Hardcase Review

 Note: I spell HAERD

Hardcase

This is my revew on Hardcase from the distant fiuteree year (To lon chaney jr maybe) of 1972 (50 years before Robotech II The Sentinwels)

Its a tv movie directed by John Llewellyn Moxey who did nothing I daw

It stars Clint Walker from  The Ten Commandments\The Night of the Grizzly\The Dirty Dozen\More Dead Than Alive\1994s Maverick\Small Soldiers, The Polish Stefanie Powers from McLintock!\Die! Die! My Darling!\The Rockford Files\Hart to Hart, Pedro Armendariz Jr from Chisum\The Mask of Zorro\The Mexican\The Legend of Zorro, Alex Karras from Blazing Saddles\M*A*S*H, and some guys I never saw in anything or aint on back door, soy boy, beta male, candy a55, frooty booty, gender offender, sodom bottom, aids bag, cripple nipple, banana crammer wikipedia

I never saw thjis b4 but its giving on Grit and I like Clint Walker

huh, its by Hanna-Barbera Productions

so after credits and title to full screen and 70s tv color in yellow font  we see this ethnic guy being taken away as his woman whines for him and its in soviet mexico wityh these mexcioes gonna firing squad him

clint walker comes in on his chocolate house i mean horse and wants to meet this guy named sea moan and finds the ethniced guy who just was capped ewas sea moans friend

the mexcio soldiers who are like a foot less than him bring him to the army commander and commander asks if hes a bounty hunter as sea moan is a rebel but clint didnt know

he has a gun he got in the philipeans as there was a wat there anfd i think black jack pershings fixed things there

clint is a good guy and he wants to get his cr-p back from sea moan and isnt a mercenary and is on his own

as mexico isnt a free country like America, clint is sent to cook in the heatand strung up by his arms for a while

To the Tune of Puttin On The Ritz: Don't You Go To MeXiCo, 4 If U Do, U Might Find UrSelf Chopped To Bits, And EaTen On Ritz!

at night this mexico with a ousta che takes out the guard and another cuts clint free and theyescape by a bright grassy area and get him to his horse and escape

turns out he turned clint in to see if he was on the enemy side and as he wasnt he took a chance that mightve iced him as the people cant trust the army like the cartles today that otta be nuked

they go on and its day ad are to find sea moan and his woman/wife and in the day time come by this nerd with glasses and a gold shipment comes by wth mexcio soldiers and eventually yhese White guys use a cannon and blow apart horses bada55edly and open fire

the Whits attack and theres sword and gun fights like Transformers and nerd rolls the cannon on some mexcioes

lint has his firearm back somehow and caps a dude and the Whites got the gold

this guy who looks like the ugly from the good the bad and the ugly or the guy who didnt get bummed in deliverance is sea moan and wants to help the poeple but is told the people need more weapons and bullets

sea moan thanks clint for saving him and clint sez his name is jack rutherford and wants to know where this chick is that sea maon sez she thought he was dead and married him

So sea moan i mean nerd sez how they had Whites in here who left after not getting paid and some gaijin came in and they are fighting the gov as a revolution to free the people from the evil meixoc

so the heroes return to this slum village and sea mons woman is there and sees clint and  is unsure of what to say or do, but later in a barn she b--ches about how he didnt keep his word about settling down with her and how she stayed with him and he bought a ranch but didnt stay and figgered he liked the army more

later she got a telegram and he was taken prisoner for 18 months and she didnt know if he was dead or alive but waited but not long enough and met sea moan

she sez shes been happy here in soiet mexico a the one White Woman who all those gaijin probably j=rked off to as mezicoans like blondes and big butts and dbz

so clint the jack wants his share of the money from the sale of the ranchbut chick sez they blew it on guns and ammo and kids foot and other things he didnt consent to and the gold he jacked is for the revolution and he cant give it

sea moan wants to offer a paper for it and offers him food and equipment and jack the clint is disgruntled over it

this gaijin took his womana dn his home and money and burned it on cr-p on is homeland, totally not like today!

so at night they give him his cr-p and the meoustahce who saved him offers him sympathies and jakc sez thanks for yesterday and  nerd sez he takes a beating pretty good natrued

at night he gets a rope and grabs his woman in bed and as sea moan treid tostop him, jakc beats him out as hes an American and higher evolved than a mexico and ez if you want him alive, dont scream

jack is gonna bring sea moan to sell for a bounty andties him up and puts him in a blanket and if she tries to stop him, he'd cap that mexico

when jack goes out with sea moan on his extra horse, a meciso guard stops him for going too soon and chick comes in and sez sea moan sent her to show him the way, but now she cant go back and they know she's jacks woman and when they notice sea moan is gone, she sh-t will hit the fan and splatter on the gaijin

later its daylight and jack cuts sea moan out of his cocoon and tells him hes bringing him and sea moan wonders why chick is there? for sea moan or jack?

