The Valley Of Gwangi Review

Note: I Spell like a kid into dinosaurs

The Valley Of Gwangi

This is my rview on The Valley Of Gwangi rom the distant ture year to willis obrein of 1969(70 years before the 2nd Robotech War)

Its directed by Jim O'Connolly who did Berserk! from the 60s

It stars James Franciscus who b0ned jane fonda from Beneath the Planet of the Apes/The Twilight Zone/Father Knows Best/The Rifleman, Gila Golan from I Dream of Jeannie,  Richard Carlson from Beyond Tomorrow/It Came from Outer Space/Creature from the Black Lagoon, Laurence Naismith from The Million Pound Note/Solomon and Sheba 1959/Village of the D===ed 1960/Cleopatra 1963/Jason and the Argonauts 1963, Freda Jackson from Great Expectations 1946/Clash of the Titans the good one, Gustavo Rojo from Genghis Khan 1965, and a buncha guys not on bac door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, gender offender, frooty booty, wiener cleaner, soy boy, beta male, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants, Creator hater, queer as a deer with a steer in his rear who sez agent orange is bad but shots are ok.

Its gonna be by willis o'brein but he bit it and Ray Harryhausen too over

The story was from like the 40s but got put off til nearly the 70s

I never saw this but heard its not great but othes like it

after logo and wasteland canyons this gypsy goes around calling

1 gypsy in a river has something alive in his bag and others find him

old gypsy sez leave it as its cured and they'll et it if they bring it but this gypy don't care and the old one eyed gypsy sez he'll learn to obey

then title and creits with good color and illustrations

allcharactes are fictionel, really? wat about he partridge creek beast?

additional material julian more, like juliane moore?

then its south of the ryo grand at the dawn of the 20th century like nadia the secret of blue water and all these mxicans and cowboys go by in a parade

this mexikid bugs a White man dressed like Doug Dimmadome til he agrees to hep hm and gets 15 pesos which is like a few yen

doug goes to a rodeo and he heard of it has issue with him but i wasn't paying attenyion as im listening to lines my new york homie set for variable geo abridged

not doug seez a chick in a skimpy outfit do a dive of a thing in a ring of fire into a pool

after that she goes to get change and he follows her in to talk and she had a past with him

he wants her for a buffalo bill thing and he'd get 20% but she don't consent and she's dubbed over as se was raised by Hebrews and had a thic accent but was unknown family as they bit it in WW2 and found in Poland

not doug and mexikid go off in the wasteland and find a professor who's an archeologist who wants to prove man evolved longer ago than 1 million BC

he has a fossil of an alleged primitive horse that evolved into modern ones and a humanpid footprint he found here

but spoiler; the 5 toe to 4 toe to eventually hoof horses they say evolved has been disproven as they found bones of these alleged earlier forms in the same layer

so pole woman talks with a mexicowboy about goin into some thing as a guy uses a cape to fight a bull in training in he arena

the bull wigs out and i was looking at a youtube thing of Robert Sepehr and missed it but she reconciled with him and they seem to have b0ned offscreen

he sez he didn't wanna leave her b4 but didn't wanna get married 

she shows him this mini horse with several toes but hoofclops and its stop motion and really good in int of the camera before the humans

she wants to use it for circus shows with it riding another horse back

not doug gets proessor who sez its 50 million years after it otta be extinct and not doug wans to sell it to the demon worshippers in circuses

mexicowboy is disuntled by them knowing the secret and wont say where the gypsies who found it are

in this gypsy camp the gypsies dance and do their thing but not doug and professor get there

1 eyed monster sez the horse is bad and professor asks wat she'd do i she knew where it is

she sez return it to the forbidden valley andthen its day and not doug talks with mexikid on if he otta hep a woman or himself

mexikid sez its love but he se loves or latins and mexichild reveals he's meeting professor bittish outside the areana tonight

then its clearly day and i think tinted and mexicowwhb y beats up gypsues truing to break in to steal and/or b0ne and/or eat the mini horse

the midget gypsy ko'd him with a pole to the head andthey steal the horse as professor watches em

not doug goes after em and professor tries to stop em and mexicowboy sez not doug too it with the gypsoes but pole woman dont believe him

the mexicowboy and pole woman go after em and not doug finds prffoessor hidin in the shade and hassles him over taking it

professor sez he's following the gypsies to the forbidden valley to find more and looks like alan Oppenheimer from he man

the gypsies elease the mini moon horse and leave

aroud the forbidden valley is jagged cliffs and high rocks

is this the great valley from the land before time?

mexichil finds a mess of blood offscreen and find the gypsy camp tent but no gyopsies

mexicowboy and pole come in and they find the mini horse and she eventually lassoes it but it pulls her on her t-ts

not doug grabs it but she sez keep ur hands off it and he lets it go

they chase it into a small hole in a rocks a55 so 1 guy goes in and sez it opens to a whole valley

the horses pull the rocks of the opening to widen the holes a55 and they drive their horses in

also this is widescreen and colored

they find these rock formations which were probably ancient tech building before THEY ruined it

