Cowboy Review

 Notwe'; i spell like i'm from moo mega

Cowboy

This is my review on Cowboy  from the distant future year to President Jefferson Davcis of 1958 (440 years before the Gloval Civil War in Robotech)

its direcual by Delmer Daves who did Demetrius and the Gladiators

it stars glenn ford quagmire from Blackboard Jungle\the remake of Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse\Superman, Jack Lemmon from Some Like It Hot\The China Syndrome\JFK\Grumpy Old Men\The Simpsons\12 Angry Men, Dick York from Inherit the Wind\The Twilight Zone\Bewitched\The Flintstones King Donovan from Angels in the Outfield\Singin' in the Rain\Invasion of the Body Snatchers\It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Brian Donlevy from Jesse James in 399, Richard Jaeckel from The Violent Men\The Dirty Dozen\The Green Slime\Chisum\Airplane II: The Sequel Vaughn Taylor from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof\Warlock\Psycho\In Cold Blood\The Shakiest Gun in the West, James Westerfield from On The Waterfront\Three Hours to Kill\The Violent Men\Birdman of Alcatraz\Hang 'Em High, Frank DeKova froom King of the Khyber Rifles\The Ten Commandments\Teenage Cave Man\The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond\Atlantis, the Lost Continent\The Greatest Story Ever Told\Heavy Traffic, Strother Martin from The Red Badge of Courage\thje 50s A Star is Born\The Black Whip\Black Patch\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\McLintock!/Cool Hand Luke\Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid/Hannie Caulder\SSSSSSS\the 60s The Twilight Zone, and some guys i never saw in anything

i nevber saw this b4 but its based on a book i nwvewr read by  Frank Harris, My Reminiscences as a Cowboy thats baSED on his life

ew its wrote by soviet daklton trumbo, hes a commie and did gay a55 spartacus but alsoo the good Exodus somehow

so after credits of colored squares ab d credits and a newspaper in widescreen we getta cowboy at a hotel saying somerone is comming to the hotel soon

its mr reese like kyle reese and the hotel guys move the people in the room he wants to be in and jack lemmon with blickette black hair dont like i

so jack in dating the reese';s daughter whos a mexico and i think they b0ned

so ther jack tries to get the people in the reese room to relocaste and its a mexico and hes the one whos the gf's dad

he has a poem from jack and jack admits he likes her but dad dontconsent but jack wants to be in the cattle business

mexidad leaves and wait he sends the jack out and sez theres no way for him to have his michild

so reese comes in and hes glenn forde and has a crew with a lot of guys on the trail and they're tired of beef

mexidad chats friendly with redsse and wanna do deals in cow slaves and mexigf looks at jack b4 leaving

reese lost 87 cows and talks with a guy about opera but he dotn know it and knows his cow stats about sellling them to guys but the market is closed and they wont know til tomorrow

reese wants a hot bath after being on the ol dusty trail

so after doing deals hes in the tub andc not a really fat chick like on the learning channel and jack brings him booze and talks about how he was raised on a farm and wants to be in the cattle buisiness

this is in chicago before they devolved into mad max and the civilized areas and jack hates it there and weants to be on the trail

reese sez jacks an a55 and his phantasy about a goode time on the traIL IS A crock of sh-t and horses s-ck

also reese keeps shooting bugs with a revolver and sez horses taste like a55 and donty think jack otta go with himn

after shooting at a spider and blowing a hole in the pipe's a55, he goes to the opera and has some 1800s bimbos with him

then some cards and not yuguoh where i fuse e hero neos and cyber end dragon into cyber neos

after p-ssing away his money in a card game, jack offers to invest in his thing with 3000 $ from his dad selling the farma and he'd come with him on the trip to the grand line to find the one piece

so the reese uses the money to win back and wait i think the jack wrote a contract to make clear the terms like Go Nagai does

reese sez he never signbed a contract and has a reputation to uphold even though contracts are proof incase anyone forgets, or you can f guys into sdelling you th=eir souls

like south park with the human centiupad where he signed w/o reading it and was sewed a55 to mouth to 2 guys

so thw jCK GOES OUT TO JOIN THE TRIP on thwe journey to the west but reese dont wanan be partners and wantss to paAy him off with interest

jack wants to go with him and quit his job and jack sez i made a deal and dont want you to welch out and this mexicano sez if jack wasn't honest then reese would have killed him by now

reese is minda bitter and burned out like rambo in  the 4th rambo or some versions of batman

so after a train ride they pick up dr bender whos descendant would go to school with molly ringwoirm and she'd get to over 600lbs and have a shower scene ion tyhe learning channel under the name nikki

the jack wanted to buy new clothes but theres no time and the cowboys think hes a candya55

the wagons take off like jayve and the wheeled warriors, or maybe not, i never saw that show and only knkw the title and they get mote guys at a camp thats not 731

theyy get horses and gotta break em in and jack has issue with his a55less chaps

imagine if they b0ned the horses into submission as the horses screamsed and j-zzed?

