The Cricket On The Hearth Review

 Noe: I smpell buggsy

The Cricket On The Hearth

This is my review on The Cricket On The Hearth from the distant future year to the Meiji Emperor, wait, he was around tl 1912, of 1090 (120 years before Robotech Season 2)

Its direded by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness/The Gibson Goddess./The Uchanging Sea/The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch.

It stars openly irish an fatal drunk Owen Moore from Intolerance/The Blackbird/The Red Mill/30s A Star Is Born, openly French but real French not Canadian French Violet Mersereau from nthing i saw, Mrs D W Griffith Linda Arvidson from A Corner In Wheat/The Unchanging Sea, Dorothy West from The Unchanging Sea/The Gibson Goddess, George Nichols(Ancestor of Louie from Robotech?) from The Gibson Goddess/The Unchanging Sea, Mack Sennett from too many to list, Harry Solter and John R. Cumpson from Romance of a Jewess, Arthur V. Johnson from Romance of a Jewess/The Gibson Goddess/The Unchanging Sea, and a few guys i never saw anything in.

Its based on a stoey by Charles Dickens i never read and was temade in the 20s but i'm not sure if thats available

huh theres also a rankin bazss one from the 60s, but this is griffth so imma do this

after the title we se a guy in i think a sailor outfit or some kinda military thng hugging his fam bye

he goes off and we see a guywait its him hug a gir and say cr-p to her

he smooches her and goes off with a pack o cr-p

 then we see a big guy hugging the girl in the home and this guy in a coat saying class handle with care wait its glass, and he waves a d0ng or somerhin by their faces

then an angry guy comes in this place and waves his hands with paper stuck to en then goes of as these old brits with 1 looking like a man sit own

a guy omes in looking like mr bean or black adder and takes the youger girl against her will as he has a bill or something i guess a property deed as she's his property

she dont wanna o with him as i guess he's a soviet or gonna b0ne her and he smooches her on the mouth with his mouth

main guy goe in the king Cedrick inn and has a ug of what i think is beer

he nearly gets in a fight with some guy yelling at another guy, then regrets it and runs off

he's in a neighborhhod and sees the guy who bought the girl he likes i think go by with more girls and i thin hes a p-mp and follows em

as the guy tries to b0ne the girl he umps on him and they fight until he picks up and rock and mashs the p-mps head with a cantelope used for it busting

jk really hw follows em devolvedly and possibly dunk

he runs of back to the bar and seems bummed but a guy ineither a coat or dress omes in andjokes around

he gives main guy a beard and they leace as a clown uggles and main guy gets on a disguise as i think a yiddish peddler

he goes out and gets a ride in a horse and wagon and gets dope off at a place

in this home he chick who got sold is a maid or slave or w/e an has a baby sgw looks after and hugs a guy who might be the one who bouht her

the main guy in disuise acomes in and they gie him coffee or tea but he spills it and  when sold girl comes to help he wispers something to her

she cleans it up andther go to a room and these 2 guys talk

k so i rewatched it and think they sld the chick cuz the paper hands guy was who they owed money and she old her or w/e

1 guy is the guy who bought her ad has eyebrows and th ther gy as sideburns an looks in to see main guy out of costume and hugging her

he tells eyebrows and is gonna go in but this lady gets their attention and chick comes out of the room

te sideburns guy has a seat and chixk tends to him but ge dont want it and she goes

he gets a gun andis gonna go in but queers out and gets a candle and puts it out then looks at the fire place

main guy gets his disguise on like Cutey Honey or Sailor Moon and meets up wth chick outside but sideburns follows but  gives up and goes bck to cry like a sissy instea of getting his woman back lik George Washington trying to reclaim his property that escaped

in the hoe the ills paper on hands guy wasis a girl looking sad and the man chic returns and i thought they were the sae one

the man ldy goes in a room and1 girl locks it and the one who was there 1st crys

other chick man chick i mean brings main guy in and he takes of his beard and they are happy

the to run out and in the house she escape from, sideburns finds some white thing on a table

the trio meets some guys in tuxedoes like Sailor Mooon but more hetero

eyebrows goes to the home to get his woman while weaing a white suit with flowers but opens the closet and finds the man lady wh tells him what happened

he smacks her with the flowers and they run out an find main guy and the chick who was gonna be sold married i think by the guys in the park

in his place, sidebura has a chick come to him and bring i think main gu and the other chic an hes gonna gp bu after seeing main guy and his wman are toether, he gets bachis gorl

the oher guys come in ans celebrate andeven i think eyebrows come in and congradulates em

the end

that wasn't bad

surprised there were no intertitles

turns out accordering to back door, aids bag, soom bottom, gender offender, cripple nipples, banana crammer, soy by, frooty booty, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, queer aS a deer with a steer in ts rear, aids of spades wikipeda, the guys sister is blind and he went to sea and was off for three years

then he ame back and his gf was gnna e marred off to an old spur puss she hated but the sideburns guy mstook main guy as his womans ex butt buddy andhe only wanted her help to get his girl

also the eyebrows sour puss saw the errr of his ways ad stopped being crotchetey

i guess this was made for people who  already knew the story o read the book

lie Yugioh games made for people who know how to play the card game

its well done but if it hd tirle cards or i had the guy describing the story and chRACTERS lik in the 1900s i' like it more

or had the programme saying who does what

its well made and has good style and filming

its got that 00s filming feel and work s and has nice costumes

i had some touuble tells apart the characters or who's what, but its still pretty cool

a sign of things to come for later Griffith Works

And Dickens did this one more lite and clean insteas of depressing like, actually i think most of his stuff has good endings

the sour puss becoming nice was from a Christmas carol

and it wasn't mostly of poors like oliver twist

glad I saw this one, its pretty good

For The Cricket On The Hearth 2 I want it to be 20 years later and they have a daughter who's a tough chick and female body builder who goes to America to help the Confederates in the Civil War. Also its an 8 bit run n gun game on Sega Master System, Game Gear, Nes, Game Boy, TG16, Atari 7800 and Lynx where you play as her and fight through Confederate Towns to get to te Yankee area and the final boss is lincon's body guard you gotta hold off for 1 minute as John Wilkes Booth takes care of business!

