The Outriders Review

 Note: i spell bad but i;m not outed

The Outriders

This is my review on The Outriders from he distant future year to american hero Jefferson Davis of 1950(80 years befoe the 2nd Robotech War)

Its  directed by Roy Rowland who did nothing I saw

It stars Joel McCrea from Torrent\Dynamite\Bird of Paradise\The Most Dangerous Game\The First Texan, Arlene Dahl from nothing I saw but her son was Lorenzo Lamas from Snake Eater 2 The Drug Buster, Barry Sullivan fro0m Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here\Oh, G=d!, Claude Jarman Jr. from The Yearling, the occult commie James Whitmore fom The Red Badge of Courage\Them!\the 60s The Twilight Zone\Planet of the Apes 001\The Shawshank Redemption, Ramon Novarro from the GOOD The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse\the 20s The Prisoner of Zenda\the 20s Scaramouche\Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ\The Student Prince, Jeff Corey from Miracle on 34th Street\InCold Blood\Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid\Beneath the Planet of the Apes\Little Big Man\Oh, G=d!\The Wild Geese\Conan the Destroyer\Fist of the North Star the 80s movie\Star Trek\Little House on the Prairie\Spider-Man: The Animated Series, Ted de Corsia from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea\Spartacus, Martin Garralaga from The Charge of the Light Brigade/Casablanca\The Outlaw\For Whom the Bell Tolls\Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla\The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Harry Tenbrook from Coney Island\The Mysterious Island\Scarface\20,000 Years in Sing Sing\King Kong\Son of Kong/the 30s The Count of Monte Cristo\Mary of Scotland\Stagecoach\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\The Shadow\The Grapes of Wrath\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Abilene Town\Fort Apach\Santa Fe\Singin' in the Rain\The Quiet Man\Calamity Jane\Inherit the Wind.

I never saw this b4 but joel is pretty good

so its ij color and proper fullscreen and by mgm adna after title and credis we get text saying its a camp in missouri in the last yar of the alleged civil war

the honorable confederates are sent on a walk as they are said to be filthy and are prisoners of the evil union

the unionites end the confederate heroes to this pond to clean off and 2 come up to a guard as a third gets him from beind and they ice him

they escape and and hounds are heard and they go through a water thing then 2 wanna go back to their units to aid the confederacy but main guy by jo el wants get back to new orleans where tommy wuiseau is from and live

they hide in a barn and jack soem clothes and come across a cabin and the people share breakfast in the afternoon

the cabin dad sez some guys bushwacked these guys and it was murder, but when asked why the men aint in uniforme, 1 guy sez he was wounded and dad mentions the prison break and goes to feed the hogs

after he rides off the trio hears and takes mom at knifepoint and asks how he knew and son from the yearling sez "you lalled it pittsburg landing where u was caught and yankees call it shiloh"

candy a55 norway rated this 16+ and soviet germany was 12+ while back door sweden was 15+

so the trio goes after the dad and1 of em f'd out and fell off his horse cuz hes croppled or w/e so they send the horses off andhide in the plants as the yankees run by

then they turn around and seea buncha cowboys andare taken by them toa place by a cave and meet the leader whos on their side and they are happy

after saying how they got in the war and the group was irreguals who went raiding and leader inites em to join but hints he'd ice em if they didnt

they talk on if they otta join as leader is raiding villages and 1 guy sez his boy got it at the war dawn

some guys come back after being wounded in something but i wasnt paying attention. also soon a texas guy is comming with a million $ in gold and leader wants em to jack it for the glory of the confederacyy as 1 of em nows the area

so the trio goes off and wanna see chicks and dancers and eventually get to ton and see a chick speaking mexican and offer to help this mexico get past the apache but are turned down and told if they come in 200 yards they get fired on

they plan an ambush but thre apache attack and the cowboys i mean trio attacks and kicks up a lot of dust like d w griffith to make it hard to see how many there are and save the wagon guys and are thanked and welcomed in as b4 the wagon guys couldnt be sure as they were strangers

later the mexico speaking chick sez her man got it in the war and shes got a guy who helps protect her as she goes to some place

so at night the guy is young and ut on guard duty and as it storms and rains he fires on something and it spooked the horses and they spazz out and run

after collecting the horses all night the men want sleep butthe opawnee dont sleep so they get 30 mins to handle things

main guy takes the heat for firing the shot and his non crippled homie wants him not to go after the chick as he wants to keep him himself and i hpe dont wanna b0ne him like brokeback mountain

