Number, Please? Review

 Note: I spell better than guys who ue letters replaced by numbers thoso c0ck sucking jacka55es

Number, Please?

This is my review on Number, Please? fro the distant future year to Andrew Jackson of 1920 (100 years before Transformers Super God Masterforce)

Its directed by Fred C. Newmeyer who did Never Weaken/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Why Worry?/Girl Shy/Hot Water/The Freshman

Its also directed by pioneer of film Hal Roach who outlivede almost everyone he worked woth at 100

It stars Harold Lloyd (who did occult groups) from From Hand to Mouth/Nwever Weaken/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Why Worry?/Girl Shy/Hot Water/The Freshman/The Kid Brother/Speedy, Mildred Davis who married harold from From Hand to Mouth/Nwaver Weaken/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!, Sammy Brooks from Spring Fever/From Hand to Mouth, William Gillespie from The Immigrant/Never Weakren/Now or Never/Safety Last! Wallace Howe from Speedy/The Freshman/Girl Shy/Safety Last!/Grandma's Boy/A Sailor-Made Man/Never Weaken/From Hand to Mouth/Spring Fever, Gaylord Lloyd from xxx I mean Now or Never/Never Weaken/Grandma's Boy, Ernest  Morrison from nothing else I've seen, Hal Roach from a lot of things, Charles Stevenson from Spring Fever/From Hand to Mouth/Newvwer Weaken/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Hot Water/Girl Shy/The Freshman and some guys not on soviet candy a55 beta male sodom bottom boy boy aids bag necro pedo silly billy banana crammer gender offender peeder puffer wiener cleaner gaijin suki uso suki makuma suki okama suki wikipedia

I saw this b4 and I recall liking it

So after title and credits we get text saying its of guys after the one girl they want and all this romantic cr-p about comparing her to looking at the sea or playing cards to forget her

harold rides a roller coaster and seems bummed as guys in front of hi'ms hats fall off and hit him in the face as they wear hats on a roller coaster

after the ride he gives em back their hats and  he goes on and theses this chick who im not sure how old she is but her dad is with her and she likes balloons

at a carnival he plays a ball throwing game and when he notices thre hirl throws them anywhere and breaks cr-p

after paying for it with money and not his soul the chick comes by and wants help with her pet called general pershing after the american hero who fought the gaijin in the philliphones

he lloks for the dog and it jumps on his back an dafter getting it off,chases it around

it jumps on this thing you hit with a hammer ti send the weright up to hit the bell and harold jumps and the dog jumps off and hhalrls gets nailed

he sees a funhouse mirror and lloks distorted and is confused by it they looks at anothiner with his legs being long, then agother of him scrunched

1 carnie throws the dog off his table and lloyd catches it and brings it backl and ties it to this pole but the pole is a merry go round and it turns on and its looped aroundas harold chases it instead of getting on the ride and walking

good camera work of being on the ride and when it stops the guy who i think might not be her dad but bf brings it to her and harold puts the dogs leash on the bf's arm

chick wants to go in her uncle dudley's balloon ride and bf is spun aroun on the ride but umps on it and when he gets back to herfinds the balloon pass is only good for 2

so whoever gets her moms conxsent 1st can go and they try to get to heer and back 1st with bf getting in a car

harold decides to use a telephone as this is the 1920s and trys looking through a phone book as other guys looks thorugh it

he gets the number and trys whone stalls and its occupied so he tries this phone at the hotel deck but a guy puts his cigr on the line and burns thoguht it

harold gets in line for the phone booths and spazzes aroun until a guy shoves him in and when he tried the operators are chicks and girl talking and say the line is busyt

eventually he gets on but dont know the number and goes back to lolok at the book and pulls the page out

after sneaking in under 2 guys arguing he gives the number but need s a nickle and goes to get one from a show shine guy by brushing a rich guy off

he goes bakc and things keep getting in his way and this chick makes him hold a baby so he takes longer but he gets in and gets the mom on as the rival bf comes in and asks mom

she has the phone and the baby is making noise so he goes off and entertains the kid while putting uop an out of order sign on the stall and the mom gets the baby back

he returtns and gets in the stall and calls and gets the wrong number and deals with a rabbi and then deals with a sassy fat black lady like lizzo in the 20s

after multiple attapmts he finally gets through and finds the other guy named roy like roy fokker in robotech was given permission and he dgoes off

a pickpocket jacks the tickets and it wruns inri looyd and i think skips it to him so the cops dont find it on him

lloyd finds the purxe which was jacked and not tickets and slips it to roy who slips it back to harold who slp it back and forth

cops search lloyd and find nothing and he hands it to  roy who when searched hands it to lloyd and lloyd goes off acting suspect

the cops tail him and he throws the purse and a kid base ball bats it off bavk to him and he keeps trying to ditch it but roy is tod the balloon pass was in it

lloyd has it hanging out of his pocket and a guy jacks it but the cops catch it and reyturn it to him

he throws it and a dog brings it bavk a few times, including on a car and in the sea

lloyd runs from th dog and hides and it sits down and he goes by covering his face but it folows

he throws thi guys thing and the dog fights the guy over it and ;loyd throws it away but it lands on his hat

he goes off and the cops folow andstare at him and he dont get what the cop wants until he takes pff his hat and runs

tge cups bump into a bike guy and lloyd gets the africabized kid over and has the kid on his shoulders faking being a tal guy with smal;l arms anms and a head

they seem him walking off an dropping the wallet but picking it up and as lloyd runs, the kid ditches him by grabbing this woof thing and the cops chase lloyd we/o the kid in the coat

lloyd loses em by getting in a fwerris wheel cart and getting out as the get in and its too high for them to get in, in really good timing

lloyd sees roy and chick comming and hdes the purse behind him and a goat eats it but chuk sez she needs her purse as roy sed he gave it to llid

lloyd sees its hers and the goat ate it and she goes off with Roy whos a tall boy and manly

lloyd goes off allone and on the back of a train and is promably gonna j=rk off or b0ne the goat

the end

that was pretty fun

good clever tricks and gags

good story and an ending I ddn;t expect

nice stunts and good efects like a black screen andfaces on phones in it

good lite comedy thats silly but a bit of heart

it entertains and is only like 20ish mins

I liked it. Its not trying o be Birth Of A Nation or Intolerance, but its a quick silly fun time

For Number, Please? II I want lloyd to meet a new girkl and shes in the freak show as shes covered in tattoos and goes around in a bikini to show her various devolved tattoos off. Also thwy go on a honeymoon to this island and these hunters from a tribal land want her tattoos to use in ritua;s and lloyd and tattooette gotta fight through em and get to the bot harbor ad fight across the various areas on the tribal island. also its a 16 bit beat wem up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, arari jagfuar and gba where 1 player is lloyd and the other is tattooette and they beat animals and various tibesmen who want her skin.

Never Weaken Review

 Note: I spell stronger than gaijin

Never Weaken

This is my review on Nver WEaken from the distant future year to the evil u s grant of 1921 (110 years befroe tranaformers battlestars the return of Convoy)

Its directed by Fred C. Newmeyer who did Number, Please?/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Why Worry?/Girl Shy/Hot Water/The Freshman

It stars Harold Lloyd (who did occult groups) from From Hand to Mouth/Number, Please?/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Why Worry?/Girl Shy/Hot Water/The Freshman/The Kid Brother/Speedy, Mildred Davis who married harold from From Hand to Mouth/Number, Please?/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!, Charles Stevenson from Spring Fever/From Hand to Mouth/Number Please?/Now or Never/A Sailor Made Man/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Hot Water/Girl Shy/The Freshman, William Gillespie from The Immigrant/Number, Please?Now or Never/Safety Last! George Rowe from Grandma's Boy, and some guys not on spviet candy a55 beta male sodom bottom boy boy aids bag necro pedo silly billy banana crammer gender offender peeder puffer wiener cleaner gijin suki uso suki makuma suki okama suki wikipedia

it was harold lloyds last film before movign to features and after that he started doing films that were longer than like 25 mins

I've see tis before and its pretty good

So after title and credits and lovgos we get text and it says on a certian city"as tney dont wanna make it any 1 and theres skyscrapers and romance

a chick puts a ring on her finger from a guy holding it on a strong on a stick from another window in a building and is in love with her

the bosses see the couple looking out the windowes and chick who looks really 1920s with her cut hair anddress, is fired as they need to cut costs in the ecopnomy

lloyd walks by a guy falling bak and finds its acrobatics and tumblng with 1 guy working for barnum and baily

llouyd goes in another office and finds his girl and she's bummed and not as in b0ning a55 and he offers to help her job get more patients

he gets some business cards and goes around and she tells her boss lloud can do anything he tries and learned the names of all vice presidents

lloyd sees a guy falling and opes choropracy but f==ks him aound and the guy is good and lloyd hands out the business cards

i think its the tumbler who fell from b4 and not tumbler from the site that used to be devolved people befoe they banned p0rn0

after nearly walking under a ladder they see a guy do it and give him a card and he throws it awy

so the tumbler tries his fall again but a cop is watching haolrd and he holds back and tumbler goes back and flups again but harlod dont cpme and he walks off

later a guy walks by and a flower pot falls on his head and he's f'd out and a crowd gathers

harold does some spinny thing to get the cop away and sneaks of to choropractor the guy whos probably dead and nhands out cards but notices its a different guyand pulls his face to a smile and ventriloquests him by moving his head, raising him up and walking with him around

the cops sees and follows and he escapes and hooks the guy to an ice cart and he walks off as it drives off and the cop contronts harlod

harold throws a copn and this guy with a sighn on his back above his head picks it up and bonks the cop and harold escapes

he comes across this guy with wife and mother in law and  wife sez to carry moms cr-p and harold sez behind them near gguy for her to carry her own and calls her an old bag like in that ep of season 2 of Sailor Moon with Mina and those brats

