The Last Bandit Review

 Note: I spell like I record off Banduicam

The Last Bandit

This is mt review on The Last Bandit from the distant future year to Tojo of 1949(50 years before the sdf-1 ended the global civil war in Robotech)

Its directed by Joseph Kane who did nothing i saw

it stars Wild Bill Elliott aka billy eliot from the Red Ryder things, Lorna Gray from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Forrest Tucker from The Yearling/Chisum/Fort Massacre, Andy Devine from the 20s Noah's Ark\30s Romeo and Juliet\30s A Star Is Born\30s Stagecoach\The Red Badge of Courage\the 50s Around the World in 80 Days\The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World\The ballad of Josie\the 73 Robin Hood\60s The Twilight Zone\60s Batman/Myra Breckenridge, Jack Holt from Black Moon/San Francisco/Cat People, Minna Gombell from the 39 The Hunchback of Notre Dame/The Snake Pit, Grant Withers from nothing I saw, Virginia Brissac from the 39 Jesse James/The Snake Pit/Rebel Without a Cause, Possible Pole Stanley Andrews from Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/Kit Carson/The Westerner/The Son of Monte Cristo/The Ox-Bow Incident/It's a Wonderful Life/the 49 Samson and Delilah, Martin Garralaga from Casablanca/The Outlaw/For Whom the Bell Tolls/Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla/The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Joseph Crehan from The Big Sleep/Deadline - U.S.A./Judgment at Nuremberg, Charles Brown Middleton (Charlie Brown?) from The Hatchet Man/I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang/the 33 The Three Musketeers/Duck Soup/The Good Earth/39 Jesse James/Gone with the Wind/The Grapes of Wrath/Santa Fe Trail/Sergeant York, and some guys not on back door, candy a55, beta male, aids bag, soy boy, banana crammer, cripple nipple, Sodom bottom, queer as a deer with a steer in his rear, hippie stoer vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants wikipefia which thinks global warming is real but the 2020 thing wasm't fxed.

I never saw this b4 but its a remake of 1941s The Great Train Robbery and later remade in 1952 as South Pacific Trail. either ive seen, bt i did see theoriginal 1900s great train robbery.

after logo ad credits in 40s color of a book opening and showing pages of crediys  lol music dale butts, we get a narrator saying brave men aint forgotten and frank amd jim plumber were 2 of these and in the Ozarks of misouri jim was gonna get married and invited his fam and droogs

we see a guy doinf 1800s breakdancing we hear an old lady sauing to her daughter not to marry jim cuz hes an outlaw and don't got avings and she dont really love him but mom won't give her blessings

a moystache guy tells her a letter from winnie mcfail sed theres look all over this area and frank is working for a bad guy and main chic sez frank went straight like james wants to in pokemon

mountache wants her him weoinne and frank to make money there but she wants to bring jim but he dont wanna but a priest is coming and theres nt much time

moustache comes to the party andtells jim she left hinm for another guy and he thinks moustache did it and beats out moustache so he leaves and jim sez don't come back or ypu'll gert worse

the letter dropped by moustache from mcfail is read by jim and he wants to go for it in Nevada which i think was where road rash was on sega

they got a price on em but wanna ho anyway and chick gets there by train and goes in a saloon but a guy tells her women aint allowed w/o an escort as they cause troupble

she meets winnie mcfail and sez her dad was lex like lang or Luthor and she sez she looks like him and ued to be b0ning her dad b4 da mom

she talx with her about getting a job and takes a bubbl bath with plenty of bubbles like Cutey Honey and gets a dress from ewinny

they talk about jim whos reformed and a straight arrow and has 1 glass of beer and plays poer with his railroad pals

winnie shows em some guys at a cardgame and she merts frank wo sez hes Morrie and i think its plumber and they fance

also tis has guys talking fast and goes by fast but is only 80 mins but on Grit is 2 hours with adds

jim goes to rob a coach in front of a background and 1 guy has cigar samples and i think moystache guy is one of em and call him jim and gets slapped and sez he dont know him

they scatter horses and take cr-p and ditch em to recollect the scattered horses and ride off

chick is dating frankand andy devine likes it ase trys to take matches from a crippley guy but finds none cuz they were hidden

chick and frank look over the area and don't b0ne and he sez the people gotta civilize it but she sez if the railroad comes y then he'd get paid less

he sez theres a big shipment coming and she asks if he wants to get a lot of money to get rich but with her he sez hes the richeset and smooches her but she books it

home alone 2: you were here, and you were smoochin my brother!

holy crp we're hslf an hour in, thact whizzed by

she goes to the saloon andmeets winnie and in the room is jim and she admits the plan for the money was for winnie/er/miustache/frank but she claims to be intojim still

a love triangle, like rick lisa andminmei, or mina tigers eye and hawks eye, or serena darien and rini

jim comes in and finds jim and that she's jims woman who came to get fran to help him rob the gold andhe'd be jims

they fight like its a 40s movie andeventually the owner sez to calm it down or the shrfif will get emand he opens the door so the fight and fall off the balcony and bust a table

franks ok, jim's busted and frabk lwaves and the cart with the robbed guys comes by and sez jim plumber attacked and the plumber boys are back

sherrif sezfrank looks beat yup and frabk sez he dbont know who fid it and thought he was his riend

frank tells andy called casey he's ditching as if word gets out he hired frank plumber for god he's get fired but any sez franks dad aided him and he trusts him and frank knows the bad uys tricks

btw, frank and jim, or james, like frank and jesse james who wre Confederates and not in the union nor european union nor soviet union

wait, frank Norris? the author? what year is this take place?

