Morbius Review

 Note: I spell Morbinominal!

Morbius

this is my review on morbius from the distant fiture year to the Grandfson of Robert E Lee: Stan Lee, of 2022(the year of Robotech ii the sentinels)

its based on a comic from maervel but this is sony cuz its connected to spider man

Its directed by Daniel Espinosa who did nothing I saw

It stars Jared Leto from Urban Legend\\Phone Booth\Alexander\Blade Runner 2049, Matt Smith from Doctor Who which i never got into/Terminator Genisys, Adria Arjona friom Pacific Rim Uprising\Emerald City, Jared Harris from The Last of the Mohicans\Natural Born Killers\the 90s Lost in Space\Mr. Deeds\Igby Goes Down\Resident Evil: Apocalypse\The Curious Case of Benjamin Button\The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones\Pompeii\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\Axe Cop\Robot Chicken\The Mr. Peabody and Sherman Show, Tyrese Gibson from Blue's Clues and the transformes and fast and furious fioms i never watched, Corey Johnson from Saving Private Ryan\Black Hawk Down\The Bourne Ultimatum\Kick-A55\X-Men: First Class\The Bourne Legacy, and Michael Keaton from Night Shift\Mr. Mom\Gung Ho\Beetlejuice\Batman\Batman ReturnsMuch Ado About Nothing\Multiplicity\Jack Frost\White Noise\Toy Story 3\2010s RoboCop\Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)\Mister Rogers' Neighborhood\The Simpsons\Frasier\King of the Hill

it did bads at the box office but cuz of everyone memes of it, the studio put it back in theatres thinking its loved, but really everyuone was mocking it, and it taNKED

Everyone hates it but i,mma give it a fair shot

so after a lot of logos and crdsdits and title we get a long look through nature and a cave or soemthing that dont matter

also its really f-0-kjin widesacreen and colored

jared leto comes out of a chopped on crutches, which is crippleface as hes not really handicapped and has a trap put out

he looks like he's trying to be Jesus with that hair and face hair

so he slicves his hand and makes a blood offering liek that yugioh card and all these c-cj sickin bats come to sick his c-ck i mean blood as hes in a cage

then we flesh back 25 years and this criippled emop kid is playing chess alone and is introduiced to another cripple named lucien and lucius is brit

they have a genetic defect that means they need treatment to keep em alive cuz their parent s didnt practicve selective breeding

luscin aka milo like milons secret castle dies or something but morbiusu the mzin guy fixes his life support machine to keep him alive

and the machine needed an a55.oad of nerds to make and he fixed it easy

its always a super gisted loser who gets the powers

i mean gifted

so the dr's give miorbious a thing to a school for the gifted which i hope isnt by professor xavier and he leaves a note to milo

milo comes out and some kids take it so be beats 1 with his crutch then gets beat up, but when an adult man saves him, he wails on the kid

hes kinda unbalanxed, and weill probably grow up to be a psycho or cannibal

later moirbnuis grows up and gets it big by making artifical blood and the kind of some nordic country gives him an award

so now hes a dr and makes origami and looks like hes a junkie and he tuend down a nobel prizeand gets new blood added to him like the rich do to seem to stay young

theres a chick nurse who helps him and morbius has a big glass tube of bats andf the chick knows his passrowd is the 1st 6 numbers of Pi backwards and he could lose his licsnce for this

morbo uses vampire bat dna to let him cure his cr-ppy dna and devolve himself and sez its ok cuz evolution does it so if we f our dna its cool

spoiler; creation science disproved evolutiuion, its canon, fact!