mom bo0nks guy and harold gives him a card as hes ko'ed

harold gets 2 bxes of soap flaves and dumps em on the road as a street cleaner on horses goes by and makes it slippery and he hands out cards by cripplijng people and getting em to the drs to fix em like many modern dr's do

a cop comes after him and he escapes in the slippery street and back at the choropracters place all these patients came in and harold sees the boss hugging the chcik hes got a thing for ajd 1 ez " i'll marry you whenever you say the word"

lloyd see this as she loves the boss and walks off in shame and wait, its not the boss but her brother who was Ordainec yesterday and will perfprm the Ceremony to bond them together in Holy Marriage as Proper Man and Wife

lloyd goes to his office and reads the paper saying 2 rejected suyors suicided and got the idea from the media to end it

he takes poison from the medcine cabinet and puts it in a glass  then sees his gf 's picture with a halo looking thing over uit and wrtes a suicide note and almost chuggs the brew but fixes the speling in his note

he chex da dictionary and fies it again as he wants to be remembered as a goo speller when sucking lincons d0ng in h-ll  but attempts to drink the poison

he adds sugarbut his coat has a loose button and it came ff and he dont chugg it and takes a letter spike for putting paper on and is gonna seppuku

he prix his finger on it anddont wana shank so he ries a lamp chprd in his mouth but its not enough

then e ries to jump out the window but stops at the lst second nd es back as heights are svary

he pulls out a gun from the file cabinet and rigs a string thing to the door to cap him when t opens, not caring who finds him and sees him bown open on the wall

he calls the janitor andblondfolds himself andawaits his end but this girder outside on a pulley  moves and his lightbulb on his shelf falls off an breaks and e thin ks he got capped

the girder goes in his open window and under his chair and lidts him out of the building where he hears a cick p;aying the harp

he takes off his blindfold and sees an angel statue and then hars a band below himplaying dance musicand he looks dowhn to see the road and freaks out

he's carried on the craine and climmbs to a nearby buildingbeing made and crawls around but the girder on the other side is moved and he nearly falls

btw i think this was after he got his finger and thumb blown off andis doing this with 7 fingrs and 1 thumb in gloves withfake parts

he truys going across the framework ansnearly falls and climbs a ladder but the workers aove pull the ladder up and hes going nowhere at a good speed

he gets off the ladder ad on the girder and crawls around until he sits on a red hot screw and jumps and clings ti a hanging girder but gets off

a girder swings over him and he unknowingly dodges it but when he seews it he goes down and hangs from where he stood

he falls and clutches a girder and hangs in the air and ventually falls on an elevator and it gows to the ground

he crawls on a girder on the floor and hugs this cops leg before noticing he's not in the air and the cp gets him

his woman cmes by and sez this is her brother whos gnna marry em and brother farher settles things with da cop

harold and chick sit on a girder and smooch and it moves up and thry jump down and run off

the end

that was nice

good stunts and nice gags

a bit of heart with the guy helping his woman and showing what happens when we're betrayed(even it fake)

nowadays they'd never do this as they/them dont think suicde jokes are funny, bt its actually more pro life as he don't wanna do the things that end him and when seeing danger, wants to live

its like 29 mins with good atyle and nothing awful of it

it holds up well and has like three plots, him helping his woman, him trying to end it, and him tryin g to survive the building

I've seen better but this one is a solid quick film

For Never Weaken 2 I want her to be really pregnant and he has to get her this food she's craving but keeps running into crazy 20s things like a Klan Rally orunion attack and has to nnja his way outta em. Also its a 16 bit rotoscopede game like Flashback on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you gotta get through these puzzle platform things and beat guys out and get to the store to get the right food, then get back.

A Sailor-Made Man Review

 Note: I spell like that bimbo sailor scout

A Sailor-Made Man

This is my revew on A Sailor-Made Man from the distant future year to openly Macedonian and not in any way africanized despite netflix casting, Cleopatra, of 1921

Its directed by Fred C. Newmeyer who did Number, Please?/Now or Never/Never Weaken/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Why Worry?/Girl Shy/Hot Water/The Freshman

It stars Harold Lloyd (who did occult groups) from From Hand to Mouth/Number, Please?/Now or Never/Never Weaken/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!/Why Worry?/Girl Shy/Hot Water/The Freshman/The Kid Brother/Speedy, Mildred Davis who married harold from From Hand to Mouth/Number, Please?/Now or Never/Never Weaken/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!, Noah Young from Spring Fever/From Hand to Mouth/Now or Never/Grandma's Boy/Safety Last!, and Dick Sutherland from Grandma's Boy/Don Juan/Uncle Tom's Cabin/The Viking

I saw tis before and it was my fave silent comedy until it was surpassed by Grandma's Boy

so after title and logos and credits we are at a sumer resort with rich 20s guys having a good time and soem guys doing wall street things

harold is the heir to 20 million and is kind of a candya55 and we see him loking at a painting being made with  hand below him and it xooms ut and its another guy painting it

he takes a guys seat as he stands up and wants a match for his smoke and throws it in the guys hat

he sees this chick who all the guys wanna b0ne and treis his shot but the guys get un the way and go off with hr

he follows and tries to get in a cockkets game but dont got a mallet as the others took em and gets in the way of the chicks ball

he offers to get married as its too hot for crocekkets and she sez ask father

he interupts him aying imma marry ur daughter and dad gets p-ssed at thsi p-ssant and sez he has to get a job and prove himslef

he walks off and fidns a men wanted for the u s navy but unlike one iece theres no okama turtning guys and b0ning em offscreen

he goes in and takes a seat at a deck and smokes and has a drinkas an army guy is shocked and lloyd sez he descied to join their navy

army guy takes his info and at the resort we have dad saying how hes going on a long cruise and dont wanna hear about their business

in the navy hes told to return in an hour for an exam and returns to the resort and chick sez hes invited to the yacht cruise

he returns to the navy guys and after this guy keeps taking his hat and he outfox's him -, he tells the guy hes not joingin  the navy but is brought in anmd and sentenced to three years in there

he's frieked and weighed and sun around and he spins like a beyblade or skydancer and chick calls the navy

after a bearded dude is sirtaked for three guys from lloyd being dizzy, beardo sez hes waiting til the guy is sober

lloyd is taken off to join the military and chick and her boys see him being marched off

in the boat the queen regent of some gaijin land is brought in and lloyd smooches her hand

but its really a dream and hes being de loused by a mnkey on his scalp

this big bada55 dude whos an elite alpha male shaves and throws harold off to get hsi raxor but when he goes to the mirror the money is in the frame and he's spazzed out

harlod laughs and bada55 billy picks him up and throws him but harold pulls a handle and sprays the hose on him and runs

nearby in the same gaijin land sea is the chick and her droogs on their cruise and when the sailors are dancing, bada55 is gonna strangle harold but he is gotten to dance and he strangles him when the higher up is not looking

harold pokes his a55 with a tack and escapes and he strangles the higher up and chases haold to a room where he throws a box and nails the higher ip

higher up asks, or axs if you are lesser evolved and say ridiculous as redickerus like how canadian frenchies attempt to speak what they thin is french, whos' box is it and llyd takes the heat and is made to scrub the deck

at least he didnt make him scrub his a55

bada5 feels bad for it and sez its his fault too and goes to hep and givs hm a half of a granola bar and its the bigger half

what a swell guy, kinda like how joey and yugi became homies in yugioh and watched p0rn0(this is canon)

the other guys laugh at them and harold goes off with the bucket and places it near a higher up to get his high rank hat band yells something from around the corner to make the other guys do their work

bada55 billy, not back door billy, is freed from it by harold but higher up sees harold and goe sto him as bada55 tries to save him bt he dont listed and runs and higher up takes back his hat, but laughs off the ithing and thinks its clever

harold goes and sees a boxer puncheing the air and he tris on gloves and copies him cr-ppily and the guy takes him on and pops him a lot but the ship tuened and he plows into the guy and ko's him

bada55 alpha billy sees how harold beat the navy champ and thinks hes cool

the guys go to the city to get souvineers and the chick and her droogs are there and the rajah is carried in a wood thing sees her and wants her but goes on and shes creeped out b that devolved lookign guy

the sailors are in town and haolrd and bada55 try to get this dog and its got harolds sailor hat and they chase it causing chaos

all these gaijin wanna fight em and bada55 takes on the left 4 and lloyd getr the right 4 bu is easily slugged out and those 4 go to fight bada55

as bada55 beats the guys out, harold drags em off and after bada55 beats the 4 last guys out, he sees harold having a smoke and asking "what took you so long?" with 4 beats out guys by him and bada55 is impressed

harold sees his hat taken off by a dog and chases it and buyss a pie to fake havign a hat to avoid being sent to the ship

the dog returns it and he eats the fake hat and bada55 is confused and trys eating his to a less enjoyable tihing and thinks harold is a bigger bada55 than him

at the rajaohs castle hes sai to be like blue beard as in wasting his women like king henry the 8th or prince charles and wants the chick

haorld meets chick and has a smokewith the locals and sees a magic trick by soem gaijin with bad teeth that makes brits look, actually its around brittish level of teeth

chick goes up to be part of the magic trick and 2 gaijin make her dissapear and have her under their cloak as they gogo off

she screams and harold attacks em and bada55 buddy coems with him but the gaijin get her in the rajahs black castle(hats what its called)

harold jumps over the wall and the guardschase him and he runs around the palacein chaos

he escapes under the rug and the gaijin spazz out at eac other and he escapes

he comes inthe rajahs room as hes trying to b0ne the chick andfights her i mean himand rajah chases em, gets him under his fot, locks her in a closet and takes haold away

he gets away and hides as one of the sleeping or knocked out guards and stabs rajah in his devolved a55 with a spear as hes not looking and eventually runs around until hes in a rokm with him

he escapes and hides passing as a pillow and by that i mean fakes it as if you can pass for 21 it means ur not 21 and cant buy beer

