The Beast Of Hollow Mountain Review

notew; i spell almosat as accurate as this film

The Beast Of Hollow Mountain

This is my review on The Beast Of Hollow Mountain from the distant fiuture year of 1956 (50 years b4 Transformers season 03 in Amerioca)

its directal by Edward Nassour who did the Sheena, Queen of the Jungle tv show

It stars Guy Madison from Bullwhip, Patricia Medina from Mr. Arkadin, Carlos Rivas from The Black Scorpion and They Saved Hitler's Brain, Mario Navarro from the black scorpion and the american Magfinicent 7, and a byncha mexicans from like the 1800s i never heard of

i never saw this or the mst3k thing, but its only like 80 mins, so its gonna add 430 mins of adds on comet

SO IT STARTS IN A WIDESCREEN CREDIYTTS BUT A RECTANGLE AROUND IT OF BLAck bars as theyt wanted it to be cr-=ppy a55 widescreen instead of getting the whjople image

WEN GET CREDUITS TO 50s danger music and itrrs in color

then these cowbows go through this dry forest and wasteland as a nartrator sez are near ahollow mountainb and dangerous swamp with a strange animal from the dawn of creation around

eventually they find cow trax in all directions and split up as theyt dont know its a horror movie

eventually 1 guy steps in quicksand or a swampo or w/e and uses a rope on a rock, but the rope comes off and a guy saves him withhis roppe

they find a cow in the mush up[ to its beck i mean neck, but they think its the areas curse or russlers whho left it there to make em not look

then theres this town and people  just doing sh-t like a drunk guy talkking to a kid and going home

then kids throw firecrackers as the drink is on his horse and it goes nuts and he falls on his a55

nowadays these kids would use lasers on pplanes coming in

they otta be b0ned dead

so main guy helped him somehow, i think stopping ther horses, and itsa mexico chick is gay for him and hes gonna sdee her dad

so after a walk, he gets to him and they getta long  and tye tells dad about only finding 1 cow and the rest might be jecked

this probably baD mexican comes by as they talk about the ddrought shrinking the swamp and he tells the masin guy to "go back where you came from" as he's Ameerican

if it wwas reversed, they'd call it "racisdt" but its ok to hate Americans in the media

dad sticks up fir main guy and later main guy wakles up and no ones around

oh no, its the Rapture! And he duidnt repent!

1 guy is there and finds the workers quit as they fear the area

drinbk guy is milking a cow and hjs grandkid or w/e is there =, wait, thats his dad? but he's like 600 years over him!

drunk sez he'd  never have another drink, like george w bush getting off booze for decades

later this chick rides in saying the maid guy stole workers, i think the druiink and kid, but drunk sez he asked for the job anbd he needs them as no one else works for humn

cghucjk sez drunk can stayt bvut kid has tio go but kid sez he has to stay to keep drunk on the wagon

chick goos oof and sez sorry for her accusations agaiunst main guy and tthey talk with romantic string music

but whhen she gets back doiwn the hill, her horsew is goine and he gives her a riude back to town

bad guy seez main guy with chick and goes up anbd fights him but gets beat out

he tries to pull a gun but main guy draws 1st and then thery fight more

punch him in the ding d0ng

bad guy gets a stick but is beat on and they slug each other more like kenshiro vvs raoh in hokuto no ken

btw, a human bad guy and monstrer attacking isd like robotech II the sentnels with Edwarsd and the Invid

after winning the fuight, main guy gets a lertter about his cattle thiung beuing accepted and they will pay what he asks

looking upo wikipedea, i findf drunk told chicvk the workers were bribed toi leave by a mysterious guy

so later main guy is told off for fighting in a peraceful town and its rvewaled bad guy wants to buy main guys ranch b4 the cattle ships and bad guy has a lot of mexico power

bad guy talks with chick about hoiw jealoius he was of seeing her with an American as he's racist i guess

so lateerthe drunk and guysa look forcattle and main guy tells him not to go in as he might get lost

later chickk sees main guy and sez she hopes they can stay friends

bad guy dont like it and later tellls main guy he got workers that are paid better or sometyhing

just looked up weikipera and it sez the guys bad guy talked about are bad guys agents jhe sent in to sabotage msain guys thing under the cover of working for main guy

later main guy gets a letter i cant read as its in handwriting anbd only on screen for a sec and he gets kid off this horse

drunk tells kid to call main guy if hes not back by the time the shadow on this thing goes somewhere and kid dont want him to go look for the lost cows

so main guy goes to a graveyaRD and meets chick who sent him the note to meet him there

he thoughtg it might be a trick and she asks him to sell the ranch to bad guy and i think shes gonna marrty him so bad guy dont kill main guy and main guy goes off on his horses a55

in the jungle or w/e, drink fights something and shoots at it but the cr-ppy a55 antenna tv keeps queering out

kid tells them of drunbk going to the swamp and mainguy goes to see him and cant find him

oh and according to wiekdpoa the main guy was gonna sell the ranch to another mexican

oh and the film is fullscreen now as they fixed the black bars

so other mexican sez drunk isnt comming back, until he finds tyhe lost cattle, like its the sdaban dub

ur brother may have gotten away, but you wont!

