The Indian Fighter Review

 note; i spoell el indiano

The Indian Fighter

This is my review on The Indian Fighter froimn the distant furture year (to the Confederates) of 1955 (50 years before Transfoirmers The Movie took place)

Its dierdsctal by Andre DeToth who did the 50s House Of Wax

It staras Kirk Douglas from spartacus (Jewuish Cowboy?), Walter Matthau from The Taking of Pelham One Two Three/The Bad News Bears/Dennis the Menace, Walter Abel from the 30s The Three Musketeers, Lon Chaney GX from Mice and Men/The Wolf Man/My Favorite Brunette/Manfish, Eduard Franz from thee 49 Madame Bovary/The Thing from Another World/The Ten Commandments, Alan Hale GX from The Big Trees/Hang 'Em High/Gilligan's Island/the 60s Batman/ALF, Elisha Cook GX from The Maltese Falcon/Sergeant York/One-Eyed Jacks/House on Haunted Hill\Shane\Blacula\ the GOOD Star Trek\Alf, Ray Teal from Sergeant York\The North Star\Captain Kidd,The Best Years of Our Lives, My Favorite Brunette, Samson and Delilah, Chisum, Judgment at Nuremberg, One-Eyed Jacks, The Snake Pit, Frank Cady from The Great Rupert, 7 faces of dr lao, William Phipps from Cinderella, The Red Badge of Courage, the 50s The War of the Worlds, Julius Caesar, The Snow Creature and the 80s Dune, Harry Landers from The Ten Commandments and Thr Black Whip, Hank Worden from Sraghecoach, Angel and ther Badman, rED rIVER, tHE sEARTCXHERS, tHE aLAMO, Mclintoiick, Chisum, Big Jake, Beyond Tomorrow, Bullwhip, One-Eyed Jacks and The Music Man, Lane Chandler from the 30-s MN IN THE iron mask, and some 30s guys i never saw in anything

i never saw this b4 but its on the grit channel and i wanna review something

So after credits and cienmascope widescreen, hay, ben hecht did this,  we get color and muyisc by franz waxman

th names are in handwriting as they have no souls

so its weidescren but fixes it as this chick starts taking off her clothss  and we see her braless bvack

kirk comes by on his horse and an arrow nearly hits him and the indian who firwed it sez next time hed ice him

kirby is friends with the indians bro but indian dont want him therehis name is grey wolf and he has a bro? isnt that Monster Rancher?

so tyhe kirk sucker goes by and the naked chickk hides and kirk goesd to the indian village and brosez he thought kirk was dead and hopped that all the Whites would kill each other in the civil war

if i said that about rwandans, it would be "offensive"

or the cartels in drug wars

or inidans in india

or asians in ww2 or korea or nam or laos

so bro is the leader and dont want people on his land to hunt for Gold and will exdcute people for going on his land

the kirk soccer wants to take the White men cack to face White justice and is gonna leave but stays for a meal as he sees naked chick but shes wearing clothes

bro shows kirk the gold but wont tell where he got it as it wont bring back the buffalo or fix the envioronment

actually, you could pay people to breed buffalo and raise em and clwan the area

money can be exchanged for goods and services

so later the non naked chick is at the eater and kirk takes off his shirt and goes to the water and follows her

easy there weinstein!

so he sez he saw her mom clean her when she was a kid(woody allen no!) and he makes out with her woc with out consent!

she gets away but ron jeremy douglas follows and grey wolf sees him and goes after him

non naked hick goes to her tent but kerk stays outside with a knife  like a creeper

this is turning into bad svu

therers GOOD svu?!

i like the grain and film style in this, it looks like an 80s direct to video mobvie liek AXE

later these indians wrere trading gold for whisky but said no kore and one of the guys hunting gold shot him when he attacked

the indians go on em and kirk finds the busted whiuskey jar

they catch 1 ghuy, walkter maghharow and grill him saying they were just hunting and the indians attacked him

kirk wants matthao for a witness but kirk has to fight to win him back

what is this?! yugioh?!

synchro summon; hot red nova dragon archfriend!

so kirk coccor i mean soccer gets on a horse battle with spears weith an indasin, then uses getter tomahawks

theres some ninja monves of horse jumpingh or crawling aon em and kirkj restrains the foe and dont finish huim

card gamers on morotclyes? morte like sowrd games on horses!