rajah tries stabbing pillows but harold jumps in the pool ad rajah uses his smoking tube pot thing and as it bubbles up, haold comes up and barfs smoke

harold gets the rajah in the pool and goes to the girl, then goes back, beats on the rajah in teh ppool and gets the key

he gets the girl but the giards come in and he escapes with her on his back as the swarm of gaijin chase him through toen

he hides and sends chick off wearing his blanket and yells A and hides as the gaijinj chase her and he follows and beats em out with a club from behind

using brains instead of brawn, good action comedy, like slayers

he saves the chick from being interbred with a giajin an haing devolved kids and she likes him and her homies ad fam comes by and is glad shes ok

hes gonna eb with her but his bada55 bro comes by and is amazed by how cool harold is an deventually gets the hnt and goes off

they are gonna kiss and  the navy coems by and brings him with em

later he uses flags to say Will You and she sez I Will and they blow kisses at each other but he grabs a painted thing and gets black goo on his face

commander comes over and he backs off and trips

the end

what a nice movie

clean, lite, cheerful, clever, witty and fun

harold seems like a spazz but is a badazz and i better than he seems at 1st, like Naga from Slayers being skilled and smart

good jokes and nice style and its got some well written things

I liked it and the 1st time I saw it was totally in love with how fun it was

its only like 25 mins and wait i mean 45 mins and i hti the wrong button

and it has good flow and dont drag

For A Sailor Made Man 2 I want him to be on a voyage in the navy and find an uncharted island with salt water gator people on it who use their biotech ships of living creatured modded with cybernetics to attack the military and he has to use his skills and wits to sneak on the island and plant a nuke there to take em out and get back in time. Also its an 8 bit Ppoint and Click adventure like that Phantasy Star Game and is on Sega Master Syster, Game Gear, Nes, GB, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 where you play as harold and collect items to get through it and fight/avoid salt water gater people.

Lionheart Review

 Note: I spell hearted

Lionheart

This is my review on Lionheart from the distant future year (to Osamu Tezuka) of 1990 (20 years before Robotech 1st war)

Its directed by Sheldon Lettich who did Double Impact

It stars the cool Jean-Claude Van Damme who KNOWS whats up, from Bloodsport/Kickboxer/Double Impact/Last Action Hero/Hard Target/Timecop/Street Fighter/Maximum Risk/Double Team/In H=ll/Wake of Death/Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning/Friends/Robot Chicken, Harrison Page from carnosaur, Deborah Rennard from Kazaam/the 2020s Law And Order/TekWar, Lisa Pelikan from Happy Days/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Ashley Johnson from The Avengers/Growing Pains/Jumanji/Touched by an Angel/gay a55 Teen Titans/King of the Hill/Ben 10: Alien Forc/Drunk History/Drop Dead Diva/Teen Titans Go!/the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Brian Thompson fropm The Terminator 001/Cobra/Star Trek Generations/Mortal Kombat Annihilation/Joe Dirt/Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Michel Qissi from Bloodsport/Kickboxer, Billy Blanks from The Last Boy Scout/Talons of the Eagle/Sabrina the Teenage Witch/The Fairly OddParents, Clement von Franckenstein from Death Becomes Her/Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Tony Halme from the live action Fist of the North Star/Die Hard with a Vengeance, Jeff Langton from 6 Cobra, Rocky V/Batman Returns/Street Fighter/the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. and a buncha guys i never saw and/or aint on back door, soy boy, beta male, candy a55, frooty booty, sodom bottom, aids bag, necro pedo, wiener cleaner, peeder puffer, gender offender wikipedia

I saw a few mins of this bit never the whole thng, but Mzrk from Classic Game Room liked it and compaed the Genesis Pit Fighter to it

Huh, Jean Claude wrote some of it, Now I'm inteestedz

He is a skilled writer and actor but in the 90s his English wasn't mastered so it was harder to perform, but if you watch his European/New things he';s a soild actor

so after title and crediyts with smooth sax we see a frecnhie making a dealwith a guy and i think doing drugs that turns out to be sugar

the dealers coat him in gasoline and, to quote the crow, fire it up

so he's cooked and looks like freddy kreugar and his woman and kid have expired insurnce

in the wastelands and a military base we see jean claude the real one hammering something with a slegde hammer andsome frenchie guys from the service bring in his mail

he stabs it with a knife to getb it from the devolved frenchies and hes in the foreign leigion and they/them wont let him out a they are frenchies and dont have souls

he chooses family over frenchies and the frenhie leader sez he has 6 months and offers 2 weeks hard labor and the frenchies slap him a bit like the girly men they are and transfer him

they bring him out and beat on him and he jean claused them out bada55edly, inclusng doing the starship troopers thing of knifing a guys hand to a wood

he jumps in a jeep and drives off and is a fugetive now and rips through a frence with hiscar as the evolutionarily challenged frecnheis chase him

so jean claude gets away and the frenchies hunt for him at the docks but not docking with doc holiday and doc from snow white docking with their d0ngs, doc and doc docking

jean clausde gets on a ship afetr ebing mistaken for a worker and shovels coal in a furnace w/o a shirt as we gotta show that hot beef for the ladies

the frenchies think hes a traitor but want him back as they are devolved and try to get America to help but to quote openly feminist super beta alleged male littlekuriboh; french is the opposite of American

the french wanna survail the sister in law of jean claude as thats where the letter came from and after looking at his letter and soft music plays, jean claude goes up to the higher decks and this big black guy whos a frenchie se hes got no greencard/visa and wont get off

jean clausde beats him then jumps into the sea and swims to soviet los angelas and wanders the slums like in The Crow City Of Angels

as cesspoolian as it looks now, its better than the 2020s with junkies ODing in ublic and b0ninghe treis calling his sister in law but has no money and come across a street fightwith a corwd of evo;utionarluiy challenged duddes watching

after the winnder gets payed and not gayed as he didnt bet his bvirginity, no one volunteers until JC comes in and they call him Da Lion

a huge blackasaur comes to face Jean Claude and no one bets on JC other than the ring master and 

JC easily kicks his massive a55 and DON'T finish him as this isn't Mortal Kombat and gets paid but JC gets more than ringmaster wanted

after trying to call and ringmaster and him wanna go to soviet LA ringmaster sez they gott see some people 1st

ringmaster brings JC to a rich place and meets a suit whohe tells of JC's fighting skill and  hes brought to this parking garage thign with a blonde chick in a leathery dres and sez this is his ticket to LA

he tells her JC is THe Lion andhe sez he's Leo and she sees he's openly french(but hgiher evolved than THEM) and  they watch a fight

i love how 80s this is and its ocolor but widescreen

so 2 dudes fith and 1 gets his throat nailed and parts kicked and londe rubs her leather glove on his face

25 mins inthe blonde sez the JC's name is Lionheart and rngmaster sez he gets more money is he wins and blonde bets on JC privatly

the guy who won the last fight sez JC is pretty and dont know if he wants to fight or f==k him and wears a leather vest

after build up, he does a high kick and JC grabs his leg and punches him in the parts(bloodsport 2?) and 1 hit kills him

a guys sez he could kick JC';s a55 and JC grabs him and is gonna rip off his head and sh-=t own his neck but rngmaster pulls him off

blonde wants him to fight again and he wants to go to LA but he made 5000$ in 1 night like a high class h==ker and he only did it for his fam and leaves but blonde gives ringmaster her privat number for when he changes his mond

ringmaster chases him and mouthes off tohim and JC opelny sez "we got money" which scares ringmaster as its the slums of LA with junkies and creepers around

they go to use a phone  and these homies come out for wanting to use his phone as he owns the turf

ringmaster mouths off to em and they go to ice em but JC beats the french otta em

later they are in a car and get along but JC sez he wont fight again

the next day its the hospital andhe finds his bro is sucking c=cks in h=ll and  Dr sez trey can't bring him back so revenge wont help but the cops caught the guys

bro's woman and kid need hm and dr gives JC the address and hhe walks offsad and he tells ringmaster he dont need ringmaster and tells him to go

after walking acoun tthe slums to emotional msuic he eats a wrap which is gay and ringmaster comes by and he gets ringmaster to find his siter in laws place

in there this little girl tells him where his sister lives and after exchanging names they aint strangers and he hears the landlrod b--ching aboutkicking her out if they dotn get the money

the girl is his neice and has kind of an afro and he goes up and talks with wife in law and shes b--chy over him not cmming in time and something about not saving him from a drug shipment and it lead to his end but he said bro would not survive jail

he offers her money and she b--=chily rejects it as she dont like him and jc and ringmaster go to a bar where he gets drunk

jc wakes up in a car and ptobably didnt get bummed by the ringmaster and goe sto a higher part of town and theres art in itand kind of a stdio apartment

he wakes up and the ringmaster has his long italiano b-ner in his motuh adn as he screams, the ringmaster goos in him and he coughs it out

jk really he sees blonde working out in 80s aerobix gear and she sez ringmaster told her needed a place to stay and i think jc is naked an has a tattoo on his chest

she gets him a robe and offers to take himshopping but he dont wanna and we see jean claudes naked a55for the chicks to lust after like in The Room with Tommy Wiseau

she takes him shopping to 80s music and after she keeps trying to seduce him ez people still talk of his fiht in soviet new york

later at her place he wants to stay with ringmaster as he dont wanna b0ne outside of proper marriage and has morals and values unlike some monkey in the zoo b0ning as everyone watces

zookeeper! those monekys are killing eachother!(zookeeper whispers) oohhh!

