Thursday, December 14, 2017

Marie Antoinette Review

note; this movie is long and French
marie Antoinette
this is my review on marie antoinettye (the 30s one)
its got norma sheerer and tyrone power and john barryumore
its based on a true story like nightmare b4 Christmas and primeval
but 1st the movie has to load like a sega cd game as we get overture for several minutes
its directed by w s van dyke who also did Tarzan the Ape Man (19 32) Thre thin man (I never saw it) san fran siscko (the 30s one) and other thin man films I never saw
so mary is gonna be married off to a Frenchie to be the French queen
shes happy to be married
also shes not French
shes Austrian like Arnold or fritz lang or fred Astaire or erich von Stroheim
later she meets her man, king lewie of france
then they get married
her husband seems a but odd
mary seems cheerful
mary and lewie talk and get to know eachother
lewie has a clock fetish and has 20 clocks in his workshop that go at the same time
then she sees fireworks outside
lewie as people who hate him for being king
and he feels inferior to his cooler brothers
and has no friends
he cant handle all this talk and wants to go
wait, he's not king yet
and it was his dad the kings idea for the marriage
lewie breaks down and mary comforts him
later its their 2nd anniversary
later the duke or orleens is being kind of a d-ck to people and sez something about some people not liking someone
its hard to follow
oh and this chick who hates lewie is there making comments
late lewie gives mary a spinning wheel he made 4 her
later mary gets a toy cradle with a poem telling her to go back to Austria and calls her infertile
according to wikipedea I missed a part where the lewie cant have kids
its from the hater chick
after he gets bummed, mary gives a positive speech to fight on
or in Yugioh zexal
later theres a party with chicks wearing weird head things and playing 1700s games
one game has a guy with covered eyes guessing who is who
also he feels and makes out with em
I like how this shows the cool rich guys in there
not the poors who would wack em
its like the opposite of a tale of 2 cities
later at a party tyrome power comes by and mary thinks hes Russian
hes a swede
his name is axel like alex gear or axel hawk
he has him fake being Russian
its to win a bet
also axel sez the commoners don't like her
a guy bets her a necklace if she can get the axel back after leaving
she smooches him and he books it
shje pays the guy the necklace
I just realized mary anntoinette is mary ann but longer
lewie b--ches at her for losing a 200 000 rench money necklace
also people think shes a 5kank
also the people in the castle and in the real world hate her
oh it not lewie
its her moms ambassador
later mary is dancing and lewie watches from above while eating an apple
the her chick word clashes with mary for a bit
I think the hater was a h00ker in the past
so later da king wants to end marys marriage
the king has dat power?
that's f;d
then again the brit qween had diaina wacked
oh and the king got up his lewies a55 so he countered and pushed him
then cowers saying sorry
later axel rose or w/e comes by and they chat for a while
I think they in love
they eventually smooch and it changes scenes
I think they b0ned
later they cuddle standing up as day breaks
btw I forgot to mention that duke orleens was descended from a regent years ago
I assume that's the only reason anyone pays attention to him
kinda like da qweens son charlez
except duke orleens never had his ex woman iced
later the king is gonna bite it
then he bites it
and lewie is king of franch
axel wants to break up with mary after she becomes queen
and hes going to America
hey try to make it look touching
buit they were cheeting on the king
I mean lewie
then we get intermission
later mary is pooping out a baby
the army fires 101 shots for a son and 21 for a girl
oh and apparently she had a girl b4
wtf they skipped the b0ning, pregnancy and 1st kid?
its a boy btw
then it shows some poors working hard and b--ching
theres a malcontent uprising
not like America
but the bad kind like cuba
and the malcontents blame her for their cr-ppyness and hate her ancestry
btw this is like an hour and a half in
it didn't feel like it
later theres something about an expensive diamond necklace and people think she wanted it
but shes framed
she has a trial but duke orleens is against em
he wants em to give up the throne
as he'd get the rule w/o em
she goes against orleens
later the guy on trial for lying about the mary gets away with it
just like with o j people cheer
and just like with the cops beating that drunk driver in LA, the people wanna go on a violent rampage
the king trys legal means to hold back the malcontents but they revolt
they bust in and overtake the palace
if the kings guards had better firearms they could mow down these invaders
the malcontents capture the king lewie and his fam
I some parlement thing people talk about the king and fam
the malcontents humiliate lewie and when mary stands up for her Frenchie husband they slap her
in he real version I think they were b0ning her and the king and the kids
later they are imprisoned and help comes to get em out
oh its axel
later they get out mary goes mental trying to get the right outfit to escape in
axel holds a guard at gunpoint to get mary away even though it means he's gonna get the chair
the fam gets away by mary faking being the governess of her own kids who say they are someone elses kids
a creepy guy talks to the fam and gets payed for the horses
the kid sez his dad is a locksmith
later the creepy guy gets that the kids dad is the king and goes after em
creepy guy gets ahead and gives the escort fake news about the king to send them away
the fam gets to where they were but they gone so they go ahead w/o em
at town they get stopped and some malcontent I think the creepy guy tryes to out em
hes doing well hiding his identity but a priest recognizes him
they go to jail and the female faking being the kids mom is taken away to be b0ned dead by frenchies
it don't show what they do to her but mary and lewie are disturbed by it
I assume they were pulling her flesh off her bones and eating her alive like a pack of centipedes
the malcontents vote to have the king put to sleep
lewie gets one last time to see his kids
he faces it with courage and honor
at 1 last dinner with his fam he does his best to be strong for his kids who dont know
he says a wholesome prayer and the next day is wacked
and everyone outside cheers for him getting chopped up
afterward the kings items are returned to his fam, including the sons broken toy the king fixed
then the new socialist government votes to take away the Mary's son
mary trys to appeal to their hearts
but they French and are thus evil
btw the kings kid has long hair
she sez bye to her son and they take him
later axel returns to soviet france even though if found he'd get chopped up
also duke orleens is getting the guillotine
and if anyone accuses you of being an enemy, u get chopped
sounds like today with people being accused of being a mo lester ort having a weird fetish or of being whatever-phobic
and the mary is getting iced tomorrow
axel sees mary and comforts her
oh and according to the wikipedea article the new gov used the sons testimony and twisted it to make his mom look bad
that's awful
how soviet
so then she gets the guillotine and axel cringes at it while wearing the ring she gave him
the end
that was not bad
kinda hard to follow and draggy at times
but not bad
I like historical films and this is set in the Castlevania days around the time of richter Belmont
now I now the story of mary anne
and I like how it shows the rich as victims of the poors
like with batmans rents
its not the best, but it has good elements
for marie Antoinette 2 I want axel to have saved Mary's kids and took em back to America where they gathered support for the new country to free france from the socialists. also in socialist france the people are going through low food so many have turned to cannibalism even when there are dogs around as they see dogs as superior to humans. realizing this, the americans send dogs coated with liquid HIV to france so when the people b0ne them they get infected. the French realize that if they keep b0ning dogs they all gonna bite it. but they still b0ne em. after a few years, the malcontents of france have died out and its a ghost town. but its really full of the ghosts of the malcontent frenchies too evil for even h-ll. so the marys kids go back there to seal the ghosts in magic jewels to keep em from ghost b0ning anyone who comes to france. also its a 16 but beat em up with player one as the son and player 2 as the daughter and they have to go around the area sealing ghosts in magic jewels by beating them up with holy kung fu. its on sega genesis, super Nintendo and Gameboy advance. oh and you gotta fight dogs with HIV and their half dog half Frenchie offspring as bosses.

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