Kidnapped Review

Note: I spell like a kidnapped devolved guy

Kidnapped

This is my review on Kidnapped from the distant future year to D W Geriffith of 1948(50 yewars before the global civil war in robotech)

its directed by  William Beaudine who did Sparrows/Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla /Billy the Kid Versus Dracula /Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

it stars Roddy McDowall from Cleopatra\\The Greatest Story Ever Told\Planet of the Apes and itys sequels/The Poseidon Adventure\Embryo\Overboard\A Bug's Life\The Twilight Zone\the 60s Batman\Planet of the Apes the show/The Pirates of Dark Water\Darkwing Duck\Batman: The Animated Series\2 Stupid Dogs\The Tick\Gargoyles\Godzilla: The Series, Dan O'Herlihy from RoboCop 1 and2\ Halloween III: Season of the Witch\the 50-s Imitation of Life, Roland Winters from Citiozen Kane, Jeff Corey from Spider-Man: The Animated Series/1960s Star Trek\Little House on the Prairie/Fist of the North Star the 80sa movie/Conan the Destroyer\The Wild Geese\Oh, G=d! 01//Little Big Man\Beneath the Planet of the Apes\Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid\In Cold Blood\Miracle on 34th Street/Red Mountain, Erskine Sanford fropm Citizen Kane/Jane Eyre\Angel on My Shoulder, Bobby Anderson from The Grapes Of Wrath/It's a Wonderful Life\Samson and Delilah, Olaf Hytten from Arsene Lupin/Berkeley Square\The Moonstone\The Last of the Mohicans/the 30s a star is born/The Good Earth/Casablanca/The Ghost of Frankenstein/da 40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\Marie Antoinette/The Adventures of Robin Hood, Erville Alderson from 1924 America/Jesse James\Santa Fe Trail\The Grapes of Wrath\Sergeant York, Mary Gordon from our danbcing dauighters/Dynamite \the 30s frankenstein\Bride of Frankenstein\da 30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\Mary of Scotland\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\Fort Apache\Mighty Joe Young, anmd a buncha dead guys i never say in cr-p

its bnased on a book by Robert Louis Stevenson that i trhiunk my dad read me the classic comic of in the 90s

i never saw thisa b4 but here i go

wait wtdf

this has a different cast

sao f--k all that cr-p i jusat wrote, heres the real cast

this is from 1938 and is directed by  Alfred L. Werker who did Three Hours to Kill

