The Outcasts Of Poker Flat Review

 Notew; i spell like i play yugioh not poweer

the potcastes of poker plaft

This is my review on The Outcasts Of Poker Flat from the distant future year of 1952(70 ywewars before Robotech II the sintinels)

Its rdierrced by Joseph M. Newman who did nothing I saw

It stats Anne Baxter from Five Graves to Cairo/The North Star/Angel on My Shoulder/The Ten Commandments/the 60s Batman, Dale Robertson from Death Valley Days/The Man from Button Willow, Miriam Hopkins from the 30s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Cameron Mitchell from The Robe/The Swarm/Jack-O (good f--k!! That was him?! I liked that cr-p!), Barbara Bates from Adventures of Don Juan, and some guys not on wikipedea

i never saw this b4 but i thiunk my dad mightve read me the classic illustrated comic from the 60s or w/e in 199X

its based on a book by Bret Harte who was not the prowrestler form the WWF but an 1800s writwer

so after  80 seconds of logos and credits we get a hardware store and some bad guys coming to touwn inm the night

1 jacks some liquor from a thing and wait its not one of them and the guys hide in the shadows like ninja and follow the drinker

a chick comes out and goos in the saloon as the guys watch

the guys look in da saloon and a guy is playing cards and is in a suit and chick sez to main guy of the bads that the horses are out back but shes not going with him, as they are unbder the stairs by the salloon

she cant take it and is scared all the time ansd he sends her back and he goes around and into a room with wait i think its the jail

he opens the door from inside and lets the guiys in and i think it might be the bank and 1 guy gets a handfull of slpooy mud and brings it in

they put blankets over a safe and light a fuse and it blows and isnt loud

they get thuis locked box and get money and papers but the door wswings open and 2 guys come near

main guy caps em as they come in and the gunfire alearts the town and the guys book it seperate waytts as the townsmen open fire

main guy gets to chick and sends a horse and another guy follows it and main guy gives chick an item and sez hes going to charlies place

charlie sheen?! he'ds never harbor crooks! He's a good guy, despite his constandt b0ning

he tells her to stay here and he'd send word and rides off and she pockets the item

later a guy sez the bad guys took his negotiable assets of drafts and biills of exchange and if they dont get em back, the banks over

a beardo sez theres 2 graves and should be 3 and they otta stand and fight and round up the bad guys and run em outta town

so they do so by getting rid of the riff raff and later tell the chick a blonde and some others on horses to stay outta riverdale i mean poker flat and theya re running the town

they gave em horses and supplies to get by til they get elsewhere and the blonde is a rich chick who wants to go to soviet san fran siscko

the salloon card player wants to go to another town and goon oof as tyhe others follow

chick later sez they'd come with him and hes cool with it and hes a gambler. which are gamer in the new pokemon games

they talk and she dont wanna tell ger past and they dont fully fit together, whcih meants they'll fall in ove and have 400 baleis, all at once, in a huge giga PREGNANCY!

TO THE TRAVLERS ARE GOING OVER A HIGH AREA ON A TRAIL and the geezer gives the blonde a swig of booze as shes not doign well

i thuinm they are togetehr and a cougar comes for emand wait the whole group is there

it scaresthe blodnes horse and jumps for her but gambler caps it as it leapes and it flies away iced

blonde f';'d her ankle and they treat her and she cant ride far

there was a cabin by the trail and gambler goes to find it as the storms and snow are getting

chick goes off and blonde thinks she's ditches em and chcik goes to gambler to say there might not be a cabin

alont the way they find a traveler named tom and his woman and they say they are heading for poker flat

his woman is not doing great and says they saw a cabin back there and they all go to the cabin as the snow blows and not like biden jr and his cocainim, or is is crack?

the chick and woman help blonde and the guys getta fire going but the chimney is blocked as a stone came loose

the place has no supplies and theres only 1 chimney for all firepolaces and 1 guy uses his gun to hold the chimney thing open

so traveler kisses his womana nd woman goes with blkonde an chick sez sorry to grambler for thinking he was ditching em

geezer goies to check his horse and if this were mader today he;'d be in love with it as love is love and some like their own species and others like other species

traveller is going to poker flats to get married and the dad didnt want em to be married, also his woman might be preggerz

gambler sez theys going out after the sauns up and outside the horses go mental and get loose

geezer goes to find his horse and is dragged back by 1 guy and i think hes got autism or something

