Friday, November 11, 2022

The Hunt For Red October Review

 Notw: I spell dead not red

TRhe Hunt For Red October

Tjhis is mny Review for The Hunt For Red October from ther distant future year (to Zee Kaiser) of 1990(20 years before the 1st Robotech War)

Its basd on a book I never read by Tom clancy and was directal by John McTiernan who did Predator 01/Die Hard 001/Last Action Hero 01/Die Hard with a Vengeance

It stars Sean Connery from Zardoz/The Wind and the Lion/Highlander 001/The Untouchables/Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade/Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves/Dragonheart/The Avengers/Finding Forrester/The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, back door Alec Baldwin from Beetlejuice/Great Balls of Fire!/Mercury Rising/Pearl Harbor/Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within/The Adventures of Pluto Nash/The Cat in the Hat/The Aviator/The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/The Boss Baby/The Alamo: Thirteen Days to Glory/soviet Saturday Night Live/The Simpsons/The Fairly OddParents/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Joss Ackland from Watership Down/Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey/The Mighty Ducks/da 90z Miracle on 34th Street/My Giant, Tim Curry from The Rocky Horror Picture Show/Home Alone 2: Lost in New York/Congo/FernGully: The Last Rainforest/The Rugrats Movie/Rugrats in Paris: The Movie/the 80s Paddington Bear/Fox's Peter Pan and the Pirates/Tiny Toon Adventures/The Pirates of Darkwater/Captain Planet and the Planeteers/Darkwing Duck/the jim henson Dinosaurs/Batman: The Animated Series/Mighty Max/Eek! The Cat/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/Duckman/Sonic the Hedgehog Sat AM/Aladdin the 90s cartoon/Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad/The Mask: The Animated Series/Gargoyles/Mighty Ducks/Jumanji/Quack Pack/Bruno the Kid/Freakazoid!/Casper/Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego/The Wild Thornberrys/Voltron: The Third Dimension/Hey Arnold!/The Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot/Johnny Bravo/Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain/Batman Beyond/Redwall: Mattimeo/Samurai Jack/Loonatics Unleashed, Peter Firth from Equus(h0rse p0rn0e)/The Rescuers Down Under(had a nsaked chick in 1 frAME)/Pearl Harbor (had alec haldwin and ben aff-ck)/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (like p0rn0e), Scott Glenn from Apocalypse Now/The Silence of the Lambs(f--kin ghey)/Backdraft/The Virgin Suicides/Vertical Limit/Training Day/Freedom Writers, the wonderful jim jones aka James Earl Jones from Dr. Strangelove/Star Wars/Exorcist II: The Heretic/Conan the Barbarian/Coming to America/Naked Gun 33+1⁄3: The Final Insult/The Lion King/Judge Dredd/Fantasia 2000/Scary Movie 4/Driving Miss Daisy/Highway to Heaven/The Simpsons/Garfield and Friends/Law & Order/Touched by an Angel/Frasier/The Big Bang Theory, Jeffrey Jones from Amadeus/Ferris Bueller's Day Off/Howard the Duck/Beetlejuice/Stuart Little/Sleepy Hollow/Duckman/Eek! Stravaganza/Batman: The Animated Series/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/The Zeta Project, The Zeta Project, Richard Jordan from Logans run/Dune,, Sam Neill from Omen III: The Final Conflicta cRY iN THE dARK//Jurassic Park 01/03/06/ The 94 live action The Jungle Book i hated/Event Horizon/Bicentennial Man, ther evil Stellan Skarsgard from Deep Blue Sea/Exorcist: The Beginning/Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist/Pirates of the Caribbean 02 and 03/Mamma Mia!/The Avengers by marvel, the right honorable Freddie Dalton Thompson froim Thunderheart/Law & Order/svu/trial by jury/criminal intent/ the goofd wife, Courtney B. Vance from Law and Order/The Wild Thornberrys/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/The Spectacular Spider-Man/The Spectacular Spider-Man, Tomas Arana from from The Last Temptation of Christ/The Bodyguard/Gladiator/Pearl Harbor/The Dark Knight Rises/Guardians of the Galaxy/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Justice League Unlimited, Timothy Carhart from Ghostbusters/Desperately Seeking Susan/Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh/Air Force One//Quantum Leap/Law & Order/The Twilight Zone 2002/Touched by an Angel/Judging Amy, Daniel Davis from Highway to Heaven/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/Duckman/Rugrats/Frasier/Gotham, Rick Ducommun from Spaceballs/Die Hard 001/Gremlins 002//Thelast boyn scout/Encino man/Groundhog Day/The Last Action Hewro/SAcary Movie 001/MVP: Most Valuable Primate, Larry Ferguson from The Last Action Hero, Ronald Guttman from SVU/Law and Order/Criminal Intent/The West Wing/The Good Wife/On the Basis of S=x, On the Basis of Sex, anthony peck from the last action hero.Die Hard, die hard with a begnegnce, Ned Vaughn from Apollo 13, Gates McFadden from Labrynth/Star Trek Generations/Party of Five/Family Guy/Peter Jason from Mommie Dearest/The Karate Kid/Prince of Darkness/Arachnophobia(thATS RACISAT AGAINST SPIDERS! wHAT IF I MADE A MOVIE ABOTU MUTANT HYBRID ITALIANO TAKING OVE?!)Marked for Death/Village of the D===ed/Congo/Mortal Kombat 01/The Glimmer Man/Ghosts of Mars/Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom/Batman: The Animated Series/Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman/Pinky and the Brain/Batman Beyond/Jackie Chan Adventures/Desperate Housewives/Gears of War 2/3, and a few others not on candy a55 c-ck suck wikipedia