The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch Review

oyte: by kwyboard is cr-ppy but i stull tru

The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch

This is my review on The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch from the distant future year o George Armstrong Custer of 1912(99 years before Transformers The Heamasters)

Its direded by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness/The Gibson Goddess./The Uchanging Sea.

It stars Blanche Sweet from A Corner In Wheat/Judith Of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or Thou Shalt Not Kill, Charles West from The King of Kings/Duck Soup/The Grapes of Wrath/The Unchanging Sea, Dorothy Bernard from The House Of Darkness, Wikipedia described sodomite Harry Hyde from Judith Of Bethulia, Christy Cabanne from Judith of Bethulia/The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The House Of Darkness, William A. Carroll from Judith Of Bethulia, Frank Evans from The Musketeers of Pig Alley, Wilfred Lucas from Intolerance/Flesh and Blood/The Count of Monte Cristo 1934/Cleopatra 1934/The Devil-Doll/Mary of Scotland/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/Santa Fe Trail, W. Chrystie Miller from A Corner in Wheat/The Tender Hearted Boy(aww how nice)/Judith of Bethulia,  Opperman from Judith of Bethulia/Tillie's Punctured Romance/The House of Darkness/The Unchanging Sea, Anthony O'Sullivan from The Gibson Goddess, Alfred Paget from The Musketeers of Pig Alley/Judith of Bethulia/Intolerance/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness, W. C. Robinson from The Musketeers of Pig Alley/The Tender Hearted Boy)Judith of Bethulia/The Huuse Of Darkness, ad a few guys i n evr saw in cr-p

i never saw tis b4 but lie D W Griffith an Blanche Sweet so imma give it a shot

hu, ts basd on work by Bret Harte, the 1800s author, not the wwf guy. He did The Outcasts of Poker Flat, The Luck of Roaring Camp and Salomy Jane.

after ttle we get text sayong th goddess takes a walk nd we see  blNMCHE going around the outside by a valey or w/e

she goes through yown and the guys go wilsd and title ard sez she mets a tenderfood prospector

shw meets a nerdy guy in a uit and a hat and pick and he gows on

then title sez bluegrass pete an an opertine koment

so pete wacks a snake i think with an axe or something to save blanche and she heads home in a cabin like Birth of a Nation

She goes out and a guy looking like if tru deau was a real man comes by an they smooch as some guys walks around

he goes off and then title sez her sster frm the city visits

they hug and shes dressed fancy abd in a big a55 hat bt not an a55hat

blanche goes out to be ith her man but goes in and sister is with the man

pete comes by and wait thats her bf hes pete and brings his homie over the goes off with siuster as blanche waches em making out

in the real version they wer b0ning

she goes hme and they cone back and they see ashamed but sister  seen trying to beg for forgiveness

blanche pulls away and pulls out a gun, then fires into both of em, as they overact and die

jk really thery reconcile and blanche goes n but the suster/pete hug

blanche ges upset and spazzes out inside but nt as bad as a reditor when you point out the soviets didn't support banana crammers

he looks out abd sees sister and pete run of and blanche goes back in

suster/pete go to some plse and hes got gold i think and blanche is leaving

suster and pete go off but a guy follows em and watches em hite it then pete goes off

blanche is leacing and hears the plot to rob pete wile hiding in the ushes and the bad guys stop by to talk

but is glad pete is gonna get whats coming to him for betraying her

is his where pete from Disney came from?

cuz steam boa willies was like 16 years after this

so the bad guys come in and feel up sister and lance laughs at dat b--ch getting wats coming to er but sees the error of her ways and  freaks out and runs aving her arms like a black guy

a title cars sez petes pal was recgnizes and restrained from a desparate deed hch meas he's gona either b0ne her or wack her

sisters toed up and left there but a title csrd sez a lit cigarette forgot in the robbers haste lights up the cabin

shes gonna get burned at the stake like witchcrafters in the past earned through practicing the black arts

we see smoke filling up re area and blanche got guys from town  who get in a gunfight with the robbers and waste the bad guys

the cain burns with good effects of fire around sister that i'm ot sure how they did other than cutting between frames of fire and her

or maybe having the fire in front of te camera and her in the background

so some guy in a black hat saves sister and lance goes off with greengorn or w/e who i think fiyd gold

the end

hat was prtty good

simple and decent

nice acting and filming

typical of the era

good effects

blanche and her blonde hair worked in here

i never read the book or w/e but this was decent

it holds up and tells a decent story that was used often later with things like soap operas and Degrassi and robotech with romance and bbterayal

Glad I saw this

For The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch 2 I want the greenhorn to break into an ancient temple underground and find treasure of advanced tech, but then there's an attack by seagull people from the cloud city and he and blanche have to use that tch to fight em off. Also its an 8 it game on Sega master system, Game Gear, Nes, Game Boy, G16, Atari Lynx and 7800 where you play as Blanche and/or the greenhorn in power armor and fight through airships and sky cities and dimem=nsional areas to beat the seagull people.

