Evil Toons Review

Note: I spell toony

Evil Toons

This is my review on vil Toons from the distant future year to demon worshipper mel blanc o 1992(The year we got Chuck Rock and Ex-Mutants on Genesis)

Its directed by Fred Olen Ray who did Alien Dead/Alienator

It stars David Carradine from from Kill Bill: Volume 1\Kill Bill: Volume 2\Kung Fu: The Legend Continues\Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman\Lizzie McGuire\Jackie Chan Adventures\King of the Hill\Danny Phantom/Young Billy Young/Celebrity Ghost Stories/Taggart/The Long Goodbye/Last Stand At Saber River, Monique Gabrielle from Airplane II: The Sequel/Flashdance/p0rn0, Barbara Dare from p0rn0, Arte Johnson from The Andy Griffith Show/McHale's Navy/Bewitched/The Dick Van Dyke Show/I Dream of Jeannie/Sesame Street/The Smurfs/The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo/The A-Team/DuckTales/Tom & Jerry Kids/Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures/Animaniacs/The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries/Justice League Unlimited, The Amazing Dick Miller from P0rn0 I mean Star Trek: The Next Generation/Batman: The Animated Series/Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman/Justice League Unlimited/A Bucket of Blood/The Little Shop of Horrors/The Terror/X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes/The Dirty Dozen/The Howling/Gremlins 1/The Terminator 1/Chopping Mall/Gremlins 2: The New Batch/Batman: Mask of the Phantasm/Pulp Fiction/Demon Knight/Small Soldiers, Mexican slav Michelle Bauer from p0rn0, and a few guys not on back door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, Creator hater, soy boy, beta male, gender offender, banana crammer, hippie soner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, queer as a deer wth a steer in its rear Wikipedia who wont say peoples real names when they go nuts

I never saw this, but  according to candy a55 Wikipedia Roger Corman turned it down as he thought it s-cked or something

after amaericna internauoan picutes logo in neon we get text saying this is true

David carridine comes to a place with the necornomicon nd hangs himself

too soon

really, THEY did it to him in the 00s

he told the book you lose and the book sez we'll see then fades int dst

then title to good music and credits with illiustations of demons on a blac blckground and a fire effect

they even got b=rphomet with the hexagram on the head

are toons demons? i mean aliens and sasquatch are so why not toons?

the 1st part was in the 30s according to cripple nipples wikipedeia and now its the 90s or w/e and dick miller comes to the house with some bimbos in 8s fashion and he checs out their butts

this movie is a55

they gotta clean up the place for new owners and get 100$ which was a lot of money in the 1800s

dick sez no b0ning and theres electricity but no phones

they go in and 1 sez weird things happened here and the last guy who lived here vanished

the nerdy girl meets a neighbor outside who remembers the hosue in the past

the bimbo put food in the fridge and the one in the lime green spandex tank top keepts showing off her pits for guys with an armpit fetish who b0ne armpits

neighbor comes in and sez he wants to be ready if he has t identify their bodies to the cops and dont want anything to happen to em

he goes and they work on the basement as tank top arm pits sez"whys it always co eds going in the basement?"

blonde jokes "is this where we find the oiuja bord and gets possiessed" and the get to cleaning

they fidn  trun with a weird language and we see i turn to enfglsih for ea bit

they open it an it stinks and therss a skull in it and a wavy daggar that ither blonde brings with her in case its important

tank top sez its cuz they might be antiques that are valuabl and no one will miss

later they're relaxing and  other blonde reads the Frankenstein wheel and theres lightningouside but no rain

David retutns and look like a pilgrim and summons the book

tanktop turns on 80s musicand dances seductivlythen tanes off her cltheswith her nips blurred out on pluto out proud at 3 am

she undresses nerdy chick whos got a big bust but she runs off with her big bra showing

the door bell rings and they meet David and he delivers this package but they say the nw owners wont be here til Monday

they get it and he goes but watches froma  tree like a creeper

the pacage se open immediately and tey think it might be perishable so they open it and its the Necronomicon

1 sez its human skin and the other sez its probably worth a lot

logical idea, totally not unrealistic, if ur a pyscho

they look through it and its in a wird language that they think nerd can do

in her room nerd gets undressed and looks in the mirror with the nips blurred out but only in the mirroras they forgot the side b00b

she gets dressed and tank top comes by, sez she has a great body and otta use it, then tells he of the book

blondes look through the book at art of demons b0ning chicks like its go nagai

nerd sez it looks like ancient latin an she reads it saying of demons and things not dying and offering to be slaves to em

at the bottom it sez "if you value ur soul never read the above thing outloud"

tank top invited a guy over o b0ne and looks through the book as the other bimbos go to bed in sleeping bags on the floor1 blode gets changes an they blurr out her nips a does the other with blurred nips as they say the nerd looked great

tank tip armpits has some booze but cant open the bottle andshe uses her mouth and NOT like THAT

in the book the werewolf monstwr vanishes and comes to life as a 2d thing

it hears armpits tryng to oen the bottle and hies as she comes in an puts on mini shorts after taking off her shirt again

also it blurs out her buns even though its covered by semi see through unies

the toon goes cheap tex avery and jumps on her kinda b0ning her and pullinf off her small ba as she screams

the others think she's only b0ning her bf andnerd thinks something up an wnts to go down to check

toon drags her off anseems to have eaten her as its got blood on its face but tuens into no top armpits girl

nerd asks you ok? and fake she sez she was changingand cut herself and got carried away but when fake she wants to do stuff to her, nerd goes

lightning blips and we see the toon face on hers and nerd tells the other blondes what happened but it seemed weird

the blondes think its nothing an go to sleep and fake armpits wear sa shirt and in a demon voice sez hes alive

