The Apartment Review

 Note; i spell like tommy wiseau

The Apartment

this is my review on The Apartment from the dustant fitie year to john wilkes booth f 1960(60 years before Transformers Super God Masterforce)'

Its directed by Billy Wilder who did Five Graves to Cairo/Double Indemnity/Sunset Boulevard/Ace in the Hole/The Seven Year Itch/Some Like It Hot/Avanti!

It stars Jack Lemmon from Some Like It Hot/The China Syndrome/J FK/Grumpy Old Men/96s Hamlet/The Simpsons/97s 12 Angry Men/99s Inherit the Wind/Tuesdays with Morrie, Shirley MacLaine from Around the World in 80 Days/Irma la Douce/Steel Magnolias/butt f==kin Glee, Fred MacMurray from Double Indemnity/The Swarm, Ray Walston from 1980: Popeye/Fast Times at Ridgemont High/1992 Of Mice and Men/Addams Family Reunion/My Favorite Martian the movie/My Favorite Martian the series/70s The Incredible Hulk/Little House on the Prairie/Star Trek: The Next Generation/Eerie, Indiana/Touched by an Angel, Jack Kruschen from The War of the Worlds/Seven Ways from Sundown/60s Cape Fear/cLintock!/Dragnet/The Rifleman/60s Batman/-The Rockford Files/70s The Incredible Hulk-Little House on the Prairie/The A-Team/Full House/Matlock/The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air/Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, David Lewis from Cleopatra Jones, Edie Adams from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad WorldUp in Smoke/Designing Women, Hope Holiday who jerry lewis j=rked off at from Li'l Abner 1959/Irma la Douce, Joan Shawlee from From Here to Eternity/50s A Star Is Born/50s A Farewell to Arms/Some Like It Hot/The Rifleman/The Dick Van Dyke Show/Irma la Douce/Willard 1, Naomi Stevens from The Twilight Zone60s /Valley of the Dolls/The Flying Nun/The Shakiest Gun in the West, Johnny Seven ()like ben 10 or kevin 11?) from On the Waterfront/The Greatest Story Ever Told, Joyce Jameson from The Outlaw Josey Wales/60s The Twilight Zone/My Favorite Martian/Andy Griffith Show/The Dick Van Dyke Show/The Rockford Files/The Waltons, Hal Smith from The Ghost and Mr. Chicken/Leave It To Beaver/The Andy Griffith Show/The Addams Family/Get Smart/Green Acres/Little House on the Prairie/Fantasy Island/Highway To Heaven/Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree/1967 The Jungle Book/Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day/Fantastic Planet/The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh/Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore/Mickey's Christmas Carol/An American Tail/1991 Beauty and the Beast/The Huckleberry Hound Show/The Bugs Bunny Show/Davey and Goliath/The Flintstones/The Yogi Bear Show/The Jetsons/Space Angel/The Magilla Gorilla Show/The Famous Adventures of Mr. Magoo/The Road Runner Show/Gumby/Scooby Doo, Where Are You!/The Tom and Jerry Show/A Flintstone Christmas/Halloween Is Grinch Night/What's New, Mr. Magoo?/The Scooby Doo Show/Yogi's First Christmas/Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You?/Yogi Bear's All Star Comedy Christmas Caper/The Smurfs/The New Scooby and Scrappy-Doo Show/The New Scooby-Doo Mysteries/Sesame Street/DuckTales/Garfield: His 9 Lives/The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh/TaleSpin/Darkwing Duck/Rugrats/Bonkers/Dragon's Lair II: Time Warp(with the thiccest blone, Eve)Zelda's Adventure on Pillips CD-I, Willard Waterman from 1950 Father of the Bride/Mister Ed/My Favorite Martian/1963 Dennis the Menace, David White from 1962 The Twilight Zone/Bewitched/The Rockford Files/1981 The Incredible Hulk/The A-Team, and some not on bavk door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, soy boy, banana crammer, cripple nipple, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, gender offender, frooty booty, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants Wikipedia, wjo surprisingly admits Rodney king was a drunk maniac when the cops brought it to him, huh, i was expecting them to say he was a victim or something. drunk drivers deserve public execution for all the damage they do.