it stars Freddie Bartholomew from David Copperfield/Little Lord FauntleroyCaptains Courageous, C. Aubrey Smith from the 40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\Beyond Tomorrow\the 30s The Four FeathersVictoria the Great/the 30s Romeo and Juliet\the 30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\the 30s Cleopatra\Queen Christina, Reginald Owen from Queen Christina\the 30s The Call of the Wild\the 30sa A Tale of Two Cities\The Great Ziegfeld\the 30s A Christmas Carol\The Picture of Dorian Gray\Captain Kidd\The Pirate\the 40s The Three Musketeers\The Secret Garden\Mary Poppins, John Carradine from  Tol'able David\Murders in the Rue Morgue\The Invisible Man\The Black Cat\30s Cleopatra\30s Les Misérables\Bride of Frankenstein\Mary of Scotland\Captains Courageous\30s Jesse James\Stagecoach\30s The Three Musketeers\The Grapes of Wrath/Bluebeard\Captain Kidd\The Ten Commandments\Around the World in 80 Day\The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\Billy the Kid Versus Dracul\The Howling/The Secret of NIMH\The Ice Pirates\Jack-O, Nigel Bruce ffrom The Charge of the Light Brigade, Miles Mander from The Private Life of Henry VIII\the 30s The Three Musketeers\The Little Princess/Wuthering Heights/Five Graves to Cairo\The Picture of Dorian Gray, Ralph Forbes from  Mr. Wu\The Trail of '98\30s The Three Musketeers\Mary of Scotland\330s Romeo and Juliet, H B Warner from The King of Kings\A Tale of Two Cities\\Mr. Deeds Goes to Town\Lost Horizon\Victoria the Great\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\It's a Wonderful Life\Sunset Boulevard\The Ten Commandments, Arthur Hohl (A Hohl) from Island of Lost Souls\30s Cleopatra/Boy Slaves\The Hunchback of Notre Dame\\The Yearling/40s The Three Musketeers, E. E. Clive from The Invisible Man\30ss David Copperfield\Bride of Frankenstein\30s A Tale of Two Cities\Captain Blood/30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\The Little Princess\40s Pride and Prejudice, Halliwell Hobbes from 30s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeCaptain Blood\Mary of Scotland\30sA Christmas Carol\Gaslight, Montagu Love from Son of the Sheik\Don Juan\The King of Kings\The Wind\The Mysterious Island\The Adventures of Robin Hood\Gunga Din\The Man in the Iron Mask\The Son of Monte Cristo, Moroni Olsen from Annie Oakley\Mary of Scotland\Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs\Marie Antoinette\30s The Three Musketeers\Santa Fe Trail\Mildred Pierce\Life with Father\Samson and Delilah, Leonard Mudie from gordonThe Mummy\30s Cleopatra\30s Les Misérables\Captain Blood\Mary of Scotland\Lost Horizon/The Adventures of Robin Hood\Marie Antoinette\Dragon Seed\Royal Wedding\The Greatest Story Ever Told, Mary Gordon from our danbcing dauighters/Dynamite \the 30s frankenstein\Bride of Frankenstein\da 30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\Mary of Scotland\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\Fort Apache\Mighty Joe Young, C. Montague Shaw from The Mummy\Queen Christina\30s Les Misérables30s A Tale of Two Cities\Little Lord Fauntleroy\Nation Aflame\300ss The Three Musketeers, Russell Hicks from The Birth of a Nation\Intolerance\Boy Slaves\30z The Three Musketeers\Santa Fe Trail\Man Made Monster\They Died with Their Boots On\\Samson and Delilah, Holmes Herbert from  Mr. Wu\30z Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\The Invisible Man\30z The Count of Monte Cristo\Mark of the Vampire\Captain Blood\The Charge of the Light Brigade\The Black Doll\The Adventures of Robin Hood\Marie Antoinette\The Little Princess\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Love Laughs at Andy Hardy, Brandon Hurst from da 20s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\the 20s The Hunchback of Notre Dame/the 20s The Thief of Bagdad\He Who Gets Slapped\The King of Kings\The Man Who Laughs\Murders in the Rue Morgue\30s Scarface\White Zombie\Annie Oakley\30s A Tale of Two Cities\Mary of Scotland\The Charge of the Light Brigade\40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Jane Eyre\\My Favorite Brunette, Harry Tenbrook from The Mysterious Island\Scarface\20,000 Years in Sing Sing\King Kong\The Count of Monte Cristo/Mary of Scotland/Stagecoach/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\The Grapes of Wrath\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Abilene Town\Fort Apache\Santa Fe\Singin' in the Rain\The Quiet Man\Calamity\Destry\Inherit the Wind BND A FEW FROM CR-P ORE SAMMA NEVER SAW\

so after pages in a book moving downward insterad of right, we get text sating in soviet scotland in 1747 ther klans rebelled against the evil brits

then a scene is klansmen vowing to fight on despite the breits doiminationg them like in robotech how they fouight the invid who occup[ied their planet

then the klansmen ride on to edibnbourough whoch On Lost Worlds: An ep on Dr Jekyll  and Mr Hyde where it shows how edinborough was a rancid slum like something outta Judge Dredd with people packed in 1000 people living on 1 block, and people throwing their waste out the window with only a brief yell to alert the alleged humans below! This was what we'd today call a 3rd world cesspoole

also On Lost Worlds about Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde: It says in Edenborough was a guy named Burke r w/e who iced people and sold the bodies to Dr's to research and experiment on, but he was executed for his crimes and ther dr's used his body, while his skin was used for making book covers, like the Necronomicon in Lovecraft, many are still in use, sounds right, as they ARE brits!

so they get the the place and throw a rock in the window and the big wigs say they are gonna f up breck for defying them but hes got royal blood from the REAL qwueen, mary and they might have to marytr him for it

they post a reward and at this school for boys they say alan breck is a traitor to the king and how hes evil like teaching kids that Gweroge Washington and Jefferson Davis and Chroistoppher Columbus are bad

the teacher makes the kids say for tyheir god to save the evil kng george as they mush wortship him like a mad regent

so the posters are thrown with mud or maybe sh-t and main guytells em not to as its a royal proclaimation and alan is a traitor

the kid stands up to him like peoiple who read non gov things and counter the mainstream narritiove agisnt the brainwashed, ike in the matrix

the kid throws poop in his face for sdayign he wants alan to hang and the maion kid attacks this guy and smearts him in the lop

i hope thats mud but its probably waste

as class is called back the teacher takes him to the room and tells him to clean the mud off his face

i hope he dont get b0ned but this IS a school under brit rule

but really he sez his dad bit it and main kid never knew him

also dad gave him a note to send main kid named david as in dave the slave  to his uncle in edinbourough, and he dont wanna go as its a cr-ppy slum and has killers and poops

also teacher wonders why dad who was a poor got dave the slave to a big a55 school

he tells him to hbe cool and dont be a c-ck sucker and follow the law

then  they pray but is it to the brittish god or the Reasl God?