The Unchanging Sea Review

Note: my splling hanges as my coputer skeyona devolved

The Unchanging Sea

This is my rev iew on The Unchanging Sea from the istant future year to Genhis Khan but not Rasputin as he was alive then, of 1910(120 years before Rootech Season 2 with Thicc Dana in that tight uniform and having shower scenes in the uncut version)

Its diredec by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness/The Gibson Goddess.

I stars Arthur V. Johnson from Romance of a Jewess/The Gobson Goddess, Gladys Egan from Romance of a Jewess/A Corner in Wheat, Mary Pickford fromn Sparrows/The Gibson Goddess, Charles West from The King of Kings/Duck Soup/The Grapes of Wrath, Dell Henderson from Intolerance, Kate Bruce from The Tender Hearted Boy(Which I never aw bt is a kind heart softening titl;e)True Heart Susie/Way Down East/The House Of Darkness, George Nichols(Ancestor of Louie from Robotech?) from The Gibson Goddess, Frank Opperman from Judith of Bethulia/Tillie's Punctured Romance/The House of Darkness, Alfred Paget from The Musketeers of Pig Alley/Judith of Bethulia/Intolerance/The Romance Of A jewess/ The House Of Darkness, Dorothy West from The Goddess, ad some guys i never saw in anuthing

I never saw this but its Griffith so its probably good

Its based on a poem by Charles Kingsley who was a socialist and evolutionist, but he hated the irish and after bi den, tru deau, ba rock and kathleen kenney ran their tings into the ground, many agree.

after a title ard and 1 saying its based on the poem te three fishers,  we get a poem talking of three fishes sailing west like journey to the west with son wukong and the pig guy born in the wrong body but didntget surgery to desroy healthy tissue

they each had gfs waiting on them in town and we see this line of houses all looking the sam as a guy and his long haired gf come out

thy run around and have fun on the beach and love each other andgo by a crowd of guys where he smooches his woman

thenthey go home and it cuts to m going to sea so i guess they b0ned

he goes off in a boats a55 and it sez a poem of men working and women crying, but they get it easy before the feminists got women to work ad ruined everything

i blme the soviets o their fans sent to ruin the 1st world

so the guys go out to sea and 1 woman stays waving and raising 1 arm like a wave or roman salute

ttle card asks will they ever return and chickgoes out again and looks at the boundlss abyss of the sea full of demons and ykai, then goes back crying

wait tat was an othr crying, this one comex up and talks to a guy

then title card sez still hopeful they'll return and more women wait by the sea

a spurm whale plows onto the beach done by a big rubber d0ng and makes spatic erkings before dying

jk but that wopul be cool

then text sez three corpses were on the sand and the chicks arw bummed and no like in prison wth the aids bags

then we see the bodes on the shore moved by the waves and more poem of women cruing

guys bring the bodies backbut  is still alive and moves but we dont see his face

the main chick as a baby now from the b0ning and goes out to the beach and looks around

then title card saying he's healthy ut lost his memory like Darien in Sailor Moon or The Other Yugi

he's brought around in a fishing outfit and a title card sez its years later

the chick has a new hairstyle and her kid is like 10 and they go to the beach where she runs around

chick talks to a man of the sea and he's still in another place fishing

then the daughter is grown and she/mom walk by the ships and daughter bumps into a guy i think is the dad

the chicks go home anf uy follows and seems confusedas he stans outside looking at it

the chics go back to the beavh and the guy sits with em and hangs with daughter

then wait i think it not the da but a bf of the girl and  i think they6 get married and he goes to sea as mom is bummed

at the sea this guy goes around and chck crys at the beach

tile card sez familiar scenes restore his meory and he meets a guy who brings him to the woman

they reconcile an hug and the film ends with a new beginning like InuYasha or Iyahaya Nantomo

The End

hat was pretty good

kind of sad but ended well and on a positive note

good acting and you could see theemotions like joy at the beach

good story and the filming was mostly done in a few places and its got a charm to it

i notice the outfits could pass for modern with fishing gear

good use of the bodies in the sea and there's a lot of White outside and hardly any dark tints

its pretty well made and simple but holds up

Griffith did well in this earlier film and its not an epic like birth of a nation but isn't trying to be

glad i saw this one

And I like how she never gave up on hm and kept coming back to the beach for years

For The Unchanging Sea 2 I want a whale to land on the beach and be spazzing out and they gotta find a way to take it out. After many attemps the monster bites it and they make it into Sushi. Also its an 8 bit game on Sega Master System, game gear an sg-1000, game boy, nes, th16, Atari 7800 and lynx where you ply as the son in law who tries different things as mini games to ice the whale and after all are done, we get a cooking one making sushi.

The Gibson Goddess Review

 Note: I spell like Mel

The Gibson Goddess

This is my revie on The Gibson Goddess from th distant future year to mary the elephant of 1909(120 years before Roboech Seaon 2)

Its directe by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness.