so morbio puts bat dna in a rat and i sassume will make ratbat from transfortmers but the mouse spazzes outn  and dies

morb sez he sohuld have died years ago and wonders why hes alive and thsi black kid with bad dna or w/e has kidney f--kery

he injects her with bat dna and she spazzes out and barfs out her internal organs in a gortesque ddisplay

jk that would make it cool, really he giuevs her a needle

also the dead mouse revived and i guess is undead now like with the T Virus

so later the borb goes to mee some eutro trash and wait i think its luscis and the euro is da dr

they walk aroudn sopviet new uyork and chzt about cr-p and about being in love like f--kin minmei in robotech

in a park on a bench the mrobiuos sez ther curte is possibel but not legal and they used to hgave laws againsbt w White man b0ning a black man but now we got thatb all over the internet

so milo teams up with the morb and they we see some boat in the a55 wend of the world and morb is doing scienceto replace dna with animal ones which totally won't make us devolved or have weird side effects

what if it breaks a chromosome and you get symptoms similar to downs?

do morbuuis gets things strapped on to read his signals an gets cr-p injected into his spine and is strtapped down to the gerney as he spazzes out

man, all these comic book movies are the same

some nerd with problems gets mutated or devolved ort f'd and regrets it and suffers

so the chick talks with some mweathead and morbuis vanishes and when they go in hes on the ceilingand went feral

morbo jumps down and as his employee fiured on him he wacks him in a jump and chick locks them in as morbius has an autism attack and busts around the glass case

the guards come and he's phazing aorund in a whispy black treasil and the guards shove chick on her a55 and she bumps her head and gets brain damage and is a drooling monkey who wants others "kicked in da head"

wait thats degrassi

really she hiuts her head and morbuous breaks out of the glass and looks like a caveman and mocvres at high speed or uses muzsi tensei and busts the giuards as they fire on him

he's devolevd into some kinda monster and takes out the guards on the ship like its f--kin alien 01

1  guy he slices hsi nack like rei in okuto no ken and i think he eats some guys

cannibal hero vampire guy in attack mode

then he turns back from being count orlock and a a beefy manly herowith hair like the guy from Creed but devolved

after getting dresses he chex on his woman the nurse chick and watches the footage of the cameraas and sees his damages an barfs offscreen

he calls for help from his radio and the coips or w/e is called in, maybe the army,, and they mention soviet san fran sodom being f'd and only 1 survived and iyts chick and the bodies were drained of blood

milo hears it on da news and morbs came to visit the black kid in the hospiotal saying sorry and shes in a coma

in his lab, mnorbs statrts crippleing out amnd drunks blood ike hes megan fox and her butt buddy

remember in the 90s spider amn how he needed plasma and drained it through anus's on his hand?

so now the morbs needs blood to live ad is super human and flips around like a chimp in da zoo

then he goes in the bat chamber and has a synchro with them

is this like zoicite in sailor moon with the rats?

also he has echo locationand needs to control it so heaccess this sense by blosing his eyes or turnign em off and soudn waves go out and fill the area

so fake blood keeps him powered for 6 hours and it wears off fasrter and soon hes goota choose between drinking human blood like celebs do or  die

but he dont wanna repeat whet hapopened on da ship again

so milo comes into morbuius secret castle and sesz him locked in a glass thing and spazzing out and writing blood backwards on the glass perfectly with 1 finger

milo gets him it and he chuggs it and undevolves and miulo is glad morb found a cure nd wants it

morbmo dont wanna share his aids with him as he dont as he dont want him beign a blood sucker like him and milo sez the guys on da boat were thugs and didnt count

milo begs and borm lyells at him and it shocks milo an he cripples out

simon stroud whos white in the comics but got africanized for this film comes to see the chick abouut those who got iced on da boat

i realize that her missingmorbiosd turn is like with hunata or chichi missing goku or naruto turn beast mode

but i think orihime saw ichogo devolve, maybe, not sure

so later this  mexiican hermaphrodite looking nurse is alone in the dark the new nightmare asnd runs to turn on the light

sahe comes across the blacvk kid, inside out, and splattewred on the wall as if she was slammed so hard she ruptured

jk really morbuis grabs her and i think b0ned her dead

so morbio is in the black kids room and listens in with his astro boy hearing to  find the blood wwas drained from nurse and ralizes what he did

he gets da blood and leaves but africanized cop meets him and sez his fake blood saved his arm in da war