later to emotional music JC atches his neice and inlaw going to school and stalkes her buying apples or working in the apple factory, but not the one in china where they drive people to suicide and put up nets to catch em so they can't live or die

so JC decides to fight to help his fam and wants her to open a bank account under another name and he wants to have his own place

he never sez why as he dont want her using his fam against him and  holy cr-p we're like half over, tht felt like nothing

so he goes to a garage in a ring of cars and fights a scottman andthe scott fights dirty and beats on him

its pretty cool and him wearing a kilt and no shirt feels like street fighter and jc hkeeps getting beat on

good scenes like beign in a lock (or loch as its a scott) and punched in the torso or scotty dodging his punch and it shatters a window but JC winds up out beating the scott and winning

so jc recovers from a savage scottish smackfdown and sendsringmaster to give his inlaw and neice money under guise of a policy i think on his bro

then jc is getting beat on by a wwf canadian cav man looking mopther f==ker in a squach court and this really seems like a fighting game like something outta Art Of Fighting or KOF

after sending his a55 through glass and winning, jc wins and goes outto joc laterin a hoodie like a thug who beats peoples heads in and gets capped by the guy hes trying to murder

he watches his neice playin g on her new bike he paid for and this is kinda Crhistian as JC works behind the scenes and sacrifices his body to help us even when he don't know its him

some gov agents se him, probably in a truck called Flowers By Irene and chase him but he loses em as he's the ubermench

later jc is at a pool an in a leotard and fight sin a nearly empty pool with bikini chicks watching and another leotarded guy with hair like the guy from metalocayplse is ihsi foe

jc dodges his kicks lik hes shuu from hokuto no ken and beats h  in the water with much slo mo

they fight in da water and h starts drowning him but jc does a throw and beats the french outta him

after the fight blonde asks about sister in law and if jc is b0ning her but ringmaster sez hes helping her and ws hi bros woman

she sez to keep an eye on him and keep him making money

later the neice is driving her bike in a cicrcle and talks with jc he talks french to her, but REAL french and not canadian french which is like talking like a homie to english

yoyo pop booky on da micro phone bone, grabba bus down town to d majik zone

the frenchies cme for jc and he sez he only needs 1 week and he'd go but the french font hav hearts and jc is really a belgian in frog face and fibghts the frenchies off

the f4enchies beat him down and he pulls a wood thing andcrushes the frenchies under the platform or w/e and 1 of blondes agents saves him

he gets checked out and has a broken rib and needs a month in bed but his sister in law needs him

sister in law saw the frencheis come at jc and that night ringmaster brings j to see the woman and sez theres no policy and she thinks its drugs

they tell her she's gotta gtfo and she needs to trust him and neice comes out and is innocent and a bit wooden but its onk as kid actors are new

she finds out hes her uncle leo like in seinfeld and he holds her to soft inncoent touching music

blonde seez video of a guy fighting and is a born killer who toys with his foes for fake hope and tells the frenchies she needs jc to fight him and i nthink she wants immigration papers and cr-p

the frenchies wanna watch as they like seeing people beat dead and jc gets along with his bros woman andthey live in a place i think jc got

he sez she otta stay here untle she gets a better job o a husband and blonde stops by an brings him in her car to another fight

they could make a big a55 load of money and she wants him to win against the baddest ddue and in the place which is a mansion, they go to, some guys watch vhs of jc fighting

blonde shows a tape she smugglesd out and its the final boss attila and taking punches like nothing and the rich guys there sez their hong kong homies say attila will wipe his a55 clean

blonde sez lionheart will win and she bets 0.25 million on him and lter we seesome guys getting of a plane and they are gaijin splices between jc with hsi wounded ribs playign in the park with his neice

attila comes out with mutton chops or go nagai sideburns andlooks like a gypsy and jean claude sez hes gonna get his bros wife lotda money

jc's ribs are f'd and he bet all his money on himself andringmaster taps his ribs and finds out he's wounded and goes on a tirade against him for taking the fight while wounded

in the oscar clip; u gor a big heart, like a lion, but no one cares for you!

ringmaster asks blonde whs shes betting on and theres some play around on info and ringmaster has 1 min to choose who to bet, lionhaert o atilla

we get the rock 80s guitar and synth as lionheart walks to his final boss and we get 80s singing and its bada55

so jc fights atailla and atilla eats his punches and kicks as jc wails on him

ataila notices jcs pain and keeps hitting him in si broken ribs

jc does a roundosue but atilla beats his thighs and jc counters with a headshot

ringmaster sez to stay down but jc sez blnde names cynthia like the doll in rugrats bets against him andh egts up and fights on while taking fists and girlly slaps

cool editing with each punch beign its own shot

ringmaster sez atilla is gonna kill him and the bet is on atilla and jc ez Wrong Bet and gets back in and jump kicks atilla in the face an dmakes a bada55 comeback andbeats the gypsy outta atollla

jc grabs atlaia by the bneck and raises his fist and is about to finish him htu sees blonde watcing

he screams and plows it into atilias head and leavs a huge fist crator in his forehead

jk he lets him live to come bakc in lion heart 2 electric boogaloo and blonde b--chily lwaves as she lost a lot of bdough on it

blodded jc is told by ringmaster he's got a heart and dont lose it uz u'd not get it back, take it from me, and they cry manly tears as the frenchies take lionheart off to be guillotined

blonde is brought i to deal with her unsecured bet and is probably gonna be skinned alive and rolled around in salt and she sez "i'll have it tomorrow"

jc returnds to the place his brothers woman is and sez bye to his neicewho looks like dana in robotech and she whines about him not going with her

he explains it but she dont care and she wants him to stay and he gets a picture she drew him im crayon

he sez bye and theres bummer music adnd the frenches take him off as  sez he loves them

he is the hero we need, but not the one we deserve, the blgian knight

the frnchies drive a bit and let him go and he walks back to his fam wth epic hopeful winning music and is happy and everyone smiles even thoug he took a beating

the credits to orchestral msuic and wtf cheroiragr[hy by frank ux and jean cleaufede

stunts, thunder wolf and monty cox, are this p0rn0e actors?

also its called wrong bet in soviet france

the end

tat was actually pretty good

nice heart, good msuic, well done fights, the acting worked, the story was cool, and it didnt go for the whok "i must avenge my brothers kilelr" story they often did

its got flow and doesnt drag and its nearly 2 hours but holds up

i liked it and jean claude did a good job here

the ringmaster was charaicmatic and the bad guyes were good at being bad but you dont despise them like protagonists in 2020s shows

its a solid movie and I'm glad I saw it

Its got emotion and feels and the story works

For Lionheart 2 I want the frenchies to come for him and he has to beat his way through the frenchies to fight across the world to get to the french leaders base and beat him to become the leader of the frenchies to disband their black forces of military evil. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA with 1 player as Jean Claude and player 2 is atilla who has turned good after his beat fown made him reconsider his life and wants to help him as thanks for saving him from his dark ways.

Apache Territory Review

 Note: I spell apche devolving

Apache Territory

This is my review on Apache Territory from the distant future year of 1958(40 years before the global civil war in Robotech)

Its direced by Ray Nazarro who did nothing I saw

It stars Rory Calhoun whos always standing and walking and was in River of No Return/Night of the Lepus/Young Fury, Barbara Bates (Who suicided) from Adventures of Don Juan, John Dehner from Tulsa/Plymouth Adventure/Apache/The Andy Griffith Show/the 60s The Twilight Zone/The Beverly Hillbillies/The Rockford Files/The Boys from Brazil, Carolyn Craig(Who also suicided) from Giant/Annie Oakley/House on Haunted Hill, Tom Pittman (Who didnt suicide but car accidented dad)frpm Black Patch, Leo Gordon from Hondo/Black Patch/the 60s The Raven/McLintock!/The Night of the Grizzly/The Garbage Pail Kids Movie/Big Top Pee-wee/Alienator/The Rifleman/The Andy Griffith Show/The Rockford Files/Little House on the Prairie, Myron Healey from The Texas Rangers/The First Texan/The Shakiest Gun in the West, Francis DeSales from Psycho/Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, Frank DeKova from The Robe/King of the Khyber Rifles/The Ten Commandments/Teenage Cave Man/The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond/Atlantis, the Lost Continent/The Greatest Story Ever Told/Heavy Traffic/The Rifleman/Little House on the Prairie/The Incredible Hulk, and Regis Parton whos not on bavck door candy a55 beta ale soy boy sodom bottom aids bag frooty booty banana crammer gender offender aids brigades  uso suki okama suki ma suki jigoku suki wikipedia

I never saw this but its like 71 mins and 2 hours on Grit

Its based on the book i never read Last Stand at Papago Wells by Louis L'Amour who was openly french

after logos and credits and title in colored widescreen well, 1st logo then narration of a guy wandering the wasteland to Yuma, but not the Yugioh guy who gets Anna and her D Cups, she i mean he needs water and to avoid indians

he spots 1 with binnocolarsand a few more and they chase him as credits and title goes on

he escapes to a place of weird a55 treesand fids arrowed cowboys and this indian comes out like a nnja behind him but he caps himn

the indians come for him andhe rides off on a car chase with horses

he stands his ground in the rocks and takes out 2 with a rifle and the other 2 flee, so he chases em like in pac man after getting a power pellet

1's horse spazzes out seeing a snake andhe fights the main guyand is shanked by him and he goes on

he hears moaning and sees a woman w/o arms or lwgs  but really they were tied behind her and he cuts her free from apache bondage

her fam was iced by the apache and he brings her onto apache hills, like going to the sea of Japan in WW2

main guy scopes it outand sees a White Man and stays outta sight and sneaks around befor4ecoming out

the other guy was alearted by main guy firing shots when seeing apavche and his droogs got caught by apavhe and iced

the get along bt main guy dont trust orther guy and other guy is younger and thinks the chick is pretty

main guy has experience abd sez to fill canteens at night and young guy is friendly to chick and plays harmonica fr her