so later main guy worried about kid looking for drunk and tells dad that hes going soon and dad will miss him

main guy comforts kidf who's mad he's not allowed to look for his dad, which is like saying "you wont let me jump into the volvcanio to save him"

the signal f'd out as its gonna rain soon and the antella is sh-t

when the feed gets baclk ,aiom guy is going and theres a festival but i read on wikiepea that other mexico is gonna ice bad guy

bad guy is gonna start a stampede as the cattle go by shooting around whem and he wants to have the shipment dont with his cattle

oh and theres a wedding in a 2 hours soon

so the mexicoes celebrate with fireworks and dancing and if this were today, they;d be dressed like dbz chicks and the girtls would show off their thicc heavy butts

so the feed f';d out and wikipdeoa dsez chick is having 2nd thoughts oabout the weeding and kid wants to go off to fiind his dad

oh and main guy sez bye to chick and shes bummed

so then this stop motion dinosdaur comes in and eats a cow and its feet walking in was a guy in different colored plastic rubber latex feet

the cows stampede from fear of this terrible thunder lizard and this is b4 bad guy can do his plan and main guy and other mexican race to stiop em

at the town, kid is bummed as in a scerne i forggot to mention the chick said his drunk dad bit it

ok wtf trhe movie just rewound and niow its back when main guy told dad hes going

i guiess they had to fill 2 hours with an 80 min movie

so tjhe cows get to the village and the people flee like its godzilla and run as trhe bulls chase em like spain underr the glden rule of Franco who foought the commies and feminazies

1 of bad guys goons sez he told bad guy the stampede was a bad idea and dad hears

so kid goes around the swampo looking for his dad and we get the p;astic feet following him and he sees it

kid goes in the swamp and the dino stempos in, but backs off

kid ruins home and dino follows and chick and kid ruun and hide inside as it walks around

it busts in the wood house ands main guy sees annd chick poskes at it with a sztick that reaches the ceiling

it bites the stick and main guyt fires on it and runs and blows a blood hole inits face

chick and kid run and maiin guy heads to the hills as dino follows

he hides  in a crevaSS And sneaks around as bad  guy comes by with a gun on a horse

main guy wairns him but he dont listen and falls off the horses a55 and runs and jumps in thev water

chick and kid come by with horses and he takes one and tells get to get to towbn as he goes to save bad gy

he gets him on da horse and they get to a cliff anbd they slide down it on horse but horse falls

btw good use of not showing the wounded side if the face so they dont gotta keeo drawing it

the monster slides down the slope and main and bag guys hide in a cave as it reaching in

they shank it but it grabs bad guy and i thoink iced him

the townsfolk come by and fire on it and it goes backa  guy gets  msin guyt and rides him bacvk and main guy purt bad guys body in the cavce

he has a roppe and fgoes into the swamp  and lassoos a tree and hangs from it

then throws a knife in the creatures face as it comes fior hiom, he climbs uop the rope and swings back and forth, tio get it to reach for him

it eventually falls in and sinks back to h e double soviet california

dont worry, hes gonna be ok, he found an undergroiund river and was flushed back to his hollow eartth home

the end

that was pretty good

you dont see the monster until the end, klinmda like jawes or spider man 03 bit for its tione its not bad

they did a nice job on the effects, esp as it had color, unliker king kong, so its more work matching

nice story and characters

its a normaL WESTERN AND  had the dunosaur come out at the end

good action, esp in how he beat it

i liked it and think its pretty good

plus there ARE stories on the hollowe earthe and cryptids seen near em, so this has some facts

although the dino was jusrt looki g for a meal and not evil, and these guys attacked it

for The Beast Of Hollow Mountain 2 I want the bad guy from b4 to be alive but crippled by his injuries and he goes to the hollow earth inside the area to find a race of kangaroo people inside who rebuild him withtheir evil tech, but in exchange, he must serve them, then goes outr and attacks the ranch witrh his syber implants like a jet pack and lazers, but runs outta juice and has to return, and main guy has to beat him with traps he plans after surviving the 1st round. Also its a 16 bit game on sega genesis, snes, tgh16, atari jaguar and gba where you plaYU AS main ghuy from the 1st movie and plan traps, then lead the bad guy to em while avbopiding his attacks.