asks to have dave the slave honor god and king, interenting to have them as equals when they clearly are not

so dave the slave walks to edinbroughtert on his own and hopes not to be caught by some creeper who will saw off his legs so he cant get aweay and b0ne him non stop

he meets a stranger who sez edindougth s-cked and asks for snuff to snort as hes a junkie

then the town bell ringsd and they run and hear the tax collecor is comming and is called red foxx and to hide their sh-t

the birtmo comes over and looks shakepserian and is disgruntled that the people are not here to greet him

the slaves get him ale and whe  egrtting more, the barkkeep[ sees a guy who he tells to hidfe as if they figd hi  there, they'd burn his place

this is why We The People had 1776

so the brits are stealing money and calling it tax which is steraling and the rebels sneak out

1 guy has no monmey and used to pay under scot kings in grain and offers a cow but they stearch him and a chick sez hes a monister

1 sniper sends the brit to h e doubel engalnd and rides off

cuz the brit was talkking with the boy dave the slave, the britys think hes in on it but have no proof but that never stopped the brits

the rebels save the dave and ride off and jump walls as the brits fire on them

paul revere 0, dWN OF THE HERO

at da rebel base the sniuper is told off for icing red foxx as he wanted to spook the horses and getta way

the boy is dsaid to have seen the sniper and the leader shows him the faces and asks idf he saw any of em b4

he sez he know they are revbels and the leader is alan breck and they are traitors

thats a good way to get ended, reveal you know the guys who caught you

he thinks hes being smart but really hes a dumba555

dave the slave sez "orders order and the laws the law" alan tells them the king was stealing from hungry beggers, but like a beta male, dave the slave sez "thats the kings taxes"

alan tells him its englandsa king and dave is subersviant to the regent and sez things are better uinder the rule of the king

we like being slaves, its goodf for us, the gob knows bettere than the peopl

so they wanna ice him but cant as hes a kid abnd the sniper ias told to skip town

he dont wanna leave his woman and home and i think they are gonna sdend his woman with him

also i think davce the slave is gonna be sent out too

dave tries to l;eave but alan brings him with him so back door david wont out him

at night alan compliments dave on his good pace and eats some animal or yomai or daemon from scotland i know not of, i'm more into japanese cruyptids

they talk and get along and dave wants him to swear alliengece to socviet king gheorge

also they talk of the teacher beign a c-ck sucker for his klan beign quittewrs who fell to the regent by design

they go to tell teh woman her butt buddy was shanghighed

the girl and her dad are told off for wearing kilts and hunting the ?king's" gam,,e but its a rusde by alan to test their might in loyalty

the scots like him and are glad to have a hero of the inviod wars with em but he tell em  the butt buddy had to skip towen and hes here to bring her to America to live free

after soem dispute she agrees to leave with her love, like my grandpa who had to leave Slovenia in WW2 or be executed by commies and later bringing his wife and new son over to soviet canada

so alan uses a kart and horse to hide in plain sight like lancer in womens clothes where he'd be vivisected if he was caught

thjey fake beign a man his owman and son and sing irish songs under the name oif mackenzie

the red coats come up and stop em and grill em and dave goes with it

alan sez "you mistokok me for him?!" liek hes tony hawk  and sez "i'd get 500 pouind for a reward? if i were him i'd turn myslef in andf pocket the money"

the brits are tricked like with George Washington and alan and woman go off and let dave the slave fgo off to edinboughrtogh

dave has larned his ancestral pride and fights against the oppressors who devolev the protoculture and hgate em

alan and woman come to an inn and pay to stay and a guy macgregor come sin and they have a drink while he uses his mackenzie name

its really one of his droogs warning him of the brits and offering to take her to the sniper and they say "health to king george and confusion to traitors" to keepm up apprearences

they talk of what to say about the kart and the boy and the kaenzxiers go up to their room