2 new guys come overand its a moustache guy and his fiancee going to Yuma

fiancee knows min guy and they dont getta long

moustache sez he aint seen apache and if hes nt in Yuma today he'd have to wait days for the next but msin guy sez he an get another ride in yuma but not another life

moustance wants to go as he lead a calvary in the wat but fiancee sez to wait til night to avoid the apache

main guy and fiancee talk of hw she wanyed him but he thought his life wasnt good for get but she didnt wanna see him again and hes sez after tonight she wont

later some army guys come and take cover in the area the guys are and were attacked by apace and lost 10 men

theres a renegade chief like john brown but different color snd they got thirty miles to bae but the horses are burned out

main guy sez to take cover here as its better than being in the open and 1 guy by uncle leo gordon from garbage pail kids and aloenator wants to go for it but is told not to

The Americans fight the induans in a distant gunfight andmain guy sez "u dont see em, u feel em" which i think means sense their ki

leader of the troops sez this is his 1st fight vs apache and min guy gives him a plan to tie down horsrs and ration food

1 guy got it and they put him in the dirt and he had a fam anduncle leo is malcintent as he has 2 boys and dont trust the leader srgeant as seargent leader minly had a dxsk job and leo was bustwed down to a lower rank like sean phillips in Robotech

chick is having viet nam flasgbacks and fiancee sez main guy isnt used t taking care of people

later its night and an indian comes in and chick screams but hes a different kind of rewd than apache and hates em(as theres different kindas of indian, like hor koreans hate Japan and steal their designs to make cr-ppy knock off cartoons)

he chooses to stay to help them fight apache but its revealed he iced a soldier but he sez it was self defence and the guy tried to steal his god he got in the hills

main guy trsts him and uncle leo dont and they blank out the slurrs he has for the reds

the next day theres a srtorm comming and apache dont wanna fight in it and main guy chooses to stay to help the people and indian friend stays to help main guy whos his friend

fancee wants to trust main guy and moustache dont wanna and main guy sez the gov will send scouts to find the calvary who went missing and they have hope

1 guy talks with young guy about his kidsand young guy talks of his future plans of having a family in soviet california and i guess thats the end of em!

uncle leo goes up for guard duty and he tres toget the family guy tojoin him in his malcontentery

after chick and young guy eat beans the apache attack and scatter the horsesbut get iced

sergeant gets it and uncle leo tries to starscream his way to leader butmain guy sez no and they fist fighrt

main guy proves himself to be the alpha male and beats his a55 in and sez the indians would have wiped em out if they had the men and in the base the Americans got Water but apache dont

so young guy talks of his future plands and wanting a wife and bucha kids which means plenty of b0ning and gets along with chick and almst gets the words out but queers out at the last min

leo beats up and steals gold from the indian friend but makes a run for it and gets capped on a hore

indian friend sez he didnt get his gold as he hid it and im guessing its in hisa55

main guy sez hes got nothing to lose/win and fiance is b--chy over him not kett her in but is glad hes strong enough to save em

they ran outta food and dont wanna eat the fallen for some reason so main guy goes out at night to get some

the lighting and music is good and he goes by the indians like a ninja with a bow and arrow and climbs a rock asindians gt near him

if he takes 1 hour he can bring it back and use the meat to feed the others

as he hides in a rick a non giant gila monster comes by and gradulally gos by and back to eat a few mins of screen time

its a lizard you monkey! What next? being creeped out by a Worm?!

so later comes down and  catches an indian wit a dad animal, fights him offscreen and wastes him with the indians own blade

later another comes and he takes the indan out too and returns as the sun cimes up a bit withwhat looks like asheep

hes got amage but sez"its just a flesh wound" like monty python and the family guy sez he thought the main guy desserted

moustache is b--chy over how they get to live longer as the indians will get em and later the water is dryng up sothey get csnteens and rtion it

wasnt there a storm comming?

family guy is getting worried about biting it and not seeing his kids and its like hiw galvatron was posessed by unicron in transformers energon after unicron fell

the chicks talk of the guys and young guy comes by and eats and sez chick can make the best stew and it leads to them wanting to go to soviet california together

fiancee sez main guy needs sleep and he could have left long agio but he sez he grww up w/o responsibilities and didnt wat any as a loner and she sez how she lovee him and he didt wanna get her involved or some cr-p

they grow closer and moustache sees and the indians use flame arrows to light the dead plants and  1 fire arrow gets an a5my guy in the chet

family guy flips out and runs out to fight em and gets capped and caught by apache who main guy sez will torture him til he snaps and eventually end him

spoiler; they did some prett evil things. execution with hot coals but 1 coal at a time, skinnings and roasting on a fre, slowly mutulating the map parts over several days

suddenlt the camps of ww2 don't seem o bad, 1 bullet to the head is much less evil than those apache atriocities

bth were not good but the apache were worse

at least when the Japanese were said to experiment on maruta it was for medical reseach, the apche were doing it for fun

IF there were Japanese experiments. I'm nt gonna take the commies word on it, sp after THEY enied all their real atrocities and praised mao zedong

so its night and theres a service for the fallen reading The Bible from memory and family guy is being b0ned dead and screams as the apche cheer to f with the Americans

chick wants to do something but main guy sez they gotta tolerate it or wind up like him

chik is having viet nam flashbacks of the red torturing her dad and main guy caps family guy to save himfrom being tortured more

the winds brin and a stoem picks up and the people empty the water and turn the canteens into greades

man guy sez the apache will dig in to avoid da storm and hes gonna blow em apart as he did it b4

later ain guy plans it out to attack from 4 aareas and light the canteens under their hats and i can see the beta males and commies whining of the "evil" Whites doing "ear crimes" on the "innocent" indians

See also the evil Poles fighting the innocent soviets

so the indian friend stays back to protec the chicks and mousache comes back to get his woman out ad ditches the rest and fiancee has enoigh of his cr-o and dumps him

moustache wants his horse and indian friend wont let him have to so when he pulls a gun the indan friend caps him

to be fair, it was his horse and he had the rghs to it

the Americans grebade the indians and wipe most of em out, which after what the indians did to the family guy kinda adds up[

1 guy got it and i dont know who and when the crew returns, fiancee sez aboyt what her ex did

indian friende gives young guy gold to buy his house in soviet califirnia and goes off on his way

young guy and chc go off to have a happy endingand chick thanks msin guy with a cheek kiss but not on the a55

as they ride off an arrow gets the guy and the chick sez NOOOOOO before the next arrow gets her

jk they get to live and fiancee sez the desert is quiet and peaceful now but can be dangerous and has secrets like him and goes off

he goes off afteher and da couple ride as a duo

The end

that was pretty good

good acting and style

nice msuic and filming

good action and slow burn with people in a pressure cooker and trying to find a way out b4 they bloow

kinda thought leo gordon would be the final boss but didnt' expect the moustache guy to go that way

good romance and feels and its wholesome and had good stunts

didnt expect the flaming aprrow to chest that guy

its only like an hour and a bit and tells a good story thatholds up

also the friendly indian who is the posotive guy is like in Birth of a Nation how the Southersn africanized women fought the yankees with her fellow southerners irregardless of race

good film and i;m glad i saw it

for Apache Territory II I want it to be about the young guy and his wife getting married and they gotta rscue a guy who was caught by renegades who wanna randsome him for his rich fams money and he can get a rewrd if he saves him. also its a 128 it aton game like castlevania legacy of darkness on sega deamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox where you play as the young guy and its like shenmue but 180s and less quick time events. Also the renegades are daemon worshippers and wanna ritual sacrifice the hostage to gain daemon power and you got a 30 day time limit to find the clues of the final lair and getto it in time.

He Who Gets Slapped Review

 Note: I spell el slappo

He Who Gets Slapped

This is my review on He Who Gets Slapped from the distant future year (to Jefferson Davis) of 1924(90 years befire Robotech season 01)

Its directal by Victor Seastrom who did The Outlaw and His Wife\The Phantom Carriage\The Scarlet Letter\The Wind and they were quite good

It stars Lon Chaney from The Unholy Three (both versions)/West of Zanzibar/Laugh, Clown, Laugh/The Phantom Of The Opera/The Unknown/Mr. Wu/The Blackbird//The Monster/Mockery/The Hunchback of Notre Dame/The Shock/Oliver Twist/Flesh and Blood/The Ace of Hearts/The Penalty/The Wicked Darling/Outside The Law\ The False Faces, Norma Shearer from Way Down East\The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg\the 30d romeo and Juliet\Marie Antoinette, John Gilbert from The Coward/Monte Cristo/The Big Parade/Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ/La Bohème/Bardelys the Magnificent/Flesh and the Devil\The Cossacks\Show People\Queen Christina, Tully Marshall from Intolerance/the 20s The Hunchback of Notre Dame/Torrent/the 20s The Cat and the Canary/The Hatchet Man/Arsene Lupin/Scarface/Red Dust/A Tale of Two Cities/Sergeant York, Marc McDermott from The Sea Hawk/Flesh and the Devil, Ford Sterling fronm Alice in Wonderland, Harvey Clark from Alice in Wonderland, Clyde Cook from 30s Kidnapped/The Little Princess/Sergeant York, Brandon Hurst from Dr. the 20s Jekyll and Mr. Hyde/the 20s The Hunchback of Notre Dame/the 20s The Thief of Bag dad/the 20s The King of Kings/The Man Who Laughs/Murders in the Rue Morgue/Scarface/White Zombie/the 30s Tale of Two Cities/Mary of Scotland/The Charge of the Light Brigade/the 40s Kidnapped/the 40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde/The Ghost of Frankenstein/the 40s Jane Eyre/My Favorite Brunette, George Davis from Sherlock Jr./the 20s The Phantom of the Opera/The Circus, Edward Arnold fron Duck Soup/Crime and Punishment/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Carrie Daumery from Duck Soup/Queen Christina, and a bucnha guys i never saw in anythign else and some who aint on back door candy a55 beta male, frooty booty aids bag sodom bottom ne cro pedo steers in rears hippie commie stoner peta vegan cripple nipples monkey junkie soviet wikipedia

its based on a play by Leonid Andreyev from the ussr but he was part polish, although that wasm't good for Susan Wojcicki and the right honorable john waybe gacy who were both evil half Poles