It stars Kate Bruce from The Tender Hearted Boy(Which I never aw bt is a kind heart softening titl;e)True Heart Susie/Way Down East, William J. Butler from Judith of Bethulia-/The House Of Darkness, Arthur V. Johnson from Romance of a Jewess, James Kirkwood from Santa Fe/I Dream of Jeanie/Two Rode Together, Mary Pickford fromn Sparrows, Billy Quirk from Intolerance, Gertrude Robinson from Judith of Bethulia, Mack Sennett from a lot, anmd a number of giys i never saw in anything or aint on back dooe, aids bag, Sodom bttom, gender offener, Creator hater, any a55 soy boy, beta male, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, liar supplier, qyer as a deer with a steer in its rear Wikipedia who thinks ibeace is queer even though he didn't identify as that but goes wuith any other made up identidy

i never saw this b but its Griffith so its proably good

after titlr we see people standing around with floppy stiks and a few chicks come by that gets the guy interested

he goes after em as does another guy anfshe goes in a building but a bumcha guys wanna go in after her

i think 1 is a midget and she leves with the guys fawning aftr her and following with 1 walkinh all swishy like a quer

she walks by guys by a hedge an more guys follow tl she sits on a bench

all the guys truy to sit on the bench but she eaves and they clash but go on

i this where Minerva Mink from Animaniacs got it from?

In Arthur is characters with double letter names like Buster Bunny and Francine Frensky, which makes me think: In their future they'd wind up with Maxi Mounds, Chelsea Charms, Pandora Peaks, Lexi Luxe, and Minerva Mink!

sge goes by a wood thing by the sea andca ailor or sea captain sees he and digs a hole in the sand for a few shovels, sits in it then goes as another guy follows

the title card sez alone at last lkw the dbz episode tansformed at last and shes by thr sea

she sits on a wood cylinder and reads and a guy omec out from underground and its the sea captain like im the simpsons but like violence jack oav 1

then a swarm of guys come from under the pier and have walking sticks as there was probably some chaotic event that damaged peoples legs in the 1800s/1900s that THEY covered up

she eventually notices shes surrounded by guys like me watching tv in my grandmas plae in the 90s an not knowing my cousins came over

she walks off and the men follow afyer standing around for a while and pbably having b0ners so if they walk the man things come out of the skin

btw the film is really devolved and the ackgroun looks like a foggy mess like silent hill or an N64 game

unless thats how it looed that ay from some unknown event

so she lightly runs into a builing and the men swarm like gaijin trying to b0ne a Human girl

inside she talks with a main or slave and tital card sez a new wa ti get rid of those guys

\she dresses in an outfit seen as hot for the 1900s and goes oyt wearing a oat or cloak

the guts follow her to th pier abdi think its a 1900s swinsuit  nd the guys o up to her, bow and walk off frootily

totle card sez only the braive deserve the fair and this moustache guy walks with her arm in arm

they go to a fence and she walks off with him practically j-zzing in his pants and a buncha guys come byacting prissy

chick returns and the guy with mutton chops the hair style or go nagai sideburns goes off wuih her

at the pier the other guys are there and no on here has names but not like franklin with bear and goose and beave and snail

worst idea; franklin; the movie! its a darker edgier take on the series. franklin is a bada55 snapping turtle with battle scars. bear is the muscle of his group. snail is a guy who is missing his arms and legs but is a master strategist. they are fighting daemons in a post apocalyptic future and use big guns that shoot hexagram and swastika bullets to kill the daemons. they fight in battle mech armor exosuits and are fighting to free the planet from being slaves to the daemons.

so they go ack an she takes of the cloak as the other guys laugh and overact more than bulk and skull in power rangers and walk by em

k according to wikipdia the outfot was a cr-ppy swimsuit and the gil is Nanette Ranfrea with te guy being Commodore Fitzmaurice

will he fight the soviets in 1917 when America fights em?

the end

but that wasn't bad

good filmimg, simple thing, and lov winning out with heart over looks

the acting is over the top but that prase was from ww1 with guys going over the top of the trenches so its not canon

its got few titlecards and tells the story visually as well as physically

its said to be a comedy but it didn't make me laugh, but many things dont

i assume the film wa devolved to cover the things in the background THEY didn't want us to see

but its not bad and has a lit upbeat thing that was probably pretty ood for the 1900s

Glad I saw this one

And all the guy wanting her is like Yuria in Hokuto No Ken

For The Gibson Goddess 2 I want ww1 to start and the commodore is at sea and encounters a mosasaur and his crew fight it but a uso attacks and its a 3 way battle. Also its a 16 bit Shmup on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you play as thecommoore in an experimental shuo from ancient tech and fight sea beasts like dolphins and orca and fighters launched by the uso and battle to beat the Mosasaur as the game boss after being hi by a mutation beam from the USO that makes it a big devolved kaiju thing lke the plant thing biolante or w/e in Godzilla.

A Working Man Review

 Note: I spell like a worker

A Working Man

This is my review on A Working Man from the ditant fuure year of 2025 (When Transformers Victory Happened

Iyts fdirected by David Ayer who did nothing I saw

it stars Jason Statham from Ghosts of Mars/The Transporter/Collateral/Cellular/The Expendables, Jason Flemyng from 1994 The Jungle Book/Rob Roy/From H=ll/Rock Star/The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen/The Curious Case of Benjamin Button/Kick-A55/X-Men: First Class, the occultic Michael Pena from The Lincoln Lawyer/Turbo/Touched by an Angel/2003 The Twilight Zone/American Dad!, David Harbour from Kinsey/Brokeback Mountain/2005 War of the Worlds/Law & Order/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Drunk History(thats a number of purvo series), anima supremacity Emmett J. Scanlan from Guardians of the Galaxy 001/A.D. The Bible Continues, Andrej Kaminsky from Enemy at the Gates, Ricky Champ from Law & Order: UK, Max Croes from Rocketman, from Ride and a buncha guys, often Poles, i never aw in anuting or ant on back door, aids bag, frooty booy gender offender, banana crammer, Sodom bottom, Creator hater, 

its based on a book Levon's Trade by Chuck Dixon that i neve read anmd written by Sylvester Stallone