also a love triabgle with a white and a mexico and a chick, like twilight but not f==king ghey

sea moan sez he knows all the info the gov needs to stop the resistance and this is getting like the resistance in star wars and the empire

so they go onward riing horses as if i said they go on onhorses ti would be f;d and later, she tells sea moan to ditch em 1st chance they get as the people need him more than she does but he dont wanna leave her with him but this was done with casablanka

she knows the jack wont hurt her and sea moan wonders if hes doing this for pride or if hes gonna turn him in

then these guys open fire and miss each shot on jack and he holds sea moan at gunpoint andgets the enemys to come out

its a chubby meicox and they work for sea moan and fatty asks why she aided jack but sea moan sez she had no chocie

sea moan sez they got days to the boarder at Texas and if they follo him he'd need to sleep, but jack sez he spent more than 1 night awake during the war and will push it to the limit and make it in 2 nights instead of 3

after a while jack is gettign tired and tells his woman to go back and tell someone to make a deal and give the ressitance 1000$ and he's gong in the hill caves and if he falls asleep he's gonna ice the sea moan

he cuts a branch off and brings the sea moan in the cave and unties him and lets him off the horse and taks off his hand ropes that ramian but has sea moan lay on his gut and ties him uo

sea moan treis to struggle but jack sez not to F with him or he'd end him

the sea moans minions wanna ice jack as he sleeps and nerd wants to offer him soem gold but this higher rank mexico es sea moan wont accept it as that gold is for the people and 1 guy i think nerd sez the dead dont matter but jakc is alive

in the cave the jack does something with the plant needles and sea moan se if he offwered the gold then akc wouldnt like it as he'd ahve no reason to do all this cr-p

jack fires on someone and tells em to gtfo and rigs a spiney branch by his neck so if he falls asleep he'd get pricked and wake up

its night and clint jakc is getting tired and one thing that gets you awake is getting a b0ner and he increased blood flow and heart rate awakens you, but they can't have b0ners in 70s tv movies

chick and nerd come in and they guys he asked wont do the deal but another guys might and nerd wants to up the ante and get some of the pot but jack only wants enought for what he's owed and nerd wants 1500$ and jack agrees for a piece of it and nerd looks like touretres guy meets dahmer meets gacy meets john goodman in the big lbowski

jack goes to sleep and wakes up with nerd aiming a gun at him and guves him his gun back and they go out in the heavy fog and the sea moan and chick are gone

they got a day and a half to the boarder and nerd asks about her wanting sea moan and they eventually get to town and the mexicops come and they open fire on the mexicops and ride aroudn on horeses like fire emblem

chicks horse gets f'd and sea moan runs on horse back but jack tackles the horse and it trips and he catches sea moan

nerd gets his horse shot but he aims at the mexico but dont fire and chick got f'd in the fall and with the survivning mecixop comming they gotta juice an get outta there like sonic in the underground

so they go on and use dead mexicop horses and chick talks with jack about things and then jakc fights the sea moan and nerd pulls him off so this 6'6 american dont beat dead this devolved mexicon

jack thinks chick was drawing his attention to let sea moan escape and tells her to be with sea mon where they belong

the next day nerd ties up sea moan and sea moan asks for  cigar but nerd sez he'd buy him more after the pay

jak wants to send chick back but nerd sez the mexciosps are out there and the sea mons ites might be there so they bring her along

so they go on and if this were made today they;d probably run into a mexicryptid like a flying humanoid or an elf or a chupacabra cuz all kinds of crazy cr-p happens in mexico

nerd thinks there might be an ambush but jack thinks if they were gonna attack they would have or somehting about an attack not working b4, but the guys who said it might be the other way

they go on and find the sea mon ites are ambushing em and so are the mexicops andthe jack and friends escape as the mezicops and rebels waste each other

jak hasd nerd hide the horses and jack looks out at the now silent battlefield and sees the mexicops are searching the boarder until they try to cropss and to catch em

sea moan vows to ice jack for this but unlike some other jacks who hate freedom, he dont deserve it

its getting darker and the mexciops are torturing the rebels as mexicops do andjack and friends are hiding in the green plants area, a green h-ll if you will as its in h e doubel mexico

later jack times it andas the last patroll went by he's gonna go for the boearder like flash point but here they say which boarder and in there they necer say as its filmed in soviet canada and aired in Amercia

they go down and see bodies and 1 guys head is on another guys butt and i imagine if they posed the bodies in a b0ning pose like 1 corpse b0ning another corpse

so sea moan sez the dead guys all had cr-p they wanted to have like a ranch but they instead died for jack's pride and it wins the jack over and he's gonna let the sea moan go

nnerd wants to go on and b--ches at jack over not getting paid and how he wants what he's owed but jack sez he'd get his bakc pay from the army and would owe the rest but its not enuff for nerd

nerd takes the horses and is gonna go but jakc fihts nerd and is strangling jack with the gun

sea moan beats out nerd and saves the jack and jack gets the gun and nerd gets his gandalf hat and they look at each other for a while until chick goes off with mexico and jack goes to soviet san fran sodom with nerd to get his back pay

the end

that was pretty good

didt go where I expected it to

Tought sea moan would get it and jack would get the chick, or the nerd would get it, but it the ending makres sense

good acting and clint is good as a bada55

stefanie did a good job as the woman and she had good moments

good filming and even though the acion was a bit fake, it didn't ruin it

good twists and I didsn't know where it was going

Its a well done movie and holds up

Also it shows how devolved mexico is

For Hardcase 2 I want Jack and the other guy to be going to san fran sicko anmd run into a town with a flying humanoid going around and he has to unravel the ytery, but then its revealed to be a daemon and he needs blessed weapons to kill it and goes to get a priest and return before the flying humanoid wipes out the village. Also its a 2 player 16 bit Run And Gun like Sunset Riders on sega genesis, sbes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba, but you fight mexicans and indians and malcontents and bandits and the bosses are flying humanoids that devolve into weird la blue girl monsters as a 2nd and 3rd forme