in there alan tells of her possible future with the sniper and how its not alans life

she gets the bed and he gets the chair as women get it easier than men and later the brits break in at night and go to his rom without a warrent as america hasnt invented it yet

they get in the same bed and the redcoats come in and she sez "do i look old enuff to have a boy dat big?" and da brits say "sorry, but we had our orders" like its nuremberg

in the marsh or a morass or w/e, dave the ex slave sees guys diggin in it and he comes out to em after they heare him snapo a twig

he asks where the castle balfor is and they say to stay away from there as its cursed or something

he goes up and theres lightening like its a 90s cartoon and maybe castlevabnia

in there is a devolved loking guy who tell him to gtfo and dave sez hes here to see his uncle ebeneezer (this wa before scrooge) and hes let in

devolved guy sez hes him and dave looks like his dad alexander and how alex is in h e doubel calefornia

the letter is sealed and  and they have dinner and uncle lives alone in this big a55 caslte and he sharews his food and a;le and davee says grace

dave reminds him of the leetter and uncle reads it andsez it only sez dave is his now and cr-p about family but hes obviously hiding things

when uncle sleeps the dave reads a thing saying uncle is the big bro

uncle wakes up anbd tells him his room is at the top of the place in the dark

dave goes up this stone staircase like a horror movie and bats attacjk

higher up isa hole in the stairs that dave doint fall in and goes back and tells off uncle for trying to kill him and how dave knows dad was the big bro so the inhertotance goes to him

uncle denies this but davbe takes the letter and reads that he should take him to see a lawyer

dave tells off uncle and saez no more of ur trix u yellowbelly and the next day they go out as he didnt kill him in his sleep

they get along now anduncle goes off to get tobacco and ddabve waits and chats with a guy abiout his travels and eating sugar caine and how he wants to see the boat but was never on one b4

uncle comes out with the captain and uncle jyuud him but dave tells him ddave is honest and takes him on the ship to try caine

caine guy sez captain brings thosse who wanna be smuggled out and theives and crookks ano as they talk, the ship leaves

dave tries to call for help but uncle laighs like hes starscream getting megatron

dave wakes upin tthe brig andcaPTAIN CMES IN SAYING HES  noty knowbn of this

dave had no water or food and captain sez no more screaming or telling on us and he agrees

dave is nbow reslav3ed

they go to glascow and get 22 new passengers and its the smniper and womAN AND captain tries to get him to pay 60,pounds but he goes wioth 16

also they claiom to be mackenmzxie and captain tries to get em more

they atre training dave to be a pirate and show him captai kids treasure thats a trick that they put salt on his thumbs and throw it in his face

dave recognizes snip[er and they both deny it as dave isnt a dumba55 now

ssniper thinks dAVE WAS LYING OF  being rich and is really a cabin boy

captain takes dave into his room and i hope he dont try anything  roman, asd in polansaki

wait its alan whos the mackenzie and she is faking being her man but shes gay for him now and he dont wanna betray a Klansman

captain beats dave to get the info outta dave on who the guyy is and dave throws a paper at the candle and escapes in the dark

good b/w and smoke and fog and chicxk sez they gotta get poff as they are gonna turn him in fgor da reward and i think shes lying

alan thinks dave turned on him and she gets him to ecape with him to not leave her to be b0ned dead by these animals in human flesh

alan gets dfave and sez "you told em i ws alan breck and if i see u again u';ll tyhrow u overboard" and a slave of the captain hears and tells him

capaton comes for him in the fog and there a beybattle with swords

alan does weell but captain sends his goons like its a video game and hes the boss and dave gets chick toi the boat and lowers it

alan knocks over a barrel of p-ss on wem and knocks em over with a swinging thing and jumps into the water and to the boat

also dave nailed one of his captors with a wood thing, probably full of sh-t

on the beacxh they ware at a fire and alan is gonna send her to glascow

he still thinks dave betrayed him and chick sez she mnade it up as she wanted to stay with him

what about her bf? he loves her and shes a 5kank!

alanm sez sorry and dave sez alan outed himself and chick sez dfave saves him

dave sez he admires alan and they rekindle the friendship in attack mode but he sez he wishes he werent a rebel

is this a thing on the civil war?

