The Crow Wicked Prayer

Note: I spell Wicxked

The Crow Wicked Prayer

This is my review on The Crow 4 Wicked Prayer from the diistant future year  to brandon lee of 2005 (the yerar of the transformers movie and robotech return to macross)

I never saw this but did see the 1st 3 Crow movies and liked em, but won't review 1 or 2 cuz they're cursed and 4 is said to be the worst so imma give it a chance

It starts edward FOOTLONG from SPURMuinator 2 J-ZZ MAN GAY as John BONNER, jk its Edward Furlong from American History X/Brainscan/Pet Sematary Two\Terminator 2: Judgment Day, David Boreanaz, who's Slovenian and not mexican like I always thought, from Baby Blues\Angel\Buffy the Vampire Slayer\Justice League: The New Frontier, Tara Reid from California Dreams\the Sharknado movies/Alone in the Dark\Urban Legend\The Big Lebowski\A Return to Salem's Lot, Marcus Chong from The Matrix(after being f'ds outta the sequels by the guys who made it)\Little House on the Prairie/SVU, Tito Ortiz from MADtv and was married to jenna jameson(the daughter of j jonah), Yuji Okumoto from The Karate Kid Part II/3x3 Eyes\Pearl Harbor\The Truman Show\Superman The Anmimated Series, Dennis Hopper from Rebel Without a Cause\Giant\Cool Hand Luke\Hang 'Em High\eASY rIDER\Apocalypse Now\The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2\Hoosiers\Super Mario Bros.\Waterworld\\Land of the Dead\the 660s The Twilight Zone\King of the Hill, Emmanuelle Chriqui from Snow Day/You Don't Mess with the Zohan\Beware the Batman\thhe 2010s Thundercats/Robot Chicken\Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Danny Trejo from Death Wish 4: The Crackdown\Lock Up\Marked for Death\From Dusk till Dawn\Anaconda 001\Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy\The Devil's Rejects(*Which s-cked)/Machete\ropb zombie's Halloween\3-Headed Shark Attack\3-Headed Shark Attack\Baywatch\El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera\The Cleveland Show\the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles\American Dad!\Big City Greens\Blue Bloods, and a few guys not on soviuer wiikipedia

its drirected by Lance Mungia wjo did nothinbg I seen

affter logos for miramax and dimensionwe get occult illisttrations and credits we get the title and then trext xasating poluted mining ruined a reservation town and the miners are at a breaking point

a CAR DRIVES BY THIS TOWN AND THERES PROTESTERS and hippies wanting a mmine closed and workers on the other saide who are probably unionites so theres no good guys here

1 mexcican gets a shotgubn and 1 guy called pestilence gets sprayed by toxic ooze as a mexican called faminye egts in his car

the short gun mexcian is war anmd is kinda ret-rded and then we see tara with a sniper rifle aND SEEING A CHAIN GANG CLEANING UP CR- BY DA ROAD

A RIGHT BREAKS OUT VBETWEEN THE WORKERS AND HIPPIES AND 1 INMATE IS MAKSED AND HELF BY GUARDS AS TARA SNIPERS OFF HIS CHANCKLES

a fire hits some chemicals and blows and tara is the inbate she freeds woman and hes angel from budffy

he sees a cross and takes off his jumpsuit and his droogs come by andf give him a gun and hes called death andf a satanic cult reader

the 4 ghorsemen soak a mexico priest in gas and famine sezx the 4 hortsemen ride again

death the hedgehog holds a match by the priest and is gonna cam him but tara stops him ad wants to marry him

but maiirage is a holy bond between man and wife under the Lord, then again if atyyhiests do it, thats wrong too!

what next? holocost deniars wanting a bar mitzva?

co rpoducers kit carson, the 1800s guy?!

edward footlong has a big black scorpion in a fridge and a can of cr-p and feeds it to his dog and imagine if there was a crow movie bout a guy and his dog he b0ned?

but ed geins gf is not his dog but some chick and i think its the chick from snow day 1 and she giuves a speech for peace and of the crow brings the deads souls off but can bring it back to fix wrong things