Its not related to the Working Man Trilogy which is gay xxx  nor the 2019 film Working Man nor the 1933 bette davis movie The Working Man

After credits and logoes for a while title we see war scenes, we see Jason living in his pickup truckand going to workin a foggy construction site full of gsijin

this coworkers daughter is kinda whiny and wants a lot of cr-p dad can't afford and seems like a brat

some toughs come by and ea up a gaijin worker so ason kicks their a55es with construction tools like a ninja and 1 guy gets a shotgnon the toughs so they leae

i think they were mexicoes and daughter is impressed but he sez u didn't see sh-t and she sez she knows how to break fingers

He goes by a home and this beta whines of him being unssfe anda killer and not fit for the people he wants to see, i think his kids, and teases him of wanting to his him and being violent

Jason brings i think his daughter to get a burger and gives her a photo he took of her and the mom who i think got iced and kid sez grandpa took moms photos down

id is mad at him for being ead and he goes to a legal thing that sez he needs less time with his kids for having a brain wound and ptsd

he sez grandpa blames him for his daughter suiciding when he waa overseas in war and its revealed the granpa has 1000 $ an hour lawyers who'll attrition him til he's out

Jason gprs in a cr-ppy home or hotel and theres bloodstains i the mattress probably from butt b00ning and butt breaking

a party goe on with i think born to be alive playing and wuile leaving the bathroom this chick i think the daghte brat gets captured by some soviet looking guys

later the coworker sez brat went missing and the cops are no hep ad they need his help to save her but he sez he cant as its not who he is anymore

he goes to the woods to see a guy he saved whos using a crossbow or w/e and sez to go all out no halfzees and he dont need his permission

Jason talks woth i think co worker as moonlight sonata plays and Jason sez corer helped him as a family after his woman ate her hun or did seppuku and the war.

he take coworkers booze as symbolism andsez he'd do it angoes out on a butt hunt with going by seedy bars of drugs and inding a piece of her neclacein an alley

after using a tracking thing on thebartendrrs car he goes to his place as bartendr does drugs like a criminal

he grilles him and bartender asks if hes a cop but Jason sez you wish and waterboards him in the bathtub to find the guys he works for wipe out bloodlines

2 guys come in and open fire but Jason uses bartender as a shield ad blows the guys out and finds its the oviets

in a grey cell with some light, representing sme hope brat  sez sorry and wishes she was strong likemom or w/e

Jason watchesthis soviet guy go in a building and its the arkeeps home but the say wheres the money and this is a shotgun wound but thres no shotgun anwhy they shoot each other

Jason jr call to say hi and aftr tha he follows the soviets and theres a number of long scenes w/o dialogue and visuals holding it like a silent film

Jason sneaksin the soviet place, takes out this guy and when guy waes uphes tied to a chair by a pool for Jason to kick him in if he's too lou

guy its a soviet from the barkeep placesez "why now who I am?!" and "you stole from me and i'll go after 3 generations"

Jason throws back the money saying hes not a thief and wants the 19 year old they took and soviet boss goes on a oviet trade

after saying f u too much and oo liud ason sends him i the drnkand kills a murderer/crime  lord/purvo, how offensive to demons in human flesh. is this a hate crime?

Jason has his phone translate the soviet tirade and goes off asa higher soiet, i thin the guys dad wants revenge on Jason

brat sez he name and rnts names cuz shes stooped andthis chick in a surgical mask like a beta make swears at her and tells her to eat her f ing food

imagineif they did the African thing and fattened her p to sell to a big black guy who likes that like all those guys on the learning channel who are into 800lb women

Jason calls a big black guywho se to check a bar the soviets use meth

ason goes there anthe secrutiy lay watching the camras sends a guy who iced someone and blamed anotherto checkon Jason who se he ants recrenational cr-p and uses a gun to avoid losing a knife fight as he carrys mney

they think hes a cop and check him for a badge but he beats out a buncha guys til a big black guy sez enough and sees they are both army men and sells him drugs

Jason goes to a pancake house blackasaurl him ofad gives drugs to i think the video chick and guy who iced the guy and blamed another tha looks like a cowboy

he dries on and blackasaur sez the drugs are under is seat and he throws em in the river to poison the fish and make cocaine catfish the sequel to cocainum bear

thisdevolvedguy tries doing stuff to a girl but she bites him and he whines how hes supposed to be asleep

blackasaur ha Jason get a suitto go meet a black guywho has him turn off his phone and a eurotrash guy looking like jjared leto who figures asons not the name he sez and thinks Jason is small potatos amd eutrotreah is big potatoes

eurotrah sez text bunny emoji for drugs and eggplant emoi for i think b0ning on a burner phone