I never saw this b4 but billy wilder is uaially good

after title and crediuts we get soviet new York and it says how many oeople there and in 59 and this guy who work on insuance and his company has more people than some citys

he stays back at the office as he has issues with his apartment and we see theres a couple staying there during the day and leaving at 8

he leaves with his gf and she lives in the Bronx and he brings dames to b0ne there but is married

main guy comes back and a chic sed she heard things in there and he cleans up the b0ning guys mess

the b0ning guy comes back and gets his bimbos shoes and sez he's gonna put in a good word for him at the company

i tink hes using his apartment for letting guys b0ne in irt, he's wh=ring it out, like gut's dad to that bad black guy in brserk

main guy gets all he liquor bottles and this jeweish guyants his body to experiment on after it dies thinking he's tough

main guy watches tv incluing grand hotel and a montage of westerns as he eats a tv dunner and has a beer a wait its an add and he turns it off from too many adds

wait til he see youtube

so later he gets a call and thus guy wants to use his lace to b0ne a marlun Monroe look a like and main guy dont wanna but is talked into it cuz the guy is at the company

he leaves a note not too loud the neighbors are complaining an leavesas the guy and his bimbo come by and he told the bimbo its his moms place and they go to b0ne for 30 mins as the jewish guy sez "mildred! hes at it again!~"

main guy jack lemmon is out on a brnch in the parkas his boss is spilling his male gender fluids on his bed

the next day he goes to work and shirly mcloon is there and cur her hair and has no colds but the average new yorker has 2.5 a year and thinks it means others get it for her

thats not how it works

he goes to his job and calls his boss saying he left the wring key and needed to come in at 4 am and got a cold being oytside and boss sez hes putting in a good word

he sucks a thermomitor and a guy gives him his key and gves him another for boss

he calls his boss and sez he needs to use his own home to rest and needs to reschedual, then calls the guy he took the place of to reschedual then the next guy for that place

they get back to him and ite sorted ou and he goes and talksshirly mcloon andhas a nice moment

he talks with a hiher up who sez theres a guy b4 who was popular and tey aided his place with vice squad

he sez he was giving his key for banquets when told his apartment key is passed around but but higher up sez i word of this leaks out it might f the company

boss is fred macmurrey and his kid calls to say he had no cavitys and jack sez he wont do it again

freddy tries to give him tickets but jack dont get what he wants and eventually sees he wabnts his apartment an sez he;s exectutie material andthe jack gives him his address

he hears a chick say she wenr to a dinks apartment with her but buddy and jack goes to shirly mcloon to invie her to the music man the movie orb play or w/e and he reveals he knows everything of her, height, weight, sin , health, address, and other thins like a stalker

she sez she has a guy but its not srs or w/e and then shes at dinner with fred who had a thing with her when his woman was away and cheeted on her even though his three sons wont approve

he wants to dump his wife and son to be with this office 5kank and she wants him but office people come by and i think 1 sees em and they go back to the apartment to b0ne

jack stays out and she dont come and when he gets to work the next day he got a pronmotion

jack dont wanna let them b0ne in his apartment anymore and his fellow higher guyswanna keep b0ning in his place and ay they made him and can break him

fred boss comes in and sends the guys out ut wants to keep b0ning in his place andjavk gives him his womas mirror she left bhind and boss fred wants a key  for him to b0ne in his place

also jack sez it woyl be unfair to ditch his wie and fred evnys jack fo being a bathelor and b0ning anyone even though he has a wife who loves im and is greedy and lusty

then its an xmas partyand people make out and its 6 weeks later and jack was avoiding shirly mcloon and he understands she had another guy

his blonde worker hints she knows shirly mcloon is b0ning the boss and not montana max or his diverse reboot monty n=gro

javk has a hat and wants to date shirly mcloon but shes not in the mood but jack talks of boss fred and not fed fuchs even thogh he f--ks her and she sees he xmas card with bosses fam

he sees her mirror and notices its broken and realizes se is the bosses wman and when the boss's wife calls he seems off

jack leaves anda a guy wants to b0ne in his home bu he looks at him and leaves

jacks given up on life abd goes t a bar ad drnks and smokes which is fatal and a broad wants him bu he don't care

