Sunday, December 16, 2018

Popeye Review

note; my spelling is as clear as popeyes talking
this is my reviee on popeye from 1980
its got robin Williams from Jumanji and I think the chick from the shining (shelly duvall)
its got wayne robinson who was mike hammer in the red green show and linda hunt who was the Asian midget in the year of living dangerously
its directed by Robert altman who did M*A*S*H* the movie
huh, it made like 60 million $ and cot like 20$ million
I never saw much popeye
but I recall being at my grandma's house in he early 90s and seeing the one where he throws a tiger at a tree and it makes a dartboard
then throws a rhino and it goes in the center
at the time I thought "did he kill that cat?"
back in da 30s, popeye almost was the 1st feature length cartoon
but Disney did it with snow white
I saw his mini films from Fleisher and thought they were great
so it starts with a b/w cartoon with popeye saying hes in da wrong movie
then live action credits to a boat in a storm
oh and Disney had a hand in this film
shou;ld've mentioned it sooner
then its daytime and in this actually made village instead of bad cgi the people sing
so popeye lands his boat and is taxed for docking
he also pushes a piano a bit and it flies back up like 15 feet
and he finds a pipe on da ground
popeye rents a room at a place and the owners daughter is olive oyl
she shows him his room and accidentally f's it up
later they have dinner and they meet the other characters
olive keeps bashing everything as ugly
like that goddess of destruction in dragin ball super
also all these little things popeye mutters are really entertaining
oh and Bluto runs the town while the commodore is out
commodore 64 or the one from that mr rogers opera about spoon mountain?
later its curfew and Bluto yells lights out and they all go out
what is this? the soviet union??
the next day they sing bout food
and wimpy keeps gypping people for burgers
I think hes an addict
popeye tells wimpy hes looking for his dad wjos lost in a storm or something
then some guys hassle popeye over his looks and speech
but when they bash his dad he gets p-ssed
they have a cartoony forcing everyone else to say sorry and then fight really cartoony
I love it
popeye kicks a55
I want an R Rated Popeye movie where he punches holes in people and its full of bones and guts. Medically accurate Popeye!
huh, Bluto was played by a guy from midnight express
and this was rated 12+ in Norway
buncha candy a55es
wouldn't be surprised if this was banned from new Zealand
they cant handle power rangers
are they allowed to watch care bears?
no heart is pretty scary to 6 year olds
later popeye goes to a gathering but its too high brow for him and he leaves
he talks to himself back and forth about being at the party like I do
later olive is in 1800s undies and sings about her bf
she likes how hes large
its Bluto
holy cr-p we're almost 40 mins in
that felt like nothing
everyone fears the big buff beardo bulto
hes like Uyghur from fist of the north star/Hokuto no ken
later olive meets opope and she gets confused and spins
taxman ants her to pay for impersonating a traffic cop but don't cuz he sees its olive
when popeye asks why hes charged a question tax
but as hes with her he gets off
maybe this is the soviet union
she chats with poipeye about his dad and they hear a snake
watch out for snakes!
but its actually a baby with a rattle
its mom cant look after him so she gave it away
what if a purvo found it and raised it to be his butt slave??
also Bluto is malcontent over olive not being there and busts the place apart like its dbz
they make it to the party and Bluto beats popeyes a55
also he taxes olives fam 121212.12$
its like when oh bba mma gave an extra hard time to non liberals in tax season
so popeye names the baby sewwtpea
also oxblood oxheart the big hairless boxer who's totally not axel hawk from king of fighterts/fatal fury comes inif u can last 1 round u get a few days tax free and all 15$$
olives brother castor faces him to save the fam
but just like ss3 goku vs bebi vegeta, his blows do nothing
oxheart (totally not ox king from dbz) kicks his a55 out of da ring literally
so popeye faces him and like ss4 goku vs bebi vegeta, dominates
ox a55 punches popeye in da face but to no effect
the popeye finishes him
later popeye and oline grow closer over the baby
later they go to the horse races and its all artificial with toy horses and cr-p
later wimpy uses the baby to choose races and wins a buncha cash
what year is this?
popeye don't want the baby used for gambling but olive wins him over as they need cash
then popeye sings about how I yam wat I yam
its actually fun
he even does a dance
later he takes da baby as he don't like em using it for gambling
later popeye leads a revolt against the tax man and everyone cheers
its like 1776
but wimpy gets da baby
later olive sings a song about how popeye needs her
later popeye reminisces about the baby and writes a letter and throws it in a bottle in the ocean
right after he threw it, the shot of his place was like a weird german expressionist thing
later olive gets wimpy to reveal he gave the baby to the Bluto
and Bluto wants the commodore is gonna use its psychic future seeing powers to make cash
oh and I think the commodore is popeyes dad
oh and hes got a buried treasure
bluito ties up dad and olive tells popeye
popeye goes in and I gotta say they really got robin wlliams to be good as popeye
he was a good actor
shelly duvall is perfect as olive oyl and the rest of the cast is a great match
popeye meets is dad who denies being his dad but popeye loves him
man they both are so alike
I wonder if he's inbred
his name is poopdeck pappy
his name is poop
to prove hes papys kid popeye has to eat spinach
but popeye don't like it (like the 1st few comix)
so he frees pappy and bluto gets olive oyl and the baby and drive away in a boat
so popetew chases to some island
scab island
it looks like where he fought Sinbad in the 30s
Bluto takes em to a cave and gets the treasure and theres a giant octopus in it
popeye faces Bluto but gets slugged out and a55 kicked
pappy gets da treasure
then b/p swordfight
but the tentacles come for da baby
its boat sinks but a hook and pulley saves it
in the treasure chest is spinach and mementoes of popeye as a baby
then the tentacles get olive oyl
is this la blue girl??
pappy throws popeye spiniace but he don't want it
so Bluto forcefeeds him nd dumps him underwater to bite it
but popeye went super Saiyan 5 and easily takes out Bluto
then beats on the octopus and slugs it away
then they sing pop eyes white dagon's theme song as robin willoiasms dances
the end
holy cr-p dennis franz was in this
this is b4 he became ron Jeremy
so this was a fun film
its upbeat, cheerful, lively, entertaining and just enjoyable
they really got the cartoony comic style down
critics hated it but I thought it was good
it came out around when flash Gordon from 1980 came out and both got hate but were loved by fans
its just a good fun happy movie
for popeye 2 I want the baby's parents to come for him but they are sea daemons which explains his psychic powers. also they take the baby to atlantis and want to raise it as an enemy of humans as they hate how humans poop in the sea. so popeye has to go after em to save the kid. the id has more psychic power than any of the sea people as it was selectively bred to be the best. also popeye uses magic spinach to breathe under water and goes to beat the sea daemons up to save his kid. its also a 16 bit beat em up like death and return of superman with you as popeye and instead of flying you swim.

No comments:

Post a Comment