I saw this b4 and Lon Chaney is always good as is Seastrom

So after logo and credits and title its said he who laughts last laughs best and we see a clown spinning a wphere that turns to a guy spinning a globe

lon chaney i a scientist working on finding the origons of makind and is opemnly french

spoiler; Adam and Eve! There! Solve it! Now get onto making a hover cycle!

he struggled with being a poor and this baron took him in and frenchies womn too as the baron likes the sciences like many rich deviants

french canahy comes in and proved al his theorus and tells his woman anf baron

what theorues? does it say what if anythingje eas trying to prove?

wife sez baron will ready everything for the aademy and later as frenchie sleeps his woman gays out wih the baron

a hand mves some papers and wen the frenchie goes to the academy to present his cr-pthe people applaude but the baron took credit for them

frenchie sez baron will tell the truth  but baron sez frenchie is his stdent ad insane so frenchie gets his irish up and the baron b--ch slaps his candy a55

eeryone aughs at him and this breaks him like Z Broly putting up with gokus cr-ppy voice crying and when fenchie tells his woman he woud have ied baron but the people laughed a him like a clown,  the baron came in and his woman sez she love baron over him cuz fenchie has a cr-ppy face and is a nerd

i think this is how the joker started

so when he goes to her she jerks her arm and smacks his mbkey face and he gets triggered as the french are lower evolved and she calls him a clown

he fumes and spazzes ut and raises his hand and beats her down, then ulls a knoe and stabs the baron, then ulls ut a gn and puts it in hi moyth

jk hes french and takes it lke the beta male he/they is

then he seems to go nuts and laughs and throws paper into a globe and knocks it off which i guess proves flat earth

so then he devolved into a clown and we see him i think with a spinning sphere adit turns to a globe and we see edited in clowns commin in and then its a circus with a ring of clowns and 1 in it flipping like a power ranger

now es a clown with the name HE who gets slapped and likes being slapped around as i guess being a frenchie hes into SM

1 clown sez nothing makes peole laugh like seeing guys slsapped as this is like beavis and bitthead or go nagai

the a55 clowns put on make up which is approriation of albinoes and a hate crime or abelist or w/e cr-p they/them ake up to try to make rpeople feel for their causes

theses a trapeeze guy whos handsome and nice and helps a kid/midget clown

trapeeze guy seez a chick come by and its frencjies ex woman andbaron wait, its not her its some latino chick whos italiano and her dad the count whos cr-pped out

she does the new act of bare back riding and not as in b0ning and trapeeze guy likes her

so this devolved cowln i though was ln was shown laughing with the spinning sphere and then we see italinao chick having a glass of wine, which ike smoking, we now know to be cancerous, and laughs at the idea of a clown who likes being slapped and sees a neon lights thing of a clownface and a hand hitting it

so later we get the circus show and trapeeze guy i think or maybe some other guy i dont know talks to italiano chick of how her dad wants her to marry a rich guy cuz her dad is a big shot kinda and the guy wh looks like mike matei sez he'd die w/o her

k never mind i checked wikipedia and it sez it is trapeeze guy and he wants to spend all day with her tmororow and frenchie seez and feels a thing of hope again

frenchie has italiano chick put his heart design on his costume and she sez he might leave em for a bigger curcus from being so famous and he sez he likes it here but she sez one day he'd want more than laughs and audience

later the lon frenchaney does his act and a swarm of clowns coems in playign horns and looking a bit like klansmen

lon comes n on stilts and they pull hu down on his a55 and the people laugh and he sees the clowns as the acdemy who f;'d him and laughs at him and he sez he'd rpove the earth is round but gets slapped and people laugh

then he sez the earth is flat and gets slapped oj is a55 and then sez the arth is hard an egts beat again

as he gets uop he sees the baron who jyuued him and laughs at him as lon keeps saying "there is " and the clowns beat him in the face and he steams with fury

then one by on the clowns take turns slapping him as baron laughs at the man he drove insane and the clowns hold him and carry him off

they bring him back and throw him in the arena tied up and 1 guy opens hs heart cover and pulls out a fake heart, digs a hole in the dirt floor and covers it up and stomps it as baron laughs

the clowns coem out for a funeral and lon frenchi is told to lie down as he's supposed to be dead and the clowns  fake cry and cover him with wreaths, then try to lift the stretcher but he rips through it and they walk off with an empty stretcher

baron leaves and is probably gonna 0ne lons woman and lon gets up with his hands tied behind him and walks offas workers get the wreathes

after the show the baron is into italiano chick and trapeeze guy wants her but dad sez no and lon frencho is steaming with anger and ready to sh-t his pants with french fury

itanloano does her horse a55 riding show and  lon goes in front of the clown i mean baron and f--ks with him but baron hates clowns as he was probably mo les tend by one as a kid

lon sez he hates barons and dances off and  f--ks with the italiano and trapeeze guy who ride around the ring and gets f'd

later dad is hanging with chicks and tells italiano chick daughter hesaid yet to a meeting with the baron for her and they go now

lon looks around the ring and digs up his befouled heart and cleans it off in good symbolism and stans alone in the empty ring

count dad prepares for a thing and gets on his best suit and sez baron thinks he can buy hsi daughter, a mancini like in the garbage pail kids i think, with jewels and he's gonna enlighten him

after dad leaves the trapeeze guy comes by and goes off with italiano to probably b0ne as they are el italaino and italianos like b0ning a lot

count and baron meet and trapeeze and italiano have a picnic and neither ar hungry nd they are in love and make out and he chases her around the woods as they can't show em b0ning in a 20s film and they make out on the ground with the bugs going around em

in the meeting dad sez countess mancini can only get jewels from her husband and  baron sez he wont marry a cucis rider but dad sez how hot his daughter is, which if he was a republican, then the news would think he wants to b0ne her

trapeeze guymakes a flower thing for his italiano gf's head and this devolved guy comes by and makes bird sounds

baron agrees to marry italiano and at the same time trapeeze man wants to marry her but she needs her dads consent but she only loves him

count italiano has baron loan him 1000 franks and we see a scene of a chick i think the frenchie wife in a room with a check for 1000 franks

oh he's ditching her, like springer says; if he's gonna cheet on his bf to date u, he'd cheet on u when he finds someone better.

see also back door bimbo kim kardashian marrying that guy for 2 months then dumping him for a bigger blacker guy

later italiano comforts lon chanfrench who looks bummed and he reads her palm and sez she'd doomed and her dad wants to marry her to baron and oly HE (the lon) can save her with his love as hes gay for her and she opened his heart its gonna be all right

she laughs and lightly slaps his face and sez she thought he was srs  for a bit nd he covers his pain sayign hes never srs and is only HE who gets slapped and sez srs things to make others laugh

count and baron come in and reveal braon blackasuar is gonna marry her after the show and lon wtches him kiss her hand with a sad face

dad count goes off and sez baron will buy cham pagan for all and lon frenchie sez the show bmust go on 1st

chichk itlainess performes and lon comes in and a55clownishly boots the guys out of the barons area and f==ks with the baron and count and tells off count for selling his daughter to dat monkey

count shoves lon in the room with the lion cage andthe lion gets his africn up and spazzes out

lon gets a psycho grin in clown make up and turns the lion cage to the door and opens the thing

lon comes n another door and locks them in the room and goes to the other door wih a sick smile like the f--kin joker

he confronts count mantopus andbreaks the champagan bottle and puts it in glasses and drinks to the one who laughs last but barn butt hole wont drink with a fool

lon dares hi to recognize hi and he sees through his maken up and sees its a devolved lon chaney from b4 and freaks out

ln sez "u think i;'d let U of all men marry her?" and when count comes attacks lon they fight and i think lon is stabed by a cane and somehow mortally wounded

he takes out the fake heart and looks bummed and wait, the cane had a sword in it

they get the key and he puts the sowrnmd away and go to the door and after getting a drink of booze goes to the door but lon sez "remember, da on who laughs last" and they open the door and the lion coems out

hahaha now ur f==ked booty boys!

count manicure hfes behidn a table and the lion jumps and mauls his a55 dead and italiano daughter senses something dring her show

baron blacula bangs on the door for help but the crowd cheering covers it and eventually the lion gets him offscreen

so lon got his revenfe and the lion is coming for him as often happens when you get revenge and asks the lion to gve him 1 last slap

a lion tamer comes in andatches the lion back to his place and after looking at his work goes on to do one last show instead of doing medical attention as i guess he dont wanna live anymore

also in the play he iced the wife and baon with poison and suicided

lon le chan goes on and does a new show and gets beat aorund and sez clowns make people laugh

hes bleeding from the wound over his patch heart which is a good metaphor and keels over and chick itlainain comforts hm and he sez their pain is over and now they wil be happy and  the clowns cry as they dont wanna get a dr

and then he died, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, and his blood soaked hand holds his fake heart as he held onto his broken heart the rest of his life

then later we see the chick itlaiano and trapeeze guy on a horse saying "to think, we always laughted at hm" and them we see the spining globe and clowns around it and they throw it off the egde

the end

that was good

kinda surpirized the italiano and trapeeze guy got a happy ending as seastrom often kills everyone

good lon chaney performance with his visable expressive emotions

and his make up is well done as usual

the other actors did well and its got good rmance and heart

lon was kinda nuts in here after being broken but he broke back the guy who brke him

kind of a damaged knight saving a princess

its a well done film with a good number of metaphors in camera and good themes

Oh and its silent in good b/w and proper fullscreen

For He Who Gets Slapped 2 I want the cops to be investigating the circus about the laion mauling and its cutting into the circus business. the wife of lon an baron coms by and identifies the body and after finding out lon is the clown who sicked the lion on the baron and count, tries to sue the curcus, and much of it is a courtroom drame, but when she reveals that she was lons woman and left him after her butt buddy took his theory, the jury finds her responsible fr starting the whole thing and she has to pay, not wanting to dreal with it, she goes to her room and eats her gun and wakes up in dante's inferno in the bottom layer of ice for traitors and the baron is there being b0ned by abe lincon. also its a 128 bit mini game collection where you play party games based on crcus acts on dreamcats, gamecube, xbox and ps2 with up to 4 players and thing like animal taming and carnicval cr-p.