Then a bluish Pteranodon gras I think Mexichild and carrys it of

1 less problem

it falls and spazzes on the groud so mexicowboy wrestles it with good effects and snaps its neck

in close up they use a rubber thing of a darker color

they see a purole Ornithomimus and chase it til an allosaurus eats it and the coboys run

mexicowboy is seen and it chases and professor sez the ptreadactlyn was extrinct or over 50 million years

the uys leave and professorstays but regrets it seeing the allowcsaurus

a styractosauruis comes and they fire on it and run

the allosaurus eats the dead flyer and goes for professo but styracosauris comes and after roaring a while allosaurs leaves withthe ptranodoz

the cowboys get to a cave and start a fire but in the bullets they got are blanks for the show

1 guy accuses not doug for horse stealing and he slugs a guy out

not doug makes a trap outie the cave and i think its night but clearly day

pole woman wants to sell the show andgo with him and he wants to buy a ranch and build it up with her

they smooch and somethin fell in da trap hole

its professor andthey laugh

later notdoug goes out but allosaurus chases him and he falls off the horse getting in the cave

the other use sticks and a blanket to keep it back and mexicowboy goes out to help

not doug gets behind a rock and meicowboy lasos it and somehow pulls it on horse but it gets out

they get its foot and somehow pull it down but after spazzing around a while, gets up

not doug is almost eaten but the other coaboys lsso it by the neck, with good effect of it sinkin into it

mexicowboy whos actually a gypsy runs and faces styractosaurus with a fire stick

the alloauris gets out by bitin the ropes and fights the styracosaurs but mexicowboy tries in with a stic and shanks it then runs

he areas burning an allosauris eats on styractosarus but leaves it breathing like in jurasic park to chase the cowboys

ooh, it got 1 and ate him

they get out and alloaurus busts through the wall but it crumbles on it and nocks it out

not doug ties its mouth closed with rope I guess hoping its like crocdiles that can crush but hardly open

they see meicowboy got it and wanna use his as an attrition like king kong

they bring the dino back in a wood cage it somehow can't break out and 1 eye sez gwangi iced the mexicowboy like he iced his bro as she a in a dream

proessor se its no more evil than an aligotor after she calls it evil and they go on

in a packed arena they say Gwangi on a big sphere they had in the 1900s as tech was more advanced back then

professor dont want them to exhibit the dino and wants to use it or science and pole woman wants a world tour like rampage but not doug wants a ranch

she sez now they dont need it and she's all glittery and wants fame so he dumps her

mexichild sez she otta go after him and in the show is this stop motion elephant doing cr-p

the midget f's with the dino in a covered cage and the elephants fear it

an ancient guy, i think herotodus, said elephants were the natural enemy of dinosaur like creatures he describe in india

they raise the curtain and its eating the midget and busts the cage o the mexicans flee like someone called immigration

1 eye monster gypsy falls and is trampled

1 less problem

the cage falls on someone and an elephant fights it but is overtaken

eat that you tentacle monster!

i actually like it when reptiles beat mammals

except in humans and THEM

so gwangi gets loose and eats people as this want Godzilla but 1900s

some hide in a church as a sign of The Creator defending us from ancient reptiles

i just realized its a big purple dinosaur like barney

not doug fires on it with a shotgun but it does jack sh-t

btw why is this church have like 20 foot ceiling and doors?

Was it from before and had different inhabitants?

the people hold the big metal doors to keep the dino out and it pushes on em

it gets in and not doug is gonna lock it in as the people go out the back

he closes and locks the front door like that'll stop it and pole woman and mexichil hide as it comes for em like Jurassic park

the coboys try to et in but the doors locked from insaide

main guy thows a chair and jumps into the area by the other 2 then climbs the stairs an fights it with a spear

he falls on the organ an it scares it so he throws the spear in its head and it wwigs out

the humans run and he throws fire that quickly torches the place and cooks it

what was in that fire thing?!

it dies sceaming and the church burns/crubmles as THEY want us to think happens and its crushed by it

everyone watches an mexicahild crys but not tears of blood

then crdits like space balls with showing who played who with clips

the end

that was pretty goo

sorta Arthur conan doyole's th lost worl meets king kong

good acting and the effects were well done

the music worked and i liked the color

it an interesting twist havign it in the olde weste an i hear theres sightings o things lie a ptradactyl in a cave in soviet meixco and other supernatural cr-p

heres a love story but it didn't seem to have a tacked on sad moment like most films do

its not so long and goes by quick but on Grit was 2.5 hours with adds when the thing is 96 mins

its cool and has good ideas and style

now it woul be cg but this influenced things later like Jurassic Park

glad I saw tis, its pretty solid

For The Valley Of Gwangi 2 I want the pole and the not doug to be on a ranch and an explorer wants to see the valley. he se no so the pole is kinapped and te main guy blackmailed to getting em there. But the explorer is the one who arranged it. They go thee and have a film thing to record it and o on a photo hunt while avoidin other ancient catues. Also its a 32/64 bit on rails shooter like Pokemon Snap but you got ns to ight of enemues and gotta try not to ice em but scar em off. Its on N64, Sega Saturn, PS1 an 3D0.