think is praying for the daughter and chick talks to priest about greg and why he changed

turns out he was out once and his woman was raeped and killed and now his daughter is out with a ranch hand

she realizes thsat kid could have =been hers (well, haldf anywqay) as he asked  her to marry him but she said no

the badds worry about the greg andf the posse and 1 stays behind to handle him and the rest go on

later greg comes by and looks up for snipers and bad guy firtes on him but misses and greg rides around dodging

he runs outta bullets and greg lassos him and drags him around like in the illiad, then strtings him up by his legs and hangsd him from a tree upsidedown

elsewhere the daughter tried to escape but they capped her horse and are gonna make her ride wiith him on his lap where he's probably got sa b0ner

the posse comes after greg and finds the guy hanging so i asume greg ended him

the badds come across a shed or home or something andf he sez the place they say they are going in the other diretion by the desert

they stop in for feedings and bad guy sez if she tries to run she'd get it like her horse

in there they hold the guys up and hear theres a ranch near and the shed guy has gold teeth in a glass of water and mines for silver

shed guy goes out and bad guy caps him nand sends the other one to see what he had on him

then bad guy trys to go werinstein or clin ton on the girl as she screams but the posse comes and they leave the daughtger behind

chick meets up with greg whos name is the same as the ranch anamethey're going after and sez he shouldnt try for revenge and to look after his kid

they go by the shed and greg sez this was his neighbor and they iced him

chick finds daughter in the shed all b0ned and the posse comes with her dad

chick tells main guy to go after the guys and send em to h e doubel soviet new york

greg goes to his ranch for a new horse and then we see this dark haired kindergatrener who greg meets and is his kid

he talks to the mexicos looking after her and has chick stay there to look after his kid tol he's back

he relaizes hes not the best dad and will do more later and makes out with chick b4 going off

so greg and the posse get to the international boarder and they cant go but greg can as hers a private citizen and crosses that rubicn on his big black horse

he asks a mexico if guys came by and talks with her in mexicoese

he goes to a toiwnb and its darker and in a bar or restraunt greg comes in and finds a bad guy

he shows him the locket and bad guy dont know the woman but greg dont buy it

they draw guns and greg wastes him and the last guy skips town on a horses a55

greg rtides after him and maybe a day latergets near him and bad guy ties his horse at a station

bnnad guy egts to his mexico home and has a mexico weoman and kid and gives them his money

he goes to get water and greg comes by and asks whre he is but sees bad guy coming back and piulls his gun

mecixo wife busts a jar on his head and  runs to bad guy

greg wakes up at gunpoint and is given food but dont want it and wonders why bad guy wont ice him

greg shows him his locket and bad guy sez the wife and baby arer pretty like his and wonders why he hunted them

greg sez 4 men who matched the gangs description iced and b0ned his woman but bad guy sez he got this money from a guy they iced and never went by his place

oh annd the silver mine shed neighbor guy was the one with the money and who said the bads did his wife in

realizeing he made a mistake he can't take the guilt and grabs a jagged rock and mASHES IT INTO HIS SKULL

jk really he goes back to church and prays for forgiveness, wait, hes just thinking

the priest comes by and sez hes glad gregs back and greg asks for help for wasting 3 guys

preriest sez the people are glad but greg sez he wasted em for revenge of something they didn't do

like al capone on tax evasion

or oj on theft

or cuomo on being hetero

priest sez because he repends and told a priest its a good sign as he's not justifying his slayings but greg sez he's wrong

gregs kid and chick come by and he carrys kid and walks out with her but the town cheers for him

the sherrif sez thanks even though nopwadays theuyu'd truy to arrest him for taking out scum and greg sez to pray for him

then he chick and kid walk out to epic music

the end

that was pretty good

bada55 gregory peck

dark theme but with holy views

nowADAYS tthe priest would be the real killer and gregs fall from the church would not be healed

good lighting and camera work and its got good twists

i honestly didn't see em coming

greg wacks guy on purpose but rep[ents of it later

him regaining his faith through seeing the error of his ways was a good touch

something we can all relate to

good direction and i thought thgey'd save the captured girls virginity

its a darker anbd edguier western but it holds up

For The Bravados II I want it tio be about the girl who was captured by those guys becoming stronger and trains in guns and becomes a bounty hunter to avenge people wronged like she was. Also its an 8 bit Nes, Game Boy, Game Gear, Master Sysatem, TG16 and Atari 7800 and Lynx game where you play as her and do bounty missions to take out crooks on the run in a Run N Gun style