Jason dymps the drugs in a bathroom sink an checks the phone anlatr he by some olace by the woods at night and the bads attack withguns and ra ashe races off n a motorcycle in the woods

hes caught by cops working for the soviets and 2 soviets say the poole guy was their uncle and tie hm up but he kicks em out and beats on em in close combat like nfernape while stringing 1 u and grappling with a gun that wastes the drier

the van tips and he gets open a tool box and beats 1 guy ead and the other he caps thendumps the van in the river

higher soviet identifies the bodies and gets a war council as e seefancy fropty eirotrash guys by a creepy circus like the frechies

jared leto eirotrash hassles a guy for f ing a guys face by biting it open and needingdozens of stitches to reattack the cheek

higher soviet tells jared eurorash asons hunting hi ad eutotrash whines of being seen as radioactive by his fam as i guess he has the aids

the bdssearch oline and find his family and stats andas grandpa does yoga cuz hes a beta male and nto the occult a guy is behind him with a tool

Jason gets his daughter cuz grandpa wasn't there an she jokes that Jason kille d him but he sez he f'd bad guys and dont wnt his loved ones getting it

she checks the phone and sees grandpa is athome and they come by there withthe house burning

Jason saves grandpa who blames Jason for bringing the violence and Jason jr sezjaso saved him

jasn slugs grandpa out, lifts him up, ad throws him back in the fire

jk really grandpa sez toget the cops and goes to the hospital and Jason drops jr at his eyeless crossbow homie who has a lot of guns for Jason

Jaso tells Jr she's miss a few days of school and she cant come

as brat teen is driven in the car by captors, she wigs it kicing theseat tol they crash and runsin the brght moonlit woods, cuts the hand tape on a wood and runs in another direction

this is why you stay in shape, in case you gotta run

the captors worry of going back to jail to be b0ned and she sops a cop carbwho brings her back to the captors as they wor for em

cant trust the gov

they throw her in the water and i think will ice her but the devolved guy calls and wants a 2nd date with her

Jason is sneaking around like a ninja  wasting guys then straps a thing a a guy that blows him and caps guys

ared leto eurotrash has a grl at gunpoint and Jasonblows a hle in his hans a55 and asks where the brat is

eurotrah asks why risk everything or her and Jason sez if i tell you where she is, you let me live?

Jason sez he might give a fake address and he drives with him as eurotrash calls bray a wh=re and Jason buts him in the face

pow right in the kisser or in his case, d0ng sucker

they get to the farm house or w/e the cops took em and eurotrash sez he works with guys to catch girl and sell em and if he didn't someonesels would

Jason sez they were human beings ad if eurotrash ha a aughter he'd undertand then sends eurotrash to h e double England

blackasaur seesjason toom out a buncha soviets ahnd is ar the house so they scramble

Jason goes in and takes out more guys as the captors takebrat to the devolved guy looking lie George in seinfel and have hetied up from the ceiling and devilved guys gonna cut her open a maybe f her guts

jason goes in the ballroom wasting guys like a Schwarzenegger movie and thisn loos lie a emb=[le dark groups use for teir metings

theb blacasaur comes inwth his udes like  reverse birth of a nation with the bad guys oming to stop the hero

ason fights the cowbo and ends him then fights blackasaur in a knife fight and stucks that sasquatch wih his own machete

Jason  busts in the torture room, 1 shots the devolved guy, and brutally beats man captor as brat uses her thighs to strangle the female captor

jasn busts te male captors head on brick but it dont splatter but should and frees chick brat

Jason bring bra andues a blue tooth on a video screen on his chest to aim the gun over a table and end a machine gun nut then a grnade on the other

they leave on bmotocycle anhigher soviet cals his boss and is told to let him go but high soviet wont turn the other cheek to the man who did his kids

boss sez the brotherhood comes before business and high soviet screams but his head dont blow for sme reason

Jason brings back brat andher fam is happy and he goes to his crossbow homies place to get his daughter and sez he nicke himself shaving

alo this is widescreen and colored by muted colors but not too dingy

the end

That was petty good

nice action and good fight scenes

nice story and good characters

bada55 and stong about a manly guy beating up awful guys

seeing an honorable guy use sill to remove the scum of the earth is pretty bada55 like a Samurai cutting down bandits and gaijin

its got hard hits and is well filmed and lie John Wick but more brittish and more beatings than bullets

i liked it. It was pretty cool

For A Working Man 2 I want the high rank soviet ho's fam got iced by Jason to use his crime loot to make a power suit that lets him fight even with statham and he comes after him. But each fight gets  stopped before the finishing blow from some random thing like a stampede of cattle or tornado or 1 falls off the car they fight on or tsunami. In the end they have 1 final deaty match an Jason pnches through him and he blows apart in a spra of blood and chunks. Its also an 8 bit fighting game on Sega Master System, SG-1000, Game Gear, Nes GameBoy, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 where you play as Jason or the bad guy an fightguys til you et to the rival and fight and after a few rounds it ends and loops.

Brannigan Review

Notw: My kepboard s bad but i spell woth a zap

Brannigan

This is my review on Brannigan fron th distant future year to Amercan Hero John Wilkes Booth of 1975(50 years before Transformers Vctoey)