He did McTeague wgich Erich Von Stroheim made into Greed which was one of the bet films eve

so chick and mcfail come byims shed and talk of where to stick up the train by where theres no ranches but the vault is solid steel and frank wont open it

then frank comes by and jim invited him but frank sezhe's gonna guard the gold and giveji 3000 dollars to buy him off and et him go to sovuet California and start again as a good guy

jim wants to bring chick names kate andfrank is ok with it but kate isn't andfrank goes

jim gies the money to a goon to buy blasting powder and is gonna steal it anyway but kate wants him to not betray him cuz frank worked hard for it

mcfail sez theres a wind that  blows sand on the tack and they wanna trick t into another tack to an abandoned mineshaft from 20 years ago

frank took out hs hole savings and 1 guy i think sherrif sees a wanted poster for the plummer boys and puts out a call to loomk into it

mcfail sez on august 4 theres a thing of 1 million dollars like dr evil and a calandar sez its august 4 1870

we're an hour in, that felt like nothing

kate sings a love songlike all these movies got in the saloon and eventually frank comes in anmd meets moustache who sez a gang sipped town t canda5 California

jim dancers with her and the pople andsez hes handling the train and she asks mcfail about what'll happen if they find him and is told they'd cap him if he tries to stop em

she goes to her room and ncfail loxks her in and he makes a rope outta bedsheets to climb out the wibdow

so i was reading tweets on blue sky from beta males and andy's boss suspected frank of tring to rob the train and tried to arrest him but kate aims a gun at him and makes him jum as mousta che gets on the train

boss sez to andy frank is trying to rb the train and andy deenceds him

frank sez he dont know the combination but she sez they'd ice hm if he dont do it and moustache clims over the train andcaps a drier but frank follows and trys to stop him ut gets capped

wait i thinkthe guy he capped was jis partmet andwait it wasn't its frank andthe train stops and the gang comes on and geys the capped guy wo was grazed but ko'edin the frot and drives on w/o the staff on the train

the boss sherrif sends a train to bust the train stolen as its easier to lose a 50 000 $ train than a mollion in gold

fank i think gets up andbeats out te guard on the engine cpntrols and  mves on but jim moves the train to another track to escape and change the rack bacl so the followers dont notice

sherrif finds the train gys dumped off and the gang moves the train on the sanded over tracks and recoes the track  and thers another frank in the gang

sogood frank goes around outse andwe see th train going in the cave like a poop goinf backwards in the a55

1 guy sez frank fell out in a fight and was out kold and they get the blasting powder and the andy and sherrif tinks the train line goes soon to the next station or nexus

jim gets kate out the cart and has her tied up so she dont esca as shes his fururd wfe like tommy wiseau

half an hour left, this is going fast.

also despiyr it being clearly bright blue skies of day they tinted it to fake night

sherrif gets to the station and fibds the stolen train didn't show up and this Mexico sezhe was told something nut it didn't show up and he has a recipt and the rail guy sherrif owes him 1 million $

sherrif or boss or w/e accuses em of conspiring to end him nd his railroadand take em over bt Mexico sez the thing seems like an insie job

the gang blows the safe and it avalanches the area oer the hole in the walls a55

shrrf sez the station or line or w/e is in cahoots with the plimbers and wants to catch the crooks to prove it

frank, but i wanna say kvi comws by this opening and the gan is carring out gpd in to a wagon and sneaks in to free chick kae

the gang fids kate is gone andgoes after em but they drive the rain out w/o having to power it up or have the fire brn or w/e

it busts through the rocks as like how superman is more powrful than a locomotive and escapes

jim betras mystache ed after not needing him now andcaps him when ed tris to cap him

sherri and andy find frank and he sez the gang has the gold but sherri thinsfrank too it bt andy defens him and they go tob get the gold

the baddz are on a carf of horses and theres a caseacros the wasteland lie hokuto no ken and the heroes fid the gang adfollow

jim diches the gold and chick issaved from te wagon by frank and it falls over

hey chase the gang adfire on em til they get to a star rek hill of rock and fre on each orher with a few falling

no dialogue, ony action, like a 20 film

jim gets capped and falls and they find hi sp-lattere like a pica ocket busted, jk really hes ok and bites it

frank sez chick wasn't part of the train robbery and it cuz of her saving jim i mean frank from being married i meanarrested and that let him stop the train heist

he takes time off to clear his charges i  misouri an marry kate

the end

tht was pretty good

goes by fast, talks fast, god actions and i like the color

its got nice music and is filmed well and ha good styple and is pretty 40s

kinda expected jim to go to h-ll ike earthworm jim gong to planet heck and frank getting the dame

i liked it and its pretty cool with a nic olde style

i like how the 2 broethers were different and like Cain and Abel but the bad one got it and the god one successfully reformed and didn't give in to temptation

like Optimus and Megatron being opposites but not brotehrs as thats non canon

For The Last Bandit 2 I want him and his woman to be going around from place to place to clear is name and doing various missions to help people. Also he fightscryptids and Indians and gajin and a a inosaur in an underground sub world. Also its a 128 bit game on GameCube, Dreamcast, ps2 and xbox where yuo go around liek in Zekda and do missions andget better items and longer life bars.