2 teens paint the word killer on eddy brocks cr-pmovole he lives in and ed goes to make out with snow day whos actually morrocan jewish but i guess thats close enough to mexican

isnt that kinda portuguese? or close?

they weanna skip town and live a happy life and get married but when she yells "i love you" eddy dont want it as hes got a past

the preacher played by danny trejo and snow days dad dont want her with edward footlong as they saw american history x and think if you make 1 racist movie you actually are racist like they said about d w griffith

although anthony hpopkins did all thiose cannibal movers, so i guess he really eatsd people

what about ron hopward an those da vionci code films? is he racist against Catholics?

so edwardo gets on a tuxedo like hes rerqdy fo some SM; Sailor Moon and the cop pulls him over andpoints a gun at him but hes not scared vuz the bullets in his hand

he goes to mary the chick callled lily like wedding peach and finds tara in some sm thing and mask 

the 4 horsemen cat him and have lily the sbniowday and stoing up ed as lily goes for a gun

death the headegoh stops her and they sting her up as edwardo begs and they slug out ed

tara sez he thoguht her eyes were pretty wehen they were in school and gets a knife and takes em out offacrewwen as death smokes a faeg

we get flashbacks to death and ed elric watching lily talk and they kick the stoopol outta under lily;s eyel;ess body and it falls

then tara says a spell and they do something offscreen and i think she gets the lilys eyes even thoguh heres were not blue like this bimbo blonde and sez shje has shaman eyes

death sez w/o eyes she'd be lost  in the spirit world forever like that jon wayne movie wherte he sdhot out the corpese eyes

edfonz swears to kill derath the hedgehog and is killed by him then death spazzes out and i think he took out eds heard and it crumbled to sand asfter a spell and now has a mark on his chest like the signer heart mark on yugioh 5Ds

familne and pestilince dumnp thge bodies in a landfuill and famine seez this fridge his mom locked him in as a kid

they dump the bodies in it and throw it in a lake trhen burn it

in their lair tara has visions and angel has deviled ham deviled eggs and devils food cake cuz this is a carotoon

death sez how someones gonna shut down the mines to open a casino and he';s gojna do something

he talks each one into getting more loyalty and is gonna have the dewvil walk in his shoes

they gotta eat some thing b4 sunrise or they lose the power and i think its drugs as the screen goes devolved and phazey

then edward footlong comes out of his grave looking kinda emo and the crow has brought him back and he spazzes out at his face in a toaster

her looks in the friedge and looks like a devolved pee wee herman and gets his woman out and brings her back to her place

with some flashbacks of them being happy and like the 1st movie,m he brushes her hair with his hand and put a cloth over her eyeless sockets

he has more flashbacks of david bonearz and gets a gun and shoots himself through the gut but it does sh-t

thats how brandom lee died

he looks at himslef in a broken mirror like the 1st mpovie and busts up the place like the 1st movie

after a flashback of her puitting make up on his facer like ronald mcdonald, he emo's out and makes up and gets some leather thing goingbut looks like a girl or a malcontent teen trying it

he torches his home and remmbers his woman says "ur not a killer" and dspazzes out

the cops find tyhe lillys body and think edward did it but dont know hes dead but not really

at a church bvut more of a log cabin,m theres A wedding aND THER GANG INTERRUPTS ANd says the priest owes him

death sez he helped him with money in the colection box so he could win so death could take it away

priest sez he changed and isnty bad anymore and angel wants him to use a gun

he keeps saying "i changed" and angel caps him and has others ended

later in a bar pestilance or maybe war, im not sure, , yeah pestilance is screwing around with an empty gun and the crow lands on himand he thiunks hes seeing things cuz i guess hes on drugs

edward elric scomes in and clasps his hands and grabs him and he blows apart in a spray of blood and chunks

jk reallly its furlong and sez they owe him 2 lifggetimes and a pair of blue eyes