her butt buddy comes by and thinks the blood is a new lotion

on the couch fake she starts b0ning but grows fangs and eats him as David watches like a ppurvo like how scottsmen videotape couples in cars

the bimbos talk of if smethings up and 1 plnde sez "its the ur it thing so u'll get it b4 us so u otta check it out"

nerd gos to the can and on t is la bucket of blood with dick miller making clay cr-p as dick miller now watches

i'm watching  movi of a guy watching a movie

he gets a phone call while smoking a cigar an drinking booze bt not doing nose candy like the soviets and hears the girls were screaming at night and he saw a guy par in front with his telescope

dick sez he'd check it out and sez of his past elf "how come this guy never won the acaemy award"

he tells his wife he's going out and she shows her blurre out big t-ts b4 going to her room and we hear an engine like a lawnmower

the blondes hear nerd cream and come don witha  big black flashlight

they find nerd saw butt budy with his neck bi out and a soul shroud on him for souls offered to the devil

dick miller comes by and they say they aint dressed to buy time to hide the body as if he finds out they had a guy over they gon get fired

fae armpits meets dick and sez come around back and i'll explain it

the bimbos open the door and hes gone

fake armpits takes him to the basement and is gonna mouth his thing but grows fangs and bits it off

this furry is gay! it b0nes men and eats d0ng

the bimbos see the beast man or jujin in urotsukidoji is not on the book and nerd reads the beast man like in he man will kill people to collect souls but the dagger can do stuff

they loo for the demon beast like maju sensen or demon beast invasion and in the basemen1 blonde sits in a chair but the coth fall off it and dea ick is there

they scream a while aand find armpits body in a woond thing that was there the whole time

they run back inside and say someones in here cuz armpits Roxanne is dead and they wont be paid as the boss bit it so they otta go to neighbor and call from his phone

armpits butt buddys body is gone and they meet neighbor andhe thins they dont need the dagger

he recognizes the book as a demon boo sent by Gideon fisk from the 1800s and caused all issues in the house

fake armpits comes by sayingneighbor is gone andthey as how sshes not dead

they show fake her the boo saying the demon beast is gone anthey go to the celler as armpits sez so an claims its a joke

they jerk aroudnthe bodies thinking its fake and are effing bimbos

after seeing its real, fake armpits sez with demon or brittish teeth that its a demon collecting souls for the master and ater they fall its ree

they left the daggar upstairs and1 blonde and nerd run for it as othe blonde fights Roxanne emon armpits and does well

her cloths come of and they blurr her b00bs but she gets her neck eaten

blonde and nerd find the knife is gone and hear a sound upstairs so nerd reads the book to fin it only mentions the dagger

why not pay it away?

if demons are real so is God

blonde suggest going to the cops like that'll do anything  and they go up with a pointed stick or w/e a they dont got a banana

upstairs fake armpits grabs blonde and pulls open her top then mouths her neck

fae armpits slowly goes for nbusty nerd chick and sez putting the cloth on her body after icing her will send her to h-ll

nerd skswhy are you doing this and is told to free the other demon beasts in t book and will have her free em and take others b4 it eats her soul

then Dave the slave comes in andse it can beat fake armpits and f'd up in the past but can erase her

he pulls the twisty dager andthey fight over it with dave the slave being overpowred and nerd busty chick standing around doing nothing

eventually she hit the fake chick with a liquor bottle and dave the slav shanks her

she pulls it out from his side and turns back to a furry that crawls slowly to the book as dav and nerd say it can not die if in the book

eventually she throws it in the fireplace ad it crys spurm and  burns which is kind cool

the furry cartoon fades out and dave the slave puts the soul cloth on the fire to burn

he sez he borught the book to America and got cursed by it and waited in limbo after biting it to find someone who could solve it

the curse is broken and demon is beat an world is safe and now her friends will be okas the demon beast never really existed

then he fades out and in the AM the nerd sees her blonde is aae upstairs and neighbor comes by with nerd having sprained her knee

neighbor brought hot coffee like gta in his thermos and the others are alive now

neighbor sez its Saturday morning so time for cartoons and nerd screams

the end

that wasn't so bad

i mean yah we only get like 90 seconds o the actual evil toon

and theres only 1

and the acting is kinda cr-ppy

but these are p0rn0 stars, its not trying to go for the Oscar

dick miller was good and the music was cool and its not so long or hard(tee hee)

its made in like 8 days and most of the budget went to the animation

it was the 90s homie

animation was expensive and they didn't cheat by using computers to cr-p it out

its a low bidget slasher and the lighting and filming is good

yeah its not like gone with the wind or the ten commandments or birth of a nation or ben hur

but its not trying to be

its self aware and ha a few good jokes like dick miller watching dick miller movies

and the end wanting to watch cartoons is a good callback to the 90s when we had Fox Kids with X Men befoe Disney ruined it

its a fun little cheapie

glad i saw it

the demon beast is onscreen 90 secnds and the movie is 90 mins

thats 1/60th of the film

plus it had a good ending for once

most of these cheap horror films end dark like Go Nagai likes to

For Evil Toons 2 I want it to be years later and another Necronomicon comes in. But the nerd chick is now a bada55 demon slayer who uses her knowledge an sills o fight em. Also the other bimbos are her crew and this scientist occulting actor opens a demon gate and turns soviet California into a h-ll on earth with demons b0ning and eating people. So these chick take em on with holy weapons. Its also a 16 bit beat m up with up to 4 players on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you battle non copyrighted daemons based on 90s cartoons and its revealed cartoons were originally based on demon works and the 30s animators were into dark occultism and used dark things to normalize their evil.