The Cat And The Canary Review

 Notye; I psell better than cATS as all our base belong to him

The Cat and the Canary

this is my revile in The Cat And The Canary from the distant future year (to Marr Shelly) of 1927 (100 years before metropolis and the 1st robotech movie the untold story)

its directed by Paul Leni whois usually good and did Waxworks and The Man Who Laughs in the 20s

It stars Creighton Hale from Orphans of the Storm/Way Down East/The Circle/Santa Fe Trail/Sunset Boulevard/Life with Father/Casablanca/Yankee Doodle Dandy/The Maltese Falcon\Sergeant York, Tully Marshall from the 20s The Hunchback of Notre Dame/Torrent/The Trail of '98/The Hatchet Man/Arsene Lupin/the 30s Scarface/Red Dust/Sergeant York, Gertrude Astor from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/The Wicked Darling, Flora Finch from Orphans Odf the Storm, Arthur Edmund Carewe fdrom Doctor X/the 1927 Uncle Tom's Cabin/Torrent/the 20s The Phantom of the Opera/the 20s The Ten Commandments, Martha Mattox from Torrent, George Siegmann from The Mzn Who Laughs/Uncle Tom's Cabin/The King of Kings/The Red Mill/Scaramouche/Oliver Twuist/Intolerance/The Birth Of A Nation/The Avenging Conscience, Lucien Littlefield from Love Laughs at Andy Hardy/Uncle Toms Cabin/Trrent/The Sheik/The Cheat, and a few 1800s homies i never saw in anything

It got good reviews ansd started the Old Dark House style iof film

I never saw it but hear itrs based on a play

so after cool opening credits of a hand wiping off dust from the tuitle and holes in glass, we get a home of an eccentric milionaire (Snotty Ragsdale?!)that looks like a disney castle meets Metropolis

then it turns to bottles andd sez he was drove nuts by greedy relatiuves like cats after a canary

then we see him in the bopttle area as cats attack and he bites it

his will sez to be opened 25 ywears after he bites it and wwe see a hand take it and puyt 1 dopwn saying its never to be openered if his terms aint met

then for 25 years its said his ghost haunted the area and we getta p o v shot of going through the em,pty place

the night tyhe will was to be read its said something was there and we see a p o v shot of a flashlighty and sa black glove hand opening a safe andf putting a sealed letter in

thenb we see a maid carrying sometyhing going into da safe and b44 sdhe opensd it, a guy comes to da door

he sez hes here to read the will and the heirs didnt show up yes and maid calls him mr crosby

crosby sez she myst be lonely for 20 yearsa here and she sez she dont mind living ones which creeps him out

he goes off and checks the safe and finds a living moth in it which he finds odd as he locked it 20 years ago

he finds 2 letters with thge same seals andasks who was in here and she sez only her and his ghost

he sez no ghost could open the envelopes and only she knows trhe combo

then the door knocks anda guy comds by and tthe door has huge webs on it

he looks like richsard epcar and is alled harry blythe and copsby is his homie whos glad to see him after all this time

colby's prpotoge charlie wilder comes and ios harrys cousin who dontr synbchro wity him but wants to

these chicks come by and dda driver fears da ghosts there

da chickjs are aunt and neive and the neive is blonde and 20s and go through the spooky house

1 guy goes by in his car and the tire pops and he thins its a shot abnd runs in

this guy is paul jones and thinks its a bullet whizzing by him trhat popped

then its midknight and they gotta read da will but annabelle west isnt there, but now arrives

annabelle likes paul and is said to by cyrus west, the billionarres relative

theres a clock that didnt ring since cyrus millionaore bit t and now it does

good use of showing clkock hammers hitting the clock springs to show the bells chiming

they open the letter and 1 reads "my relatives watched my wealth like cats on a canary and it nearly drove him nuts cuz they thoguht him mad"

so his fortune goers to his most distant relkative with the name of west

so annabelle wins and maid gives the other letter to i think annabelle and sez to open it in xyrus's room

some think it sez where the west diamonds are and 1 sez its got an embarrassing condition in the will

a dr names in the wikll (from 25 years ago? is he even alive? the will was wrote b4 WW1!) is to check her out and if she's deemed inmsane, they'd give iot to the one namesd in another envolpoe in cosbrys pocket

aunt bangs her hand on the table and the painting of mailionarte falls over an dwe getta cool camera p o v shot of it

maid creepily takes the paintin off sayiong its an omen something f';s will happewn tonight and auint spazzes out

paul comfoports annabella and she dont trtust the people in the house\

will they make her crazy byu giving her a flu shot and givbiong her autism?