ed beatsn his a55 and jumps around liek itys a kung fu movie and dodges his stioned gunfire and beats otu a guy who interferes

he sez to tell them to be afraid and pestilance mocks him with saying "will u marry me" and ed jams the back of his head in a bug zapper and it leaves a geoglyph like the nazca lines of a crow around him

so ed stops the herst and gets hsi womans charm and scares the guy in it out and later macete kills is reading da bible and talking with mexzicans and prayes for the power to forgive

angel of love lily is remembered of saying gooid things of being ijn urt heart and ed buries her under a tree where no one will find her unless theres a coyote or somethign that can dig

a guy(i wasn'ty looking) said that the cops autyhority ends at reservation line so they have their own justice

in some mexiuco place death gets war o stay with him by sayung"did ur bros deserve to die in the mines dfubn too deep and close to waterr" and ewwar smiles

eddy finds  thwe wife of the priset, which means hes not catholic, and shes scared and he comforts her like dog the bounty hunter

he sees photoes of ther fam and his mugshot and flashbacks tio a chick beign weinsteined and him beating out the guy who did it and i think he iced him and thats why itsa murdewr

but itsa not murder if its in defence of another or your own life

in texas this guy walked in a barn and saw this guy b0ning his little girl, so he beat the guy dead, and wasdn't charged

In The Bible, Jacob;' daufghter was raeped by thsi guy so her bros got him to cirvimcise himsdelf and his men and chopped em up[

imagine if after wreinsteins 1st vidctim if her fam chopped him uo?

save a lot of virginity

so wife pints a gun at him but he goes and famine psychs himself up and busts some items in a storea with a bsaeball bat and ed gein comes in and has a baseball bat swordfiight

after disarming hbim, ed finishes him with a head shot that in rweal life should bust his head iopen and spray gopo all over

angel sez "didn't we kill that guy" guy isnt surpized as hes into the black arts and ed confronts him

angel sez "i showed u how to fight and survive" and "ur making the wrong thign weright, im godoing it too"

angel offers john bonner a chance to joij him and asks whays the difference between em and ed reracxhes for tara but angel thhrows him across the room with his black powered stregngth

angel throws a tomohawk at the crow and war caps him a bucnh and shouldnt this happen in like 20 mins? we got an hour left to fill

war shoots up the [place and his gun jams as hes about to cap a kid and edward saves him and escapes

the limo driver sees a guy going by and sez edward took his car but is left behind

cop finds edward in the place war shot up and thinks he did it but ed sez he didnt

ed wants him to blow eds brains out and grabs him and shows him the memories of what happened like in the 1st movie

the gang has someone caught and tara wants to go to the coast but dath domnt wanna and they go to this misxcian church and its got red light comming outta it and death and tara make out

in da church is a secks club or srt-p club or something and dennis hopper from mario is there and is el nino as his mad max name

he knows angel and they want something from him but he thinks they aint worth getting it

they got the limo driver whos a virgin cuz he has morals and angel and tarta are gonna have a black marriage by dennis hopper

so da crow comes in and wacks a few people including a big b--chy black woman and fights war as dennis hopper speeds through the ritual which you'd think might f it up

crow kills war and wait, he opns fire on these cops and they fire back and he and the crow are facing off sagainst ther law like winston from ghost busters and brandon lee

dennis hoppper pronounced them devil and his shortie and they smooch and she shanks him

war goes out to dfie a hero and uses dino miught to blow him self to die a hero or li=ve a coward and blows iopen the church

the cop tells them that edward is ther crow and they dont buy it and angel rtevivces and crow comes in and angel sends him flyin with invisible ki like hokuto ryu ken in hokeito no ken 2

he beats jimmy lee the crew, yes his name is jimmy liek bimmy and jimmy in doubel dragon inspired by kenshiro inspired by bruce lee like brandon lee cuiz its all connected

angel plays the piano and wants to dig in a sacred bewrial ground and denis is grad to see angel is the devil and its revealed in flashbacks that tara was sdennisses h--ker and she made her b0ne guys and she ends him with a knife