the convoy goes on and is tired but its pawnee country and they come across a swarm of indians who wants calico then intead wants 10 ponys as i guess they like my little pony and wanna b0ne em

they give em 10 then he wants the rest and i think hes being mugged by these malontents

so they give up their ponies to the red man as they dont wanna be skinned and eaten andontinue on their way

at night the guys are bummed and they have booze and get drunk and dance and some guys play the chciksin the dance which isn a bit suspect

also alcohol makes you do things you'd normally not do, so after a few drinks, you wake up the next day, in bed with 15 guys! You: What did we do?! guy: What DISN'T we do?! (Smkes igarrette with his butt)

later the 1 chick comes out and the guys dance with her one by one and its clean and not b0ning but the main guy is malcontent over it

so main guy dances with the chick andshe likes him and later not crippled guy sez main guy is being distracted from his mission and when he sez a dead girl is in the way he slugs non cripple and non cripple sez he ant let him behind him as he cant trust main guy

in day light they go on an the river has the runs and is overflowing and they camp by it

main guy i think wants to use a rope and a raft on it across the river to  pull the cr-p across and he sez he cant swim and they chp down trees and he rides a horse across with a rope as horses can swim and this means bikini beach ps of my little pony with the horse babes in skimpy swinsuits andfighting tentacle monsters like in anime

so thy use the rope to pull the raft wityh horses and cr-p on it and as they bring 1 over a log nails the raft and knockes the cart in the river

the men leave the last wagon behind and ride horses in the water like a river horse or hippopotamus and as the young guy who was on guard and the main chiks ally ro w/e goes across, his horse wiggs out and he falls in the river  and was swept off

dont worry, we didnt find the body so he's gonna come back in the sequel and be manlier and want revenge like the guys in saint seiya

main guy comforts the chick whos bummed her homie went to h e double soviet california and latwr the guys are going along and meet a man who tells em the wars over and Amercia lost

many cleebr8 and da trio is bun=mmed and non crippled guy sez the leader is gonna be a renegade like john brown and attack for fun instead of using the Flag of the South to cover his attacks and is a bandit

main guy gets non cripple at gunpoint for wanting to get the money for himself and crippled homie  wanted to stll raid the thing and split the mney woth cripple but cripple thinks non cripple would cap him

they tie up non cripled homie and come out to the convoy they were leading em into a trap and the mexicoes are mad they were gonna be f;d but they have main guy ride ahead of em as they go on another way

the leaders guys attack and theres a chase and eventually the wagons stop and stand their ground for a gunfight

the riaders run off and main guy ez the raiders werent expecting  fight but wanted a night raid shadow legends with the crew asleep

the leader i tink comes across with a white flag and offers a reasonable exchange  and kidney cripple caps him from the trench and a hockey game breaks out

lader of the convoy gets it and the priest does a Catholic thing for his soul

non cripple sez now theres a bigger share for the survuvors and offers a scuzzy guy a piece of the action an scuzzo cuts him fre

main guy wants to loop around and get em from behind and main guy finds scuzzmo with a knife in his back and the cut ropes

later its tinted to be night and some guys sneak across to ice the enemy and when the enemy comes they open fire on em

main guy and crippled guy come in the woods and cap someone who sez its non crippled guy who claims to be shot in the gut and wants water, so when he asks how many shots his got, he sez none no mail guy empties his gun into him and finds he had several shots left

then main guy coems back and crippled guy didnt get it which i kinda thought he would and main guy smooches the only chick in the movie as he dont wanna go prison gay.

the end\

That was pretty good

nice story thats clean and interesting with good characters

Good coloring and effects with ni ce action

goes by at a good rate w/ less drag and good flow

holds atention and has nice feel with a gocool side srtory to the alleged civil war

i like how its not like modern revisionist things making the civil war about slavery and the evil south and innocent north

good thing on past friends falli g out and unlike most thi gs they dont reconsile but 1 bites it

its got some roughin but feels lighter and not dark/depressing

For The Outriders II I want it to be about theyoung guy who was swept off in the river and how he went into an underground cave with and found an inner city thats connected to the sea tby underground caves andhas jellyfish people that wavva vicisect him, but he rebukes them in wth Holy Words and they recoil as they are actually sea daemons frinm the hollow earth. also its a 128 bit adventure game like Castlevania 64 but good like Castlevania Legacy Of Darkness on Dreamcast/GameCube/PS2/XboX where you use holy words to rebuke and fight off the jellyfish people to get through the underground city and rig it to self detonate to send em back to h e double california and get out b4 it blows.