i never saw this but heard the name often

after logo we get text satying how in 84 this soviet subn went under and had raDIO ACTIVITY AND SOME CREW EWWRE RESCUSED

they its a a soviet base and sean connery is a soviet despite being a scot, which is ciltural appropriation

then hes on a nucular sub and we get title ands creitdss to societ msuic

then john travolta looking alec baldinw says bye to his fam and goes on a mkssion

on da plane he wont sleep as he dont like turbulance and after landing goes to a govb base to meet darth vader from coann

so da red ocvtover is a nucular sub that has a high rank captain in charge and it has special doors on it they dont know what they do

alec wants to show the photoes of it to some guy and jim jones sez 1 guy lost a leg doing something

SO LATER THERES AN Americano sub in the boundless abyss of the sea and looking for cr-p and the black guy is training the newer guy how to sonar

the black guy is all big bang nerdy and into classical music and they sense something ahead

meanwhile, the soviets are spazzing around and cAPTAIN IS told off by a guy who sez he cares for the bible i mean the people and dont care for privacy and readys the bible then switches to English about the guy who made the nuke in the 40s

sean sez he keeps the bible as a memento of his wife and this is his boat but the officer sez the ship belongs to the people of the ussr

sean gets his orders and its in a lock safe and it sez to meet anothe rsub of a guy who sean taught b4 and likes him

officer wants to tell the crew so sean kills him with his bare hands as in an age of technology, the deadliest weapon is the human body

then he bruns the orders and calls the dr and sez "there was an accudent" like ep stein or j fk or diana

then in an americano shipyard they are making a rescue sub and editing it to lock on with any other sub like sonic and saakncukllews

alic worries of what the doors on the red october might unleash and ed roony from ferris buelar sez it miught be a silent probe that sounds like whales bn0ning to sonar

at 12 ed's dad made a nuke shelter as the sovciets put nukes in commie cuba and this soviet guy might do worse

tim curry from 90s cr-p sez they cant go on w/o a gov guy and political officer and sean takes his nuke key and gives it to himself for the others to see

tim worries about this as now 1 man can fire nukes instead of 2 and as theres radio silence ordered, they cant call back

the Americano Subbo get a fax machine post and it sez there sa new sub

there being 2 keys and 1 having both is like the zelda 870s cartoon with the triforce

seanconners tells his orders to the crew and sez they are going against the Americans and have the edge now like with the sputnik

they do the silent drive and are gonna slip past their own fleet who dont know what they can do and will sneak past the Americans to go to their space and do missile drills

when the silent drive jet starts the american sub detects a blip and the soviets sing societ songs

the black guy sez the soviet sub vanished and he heard singing

in zee ussr, this guy whos a big high rank homie comes in and gets a letter from marko ramias and drops his vodka

alec baldwin, who is gonna get into p0rmn0 and be phalec baldwin, gets a call and meets jim jones and is told the soviets have silent propilsion working

they go to see the prez's secrutity advicor and phalec has to tell them what the sub can do as he knows it best

he tells em this huge a55 sub thats as big as an aircradft carrier has silent engines that their captain ramias whos sean connery is doing it and can be undetected by their systems

just use  psycjics or ki sense to detect them

the americans used psychuc spuies in the cold war

then the sovies are sending a buncha subs across the atlantic and none in the good ocean and it could be an exercise

also seans wifes uncle is there iin the meeting room i think or maybe not but alec recognices him on a photo or w./e

so the gov wants to sink the red october and alec realizes somethign and sez "yuu sunnova b-==ch!" and says sean might wanna defect as hes lithuwanian and has no fam in the ussr