The Circus Review

Note: i spell clown a55

The Circus

This is my review on The Circus from the distant fture year (to Joan Of Arc) of 1928 (100 years before Robotech Season 2 kinda and maybe Transformers Zone)

Its directed by Charlie Chaplin who did A Night in the Show\The Immigrant\A Dog's Life\The Kid\The Pilgrim\The Gold Rush\City Lights\Modern Times\The Great Dictator/A Woman of Paris

It syars openly agnostic/gypsy Charlie Chaplin from Tillie's Punctured Romance/The Immigrant\A Dog's Life\The Kid\The Pilgrim\The Gold Rush\City Lights\Modern Times\The Great Dictator/A Woman of Paris, Al Ernest Garcia from The Gold Rush\City Lights\Modern Times, Merna Kennedy from nothing else i saw, Harry Crocker from The Gold Rush\The Big Parade\La Bohème\Show People\City Lights, Henry Bergman from The Immigrant\A Dog's Life\The Kid\The Pilgrim\A Woman of Paris\The Gold Rush\City Lights\Modern Times, Tiny Sandford from The Gold Rush\Queen Christina\Modern Times\The Great Dictator, John Rand rom The Immigrant\The Gold Rush\City Lights, George Davis from Sherlock Jr.\He Who Gets Slapped\The Phantom of the Opera andv Steve Murphy whos not on soviet back door candy a55 beta male sissy gilry man uso suki jigoku no okama maruta suki aids bag wikipedia

I think i saw this b4 but its been years

during title and credits we see a chick in a harness swinging in this crcis tent like sailor moonb super s then this circus show of a chick on horse andclowns

the ringmaster sez after the show she missed da hoop agan and she sez daddy i ouldnt help it and he throws her to the ground and sez no dinner

the clowns come o him and he sez they s=ck and their tent audience is low and leaves as if they dont make money they go under

a pickpocket is fingered ans slips the wallet into chaplins pocket so when srarched he dont have it on him and tails chapl;in to try to get it back

chaplin emtertains a kid who feeds him a chocolate thing and when the pickpocket grabs the walet fom him, the cop nabs him with his hand in his pants

the cop returns the wallet to chaplin and hes surprised at all the money and bys food as the pckpocket is taken away and knocks over a cop to escape

the owner gets the wallet back and calls the cops and chaplin escaps nt a hal of mirrors, which i gotta saym, must be hard to film w/o getting he camera in

piclpocket gets in the hall after chaplin not nowing he ddont got it and aftersome chaos, chaplin escapes as th op outside sees him

chaplin fakes being a decoration on a piate ship and pickpocket gets him but both falew being decorations w/ chaplin beating his head but the gut blacks out and cops nab hm

chaplin gets to the hirror mwze but the cop gets him and in the chaosgets ot and this is how looney toons got the ideas

in the circs chaplingets on a spinning thin ad is chased by a cop but laps him and falls to nock him oer and runs, to the audience joy

the show goes on and we get a magic act where this non black magician n attack moe makes a chick vanish and in the bosx next to her is chaplin who runs back in and comes out of yhr blanket

he goes back out he door and the chick is in the blanket and cop comes at her and chaplin escapes and evades the cop

the other cop w/ pick pocket finds the chaplin who returns the wallwt and hides behind the tent

the clowns come on and guys say they s=ck and want chaplin back calling him da funny man and after the show the clowns out of make up eatand wanna share food with chick but she sez dad wont let her

u want her to be a fatty like the chicks on thr leatning channel/instagram/onlyfans?

dad takes the food and fnds chaplin and offers him a job and next day chaplin is cooking some cr-p and chases a chicken but doesnt choake it

he gets an egg and bread and when he goes of thw chick comes out and eats it but chsaplin retins an is mad andknocks over his cooking pot

he invotes her over and shares food and she sez she lives here and after a talk wthdad, cahopln gave the egg he coked to chick

he does a try out where he walks around like a homie and dad ringmaster sez he s-cked and is shown how to act by the clowns who hhe said s-cked b4 ad 2 do a bow and arrow thing with an apple and they keep eating it.

chaplin laghts and when he goes up and falls out of the ring, then is told to eat the apple on his head but donr like it and eats a banana that was in his pocket and hpefully not a mans a55

they they do the barber act of a guy between 2 barbers who keeps going between chairs  d devoves to lubing p with shaving cream

chaplin laghs and they give him a try and when doing it plays the barber and keeps dodging theshaving cream until hes totally face lubedand spazzes out and while gets cream in his bosses face

the dad spazzes oput and throws him out and when he leaves this wild a55 comes at him and he runs until a traner gets it

he meets the chick and has the goo on his fae and  she hekps him clean off then the show starts and he sez hes going but she sez thnx for the egg and goes in as the a55 comes for him again

so the workers had enough of the boss and quit and chamlimis looking in a hole in thecircus tents a55 to see the chick

1 guy brings backchaplin and tells hi to have the jo and he cleans up the plstes but the a55 comes at him and he runs and people laugh

The table flips and teres only holes in the table and no thng holding the animals in so them carrying it in had no way to keep the animals there

he goes back and is told to bring oyt a table and not press a button on it andwhen he does, all these birds come outta the hats on the table and he tries tohandle em

the property guy sez hes the worst property man but a hit and dont know it and the circs does well

later the chick is in a harness and high and chaplin throws food to her and she didnt catch it cuz girls s-ck at spirts and it face pies a guy

dad gets mad and tells the property guy not to let chailm know hes th star

after cleaning the fish he tries blowing a pill in a ube into a horses mouth and not its a55 and he swallows it and spazzes out

he runs into the lion cage and is locked in by is own jacka55ery and sneaks around to get out the othe rdoor but theres a tiger on the other side

a dog comes by and barks at chaplin as dogs are subhuman filth and belong in a korean bbq and chick comes and when he tells her to open the door she faints as women s-ck at things

the lion wakes u and starts b0ning him as he scrteams and starts liking it

jk really it comes to him and goes back and rolls around like its mentally challenged and eventually chick pens the door and lets him out and he plays it cook and acts bada55 at the lion

it roars at him andhe runs and climbs to the top of a pole and acts cool and slides down

he taks with her and acts cool but a cat comes by and freaks him out and property guy comes by wanting the pill and kicks his a55 to make him barf it out like hitting 1 end of the tract and the shockwave moves it out him

she sez its gay he works hard and is the star of the show and the corwds love him  and dad comes by and beats his daughter for being cr-ppy

chaplin sez if he keeps hitting her he'd qut and he wants what hes worth and sez 50$ a week and they settle for 100 after haggling

the show is comming on and a fortune teller sez chick willmarry a dark stranger and he is prancing aroun gayly

a dapper guy i a suit comes by and chick likes her i mean him and chaplin asks a clown for his ring for 5$

she tells the fortune teller(witchcraft) she met him, a tightrope walker, and champin hears and gets bummed

he walks to the woods and jumps off the cliff the thing is next to and the scene fades out

jk really he does the donkey thing an dafter it he does cr-ppy and when he sees the dapper guy is talking with chick he imagines beating his a55 with an image of him stepping out of himself as a  clone like dbz and goj g back in like a stand in jojo but i never saw that

chimplin and chick watch the dapper guy do the tightrope thing and do jums high up as champin hopes he falls and dies as he wants the girl

what a ood guy, wishing for an innocents death for his own personal gain

so he takes off his coat and goes aorund in a speedo and shows and rides a bike down the rope and i think the speedo is leather

so later champin wants to try tightrope walking and practices on a rope a few feet off the orund

boss sez to be funny again or he's out ad his next perfomance s-cked

the dad has enought of this and puts a shot gun in his face and sez "ur dead bone head"

jk really he sez he gets 1 chance left an throws his daughte to the ground

but the tightrope guy is out and boss has champin do the act or he's out and hegets dressed

chick runs off and boss dad sez to a guy to follow her and  properety guy sez champin will die but boss sez hes got him insured

clown sez to take his time and they got an other act aftr getting ready and champin goes out and chick sez he'd bit it but he thinks he'd be ok

chimplin has a guy rig a harness on his back with a wire to pull him up if he falls and help him jump higher

chick comes back and sez dont do this and he spazzes out with the wire hitting a power thing and i guess this is in the 20s and and a clown comes out with claminp tights but hes on and goes up dressed like Tuxedo Mask in Sailor oon

he climbs up the riope on 2 hands with his legs hroizantal like the manmbo and theres a monkeyu up there spazzing out and sh-tting it up

champ,ojn does tricks ie a hand stand and climbing and posing like a break dancer then uses a long pole and balances on it by laying it on the rope

the haress comes off anmd campin dont notce amd goofs about but eventually walks backwards

but monkeys come at him and crawl on him with their filth covered hands and put wrap aroun his face and remove his pants