this just went brony

jack is afraid of the horse as these manly dudes hold and wrestle with their horses but not in bed like the french do

ghe gets on 1 and it spazzed out and he fell off and tries again as the horse goes emntzl and spazzes around

so they go on a journey and eventually stop by a lake and its night and jack getrs his a55 rubbed with salt water ans whiskey from too much a55 riding

reese dont like jack not doing his work and offers his money back but jack goes to do his slave chores

the next day they have steak for breakfast cuz they need protein and arre alpha males who dont go vegan

then mnore travel and jack seeing indians and woiods and other things

at night a guy zez he turned down a chick cuz he didnt wanna livbe in chicagoi and q guy was a town marshall but quit after he got tired of killing all these people and got jumped in da dark ansd capped em and found they were oung and drunbk

as oppsooosed to youth today doing fentinel and beating up pregnant chicks before the cops hold him down as the drugs kick in

1 guy tthows a rattlesnake at jack and the idiots play catch with the snake and 1 guy got biut and spazzed out and died

wait hes still lingering aand they wrapped him in blankets to try to keep him alive and 1 guy talks about eating indians

well, they eat us, so its only fair

so the bit guy bites it from those jacka55es throwing a deadly animnal around, which is like playing russian roulette but aiming it at anyone

they berry him deep so the coyotes dont get him and the guy who threw the snake tries to take his boots jack sez to beat him out for it but reese throws jack and sez thats how the trail goes and jack otta dig the grave

reese sez words about if its anyones fault and we dont got aAll the answers and if it wasnt a snake it might;ve been a steer or commanche or horse falling in a prarie dog a55 hole

wow we're nearly AN HOUR IN WITH ADDS, THAT FELT LIKE NOTHING

SO JACK STAYED UPO AT NBIGHT THINKING OF HIS MALCONTENTARY AND THE NEXt day they go on to sad music

they they mack it to soviet mexico where this is before the cartels took over and b0ned people dead and cooked em in acid and ate em

i knew some mexicoes and they liked dbz and chicks with big butts

reese sez the men can drink now and brand cattle tomorrow and jack goes off to find his mexichick

rreese introduces jack and a mexico to mexidad and they go in to see his mexikid and shes married to a mexico

jack cant take it and pulls out his gun and puits it to hsi head and says "one way one" and fires as his head pops and sprays her!

jkn really he asks why she didnt wait and she sez she wrote to him but he left the day after hewr

her mexican husband dont like jkack and dont want her with him alone cuz they might b0ne and his son woiruld be like its said about peter trudeau and his effeminate alleged son

after a game of grabbing a chicken on horseback off the groudn they have a matador thing wait its a thing where you gotta pout a ring on a big black bulls blood red horns

jackm volunteers and rides in on his horses a55 and in a field of cows and the black bull trys to shank the horse with its long hard red horns

jack gets the ring on and wait it was the mexican busband and the next guy who goes in in reese who goes in horseless

use your ki to handle it, turn it clear to be undetectable

so glen fords stunt double dodges the bull attacks and gets the ring on it

America Trumps mexico! Freedom!