so morbs looks healthier and they ask if he did anything on da boat and he sz he'd do anything to save a life

they try to takehim in buut hebeats emn out and escapes to da roof with jumpsbut  blacked copgets him at guinpoint and he dont jump across the buildings

in jail he writes in his diary uh da fake blkood wiill stop soon

blacked cop and mexicabn cop meet himiin jail and mexicop has holy water

they say that no one cares of 8 men on a boat buit 1 ethnic wom,an is and they ask hgim to explain but he cant

the fake blood he dropped is in eviodence and hes getting unevolved and seaz; im hgetrting hungry, yuyou dont wanna see me hungry, like hes da hulke

milo comes in faking being a lawyer, which might be a crime, unless he identyifies as one

milos sez morbie dont belonmg here and hes not capible of ixing that nurseand leaves

jared leto in jail? sounds right

so milo legs his crutch and can walk fine as i guess he used the treatment on himself

morbo drinks blood thats there somerhow andhulks out and kicks through tyhe window and da guards come withguns like that'll do anuthging

so morbio is out and its morbin time and hes gonna morb all over the city

he goes cavemman and listens to hhear  milo and jumpss aroppund and finds him

morb sez milo shouldsnt have taken the cure and wanted to protect him from becomming a monster

milo sez the 1st time you dont know what ur doing and he otta embrace his identity as a vampire

milo sez he owes morbio everuything and looked up to him andwont go back and they fight across this train station

morb wantas cure em but da cops comein and milo wacks emand goers the flash to eat out back up i meran beat out

milo sez he delt witn dath all the time now THEY will fdor once

is this  like feninism where "men had it too good too long"?

milo attacks morbo and bmorbion dont fight bacvk but as milo comes at him as a train comes, mporb sees this wind that stopped him from jumping with the blacked cop after him

seize thre wind playmaker!

then he jumps and f--kin flies ahead of a train and leaves milo to eat more guys

da cops think mortbs did it and kevin morbo i mean milo looks at someone in an apartment at night

mexiicop follows this chick through a store and i thionk its main chick the nurse and sjhes on da bus as morbio is there talking to her with a hood over his face like the warriors in black like super draghon ball heroes

je tells her milo got thge powe ;like a micxro master traNSFORMER AND IS OUIT THERE ANDin a coffee place letop the morbo fakes sunlight burning him a bit then sez not dat kinda vampiure

he needs fake blood every 4 hours 22 mins and once it stoips working he becomes milo 2 electrioc boogaloo

mmorb sez he needs cr-p from da  lab but not what it is and went out wearing a hood like a cult member his actor might be intio

morb goes aftrer guys who took keys and said something of swiutching chenicals ad finds some dudes in a lab tthat he  tells em jhe wants

black guyt pulls a knife and morb breaks his hand and sez i am something i cant hear under his groowl but might be venom

so morb makers some cr-p in his lab as milo acts all gayish and dances w/o a shirt for the gay guys to j-rk off to like dr who eps

milo goes outto a bar and trys to pick up this  blonde who recognizes him from something she dont know

a guy like beta  ale justin timberlake shgoves milo and he leacvesbut at night he devolved intoi griumslkkull from skeleton warriors and ended the guy

at the nigt milo goes in the place of this other chick and wait its morbs lab and i think its main chick

she sez she dont know where he is andmilo leaves and she gets crt-p from ca lab

whos been fgeeding those bats? is there an auto feeder?