1 unhinges the trapeeze and it swings down and knocks him out but he leans n the pole against the tent wall and after falling, crawls on the underside of the rope on a bike and rides down and into a store across the street

i just ralized as typing that that this movie was never intended to be revewed the way I do it

dad trhrrows around the daughter and champin comes back and fights him andgets thrown out

later its night and champin is by a campfire and chick comes to see him andran away from the circus to join home as she's tired of her dad beating her

she wants him to take her with him and at the circus the dad boss wants to find her

champin tells tight rope a55 dapper diaper that she ran away and gives him a ring

the next da chaplin is htoewing rce and chick maired dapper guy and at the circus he sez shes his now and boss who looks ethnic has to be nice to her

heshoves champins a55 off and wants dapper guy to keep up the show and woman chick sez to bring champin and he agree and gives him the a55 end wagon

the cricus wagons go off like gypsy wagons foing to anothern slavic land to steal from and sodomize and cham=pin is left behind in the circle the circis was in

he picks up a piece of circus paper from the hoop jup through and walks off into the background and the camer closes around him

the  end

thats quuite good

classic chaplin humor and heart

its got good gags and you feel for some characters

the stunts are fun and its well fulmed

nothing wrong with it and its got a few clever ideas that i didnt see coming

the dapper guys coming outta nowhere and not really having much personality built up, but just showing up and helping was like overload in transformers armada but its ok

its only like an hour and is pretty clean and wholesome with the chaplin laugh and teas thing

glad i saw it again, it holds up

For the circus 2 I want it to be about the circs going around as the chick is made to eat by her dad as punishment for failure and staring her dont work. eventual;ly she's too big to walk and is the fat lady and they go around finding more freaks and become a freak show. Also its a n 8 bit point and clicjk adventure on sega master system and game gear, game boy and nes, tg16 and atari lynx and jaguar i mean 7800 where you play as the dad/boss and have min games of feeding her and going around town to scout for new freaks

The Outriders Review

 Note: i spell bad but i;m not outed

The Outriders

This is my review on The Outriders from he distant future year to american hero Jefferson Davis of 1950(80 years befoe the 2nd Robotech War)

Its  directed by Roy Rowland who did nothing I saw

It stars Joel McCrea from Torrent\Dynamite\Bird of Paradise\The Most Dangerous Game\The First Texan, Arlene Dahl from nothing I saw but her son was Lorenzo Lamas from Snake Eater 2 The Drug Buster, Barry Sullivan fro0m Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here\Oh, G=d!, Claude Jarman Jr. from The Yearling, the occult commie James Whitmore fom The Red Badge of Courage\Them!\the 60s The Twilight Zone\Planet of the Apes 001\The Shawshank Redemption, Ramon Novarro from the GOOD The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse\the 20s The Prisoner of Zenda\the 20s Scaramouche\Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ\The Student Prince, Jeff Corey from Miracle on 34th Street\InCold Blood\Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid\Beneath the Planet of the Apes\Little Big Man\Oh, G=d!\The Wild Geese\Conan the Destroyer\Fist of the North Star the 80s movie\Star Trek\Little House on the Prairie\Spider-Man: The Animated Series, Ted de Corsia from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea\Spartacus, Martin Garralaga from The Charge of the Light Brigade/Casablanca\The Outlaw\For Whom the Bell Tolls\Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla\The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Harry Tenbrook from Coney Island\The Mysterious Island\Scarface\20,000 Years in Sing Sing\King Kong\Son of Kong/the 30s The Count of Monte Cristo\Mary of Scotland\Stagecoach\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\The Shadow\The Grapes of Wrath\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Abilene Town\Fort Apach\Santa Fe\Singin' in the Rain\The Quiet Man\Calamity Jane\Inherit the Wind.

I never saw this b4 but joel is pretty good

so its ij color and proper fullscreen and by mgm adna after title and credis we get text saying its a camp in missouri in the last yar of the alleged civil war

the honorable confederates are sent on a walk as they are said to be filthy and are prisoners of the evil union

the unionites end the confederate heroes to this pond to clean off and 2 come up to a guard as a third gets him from beind and they ice him

they escape and and hounds are heard and they go through a water thing then 2 wanna go back to their units to aid the confederacy but main guy by jo el wants get back to new orleans where tommy wuiseau is from and live

they hide in a barn and jack soem clothes and come across a cabin and the people share breakfast in the afternoon

the cabin dad sez some guys bushwacked these guys and it was murder, but when asked why the men aint in uniforme, 1 guy sez he was wounded and dad mentions the prison break and goes to feed the hogs

after he rides off the trio hears and takes mom at knifepoint and asks how he knew and son from the yearling sez "you lalled it pittsburg landing where u was caught and yankees call it shiloh"

candy a55 norway rated this 16+ and soviet germany was 12+ while back door sweden was 15+

so the trio goes after the dad and1 of em f'd out and fell off his horse cuz hes croppled or w/e so they send the horses off andhide in the plants as the yankees run by

then they turn around and seea buncha cowboys andare taken by them toa place by a cave and meet the leader whos on their side and they are happy

after saying how they got in the war and the group was irreguals who went raiding and leader inites em to join but hints he'd ice em if they didnt

they talk on if they otta join as leader is raiding villages and 1 guy sez his boy got it at the war dawn

some guys come back after being wounded in something but i wasnt paying attention. also soon a texas guy is comming with a million $ in gold and leader wants em to jack it for the glory of the confederacyy as 1 of em nows the area

so the trio goes off and wanna see chicks and dancers and eventually get to ton and see a chick speaking mexican and offer to help this mexico get past the apache but are turned down and told if they come in 200 yards they get fired on

they plan an ambush but thre apache attack and the cowboys i mean trio attacks and kicks up a lot of dust like d w griffith to make it hard to see how many there are and save the wagon guys and are thanked and welcomed in as b4 the wagon guys couldnt be sure as they were strangers

later the mexico speaking chick sez her man got it in the war and shes got a guy who helps protect her as she goes to some place

so at night the guy is young and ut on guard duty and as it storms and rains he fires on something and it spooked the horses and they spazz out and run

after collecting the horses all night the men want sleep butthe opawnee dont sleep so they get 30 mins to handle things

main guy takes the heat for firing the shot and his non crippled homie wants him not to go after the chick as he wants to keep him himself and i hpe dont wanna b0ne him like brokeback mountain

the convoy goes on and is tired but its pawnee country and they come across a swarm of indians who wants calico then intead wants 10 ponys as i guess they like my little pony and wanna b0ne em

they give em 10 then he wants the rest and i think hes being mugged by these malontents

so they give up their ponies to the red man as they dont wanna be skinned and eaten andontinue on their way

at night the guys are bummed and they have booze and get drunk and dance and some guys play the chciksin the dance which isn a bit suspect

also alcohol makes you do things you'd normally not do, so after a few drinks, you wake up the next day, in bed with 15 guys! You: What did we do?! guy: What DISN'T we do?! (Smkes igarrette with his butt)

later the 1 chick comes out and the guys dance with her one by one and its clean and not b0ning but the main guy is malcontent over it

so main guy dances with the chick andshe likes him and later not crippled guy sez main guy is being distracted from his mission and when he sez a dead girl is in the way he slugs non cripple and non cripple sez he ant let him behind him as he cant trust main guy

in day light they go on an the river has the runs and is overflowing and they camp by it

main guy i think wants to use a rope and a raft on it across the river to  pull the cr-p across and he sez he cant swim and they chp down trees and he rides a horse across with a rope as horses can swim and this means bikini beach ps of my little pony with the horse babes in skimpy swinsuits andfighting tentacle monsters like in anime

so thy use the rope to pull the raft wityh horses and cr-p on it and as they bring 1 over a log nails the raft and knockes the cart in the river

the men leave the last wagon behind and ride horses in the water like a river horse or hippopotamus and as the young guy who was on guard and the main chiks ally ro w/e goes across, his horse wiggs out and he falls in the river  and was swept off

dont worry, we didnt find the body so he's gonna come back in the sequel and be manlier and want revenge like the guys in saint seiya

main guy comforts the chick whos bummed her homie went to h e double soviet california and latwr the guys are going along and meet a man who tells em the wars over and Amercia lost

many cleebr8 and da trio is bun=mmed and non crippled guy sez the leader is gonna be a renegade like john brown and attack for fun instead of using the Flag of the South to cover his attacks and is a bandit

main guy gets non cripple at gunpoint for wanting to get the money for himself and crippled homie  wanted to stll raid the thing and split the mney woth cripple but cripple thinks non cripple would cap him

they tie up non cripled homie and come out to the convoy they were leading em into a trap and the mexicoes are mad they were gonna be f;d but they have main guy ride ahead of em as they go on another way

the leaders guys attack and theres a chase and eventually the wagons stop and stand their ground for a gunfight

the riaders run off and main guy ez the raiders werent expecting  fight but wanted a night raid shadow legends with the crew asleep

the leader i tink comes across with a white flag and offers a reasonable exchange  and kidney cripple caps him from the trench and a hockey game breaks out

lader of the convoy gets it and the priest does a Catholic thing for his soul

non cripple sez now theres a bigger share for the survuvors and offers a scuzzy guy a piece of the action an scuzzo cuts him fre

main guy wants to loop around and get em from behind and main guy finds scuzzmo with a knife in his back and the cut ropes

later its tinted to be night and some guys sneak across to ice the enemy and when the enemy comes they open fire on em

main guy and crippled guy come in the woods and cap someone who sez its non crippled guy who claims to be shot in the gut and wants water, so when he asks how many shots his got, he sez none no mail guy empties his gun into him and finds he had several shots left

then main guy coems back and crippled guy didnt get it which i kinda thought he would and main guy smooches the only chick in the movie as he dont wanna go prison gay.

the end\

That was pretty good

nice story thats clean and interesting with good characters

Good coloring and effects with ni ce action

goes by at a good rate w/ less drag and good flow

holds atention and has nice feel with a gocool side srtory to the alleged civil war

i like how its not like modern revisionist things making the civil war about slavery and the evil south and innocent north

good thing on past friends falli g out and unlike most thi gs they dont reconsile but 1 bites it

its got some roughin but feels lighter and not dark/depressing

For The Outriders II I want it to be about theyoung guy who was swept off in the river and how he went into an underground cave with and found an inner city thats connected to the sea tby underground caves andhas jellyfish people that wavva vicisect him, but he rebukes them in wth Holy Words and they recoil as they are actually sea daemons frinm the hollow earth. also its a 128 bit adventure game like Castlevania 64 but good like Castlevania Legacy Of Darkness on Dreamcast/GameCube/PS2/XboX where you use holy words to rebuke and fight off the jellyfish people to get through the underground city and rig it to self detonate to send em back to h e double california and get out b4 it blows.