also he has trained  a lot of soviets whos loyal to him and its the 1 year since his wife got iced

the politician there clears the room and tells off phalec over his ideas and wait, he sez i mean asks what to do about it

phalec sez to try an inspection and try to help them and contact sean as phalec actually met him b4

pohalec is given 3 days to prove it or the gov will end sean connery and policiosticn dont wanna risk his own men

so da soviets are told they gotta sink the rewd octioober and the crewof the red octoober worry that the gov agent is murdered and the crew might mutrany

sean sez after reacbning the new world, Cortez burned his ships and hes going all the way and isnt worried

also sean sent a message in his letteer to the soviet high status guy and i think it said hes defecting and his men dopnt like that as they'd be onto em, but he nows what the sovietys doo

black guy managed to use the sonar or w/e to anaylze the sound the silent running thing did and by running it at 10x speed, he found what it was and can track it

with adds its like an hour in, that felt like nothing

so he figures its heading for iceland  coast and the maga displacement he scanned was actually the soviet silent sub

so fred dalton thompson from law and order ez trhey gotta make it so the soviets dont think they got the sub and dont start ww3 like people saidf back door biden would

after phalec leaves , fre dsez pjhaelc got f'd in a chjopper accident and spent years relearning how to walk and was in traction for a year so hes a good fighyer

so the soviets go on and recalculate their route and the sean overdid the nucular reactors to overload so to give em a break, they go to propellors

so a soviet party memnber goes to the ameircans and sez their sub went missing and it has many sons  of high rank party members and needs America to rescue trhem

the american counterpart agrees to a joint rescuer mission and by iceland is a soviet anti sub craft

theres a sub nearing them and it gets close and near the break wait its heading for the weall of rock, and they turn close and a torpedo heading for them misses them and hits the wall

this huge slow moving metal d0ng gradually turning was made to be action packed

sean thinks someone sabutages the boat and to be on guard and phalec wonders how to make a crew wanna get off a nucular sub

phaelec sees that the soviets are trying to send the red october to the sovioet subs near them and ambush him

also this was only rated pg in america but was 13+ in  artgentina/malasia/phillieones/taiwan/trkey as they are candy a55 c=lk suckers

you dont NEED to make it r rated or even pg13 to be good, tell a story, dont worry about the age limits

so plhalec balwdin wants to get on the sub chasing red ovtober and a plane slams into the carrier phalec is on and he's sent out in a chopper to the americano sub with the black guy from law and order criminal intent

the head of the amewricano sub saez he saw a mermaid,. a shark ean an octopus and never a phantom soviet sub

hje saw a f=-=kin mermaid?! thats a story to follow!

seran is told the crew knoes of the sabotager and are scared and they are soviets so thats somnething

sam neil ants to live in amnerica and marry an American woman and raise rabbits and drive a pick up truck and drive from state to state and is surpirzed san sez he dont need papers to do so

sam also wants a 2nd wife and to live in arizona but rudy vlaentino was arrwssted for that and was mo lested in jail

the amceican sub sees something and worried of bumping nto the societ sub

sean goes on about his past and how his woman bvit it when he was at sea and i assume hshe was iced by the societs

so phaelc baledon is lowered on to the sub by a harness in a cold storm and falls in the artic sea

so after somehow getting him up they bring him in and he looks like david schwimmer all devolved like that by the water

the sovuet party guy tells his american compriority and sez sean is gone nuts and is gonna attck with missiles and the soviuets want the americans to end him

phaelic balwdin whos jack ryan tells em that the ship guys are gonna defect and b4 he tells da captain, the captyain is gonna fight the sub

also in the book was the brit navy involved but here they cleaned it up so none of those candya55es with devolved teeth ruin this film

violence jack archer i mean ryan i mean baker i mean ryan tells captain that sean is gonna defect and the soviets want him dead and he know him and tells capotain not to end sean

jackie ryano sez saen always turns left at some time and the sub starts tu turn and both subs prepart to fire on each other

sean tells his men to ready the tubes but not to open the doors and ready the computer

the americans see hes not opened the doors to fire and they rise to the surface

jackson polack sends a message to sean asking if hes gonna use missiles and sean respondes with a singhle ping to acknlowege

jack-oh sends a message to go to this place and jack sez he didnt klnow sean would turn left but had a 50/50 chance at a guess

sean sends a 1 ping to replay i mean replyu and heads for this abyssal oplace

this 1 soviet guy on there dont like this and sabotages the ship so a smoke alarm goes off

wait its a nucular damage and its irradiating the shiup and they have 4-6 hours so they gotta evacuate

tim curry from the mighty ducks and mighty max sez there wassabotage an sean sez "Who mentioned sabutage?" so they ditch the ship

arent they irradiated? if they go on wont they poison others?