kirk wins and leaves witrh the msattao and bro sez he's gonna be at the fort tomorrow to see White Mans Justice

so later the kirk is going arcoss the dforrest and talking about how kirk slugged mathow

then they hear a sound in the woods, then look andf a 9 foot sasquatcjh coems out, grabs mathaos head, and cruches it in a spray of blood and bone and brains

jk really maothoa sez he and his partner was gettign gold from the indians but it tgrickles down and his partner shot the guy

so kirke goes back to the American AREA AND in the fort, whih is probably gonna be attacked, and the guys diont like yankees and indians

but are ok with kirk after hearing he killed indians and the people worry about the dangers of indians

to be fair, in canada, many native people are murdered, and its usually by other natiues

also for thousands of years, the indians killed each other on North and South America until The White Man came and for a few hundrted years, killed some

so later kirk goes to the head guys and the head says the indians scalped a guy,m so kirk brings in matyhao and sez he is the man they siad was salmcped

kirk sez its settlers who trade whiskey for gold and its not the indians who are the big deal

they lock up mazthao and when kirk sez mathao had a partner they almsot lock him up, i think, i wasnty looking

outside a kid sez kirk iced more indians than davey crocket(does sasquatch count?) and is into killing indians and being a stereotypical wuild west kid

kid dont got a dad but has a grandpa and mom (is he in=bred? and mom sez her husband hgot iced in something

shew invites him to dinner and she's played by kirk douglaesses wife at the time

so later the indians come on horees(not like that!) and enter the White Base(not like that!)in the jail, mathao is n there with his partner who was in a bar and kirk caught in a scene i for got to mention and the ary guys take a p[hoto of the bro and commander and kirk

then its clearly dasy but tinyted to be darker and they are dancing

alan hale gt is tallking with a chick and a photographer shows photoes of the thing he took

and now its day again as they forgot to tint it as much

kirk dancer with mrs douglas and later its openly day again and mathao and his homie are sent free as they clasimed self defence, but if they return, it'll be sending em to bro

so the horses and wagons go on and photographer takes a shot of the scenary and tells of a time how he told mr brady in the 1st civl war how he wanted to photograph thew wehole west to get people to come and civilize it

kirk dont want it settled as its like a woman and he donty want it changed and dont wanna share it or civilize it

but lets photographer do it as if he dont otherts will

if i dont buirn down the buiklding, someone else will;, so its ok!

thats ur logic kirk sucker

at the night and not just tinted day, the people eat and sing songs

1 kid wants to know about kirks knife if he did indians with it and mom sends him to bed

mom worreis of the su but kirk sez tyhey are nio more dangerous than other folks

mom wants to have kirk settle down and start a farm, but kirk sez no ass he's not a farmer and she sez he can hunt and trap

he sez he'd not be a good husnand as in real wife, kirk douglass b0ned a lot of chick sbesides his wife

thats how aids spreads

angus hale offers to be a good apple grower to mom and the  next day time the convoy goes on and mathao thtrrows a rattlesnake at krik

but kirk blows its head off as hes just that bada55 like kenshiro or steven segal

so the convoy goes on and through the river and above em are some indias on horses a55es

the convoy goes through the hills and is in su terrritory and go uphill so they go down later

so kirk notices that guys are following him so he walks around with hard to follow editing, then sneaks offwhen they think hes in a cart

the kurk goes off into thew woods and sees ex naked chick and he tries to giuve her back her knife

he thows it in the tree and makes out with her w o c when she grabs it

she runs and he grabs her in the river and they make otu as i guess he had secks ppotion on his lips and they make otu in the water

at the camp, the gold hunters wanna find kirk tomorrow as "hes not digging gold at night(why!?)

anitsu hale wants to use buffalo fetilizer and kid dont know what that is

some indians come by and trade goods and tiems and food and its like a yugioh torunament

photographer take sa shot and the bang of the thing scares em

mathao and his droog lure in an indian to have whiskey by smacking his lips louid and holding a drinking thing

kirk tries to leave but non named chicim tierd a rope to his foot and he falls

i guess they b0ned and she whines about how hes White and she's indian(Unlike her actress) and hes moving on but her tells her he's gonna be back and has a job to do as he took the conboy tyhrough the area to see her(and b00ne)

gray wolf i think comes by and mathao got the indian drunk to learn where the gold is, even though if he's drunk he will have a harder time telling em