asnnabelle says for maid to make a cup of tea for aunt and i'm thinking as this is the 230s she might prefer some nose candy like sherlock holmes

annabelle goes weith the crosby to discusss the will and they go 2 a room with high chairs and crosby sez shes like her uncle, in a cage sourrounded by cats

in the main room where the tv would go in the 90s, the guys talk and the richard epcar guy, blythe or w/e sez the picture falling measn someones gonna bite it and paul spazzes out and wants to leave

a moustache guy coimes in saying an escaped lunatic is on the looser and hes looking for him as hes either in the house or on the grounds as mustache tracked him to the gates

cosby sez hes gonna lock the doors and windoes and this is turning intoblack chruistmas

But not the Blaxploitation Film about a p-mp who has to stop Santa from turning the black kids White, and in the end invents Kwanza

da nut thinks hes a cat and rips up his victims like canaries, which sounds kinda cannibal

moustache sez no one leaves da house tongiuth i mean tonight and goresd off with bylthe to shearch da house

crosby tells anna that the envolupe that sez who gets the money if shes nuts opened and rad it and might attack her, but he dont read it or show it to her and goews off

as he goes off, a book case opens a bit but closes a few times as he goes by, then returns to tell her

a devolved handf reaches oput and grabs him and pulls him in and when she gets up from the chair he's gone

she tells the people and thinks they think she sounds nuts

she sez he was last seen where paul is and paul spazzes out

aunt sez she's nuts like the millionare and she sez to look for crosby

paul looks under napkins on tables cuz hes a dumba55 and the people think anna is responsible for crosbys vanishing

and they dont see maid and think she iced her too, but maid comes in saying the room is ready

moustache comes in and asks who anna is and is told by the people is their cousin

aint is glad the moustache is there to protect them and the rest lerave and anna is alone in the room

later anna is in her billionares bed whop no one used for 20 years sicne he bit it

imagine if he died bof being b0ned dead and the bed was full of gender fluids and aids?

maid doers a good job of being creepy and leaves her and the other guests go to theirt rooms

this is seeming a lot ike the bat from 26

neice goes out and wait its aunt aND SHE GOES TO NEICES ROOM AND WE GET GOOD SHADOWS BEHIND THEM LIKE IN VAMPYR FROM THE 30S

f off caps lock, go to soviet california and egt b0ned dead by an aids spreader

at night blythe and wilder meet in the dark with flashlights and wilder was looking sor croedsby

blythe sez crosby woundly be here under the ciurstances and maid puts out a light and goes by em

maid tells anna to not forget the letter of the diamonds and she goes for it and paul comes by and spends time wity her

he sez he lieks her and she lieks him, and he sez if he was named in da will hed give it to her

aint they cousins? Nah thats diffewrent enough

not like twin bro/sister like in voltage fighter gowcauzer and star wars

paul leaves to go j=rk off to his blonde cousin and she reads in the letter the diamonds are hidden in a hidden area by a button in the fireplace reveals

howe queer, in search of hsitory is giving as im revierweing this on youtube and its about the plot to bring down the evil fds, and in it, its said WW1 suirvivorswere given a ticket to get 1000$ in 2 years

kinda like the billionaiore making his heirs wait 20 years

so paul osa going around and sees saomething and spazzes out and runs intyo a room and hides under da bed

the neice and aunt come in da room and paul is there and he trus to not be seen as they get ready for bed and sayu "i'd like to see anyone get in/outta here

neice sits on da bed and a spring jabs pauly shore and they think they heare something

neice starts undressiung as does aunt and paul looks at their legs and soon after, aunt looks under her bed as she always does so and sees him with klight repflected in hgis specs

its almost like those anime where the guy has white white shining glasses in the dark like sailor moon sewason 0

aunt spazzes out abnd neice is blonde and 20s and pulls him out and b--chers at him

he sez he came, to protect them, from da ghost and thety think he's lusty like a go nagai dude

anmna findds the button and opens a wall and finds diamonds in a box and tries em on then goes to bed wearing em

paul goes around at night and sees maid comming by and asks if sghe saw a ghost

she sez there may be 1 behind him and walks off witrhout change=ing her height in steps liker shes floating or gliding

at the night a devolved hand reacvhes out over anna and tajkes her jewels like knuckles in sonic 03 and she wakes up screaming

paul comes running and so does a few others and she tells em of the events and nei8ce thinks shes mr nutz on game boy color