geezer sez he didnt mean to scare em and goes to bed under gamblers orders and chick comes by and finds  out

he sez hes going and is gonna ditch em  and she sez its ok and she'd have a place to go and that she was exiled for having friends they/them didn't like

she explains her homie robbed a bank and capped guys and she might havce enough with him as she's tired of being afraid 

she was in love weith the guy and now is gonna try to outrun the guy who is the last thbing shes afraid of but he wont take her with him

so she ofdfers him the half money her butt buddy gave her at the start but he dont think its worth it as the risk is too great

she offers to have it be him taking her to the next town and he agrees and as thersd no room in the romens dorm, she sleeps on the main room with him but shes on da floor and they have a bit of a moment of heart

the next day after a good miniature shot of the building, main guy gambler gets up and traveler decides to go for help even w/o horses as hhis woman needs it

gambler sez they wont come so chick sez they might come for their own money and to give it to em to get em to come

gambler sez to givbe em some of it and get the rest when they save em and he goes out to  get help;

chick suggests gamblker might be wanting to keep the moneyy and he sez hes a gambler not a crook and goes out as she sez not to

she sez to take her and he sez no and she sez hes afraid to do something and theres a moving momnent with good music

they smooch and she sees a guy comming up through the snow and its her butt buddy comming

gambler wants her to bail but she wants to warn her butt buddy of the poker flat guys comming who'd ice him andf she cant let him bitwe it as shes married to him

and she smnooched another man! shes gonna get hiv@

so her butt buddy who gave her the money came in and she gives him the money and he heard they got exiled

another guy he was with busted his leg and she sez the people she's with dont know

she sez she didnt have tiime to tell charlie about going on and that shes not ditching him and this is seeming like a gangster movie

geezer comes in and is still wanting his horse and after butt buddy tells him off, he goos oot too find his horse

butt buddy thinks hes nuts and tries to smooch his wife the chick but she  dont consent and gambler comes in with the other guys

main guy gambnler sez  he saw him the night the banmk was held up and buitt buddy pulls a piece on him and frisks him

butt buddy asks where his gun is and he sez he lost it on the way here

butt buddy puts the gun in gamblers mouth and sayys "lets play a game, I pull and you hope its an empty cghamber. Its how they do it in The Czars Area"

jk really he checks out the other members and thewir clothes

she calls out tom andf butt buddy sez gamblers name was jake, wait, geezers name

gambler sez its jake tom either one and butt buddyy locks the door and has booze

he makes em sit and tells em they dont got much food and geezer comes back with some horse item

as geezer reaches for booze, butt buddy beats his hand in offscreen and gives chick some food

she tries to give it to others but he makles her eat as i guess he wants her fat

later gambler is playing cards himself and butt buddy wants a poker game and evantually main guy accvepts

as they play, main guy knows whht butt buddy has and they play with fake poker chips for 1200$ and butt buddy sez he has 8600

he checks his money and after adding up gamblers winnings and hsi remainder, theres 500$ missing

he suspects chick who sez she dont know and suspects the others and she tells him she gave the money to a guy to get help

he's getting f'd and asks why she didnt tlel him and she claims she only remembered and he thinks she wants him i ed

he nearly strangles her and grambler stands up and butt buddy AIMS HIS FIREARM AT HJIM

f off caps lock, go inject youselfd with liquid aids

after hearing when traveler left, he calculates they have til around noon the next day and has the others sleep in 1 room

chick asks why he didnt leave when he had the chance and he sez hje wantyed to meet her husband

butt buddy sends geezer in and asks chick whats going on and she sez the coming guys dontr know hes there

he wants to use her to get the guys coming and suspects gambler is troyuble and when she dsticks up for him, suspecysd shes gay for him

the people talk about going out the window but its snowing and butt buddy hears em through the fireplace

he wants her to tell gambler to hold basck and guilts her into it by bringimng up another guy he implies got iced

she goes in and tells em not to try anything and hes listening in tjhrough the fireplACE

they ask about if hes gonna ice the guys comming and she sez to look after themselfgs

geezer wants to get his horse and gambler sez she has to make up her mind on who to help and she sez not to try anything

she comes out and sez to butt buddy they think hes wonderful and hew trys b0ning herbut she dont consent but he sez "u dont want anyone getting killed do ja"}

then it fades out and unfades and she walks off and i guess they b0ned WOC With Out Consent!

geezer wants to stock the fire but gambler sez he;'d hande it and wife and sez how she blamesherself over this situatyoion but blponde comforts her

gambler lights as cndle and letsd the fire go out and reacjhers in and gets his gun, then opens a windopw tile and by the time the sun came up, weait, now he got his gun

waIOT, HES GETTING HIS gun and a brick falls anmd butt buddy wakes up and confronts him

he chrecks the ladies and gambler talks wioth him over how butt buddy atye all the food and the rescue team might not make it and theres nothing butt buddy can do abouit that

this disturbs butt buddy and gambler seez it

later its 8 30 and geezer recalls his restayrant work how food was thrown away and after listing some, butt bufddy nearly throws him in the fire

good f--k is he gonna eat him?!