i jokes when watching this hat jack would shoot te plce up, but not it seems its more than a joke

broad sez castro is an a55 hole and she wrote to castro of coviet cuba and her husband is in jail or dopinga horse as a jickey which means hes a midget and probably eaung tapeworms to say thin

she wants to heet on her man cuz hes in jail and a midget and fll f tapeworms like krillin in dbz and he dont got a free apartment to b0ne in

in the b0ningt pit apartment shirly mloon is bummed cuz i tihink bos fred was b0ning other secretatoes and he wont divorce his real wife cuz its xmas

she got his a record for xmas and thwy'd keep it here and he gies her 100 $ to buy something and its like he's paying for butt stuff

he has to get home and trim te tree and she thinks she was paid for and he sez dont think ike that and leaves her

she puts on music and crys and leaveswait shes in the bathroom anfnoices the sleeping pills  and gets a glass of water

i yhought she was gonna suicide, imagine if ahe hung herald or too a machine guy and blew her head apart

n the bar the ack dances with the castro hatr and the barkeep sends em out

cuz its lte enuff he goes to his apartment and she ez her man is 5'2 and 99lbs like a chiwawa which she's probably b0ned too

they go in and he sez hes a s=xpot and proised his body to a university which will probably use it for rituals and/or b0ning

he puts on the record and goe in his room nd sees shirly mcloon there and tells her she s=cked and get out but eventually realizes shesdead

he holds her and ez "oh shirly mcloon, you were the only one i eve lovd, and now ur dea! I'll make ure wel always be together!" then starts eating her!!

jk really he gets a neighbor r andsends the castro hater out who's mad she didnt get f'd by him

dr gets her to barf out the pills ad the jak finds the a55 i mean the note she eft ad dr injects her with liquid autism or something

dr is told he left to get anoer dame and came back to find her after a fight

dr smacks her around and gets ger smelling salts and gives her a warm drink and tells her she took pills and hi name dr dreyfuss like the guy the frech tried to frame as the French are evil

Jack gets dr ewish not to report it but he sez be a real man and javk sez there was no note

the next day this he brew hag sez there was noise all night and she runs a respecavble bulding

jack calls boss fred whos with his son who wants to put flys in a toy rocket and see if tey breed

jack calls ad wants him to come by but he can't and javk ez he kept boss outta it and ued a dr he knows to help suicide attempt shirly mcloon and boss can't come nor anna read the suicide note

sirly macloon akes up and wants to go hime but jack wont let her as he dont want her committing seppuku and hides his shaving razor

jak goes to jewish dr's place for food and wife heard from her man and hates da jack but helps the dame

she wants to call her relative but he wont let her and dr wife comes in and feeds her and comforts her iddishly

the note was the 100$ bill and she wants frd to get it and goe son about her cr-ppy love lie with her 1st kiss being in a graveyard to smoke and she kept falling in love woth thr wrong gets and theres3

she came to new York and spells bad so typing dont work and works as an elevatr dame and whines about beinf fouled up which is tv censorship for f==ked uo

also, i type bad and no oe cares

they play cards and he wins and he dont care and wants to write a note to her bosses wife but he ses she cant spell

one of his workers comes by with a broad and he wants to b0ne and he tells co worker to go and co worker understands and wants to do 4 people b0ning but outside the bmbo wants to ome in and b0ne and the jewish drs woman sees her

jack sens him out and he sees its shirly mcloon and he sees her and she wants the window opened and is bummed and he he sez its a 1 story drop and she'd only break a leg

the next after xmas boss fred tells blond chick she's fired and its revealed they were b0ning and she listens in o the call and jack offers him the 10$ and wants him to talk to shirly mcloon

he leaves her alone with the guy who drove her to suicde and goe sout for pizza like a ninja turtle

fred ants to go back to beign with her and she sez she never met him loved hi or took the pills but he wants to have her still

blne secresty calls boss freds wife and wants to meet for lunchand levesafter tells boss fred she made a personal call

jack comes in and hears his lan lady smells gas and he comes in to find she forgot to light the stove as she dont know its a cr-ppy stove with several steps like an oven with bake and broil when no one uses broiol and it only adds an exra step and you leave the pizza in the oven for 20 mins, go to get it and its frozen

