Cloverfield Review

note; I remember when this came out. but not enough to spell well (?????)

cloverfield

this is my review on cloverfeld from 2010  wait, 2008

I never saw t b4 but heard it was good

its by j j abrams who did star wars gx and super 8

I never cared for star wars but super 8 I recall being good

huh

its actually directed by matt reeves who did Under Siege 2: Dark Territory d the new planet of the apes movies

it stars no one I really know or care about except the guy from the texas chainsaw massacre remake who as on the meat hook

so it starts wit footage sayin its like an account of something that happened in soviet new York

then we see camcorder footage of some dink and home with his woman

he goes through his day chatting with his homies and I think they're preparing for a trip to Japan or a wedding or something

so a guy gets in and they cheer as its like a party for him

later me mentions the tape this guy is recording on might have something on it

and after that theres flashes of some chick on a subway like in final destination 3

later its revealed 2 people b0ned and everyone talks of it behind everyone elses back

as 2 guys talk abut 1 not being good enuff for another, the power f's out in soviet new York

da news sez theres a earthquake and an oil tanker capsized

then theres chaos and people running and going nuts from something

the head of the statue o liberty crashes by them on da street

somehow totally missing everyone

then a building gets f;d and the dust comes

main guys hide in a store

something is out there and f ing new York

they go out and the city looks like h-ll

well... it IS new York

looks like escape from new York with the burning f'd-ness

camera guy sez he got it on tape and we see this chick on da subway

they decide to get outta soviet new York

this is turning into the warriors

as they near a bridge 1 guy gets a phone call

then da bridge gets f'd out and they run as it crumbles

oh, I think 1 of em bit it

a news report shows a big creature with small things falling off it coming to life and attacking people

also 1 guy gets a call from a chick who sez shes trapped in her apartment as it collapsed on her

I think its the girl he b0ned

then the military opens fire on this unseen thin and they run as the giant monster goes overhead and the area blows as they get underground

when da empty subway phone guy gets a call and tells his mom his homie bit it

so they walk own the subway tracks

on da ay they mention someone found a fish they thought was long extinct

and maybe this thing attacking is from a crevasse or trench

or another planet

what s this? war of the worlds with tom a55 cruise?!

on the walk in da subway 1 guy mentions a guy who set fire to hoboes in da subway

also theres rats

da lights go out so they use night vision on a camera

they see the monster parasite things it dropped b4 attacking em

they get out into a light area and close a door on em

1 gurl got wounded by it with a bad a55 hole in her back

that'll be a bad a55 scar

scars are cool

so they move on and the military finds em

1 guy tells about the b0ned girl trapped in da building but army man sez dat place is f'd

also the bit girl starts going f'd and leaking blood

they take her to a tent and she blows apart in a blood spray

bad a55

like fist of the north star

she aint gonna be in cloverfield 2

army guy gets em out and sez the gov is gonna let manhattan go

good

they otta nuke that place

also if the main guys can get to a chopper they can be saved

outside they see a f'd building and its the girl he b0neds place

its leaning against another building art an angle

so they go up the straight building and jump to the crooked one

they get to her apartment and shes damaged

 a rebar through her upper torso

they pull her off it and get her out but the giant monster is coming

I gotta say they did good camera work as it keeps the action in frame and shows what it needs to while looking like a guy with a pocket cam shot it

they go in the straight building but a parasite thing is in it and they fight and get by it

they get out and da monaster f's da buildings around em as choppers fly over

they get to da choppers and get split up

as they fly they see the military blowing the creature from above

but it jumps and takes out da chopper

they go down and we see just wreckage as da military sez theyre gonna blow the place

they all somehow survived

then planes fly past em and attack

and right behind em is da monster

they never noticed that colossal abomination so close to em

it eats camera guy and drops him

btw t looks sorta like da thing from super 8

same universe?

hey hide but its coming and we hear the battle outside

this is kinda like da blair witch project

they record last messages to whoever finds da footage and the place blows

then the footage they recorded over is them at cony island saying they had a good day

the end

that was pretty good

not too long

good acting

good effects

too bad its widescreen

but it wasn't too bad

I liked this

its a survival story with sci fi and mystery

I think it works

its not super awesome but its a good serious monster movie focusing on the effects of an attack instead of pseudo science.

sorta like the 1st Godzilla

plus mentioning going to japan was a good subtle nod to this

its not too violent and only minor reference to b0ning

except that girl bursting in 1 scene

for cloverfield 2 I want it to be years later and the monster has fully taken over new York. the army is keeping the boarder safe and the parasite things it dropped have grown into Invid like creatures that are sentient. those in new York are now slaves to em and many have grown to like it and side with the monsters. the 2 who went to cony island were found and rebuilt with cyborg parts and the girl who was bit and blew open in the 1st movie is rebuilt as a mostly cybernetic body. they plan on using a gravity generator to crush new York by turning he gravity up on it.  but some traitors to the human race are siding with the monsters and try to sabotage it. so they gotta defend it from parasite people and human traitors with cybernetic abilities and vehicles that they plug their cyber parts into. no. they gotta clear out the areas to plant the gravity generator parts of those groups. also its a 16 bit sega genesis, super nes and Atari jaguar beat em up game where you play as either one or more of couple, the burst girl or a parasite wjo turned on his kind after not fitting in, and beat the bad guys apart into a splattery burst. its up to 4 players and has equipable mech suits that boost your power for a time.