indian tell em but gray wolf is standign there and goes to shank the indian for brewaking the vow of tribe, so mathao and freind restrain him

gray woilf make a sound and it alearts the others and they ice him and all h-ll breaks loose like thaty guy said in the end dub of turning mecard

later kurck gets back and sees gray woldfd iced and in h e double soviet california and the camp f'd

he follows where the convoy went on and the indians in the area have their rituals for when someone gets it

so the convoygoes through a river and kirk goes by rapids and eventually an indian spipers his hoirse like hes j fk and when he coemes to ckin his head, kirk counters after faking beign dead and shanks him

kirk takes out another indian on a horse with a knife to the back in a throw and jacks his horse

he carjacked him! he's a homie!

then the fort sees the convoy returning and they get in the gates of troy before the horse is let through

later kirk comes back and they think he sold em out to an indian trap an a swarm of gys go all over him to hold him down

but an army guy firresd a shot and sez he sent for reinforcements and as commander, he decides what happens

commander asks wtf happened and kirk sez mathao and his droog iced gray wolf but commander sez they got iced

also kirk admits he left his post to b0ne an indian chick

these soldiers come in on horses but are already dead and kept up buy being tied on like el cid

imagine if the soldiers pulsated and blew apart in a spray of guts and bone shrapnel as it was a trap?

so the indians send horsdes carrying logs that drag up the dust around the area like withd w griffith in the birth of a nation using smnoke to make  the battlefield seem bigger

later the indians come by in the dust and throw fire spears in the fort and use fire arrows and fling flaming cr-p over the walls

in the battler camera man drops his camera over the wall and kirk fires at the indians which makes the men joke about himicinginhis droogs

the indians use a cart full of fire (chariot of fire?) and it hits the fort and ingihgts it

the men throw water, shich is limited when dirt is reusable and just as good, and men go out on horses to fight and tiop the burn

if this were in the 80s they;''d be on motorcycles

or in the 2020s they'd be on hovercycles

so the kirksmen stop the next fire cart (in thje burnign cart, just about to burst) and kirk gts the camera

later kirk wants to go out to try to get the indians to stop by sending out the men who iced bros bro grey fox as tomotrow when the sun in behind em, the indians will attack and end em

kirk is denied and is trold to return to his poast

he goes and talks with mom and kid and kid cheerfully says "they say we'll all be dead tomorrow!"

mom smooches kirk with consent even thoguh hes had so many other chicks and she porbably has oral aids

kirk jumps the fense and runs but the men fire on him but commander stops the shooting

soldfier sez he told commander to get reinforcements but commander HAD to listen to kirk and now they';re f'd!

kirk goes to ex naked chicks place and tells her he needs to find the gold to catch the guys and end the war and she belienves him

he goes there and finds the mathao and and homie planing to get gold and he thrtows them the item mathao had pulled off him from the fight

kirk tells em hes taking em to bro evewn if they are burned alive (f--kin what?!)

they puty off the dino might and as they flee, naked chuick wioth clothes shanks 1 of em

kirek brings in the body and the survivor to grey tolfs bro tiger of the wind and sez its mathao who iced grey wolf

kirk sez he found mathao at the gold mine and chick told him so bro is gonna end her even though shes his daughter

mathao is shot with a flaming arrow and bites it and ro wants tio fight but kirk tells em the Amercians will end him

also bros grandson is his kid even though krik is older than the bro

kinda like pan being older than bra but her dad and grandpa are younger than bras rents in dbgt

so the indians leave and peace is restored

the end

That was pretty good

nice color and style

good acting and writing

a bit edgier and darker, but still clean

good story and twists

Sorta like Robotech with the guy caiught between 2 sides

its well done and has some good stuff to it

oh and it has good flow and pacing

it dont drag and goes by well without having much happen

nowadays everything goes at light speed and everything happens at once

For The Indian Fighter 22, I want it to be 20 years later and the americans and indians are at peace, but the Sasquatch attack from their daenon dimension and the AmericaNS have to team up[ wit the indians as the Americands have the tech and the indians have past knowledge on the sasquatch style. Also its a 128 bit zelda like game on Sega Dreamcast, GameCybe, PS2 and XboX where you play as the kid of kirk douglas and use steam punk tech to fight through 3d levels agaiinst sasquatch areas ND BASES and into their hive where they have their daemonic sasquatch tech from before Noah's Flood