The War Of The Gargantuas Review

Note; i spell gargantic

The War of the Gargantuas

This is Ore Sammas No Review of The War Of The Gargantuas from the distant future year, to Lon Chabney, of 1966(around 60 years before Transformers Zone)

Its dirtectal by Ishiro Honda who did the 54 Godzilla/the 546 Rodan and a buncha Kaiju films I aint seen

its a sequel to Frankenstein vs. Baragon aka Frankenstein Conquers the World, which I don't think Mary Shelly would approve of

Then again, I'm not sure the wqriter of Jpurney To The West would like Dragon Ball, esp Super

its loved byTim Burtoin,. gueilmo del toro, James Rolfe and quenton tartentino andf inspired a lot of others

It stars Russ Tamblyn from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers/Tom Thumb/West Side Story/How the West Was Won/Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold/Joan of Arcadia, Kenji Sahara ffrom Godziulla 54/56 rodan/The H Man, Jun Tazaki from Kwaidan, Haruo Nakajima from Seven Samurai/Godzilla/Rodan/The H Man/Yojimbo, and manty I don't recall from anything

I saw some of this but never start to end

wtf its 16+ in soviet finland, 15+ in candy a55 sweden, 12+ in france/P{{ortugal/West Germany, and G in Am,erica

Buncha candya55 countries!

So after Tojo =Loho and a title that clearly says Frankenstein Vs Baragon, but has subs saying War of the Gargantuas, we get credits over a stormy sea in japanese

aw gay, its widescreen, what a mistake

so on this stormy sea boat, this tentacle comes in and a sea man fights it

is that a real tentacle? they did good effects if not

so then this huge a55 octopus comes in and grabs em, then leaves

wait, its fighting a sasquatch thing

how deep is that water? this things standing up in it asnd the octopus is in it

so sasquatch starts wrestling the boat aND latetr this guy is in th e hospital

a ocasst guard guy come in to see him and the gguy sez "monster" and they say he was tyhe only survivor or a 5 man crew near shore

so the coast ghaurd looks at the ship and a diver found 0 bocies bnut a piece of fabric

so they grill the survuiivor on what he saw and he sez this green monster grabbed em

as this happened after franksentins monster f';s japan, you'd thuink the authorities wqould believe him

so then the coast guyard found the crews clothes offshore and thers no tooth marks

so 1 guy calls about a frankenstein thing and gets this chick scientist and she gets russ who sez the freankenstien thery raised years ago died on mt fuji long ago

then more guys come in to ask about his monster and he sez frankenstein cant live under water and dont attack boats or et people

girl sez he wouldnt attack hamns and is gentle, then we see this teddy beat monster being examined by sceintists and fed

wait it was flashback

so they said he never harmed a human and was killed on my fuji

yes, but what you mean human?

the unborn dont count as human life in soviet canada, and the slaves were 3/5th a man in the past

also in canada, women weren'ty considered "persons" until 29, or after we got taling pictures

later thewse guys are on a boat and see something under water and the dad freaks out and falls in

itys kinda freaky

later these people are pulling z rope by the beach and see thing giant sasquacth in the sea

rthe papers say its a frankensteion the lab raised and they say its not him and if he was alive, hed be in the hills

so they go out there and the coast guard or suits or w/e, i dont know ehosd what, look at busted boats with claw marks on em

they find a sea animal membrane and its different than frankenstien

so the lab monkeys go up the high hills and lok for a creatures footprints

they find em again and go back to da lab and where they say this creature casn live underwater

then a jet comes over and this sasquatch is seen by the city and the peope spazz out, wait, its an airp0rn0 port

so the monster bustss buyildings and it looks like good power rangers an dhe grabs a chiock outta one and eats her like itsa Rampage on GBC

thje sun comes out from da clouds and he spazzes out and runs to the ocean

is he dracula too?

the reporters, who are often the bad guys, grill russ and nerds about if its their frankenstrien and he sez its not and hes going to tokyo

on da train he talks with chick about why their deviolved guy would eat people and he sez it might be another frankenseitfm

idera; frankensodom1 thge p0rn0! But john Wayne Bobbit did franken pea ness

so the suits say the monster is sensitive to bright lights and russ sez he plans to continue on his experoiments on cell cr-p

so the russ sez he cant leave until he learns if da cells are self regenerating and thinks of if frankenstien got into the city

everyone knows frankenstein weasd the dr who made the monster and the monster had no name

its like saying the main guy in yugioh is yugioh, or rather, the summoned skull is yugioh as hes used my the main guy and is a daemon

so then this chick is singing ast a club and the monster grabs her and when the lgiths come on, it spazxzes out and drops her and vanishes

russ hears on the radio and he/.chick go out and the military readies its forces for the creature

so they monbster sees a busted ip area and the army turns on lights as he goes for some farm pugs and he runs

eventually the military fires on him with talks and he bursts with flames and smoke

its pretty bada55 and they didnt need compuiters

so he grabs a tank and throws it into the hhouse which is aroudn the same soze somehow ands throews more and they burst

so the suits say they got plans to herd it into the ravine and attack from both ends

kinda like with that ep of Beast Machines

so in the day the military sends guys in the woods and later the monster busts through a brighe with its legs

the military has these big plastic faking beign metal geings and a ferw big energy beam weapons ready and when the monster gets near, chpoppers go by and it waves at em seming afraid

giood acting and emotion on it, the actor did well, as did the make up

so it brigns down the choppers and they blow in fire and 1 chopper lures him closer so they use the microwave cannons

it keeps its leg in the beam and spazzes it w/o moving it despirte it cxausing pain and the microwave beams like mandarks thing on the axe monster in dexters lab fitre on it as it spazzes aorund in the trees

evantually it gets to da water and gets shicked by it and spazzes out but then another big a55 sasqyatch comes in looking meaner

the calls were coming from inside the hosue!