Its directed by Douglas Hickox who did The Giant Behemoth which kinda s-cked

It stars Elite Alpha Male John Wayne from Bardelys the Magnificent\the 28 Noah's Ark\the 30s The Three Musketeers\Blue Steel\Stagecoach\Angel and the Badman\Red River\Fort Apache\The Quiet Man\\Hondo\The Searchers\The Alamo\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\McLintock!\The Greatest Story Ever Told\The Green Berets\Chisum\Big Jake\Cahill U.S. Marshal\Star Wars the 77 one/The Lucky Texan/True Grit, Richard Attenborough from A Matter of Life and Death/Brighton Rock/The Great Escape/A Bridge Too Far/Jurassic Park/1994 Miracle on 34th Street/The Lost World: Jurassic Park/Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat/Jurassic World, Judy Geeson from 60s Berserk!/Inseminoid/The Plague Dogs/Mad About You/Touched by an Angel, Mel Ferrer from 50s Scaramouche/The Sun Also Rises, John Vernon from The Outlaw Josey Wales/National Lampoon's Animal House/Airplane II: The Sequel/Ernest Goes to Camp/-Killer Klowns from Outer Space/Heavy Metal/Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman/Batman: The Animated Series/jim Hensons Dinosaurs/90s Fantastic Four/Pinky and the Brain/Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm/Spider-Man: The Animated Series/Duckman/90s The Incredible Hulk/Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain, Daniel Pilon from Left Behind, Ralph Meeker from The Dirty Dozen and Millard Mitchell from The Day the Earth Stood Still/The Naked Spur, Lesley-Anne Down from Countess Dracula/Night Trap/Death Wish V: The Face of Death/The Nanny/A Family of Cops, Sodomus Barry Dennen from Fiddler on the Roof/Jesus Christ Superstar/The Shining/Trading Places/Superman III/Titanic/Heavenly Sword/60s Batman/Batman: The Animated Series/Animaniacs/Batman Beyond/non anime Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Dark Crystal, John Stride frpm The Omen 1, James Booth(Not John Wilkes) from Zulu/Airport '77, Arthur Batanides from The Ten Commandments/Spartacus/60s The Twilight Zone/The Dick Van Dyke Show/Star Trek/Happy Days, Kathryn Leigh Scott from 70s The Great Gatsby/70s The Incredible Hulk/Little House on the Prairie/The A-Team/Star Trek: The Next Generation/The Goldbergs, Brian Glover from Alien 3, Don Henderson from The Ghoul/Star Wars/Red Dwarf, Tony Robinson from Blackadder (blicketee black), Tony Booth from nothin I saw, ad a fw guys i aint seen in anything but are on back door, aids bag, sopdom, bottom, gender offender, Creator hater, frooty booty, sbanams crammer queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants Wikipedia, which calls Acupuncture a pseudoscience but thinks eps teen iced himself

I never saw this b4but its got John Wayne so its probably good.

Its sometimes called Joe Battle according to bac door, aids bag, gender offender, Sodom bottom, frooty booty, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, Creator Hater, banana crammer, hippie stoner egan peta tree kung fu base on plants Wikipedia who thinks blood type diets dont work but guys can turn chick.

after logoes we get tile and credits in widescreen and 70s color wit close ups of a bada55 gun and p0rn0 music

we see a ner printing money and own wayne kicks the door in and sez nock nock and grills him for where this guy the grand jury indicted is

he's told the guy split town an john wayne puts this gun in plastic he threatene him with down so nerd pulls it on him but is not loaded

ohn wayne ties him up an the ner sez theres a bounty on him an he's dead and he walks off and leaves him for the cops

as john waybe booth walks to his car the cops bring him back and have someone get his car and they drive to more credits

Christopher Trumbo? lie the commie Dalton Trumbo?

they go to the air port and lt is sening john wayne to soviet England to bring back the guy he was hunting

the brits talk of them sending jim brannigan and john Vernon aka Rupert thorne in batman 90s not damin thtone from the omen is the bad guy i think and is told the DA can't touch him here

i think he puts a hit on brannigan john wayne and brannigan arrives from half cibilizied Chicago to devolved England and a guy i think a hitman is there

a female cop blone meets brannigan and sez sir Charles ishandling his eturn trip and other cr-p and shes his assistant to look out for him as a p r job

the hitman watches and bad guy and his roog say things are going on and go to the pool or bath house

brannigan wants sleep and is driven by blonde who sez the 3 things wrong with Americans are over paid over s=xe and over here

brannihan calls blone ginny like the harry pooter charater and sez she loaned him money and was a good friend but blonde worries they were b0ning

we see throne in the pool swimming naked and we see his a55 like on sponebo and the simpsons then we see him being scrubbed and massauged

the massauger is beat out and guys use chemicals on a rag to ko throne and slip him in a yellow plastic thing to kidnap him

blone drops off brannigan to a mens club to see sir Charles and has him wear a tie

he meets the geezer from Jurassic park an want a Polish Drink and talks of how bad guy go away cuz of bail

sir chairld Jurassic park guy sez he got sir from an ancestor and wants breakfast as thats his timezone thing and Charles wants him not to have a gun as England prefers being knifed by gaijin

Brannigan sez he's working under Chicago andbrit geezr Charles sez dont use it but goes off and returns wanting the Polish beer and sez the bad guy was kidnappe

in a big black car the hitman comes to waste brannigan and stops by a place saying private tuition in French which lie englan ins't American

he gets a letter from a frooty guy from Chicago and sez half now half when the job is done

htman sez its light and frooty guy lets htiyman have a woman there who i th is a h--ker and he strangles her as he's into that