1 guy checks da area above da bed and its bylthe and he sez the wall is sound

she spazzes out ion blythe and opens the wall and out fallls crosby wjho bkluyythe sez is a matter for da cops

anna blacks out and is carried off to da couch and bl;ythe called da cops

paul spazzes out more like the garbage pail kid who keeps p-ssing himself and blythe ez da wiores re cut 

blythe goes to get da cops and maid stops him abnd sez shes gonna go and he stays there

bluthe sez the maniac iced crosby and hes going fot moustache and runs after being outta sight

anna cxomes to and eventually paul figgers oot da solution is the envolope in crosbys pocket as its da name of the killer

what if itys someone else who wante to frame the envolope guy?

anna and paul go to see the crosby body and its gone and when they go in the wall hole,, da door closes

anna gets ouyt and paul isinside and she goos too tell neice

aunt comes out from da couch with her gross hand like count orlock and anna runs off calling for neice

aunt goes out and calls 4 help and thisd milk man who looks evolutionarliy challenged like creigan in svu but fused with the scarecvrow from oz, but he drives off hearing of ghosts

anna checks da wall and someones in the shadows  and its this caligari looking c-ck sucker  wjho sez hes da dr

dr caligari? that dont sound good

he seems creepy and interviews her and she sez crosby was iced and a hand from da wall, like in that lois webber movie, or erich von stroheiums greed, stole her necklace through da wall now neice and wait, itsas aunt who was susan, not neice, and paul vanished

dr chex her pulse and paul goes around the secret passages of da home as aunt rides with da milk man

dr eexamines anna and shes kinda shook up and dr wants a glass of water

her dumps powder in it and tells her to drinbk it but neice comes in saying she cant find aunt

dr comes ti her and someone watches from the window and dr asks if shes related to annas

dr goes with neice and moustache comes in through da window cuiz hes italian or w/e and sez he heard someone was iced

blythe is in da basement, or is it,m yeah i think its paul and fights a guy in a goblin or oni mask and cloak and hat

he gets beat out and the maasked guy has a flashlight

milkman and aunt ride in da nuight like icabod crain and bikers come by but its da cops ANMD AUINT SEZ GHOSTS ICED PEOPLE at the weeest mansion

like herbert west?

cop dont buy it and bringsa aunt back

anna is in this rooim and the devolved hand of the mask guy comes for her and she sees him

paul comes in and beats the black offa him in a really 20s fight scene as it turns out, hes really a bada55

also the cops are comming and it cuts bewtween them like the klansmen riding to save the chicjs in birthj of a nation

paul grabs him and anna ties him up and moustache comes in but runs

the cops arriveand moustache runs and all hg-ll breaks loosae as the cops eventually grab him

the masked oni escapes and the cops nab him and its wilder whos the masked man

moustache sez wilder is namned in the 2nd envoloup[e and thart wiulder hidr huim to drive anna bats so he's get da money

also moustache sez weildr iced crosby and hid the bodsy in da celler and has da joolz

they find da jewels on him and the note and hes taken away to be put to sleep

paul sorvino sez the bad guy is caight and the others come in and annsa and psaul share a chair and he sez she owns the house but doent wanna live here, right?

she smiles and cuddles with her cousin

the end

That was pretty good

nice twists

good acting and style

its really lite on german expressionism but has good camera and editing

its got some humopr and fun but good 20s creep factor

no violence or gore or swearing or naked chicks, or drugs but, weell theres a fist fight but its not graphic

its clean and has nice touches and good style

Leni does it again. Too bad he died soon after. He had skill. Those Germans were grand at films

its only like 80ish mins and has good pacing and doesn't drag

Nice creativity and heart and it tells a good story

There's usually no actual supernatural in these movies, evern in later William Castle ones, but in reboots its usually real spooks like the 90s House On Haunted Hill

although the 20s Uncle Toms Cabin had ghosts in it that directally went against the point of the book

But this was a good one and I'm glad I saw it

For The Cat and the Canary 2 I want it to be a courtroom drama where the wilder guy is charged with the killings but bit by bit, the evidence doesn't hoild up, as no one saw him do the murder and the main witness was working for him, Also its the comming wedding between anna and paul and the 2 stories cross ovewrseveral times. also its a 16 bit grily game like barbie and on Seag Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you play as the chick and try on dresses and do mini games to unlock more and sometimes there's the case and in the end, he is found nbot guilty but sees he can't get the money and goes off to open A BAR in new york that has various colorful characters who have their own werird stories like a sasquatch bunter and a gypsy who wants to devolve people into his slaves.