she ants to go and he sez they need 48 hours to get the pills outta her system and he sez he was gonna ear his gun over a girl and dnidn;t know how to and accidently shot hself in the leg when the gun went off when a cop stopped him for ba parking

the girl had 4 kids and 20 exta lbs which is not much, toud exepecther to be like a 400lb thicc blonde like on onlyfans

at work the guys talk of howjack was with Shirley mcloon and an italiano wants help to find his sister or w/e and he comes in to fidn shirly as his sister in law and hes cooking inner for em

dr comes in and brother in law finds she took pills and beats up jack and leaves

the ack goes to the work and plans to tell boss hes gonna get the shirly an has shades for covering his black eye but finds boss's wife left him after his blonde secretary outed him and boss gets the shrilly mcloon

jak is an exectutive and gets perks liek a specil bathroom and not the kind cripples get to pop so it dont go everywhere

he meets shirly mcloon and claims he as using boss and it was his plan to get ahead in the company

they go teir seperate ways and later boss is gonna use his apartment to b0ne shirly mcloon but he don wanna

he tells jack he can be out if he dont comply which is a workplace violation and he thos him  key but its the executive key and hes done at that place

its new years eve and he's going and dr jewish comes by and wants ice and wants to stay in touch but dont charge him for the trratment of the chick which isn't realistic

at a party da boss ffed wants to go to soviet Atlantic city to b0ne the shirly mcloon and sez its jacks fault for not letting him use his apartment to jam his b0ner into the broad he wants

she sees jack is the right guy an don wnna be withthe fred mcafrica nd diteches him

also this is is b/w and in really widescreen with balck bars on a rectangle tv

she uns home annot her home but jacks hoem and hears a pop but its jack with abottle of champagn and 

imagine if he as opening the champaign bottle and looked into it as it went off and it went in his eye and into hsi brain?!

they play cards and the jack sez he loces the shirly mcloon and they start getting undressed

the end

that was well made

its got a lot of lust and b0ning but never onscreen

it starts seeming light and un but gets dark with suicide and adulrty and other evil

i never saw it before but i didn't know where this was going, but i new he wasn't gunna eat his gun cuz 60-s movies dont do that

manga often does but that came later

good acting and the music works and its got goo b/w despite eing in widescreem

one of the blodes i here actually OD's after eating a lot of pills cuz she was bummed

i thought the 50s were a more wholesome time like happy days bt this was deviant like grease with John Travolta trying to b0ne Olivia newton john wayne gacy

its a well made movie but has little morals and he throws aay a good job for a woman who b0ned a lot

he got sh-t on the whole time and took the hit for everyone who hated him

Like in The Bible, but less honoranle

actually The Bible is full of murder and demon worship and adulryty

and not only the bad guys

but History is not G rated

kinda surprised it got past the hays code

i was thinking when he went home after the boss got the girl i remembered that Beavis and Butt Head clip where Beavis said after he didn't get the chik: I'm gonna live this house and sp=nk my m=nkey the rest of my life!

Its not bad but ony appears clean by not showing the b0nig while if you pay attention its actually quite deviant

like Starship Troopers being more than a fun bug movie but a dark fascist dystopia

For The Apartment 2 I want them to be living in this slum and struggling after the boss spread work he stole his woman and used his last apartment for a lust pit. So now thy eat rats and pidgeons and dead hobos an live in a shack made of tracsh in the dump. Eventually after she cant take it and tries to eat the gun, but screws up and blows off half her face, he goes on a revenge thig and tarts a rampage throu new York fueled by pure anger built up for years of being sh=t on. he work his way through the lower slums and to the office area and takes people out and eats them for protein and gets to his office and take out all the co workers, then to his bosses home to end him, as he knows where they live from memorizing their cards. Also its an 8 bit run and gun like Contra on Sega Master System and Game Gear, Nes and GB, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 where you play as him and bust through levels in new York and the final level is the underground city where the boss summons his demon he made a pact with to get success and you gotta take out his swelling up flesh areas that burst when hit enough and then he splits inside out and dies.