Charles who is chuck and might be f--ked or butt f--k sez the massauger is beat out and brannigan thiks they otta go out paying for info lie modern cop work while chuck the butt f--k cu-k whines of America's murder rate and whines of his gun

blone drives brannigan around and black car hitman comes after john wayne from behind li many English men want to do to Americans but relly have done to them by gaijin

at night hitman is by brannigans place and blonde leaves then drives off loudly in his cr-pmobile

brannigan drinks as hes an irish and the next day we get a recording from bad guy saying pay this much money in piccadilly circus and no cops

the lawyer for bad guy gave it to the cops an brnnigan questions it but chuck the s=ck sez they voiceprinted it and its him

brannigan sez theyd be paying it from money from h--kers and we see this times square lie place withthe lawyer there and brannigan andblonde in a car near

bad guy sez he smells brannigan an we see awyer drive across London bridge and slides packages into a red mail thing insome place

soon the mail man comes up as theres protesters against something going by and the mail man gets the mail

brnnigan thinks its too simple and follows em mail main brings it to the post office and blonde watches where it went

a mototcycle guy comes inand gets some packages and leaves as brannigan follows and theres no fialogue like a silent film

the guythrows th package in the water and brannigan throws the bike nerd in but finds th packages had newspaper in em

the mailbox was tampered with and had a plug in the butt that let em change packages from the sewer lie the ninja turtles and get away

john waybe return t hs pararment and ntuces somethings up and we see behind the door is a shotgun ready to go off

the barrel behind the door

h checks with a lay and finds a guy was there and he kicks in the door from the bottom at an angle and it goes off missing him

he then gets the shower line to pull the toilet flusheer with the door closed and it blows

brannigan has dinner with blonde an looks into thins to find this guy blonde sez is a stoolie is part of it

brannigan sez a while ago his rookie partner got his head blown off by a crook after brannigan but brannigan hated him but it was his on to keep him alie teil he could handle it and f'd up

chuck the butt suck f--k calls em in and sez something i wasn paying attention to, i think the paper reported on them

branigangoes to see the guy who pulls a knife on him when brannigan gets hard butn brannigan kicks his legs out and beats him down then is gonna bust the guys teeth on the desk til he tells the next guy to go after

brannigan; unless u anna go for englans free dental care

me; but their teeth are rotting and devolved

Also me: What if an englishman sucked yo d0ng and his rotting teeth touched your pee ness and it rotted?

brannigan goes after th next guy later an in a bar or something and a dispute with chuck leade to puncheing and it quickly devolves into a bar brawl

a guy for the cops gets info on a guy with access to sewers under piccadilly curcus

they grill the h--ker who was strangled by hitan over giving hm the sewer maps or w/e and she sez she gave them to her bf freddywho i thought was queer

brannigan grills a drunk and put a teapot on the stove then checks the draer drunk didn't want him to see

he gets back and find drunk wih a bullet in his back and goes after the guy by commandeering a car and driving on the wrong side of the road

In Transformers Animated Ultra Magnus comes to Earth and drives around with Optimus who says "Here on Earth we drive on the Right side of the street" Me: Take DAT England! You ain't Urth!!

the car gets f;d up in the chase and jumping a bridge opening as the candya55 brit spazzes out

chuck not uncle chuck from sonic grills a guy and finds the guy he sold the plans to and brannigan sez its the guy who iced drunk

at night himan is by brannigans place and gets his gun and slencer which i think the movie will say makesit make no sound like a ninja magic

blonde goes to the car to get the notebook and hitman goes to ice her so in slo mo brannigan gets his gun and fires on him as he drives off

chick blonde is ok but get hat got hit and the next day chuck b--ches of brannigan using a gun and blames him een thoughhe saved the chick

brannigan gets a call saying a guy bought a lot of shares for 49 and sold em for 3 and hes got a gift for chucko f--ko sucko

lawyer is gonna pay the randsome and brannigan/chck say not to pay or they get bac him in chunks

a message comes in saying to contact him and tell lawyer to come soon and alone but lawyer se the bank needs 4 or 5 hours and bad guy sez bring it and they get a few more hours

lawyer sez to have chuc swan aka mr swan lik mr swan in mad tv not to have servailence and they find a homing evice on his car the cops put on

after some driving for a while, lawyer goes to an ol facory as the final battle has to be in a factory andbad guy wns to be let go

hes in cuffs andlawyer pulls a gun on him and sez never trust aybo and caps the 2 guys there thenlaughs with bad guy after pulling it off

they cut off his ring finger as a radsome thing and now they got 1 million dollars and an are gonna go to butt f--k south America with the cannibals andcrooks

then a homin device falls outta the money and brannigan busts in saying noc knock and would blow off his parts if he moves

they arrest the lawyer and bad guy but the hitman is comming and tries to run branniga over

Europe having killers from oher lands attacking people in cars? too soon!

so after a few drive bys tthe hitman gets a gun an i think misses him so he tries running him over

branigan gets is gun and puts a few bullets in him so he drives off a thing and the car blows for no reason

brannian sez bye to blonde and goes back to The 1st World as 70s music plays looing a the bridge then credits

the end

That was pretty cool

Good ohn Wayne being manly and American

A lot like a Western but like a 70s cop thing like the beastie boys sabotage video

Waybe was fun andthe other actors did well

I like how Vernon used his ripert thorne voice from 90s batman as this crime guy

good fipming and it had nice slo mo and good action

much is build up and a goo burst of action instead of non stop macbine gun of cr-p like modern things

i liked it and its pretty cool

a later john wayne ilm but like dirty harry bt John Wayne still has honor and skill

Glad I saw this

And its no Zap Brannigan frm Futurama

For Brannigan 2 I want them to take the jet across the sea but the bad guy gets out and makes a fuss and the plane goes down on an uncharted island in the Atlantic. There's ancient beasts there and John Wane and the bad guy gotta team up to get out and get to shore. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where 1 player is John Waye abd the other is Vernon and you beat up pygmy mammoth and Smilodon an glyptodon and wooly rhino and other things til you fight a sasquatch at the end as the boss and he has magic.