so da cops go in a home and its main chicks place and sghes goine andchick is with kevin morbo and cuts herself and bleeds which f'd with him like shhes not wearing a tent and hes in the 3rd world

morbo wants to kill but must resist and goes off to j-rk off blood from his d0ng and eat it

on da roof she comes up to see him and fixzed her finger so saye can jam it in when hes ready

threy makeb out  anmd i think superman ripped this off but the other way

milo saw em and later blacked cop and mexicop see a camera whewre someone got it and da feed seztheres a different ampire

its on da  news andtheres a vampire murderewr on da loose but even though morbuis is the prime directive suspect dfirective, the cops say it could e a copycat

eurpo trach seez milo abndis shicked he mutated himseldf matt is f'df cuz he cant sleep i mean miklo

muili b-0-ches about how morbs dont accept himself and hes gonna make morbs do it by ruining himn

also milo accuses dr whos the one who treated em in da past, of liking morbs more and he sliuces hm in da beer gut and sez "tell him i'd kill as many as i want"

in this lace, morbs  has a xerug that makrs an iron overload aND KILLS BATS/PEOPLE AND IS gonna end da milo

euro trasgh dr calls morbs and morbs goos too see hiim and he bites it

isnt thiis like with Blade 1 wirtth Chris Kristofferson?

also the fake blood

so milop has morbs gf andcalls to him like wi lex luthor in supoemabn 001 and morbius morbs out and morbs over to morb up

he can f--kin fly somehow but thsat makes no sense

is this like in Eureka Seven wit riding streams?

or sonic free riders?

soi morbiuo finds her f;'d up but not in the buitt like the brits like andhe smooches her and i think she goes to h-ll for b0ning outside of marriasge

mrion devolves and sees miulo taunting him and attacks and we get this cgi fight like spider man 3 with the ring but not as good

morbo gets sliced on da guy andis f;;d out and milo throws him throuyfghand off a building

rthey fight and craSJH ON DA GROUNDHE LOOKS KINDDA LIKENIGHTSCREAM IN BEAST MACHINES AS MILO SEZ ITS A GIFT NOT A CURSE LIKE SPOIDER MAN 001 THE GOOD VERSION

morb screams anda swaerm of bats comes ourt liker that spider mman comic wherespider man put his hands on the ground and clasaimeds to be calling the spiders to swarm the bad guys to make em leavce

isntthis like the crow city of angels where he used trhe bird attack on the black guy from law and ortder?

so the bats pin him somehow despite being smalll and lightr and morbs shanks him with the iron ox ide andthey turn bacxk from beadyt modes with morb looking like travolta in battlefield earth

so hows morb gonna clear his name?

theres ahole in the city's a55 andall these bvats swarm outwith morbuous in it andmaain chick is alive somehow andmorbs heads fior her

then credits to neion cr-p cuz this film dont finish, it just stops

the end

wait theres a credits scene with the REAL Batman Michael Keaton but was da vultiure in the disney spidder man and birdman in birdman

he appeared in an empty cell in a burst of light andis gonna be released

then another mid credits scene of morbuis driiving and stopping in npowehere and the vulture i thinkwabnts to work with him to fight spiuder man

yeh like this is getting a sequel

the end

for reak

but honestly, that wwasn'tr as bad as evetuyone said

its kinda stooopid and impossib;le and is mostly special ewffects

but so are most supeer hero movies

the musiuc is ok and thew actioing isnt bad

the effects are standard for a 2020s superhewro fim

whatevert everyopne hayted in this, i didnt see it

then again i liked bubsy and venom sp[ider man sererationb anxiety

i mean you want bad hero movies, try super mabn 004

or the amazing spider man 1

this was just a  normal super hero film everyone decided to cr-p on

I MEAN YEAH THERES GOOD super hero films like batman, batman returns, superman 001 and spider man 1 2 and 3

but this was ok, but nowhjere near as bad as i was lead to believe

i also didnt hate the emoji movie

am i so out of touch? or is it everyopne else who's wriong?

for Mortbuis 2 I want him top have dna dewcay and gradually tuirning into some kind of crab like creature but his woman who is also a vampite now works to find a cure by capturing monbkeyts from a zoo and devolving em, then using a  time speeder to advance time for em to see if the treatment would work, also some of the apoes devolve into millipede monsters and get loose and morbuis has to catch em with his woimsn, also its a 16 bit top down game like zombies ate my neighbors on segass genesis, snes, th16, atarui jaguar and gba, where you go around and areas and bust the various kinds of devolkved apoes.