nucular aids!

so another ship is heading for them and itd an american frigate

the soviets leave the ship in rafts and a torpedo is firted and said to have hit the red octovber and sank it

as the soviets come across in rafts the americano sub goes to see the soviet one and its freakin huge!

like the dfg 1 or something from robotech!(i mean sdf 1)

its like comparing a cycloine to a zentraedi!

so the american sub links to the soviet one like sonic 2 and sonic and knuckles and they hammer the lip and it opens and they go in

best idea; audio for the sonic and knuckles lock on technolkogy and video of a b0-ner heading for a butt!

violkecne jack goes on the ship and meets the soviets and 1 offers falec baldwin a smoke

baack in soviet poland, my grandpa smoked european faegs, but didn;'t liek american ones so he quit after coming tyo the 1st world. died of heart failure

phaelic baldwin and sean talk in each others languages and phaelic sez he remembers him from a dinner

sean asks why fire on them and he sez to keep up the illusion of being enemies and he guessed that their reactor accident was false

it was false and he got lucky and sean asks for assuylum to america and more torpedoes are heading for em

its the invid! they'vbe come for the protoculture!

so the americans stay on the soviet sub and the rescue sub detaches and sean weants jack to help

jack sez he only writes books for the agency of intelligence and isnt a naval officer and sean uses him anyway

sean sez to do right 3 1 5 and captain of american sub sez dont and it turns out its right in the tordpoedos path

gotta say, this is more exciting than a star wars battle as this is good tension and drama, instead of a cgi mess of lasers and asplosions

sean asks what jack wrote and he sez a bio on admild halsey and sean sez "i read that, u were all wroing"

as sean headed toward the torpedo, it hit b4 it could arm itself and came apart, so now the enemy is gonna disable the safety of his torpedoes

the american ship cant  fire on the soviets w/o authorization and the red october has to dface this on its own

then someone opens fire on them in the sub and they dont see who and sam neil gets it in the chest

if only he was raspiutin and could survive, or teddy roosevelt, he walked off a bullet

the sabotager went to the missiale bay and is gonna blow themn all to h e doubel soviety england

sean and jack go after him and captan gives sean a firearm

sean takes one in the shoulder and jack goes in with the nukes as the bad guy fires on him

red october goes on and jack goes up on a metal wire floor above the area and drips a light that makes the sabotager fire on him but misses and hits a  pipe that spills cr-p on him

another torpedo is fired and a rescue su draws it away and drops chaffe tio draw and blow it

wait the torpedo went off course and went searching for anothe rtarget

also tis weird 80s cgi

so jack sees the sabotager and its da cook and hes got the wires and is gonna blow em back to h-ll but jack empties his gun into him

rescue sub goes arounf and gets the soviet sub that fired it and the crew on the surface thinks the red october sacriviced itcslt

the soviet party guy thinks the red october went under and says maybe in the future we can salvage it with tehc, aldso anothe rsub went under

the real red october survived and jack archer or ryen has the sean cullen hide it in a river far froim naval bases and sean sez the red october was made to hit America 1st tyo end the conflist

jack and sean talk about their love  of fishing and sean quotes Columbus

phalec balwdin sez "welcomme to the new world" and takes a plane trip and sleeps

the end

that was quite good

nice story and characters

good wreiting and editing

and its got goof action without being a cgi mess of flashing lights and green screen

its partly written by john millius and hes always good

i never knew anything of jack reacher and this was a well made film that has good style and substance

its kinda long but it doesnt feel it like titanic

its mostly clean and has better drama and action than most films today and holds up well

For The Hunt For Red October 2 I want Sean Connory to give the Americans info on the soviets planning a mission to the North Pole to find the Hollow Earth Passage and that's the Real reason the Soviets made the ship. So Sean and Jack go on a mission to get there b4 the soviets and face the WWw2 Germans who stayed up there since the 40s and have maDE A PACT WITH THE DAEMONS WHO LIVE THERE and are working toprepare a counter attack and have been breeding with the daemons there for decades to grow a hybrid species of soldiers and haVE AMOST ENOUGH TO TAKE ON aMERICA and after finding this out, Jacxk and the Soviet Sean go to escape from the north pole area asnd take on soviets and Germans and Hybrids and daemons, A;lso the Sub has a hidden feature to transform into a Mech Forme and Fly asnd Fight. Its ALSO a 16 bit shmup in o mean on sega genesis, snes, tg16, gba and atari jaguar

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