the croew is nailed to a cross like that joke draven told in the 1st movie and angel comes out and the cxops let him go to the berial grounds as they dont know what he is like with bi den or ba rock or bback door billy

the people take biummy off the cross and danny trejo believes hes the crow and he revives and goes out to go out but has flashbacks of his woman in a day sky and at a swing on a tree

he tells macete kills that lily believed in him and macehte is malcontent over him but cop sz to help him

danny; how could i tolerate such a man? crow; she did

he seems a bit snarky and not as bada55 as dravben or the frenchie in part 2

danny takes off his shirt and they have some mexico dance and david bonaerzis about to b0ne tara by this graven idol and eric i mean edward comes by and faces him

tara sez he cant stop or theyd just be white trash(which means wqhites too poor to own slaves in the 1800s)  and angel busts him and mocks him and b--ches about God not giving him sh-t when ed egin the croiw got this

tara looks through her spellbook and angel beats on jimmy and he grabs angel and spits in his face

angel beats on him and spits back on him and danhny and the mexicans dance sas the crow that was axed revivces

did thewy just cast a resurrection speell?! is this D&D?!

bimmyy gets his powerrs back and they fighht as edrward footlong looks like paul reubans in mysterymen 

so edwang beats him out and the sun rises and tara looks at it like a bimboi and prays the Hail Mary

angerl sez the 4 horsemen are riding and as he lists em ity shows em getting it

he charges draven gx and is thrown onto a wood thing and is skewered

angel sez an angel w/o mercy is a devil(nbot canon) and the ed cuts his neck even though hes spiked

danny machete is gonna blow off taras head but the cop saves and arrests her

then its day and edwinger goes to the swing his babe was on and sees their names he carved into a tree

imagine if i carved my hname on some guy i met at the bus stop? how you think the tree fdfeels?!

then he hugs his woman and gives her the riung and i think is this a flash back?>

they smooch aND CREDITS ROLL TO SOME SOFT SON THATS KINDA 00S

best boy rob lowe

caterign pig boys

its the pigman jerry! the pigman!

special thanks; monkeyland

freeza; he was just, a mon key!

the end

that was not so bad

its a decent film that has well made

people said this movier s-0cked, but i think its ok

of course the 1st is the best, but that how movies usually are

the only time part 3 or 4 is ther best in the series is in video games

sonic 3, mario 3, castlevania 3, meega man 3, Splatterhouse 3, Bomberman GB 3, Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3, Mega Man Zero 3, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare, Bonk 3: Bonk's Big Adventure, Final Fight 3

and for 4 we got Phantasy Star 4: End Of The Millennium, Wario Land 4, Mega Man X4, Mega Man Zero 4, Mega Man 4, Mario Party 4, Bleach DS 4th: Flame Bringer, Contra 4, Monster World 4

yeah edward wasn't as tough as the 1st few crowsa and the proiduction wasnt as imprressive

but this was a direct to video thing and the 1st was threarttical

its like complaining that the pokemon tv show isnt as well animated as the pokemon movies

i thought it was a decent film and has kind of a nice direct to video 00s style like thgose syfy movies they used to make

my mom thought the crow was a native american thing cuz of the crow being his spirit guide and the land of the dead and thast 1 epo eherwe marc decascos was a native american in a past life

but its not actually nmative, except this has some connection to it, unlike the other crow movies

this wasnt as bad as i was told and while the 1st 2 were great, this was good

For The Crow 5 I want it to be about a blonde curcy actress who was in love wih a politician and wanted him to leave his wife for her, but the guy and his bro she was also b0ning had her wacked as it might cost him the ere lection, so the crow brings her back and she takes out the guys involved in her hacking while wearing some skimpy leather outfit like a sling bikini and using her sniper skills to end those who ended her, also its a 128 bit game on sega dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox where ytou play as this chick and its like Robotech Battlecry with sniper action and some 2D fighting levels where you beat through guys, I'd call it, The Crow 5: Blonde Ambition!