1st burder, then raepe, now cannibalism?

Is this The Bible?

so blondde wishes she could go to san fran sicko and goes on of her home and wanting to tell off her man who i think ditcxhged her

the snbow styopped and geezer wantsa to ger his horse so butt buddy beats him out and sez no opnes gonna get out

gamnnbler sez to pout away the gun and stands up to him and sez theyre all finished and butt buddy cant shoot his way outta this

its like that Tweet from the guy calling himself God saying "We''re all in the same lifeboat with a leak and trying to throw each orther over"

buttbuddy sez hes getting out and gambler sez hes gonna die of hun ger like the rest of em annd to go shoot the snow

chick sez butt buddys scared and wife blkacks out and geezer comes to

gambler helps wife And waNTS WHISKY and when butt buddy looks, its gone, so he runs out to the snow to find geezer

theres 2 gunshpots and butt buddy returns aND sez "maybe now it wont smell so bad" asnd chick ssez shes not gonna obey him and sleep in his room

he sl;aps her and shje sez she dont fear him now and sends the guys to the room and blocks da door with a chair

he goes to chicks room and its locked and he fires in it 4x

gambler forces the door open enuff to get out and goes to the fireplace

chick sez shes done with him as hes a p o s and she hates him

he blames the gambler and main guygoes for hgis gunb in the fireplace, which should be super hot from being avove a fire and have issues from all the heat and smoke

she sez she likes gambler and will go with him and hestasrts strangling hewer as shew screams and gambler puts the gun in the snow, whjich might crack it

the room gets smoke and butt buddy sees and comes in as gambler hides and loads and butt buddyy shopots the gun outta gamblers hand

spoiler; that otta badlyy damage his hand as seen on mythbusters

chick grapples him anbd gammbler gets his gun and whjejhn bad guy returns, he sneak attacks him and they fight

its hard to see whats what in the dark and smoke and the wife and blonde, wait,m they aint married yet, see someone comming and blonde goes out

she picks up the gun but bad guy caps her And she calls for help but bad guy butt buddy breaks free and caps her and gamblwer jumps him

don't worruy, the bullet missed her vitals, she's gonna be ok, she just needs some rest, theres a hospital planwt nearby

bad guy throwws him off and fdires on him but he's outta ammo and pistol whips him

bad guyy gets chick and leaves and kicks gamblere and she calls to the rescurers buyt he hands her mouth

gambler comes out and snmeaks around aND bad guy wants chick to call over the rescuers but she wont and hes gonna cap her

gambler sneak attacks him andf thet fight in the nose candsy they used for snow in 50s movies and gAMBLER STRANgles him out

dont worry, hes hgonna e k, he just needs some rrest

so the rescuers bring em back annd they see a sign for poker flat and beaver camp

main guyb offers to go with her to beavewr camp and they go off in the snow together like that charlie chaplin movie

the end

that was pretty good

the bad guy was kinda like a humphreyt bogart kinda villian

good stoey and i never saw The Hateful 8 but ifrom whast I heard, it seems like it

good acting and musiuc and feels and its a bit like The Thing where people are in a frozen h=ll and 1 is a killer and they gotta survive

it kinda goes slashewr in the end as the bodycount ruises, maybe like Thew Shining, and Ididn't see it coming

good bait and sawitch with the gun in the chimney and nice redemption off the good guys

For The Outcasts Of Poker Flat 2 I want the gambler and chick from the 1st movie to be living in beaver creek but theres a beaver sasquatch hybrid around and eating the people and us9ing the bones fior rituals, and you find people deboned, So he has to find these items to seal it and avoid it when it comes near. Also its A 64 bit DS and PSP game where you go around various areas like metroid and avoid the sasquatch beacver unbtil you get strong enough to seal it after a fight, but get stronger each time you face it.