mexichick tells the jack to meet at this place at 8 and he does and she sez she had no choice in who to marry cuz mexico is the 3rd world and dont belong on our blue and pure world

she smooches him and goes off w/o saying if she loves him as in the husband

so jack goes to a bar and this guyt gets in issue with comming onto another mans wiooman and 4 guys are gonna jump him and b0ne him dead

jack tries to get hellp but none  ofthe men on the thing wanna help cux threy got cows to breung in

jack is p-ssed cuz they queered out and won't save a mans life over animals but reese sezif he starts a fightit could turn the town on hthem

jacjkk goes anyway but reesae throws a metal at his leg sand they fight but resse wins and nearly cooks jack in the ca,pfire untiol hwe backs down

jack sez he'ds use a cerowbar on reese cuz he diont fight like a man and the next day, the bar guy charlie like the evil prince turned king who iced diuana and his other h0s is ok but has a busted arm

they go on and jack saves a calf who was lagging and is worth 20$ and jack hates rfeese now for his putting animals over humanbs

reese cmforts him as humans and mexicans breeding don;'t work out but jack is stull p-ssed

later indians are following em to steal cattkle and settles downb for the night anmd arrainges his troops but jack went off

wow theres only half AN HOUR LEFT WITH ADDS

that felt like nothing

so ther indians comes and the Am,ericans lock and load in case things go south korea

but the inaidas go off toward some other pplace and they figure that jack is there and the indians will get the strays

the indians ARE GONNA ICE HIM and jack the steers and queers but there's not much chance for the Americans to win if they go

the reese decides to stampede their steers and fires the gun in the air to send em tramplin

the stampeed chases AWAY THE IDNAIDBNs and jack goes violence jack and caps an indian with a rifle

thats what you get for trying to steal!

reese goes in and they iuce more indians but reese getrs capped and argues with jack over if he could take the indians

jack takes over and reese is f'd and this mexicomrade sez "what can go wrong" like he's f--kin bubsy

so jack leads the cattledrive but i think he dont know sh-t and we getta montage of him leading em

is this starscream?

2 guys fight and 1 is the guy who killd the guy wityh a snake and io dont mean b0ning him dead and after he beat the guy out, he goes to gut the guy like a fish with his blade cuz killing 1 mamn wasnt enough

jack saves the guy and has a gun and reese sez they lost around 200 cows but jack sez trhey wetrre reeses cows as he seperated em with a crowbar

like, in the back door?

so the reese gets better and can rise his horses a55 after getting his knee hot out and the ex marshall wants to go back toi the toen he left that they are near as he can live there as a citizen instead of a marshall

the grand marshall of h-ll from great mazoinger!

so they make it to the cattle area and load tyhe cattleya onto trains and this guy sez 1 guy hung himself after killing a guy in a barfight but jack dont care and is a harda55 now

reese tells off jack for devolving into a c-ck sucker but jack blames reese for being like that too

at nbight on a moving train the jack goes in the cow crate and crawls alonfg the walls

he falls on em and hets a horn shanked through him and he screams and dies in agony

jk really this minion goes to tell the reese and he goes to save jacks a55

jack tries to makr yhe cows stand but the cows are too big and as reese comes in jack has a horn at his crotch

the cows are too devolved to care and trample each other if they are sitting

so reese saves him and lifts a cow off the grond and jack sez he miscounted and the lost cows are 50/50 eaxh others

they goi to the hotel they were at iun the start and jack is now reeses partner nbut not like butt buiddies and the hotel guy who jack worked for now takes orders from jack as hes the customer

jack and reese take a bath together but inserarate tubs and jack shoots a cockroach with a big blacvk gun andf laughs as he sucks a cuigar

the end

that was pretty good

goes by at a good rate and has good character development

sorta like in Yugioh how Yugi gets more bada55 and the other Yugi gets nicer from each other

kinda surprized the guy didnt get the mexican

its got a good flow and goesx at a good pace instead of everytbninbg happening at once and its got a bit of breathing room

it seems like not much happens but thats whats interesting

like Alien 001 bwefore they meet the space daemon

jack is pretty bada55 and so is glen and the action is well done

theres parts w/o dialogue and showing instead of telling like a silent film and the movie doesn't drag or feel long

i liked uit and its a pretty coool story thats somewhat true

For Cowboy 2 i want for reese and jack to be on a drive and encounter some kind of sci fi mbase  run by devolved cAVEMEN like monsters that are moire sasquatchlike and tall, turns oiuyt, they were the offspring of humans and sasquatch and have sasquatch tech to try to find their sasquatch ancestors in their home dimension but wanna steal the cattle, so its up to jack and glen to shoot em down. also its a 16 bit run n run like sunset riders but more sci fi on sega genesis, tg16, snes, atari jaguar and gba where you play as them and fight through sasquatch cyber cities and olde weste towns to take em out, ending with a huge mecha sasquatch that you gotta take out its cores that power it one at a time to overload it and make it blow!