elsewherre uncle goes to this meeting and its alsan and woman

this reminds me of that pmovie with uriah, i think its david copperfield

they say they found dave the slave on a beach and have people recordinbg it on paper and the will take him if they are paird the money he paid the captain to kidnap david

alan sez its 200 pounds like my gf and unmcle sez it was 40 and they reveal they were recording it all

uncle storms off to plan his revenge and alan is glad he paid dave back but alan wants to send chick home

she sez "aint it scott law that if a chick is with a dude around the country side for weeks then thes marrieds?!" thatsd not a marriage thats pam anderson and one of her countless guys

so uncle is around and tells off captain dfor turning on him and that dave is with 2 homies and captain sezx "iom here to get em"

so these 2 bad guys teram up like in hu man meets thundercats with mumm ra and skeletor or darksrid and shao khan or ultron and sigma in all thwse crossovers and gets the reds afftert em

alan jumps out a weindow like the Right Honorable John Wilkes Booth and the reds arrest him for nmurder of the red foxx

captain and uncle are gonna get da reward but dave points out they kidnapped him and lawyer sez theyrd hang for it

they need to get the real sniper from the granity wall but it would mean him getting executed but she sez she'd do it iu mean hed if she aghrees to marry him and go to the carolinas

so alan is on tryal and is found gulty as he never had a chance with the courts hating him and his views being counter to their protoculture

might as well be apole tried in soviet uniot of being against the system

he sez hes not a killer and never concsented to the king and the klansmen try to get the area leader to change his mind, even offering to serve the regent, butthe area leader sez they must execute him to make peace

so is this a ritual sacrifice? i know the brits are into that with their sults

dave and chick show iup and he has a plan and she meets the alan and wants to marry him

they ahve a moment of softness and shes busted up over him gonnea be executerd

dave tryes to talk to a guard who send him on his way and sneaks aROUND AND in the arera hes in, the area leader is told the hangman is gone, booked it or the klans got him

dave goes in to see him and tell him he saw the sniper and names him, jamie, ike that oliver candya55

he offers to do anything to spare alan as they can let him go to some elsewhere and leader sez n and hes not gonna string up david for helping a fugetive

dave sez alan and leader are alike in how thewy love scotland, and alan i mean david has seen both sides of the issdue and made an informed decision on both after weighing the facts

lrader goes to see alan and sez alan has great sway over the scots and leader dont, but if he tells the scots to not fight, then he can prevent killing

or, he could  start an uporising and remove the devolved brits from their protoculture

alan sez he wants peace but the brits are oppressign them and jyuuing em of taxes, but leader sez he wanted to but it takes time

alan sez leader sed that b4 and if he resigned or something

alan knows hes gonna be executed and hes give uip his life if it meant change and i think leader sgrees and sez they might have been friernds had things been different

like hitler and stalin?

in church the chiuck prays to The Lord to spoare alan and lawyer i think reads The bbile as the drummers play their tuine

alan sghowes up and gives a speech saying the duke leader agreed to lessesn the taxes and he'd step down flike susan mcpolish name after raeping youtuber for years like weinsterin on all those women

they agreed to have the scots klansmen not be violewwnt and he'd be exiled instead of exceuted

bart or w/e davids name is tells chick and they burned the gallows which is still goofd wood and later alan sez bnye to his droogs and goes of with alan to be in america and dave stays behind to be a real scotsman and manage the castle 

the end

that was actually qwuite good

nice 30s style like the scarlet pimpernell or treasure island or jamacia inn or captain kidd

good acting and the guys in ehre did a good job

bart was well done in his rtole and alan's actor did quite well

the chick was good and the uncle was nice and evil

good msuic and a bit of action and it holds attention withough being light speed and all things happening at once for seriuous adhd kids\

a grande olde movie ehe whate

for Kidnapped 2 i want the sniper to team up wiuth the piurate and the uncle and forme a tirumverate to try to brign dowen david, but he's been taking ;lessons in fencing and scottish kung fu. also the new guy in charge of scotland doesnt care about the promises of the past guy AND TRTEIS TO CRUSH THE SCOTS UNDER HIS HEEL  f off and die caps lock, im sick of ur sh-rt, go to h-l;l with jfk andf gacy and trudeau sr! so also the new guy in charcge is oppressing the scots and the scotts get help from Japan who sennds a fleet of ningen from the north and they battle the navy of the brits, also its a visual novel gam,e where you play as david and meet a girtl and deal with events of the time and daily actions ike a life similarot of him like yugioh gx dfual acandemy on gba but this is opn 32/64 bit consoles like sega saturn, Nintendo 643 and playstatyonm and 3D0 where yo can also make dals with historical figures as america is rising