Lady Of The Lake Review

 Note; i spell unlady like, and not just cuz i gotta d0ng

The Lady Of The Lake

diss iz ma re vew of da lady of da lake from the distant future year to President Jefferson Davis of 1928(70 years before the Global Civil War in Robotech)

Iyts baSED ON A PEOM BY f off caps lock, go inject youirself with liquid aids

its based on a poem by Walter Scott from the distant futre year (To Columbus) of 1810 (200 years before the 1st Robotech War and Japanese Tranbsformers Season 3)

Its directed by James Anthony FitzPatrick who did over 300 fiulms and i never saw 1

It sttars Percy Marmont from No Orchids For Miss Blandish, Benita Hume from the 30s The Private Life of Don Juan, Lawson Butt  from p0rbn0 I mean the 20s Dante's Inferno, and a buncha 1800s guys i never saw in anythging

i think my dad read me the classics illustrated comic in the turn of the century but i never saw the film b4

s0 after title and director, we get texzt sayinmg in the start of the 1600s, king james 05 of soviet scottland feuded with the Dpouglass family(like Michael Douglas? The REAL one who was Batman for Tim Bureton, not kirk douglas's son who stole his name in the film actors guild)

the douyglass's were exiled and 1 escapee to the highlands with his daughter(like Lot in The Bibl;e? That didn't end well!) and got protection from roderick douglass of the clan alpine

then in loch katrine this guy in a cape wal;ks around and is james fitz james a knoght of snowdoun(Like that guy who revealed president husseins evil and esacaped to the ussr to avoid execution and parts removal like manly brad?)

he sees a chick in a boat and btw, this is 28 so its got music and has that 40s style

the chick ks ewllen and is the douglas jr who was exiled and os looking for her dad

she sees james and is gonna book it but james sez he hunted a deer and lost his horse and wound up here

she invites him to her highlander home and drives him there in a boat but there, rodericks guasards nearly icev him

she stops em anbd sez hes not a spy and he throws down his sword and and they tie him up and bering him in

btw they all tALK in rhyme

so rods mom is told by main chick(i fdoirgot her name) thatjames is noit a spy and she sez wait til rods back

so rod comes back from fd ing up the area like mad max dudes with his droogs and mom sez to el;led the main chick that rod is gay for her

the musaic has bagpipes and singing

ellenb unties james as the clan comes and he gets his blade and thety run offand boat away

so soilent rod comes by and finds the james escasped and james and ellen land on land

james wanbts to save ellen fromthjose devolved scots and sees her like an innocent flower but she sez her dad is exiled and she's under it too

he sez to get the king to do ssomething of it and she goes back and rod sez he f'd up a few saxon towns

\hes trying to impress her with violence to win her,. like Shin in okuto No Ken

he asks ifd she styoll loves malcome graeme and her dad comes in with malcome wqhos rods rival

she hugs herr dad and smooches malcom as dad sez malcome saved his lkife and should not be malcontent for ellen

at dinner therod is disgruntled and sez the kings spuies found he has a douglas and he's protect em if ellen is his woman

ellen agrees to save her daddy and ddad sez no and malcome tells offf rod wjho strangles him like bart simpson

i think douyglas ends his defencce with rod i mean the other way and malcome from Syperhumamn Samurai Syber Squad goes off

ellen goes afrter him and they smoochg aND RIDE OFF IN A BOAT

f off caps lock, get b0ned dead by a moose, like kirby morrow, as the OD was a cover up

so they get to land and spies of the regentsee malcom and catch him as ellen goes off as theres a rewartd fir his capture

james i thin meets a guy, i think dad, and they reveal they hate the rod and spewnd the night together in a clean friendly way that modern day people wpould think they were b0ning

then we see dad comforting ellen at the camp and she goes up and cryus in bed

the next day sghe sees a statue of Mary and sjhe prays and at the p[lace james and daD SLEPT, they get up

i think the dad at jims is axctuallly rod and asks how jim thinks of rod

jimmy sez he wants to face him and his droogs and rod sez as you wish and his men pop up from the plants

rod reveals himself and sends back his goons, but sez; fear not, ur my guest

then they go to stirling castle and jim i think wants to buy malcomes freedom

in the castlke the rod reunites with malcom i think anbd they head back and on the way there, rod wants a duel\

afyter asking if theres another way, and being told no, malcom fights and beatys rod but spoares him

then wounded riod grabbples with malcom like school kidsa fighting

rod pulls a knife and he f's out possibly dead

at da castle we see rod and malcom standing and a guyt in a hggat rteads from a scroll

she asks mr hat and he sez only da king can hAVE EM live and sghe wants to see da king

she goos iun the castkle abnd its like robvinhood meets shakespeare and fionds fitz james and asks to see the king

he sez da kings in the banquet hgall and whjen they go oin its revealed james fitz james is da king

she asks for mercy and the rod i think, maybe da dad, and malcome come in

king fitz james forgives the feud with douyglas and lets malcom mcafrica live  as elens indenturewd servant

ellen smooches ian malcom and we get singing

the end

that was pretty good

nice mild love and honor story

wasn't there cross burning in the book?

but this was a good story anbd the regent going out to slum with commoners wasa like Queen Christiuna with Greta Garbo

it wasn';t a big epic hiugh octane adventuere of stunts and effects

it didn't need to be, its a classic story

I liked it and its only like 41 mins

For The Lady Of The Lake 2 I want the roderick clan to gather followers under a new ruler and lead an uprising against King James, So James and his guard go off to bring it to em in a series of battles. Also the new ruler is revealed to be a daemon who gives his people black powers that let them fight against the Kingsmen and the Kingsmen need to get Holy Weapons to slay him and them. Its also a 16 bit Srpg like Warson/Langrisser on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, GBA and Atari Jaguar