he takes the busted one off to the woods and they dont fire on it for some reason

it roars and is kinda freaky and reminds me of people who heard sasqyuacth in the woods and vanishes in the trees

russ hears and chick sez its their frankenstin and he wants to prove its harmless

later the russ goes out and chick is there and they check the trees the monster f';;d and the military comes in

russ tells em to focus on the green monster who needs water to live

also russ had to dub over his own voice like f==king Tommy Wiseau cuz the audio queered out and they lost it

so the fuull life monster helpsa the devolved looking one by splashing waer on ti and when a copper comes, they hiode, 1 in da water 1 in the trees

in da lab they say the monstrers are sililar and might be bros

russ sez the green one is an offshoot of the brown one that lives off plankton and the military thinks it might make more of em grow idf they blow em apart

militarty guy suggests suffocating em and later russ sez how in ww2 the Germansd went to paris and the young were less fearful as they didnt think theyd be in danger

so the chicks in the woods and dudes too run seeing a monster and 1 chick in think the scinece chick is stuck in a valley and russ goes to save her

then the monsters come out of the rock wall and the waity its the brown one not the devolved green water one and she tries to get it to remember herbut it ghoes off

she sez it saved her life nwhich i was typing and missed and she wants general military guy no to ice it as its good but general t r edwards dont agree

then borown one sees something and goes to fight green one and its pretty bada55

greeen gets away and busts through town as people run

the military attacks but its now immume to light and likes itm somehow

then its day and the greed goes to da sea as the brown follows

russ sez the brown one never harmeds anyone and theres no evidence of it buty the military sesz" they bros, they can be both bad"

russ sez to catch and study em so they dont grow new ones from parts blown off

so the alarm sounds and the people turn on the lights so the military evacuates the area

the military wants to cut the powerr but it would trap the people in the subway, then the bown comes in andf the chick whos names akemi like in urotsukidoji but they call akiki wants to save the monster

she runs out and russ stops her but changes his mind to help her as it means a lot to her

rus and akemi come in the subway and a monster raches in for ejk so they run

she goes up to see the other one but its the green one and grabs her through the stone ceiling, then drops her after seeing its brother

russ carrys off akemi and the monsters face off with brown trying to help and green going ape

akemi survived falling 40 feet onto stone and russ sez briown saved her again

green attacks bwporn and brown shoves him into a bukilding and its filmed kinda slo omto fake being big

russ calls miliotaty general and sez to guve brown a chance for saving akemi and he sez no

tanks come in and blast greens a55 but many shots hit the building behind it

green throws cr-p at the military and busts buildings and runs and brown follows as the microwave means come

green is freakin out and brown trys to calm him like wehen a guys bro is a junkie and needs to be fixed

brown stomps on i mean is stomped on by green and thrtows him over and they grapple and bust buildings

the microwave beams come in and zsap green and they battle and bust more buildings

its like King of the Monsters by SNK on Sega Genesis and Neo Geo

so they go in the sea and fight and green gets zapped andthrows a big a55 boat and swim off

at da hospital akemi gets treated and russ tells her the monstwers are vanished into the boundless abyss that is the sea

choppers find em and dropcr-p on em to bust em and a volvano comesup in the ocean for no reason

the monsters fight and this hole in da earths a565 starts b0ning i mean sh-tting on em

russ tells akemi that ms togami wasnt a monster and didnt tendtacle her, jk rtealkks that niothing could have survived the volcano, even though there's no body and i've seen enough horror moives to know that means he's still around

then we see the boiling sea and the end kanji comes up

ther end

that was quite good

nice action and heart and feeling and good moments of just movement without constant jabber

kinda like a silent film

good emotion and expression from the kaiju and and well done effects

the monsters looked kinda scary and i can see people being afraid of this, esp is they saw sasquatch

i never saw frankenstein conquers the world but this was a good movie on its own

i hear russ tamblyn didnt like this making it but grew to love it

its pretty cool and i can see whyso many guys enjoyed it

For The War Of The Gargantuas 2 I want the monsters to have been fused into a multiheaded, multilimbed abo ination by the volcano and it is inside the hollow earth dfrom going in the volcano and fightin underground abominations in their wicked city that looms like buckaroo banzaio ships, also its a 128 bit city destoryer game on Sega Dreamcast, GameCube, XboX and PS2 where you fight in their under realm and bust em up and fdace their mech suits they made that are big enough to face the monsters.