Axe Review

Note: I spell bad and my keybord is f'd

Axe

This is my review on Axe from the distant future year todemon worshipper Winston Churchill of 1974(10 years before Transformers Season 1)

Its directed by Frederick R. Friedel who aint on soviet aids hole wiipuedoa

It stars no one i know and none are on back door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, gender offender, banana crammer, Creator hater, wiener cleaner, soy boy, beta male, frooty booty, hippie stoner vegan perta tree kung fu based on plants, queer as a deer with a steer in is rear Wikipedia who denies realiy

I saw is b4 and have it on vhs

the cany a55 brits called it a "video nasty" and banned it as those dins don't like freedom

loo how they fought America in 1776 and we kicked their candy a55

In America, its We The People, in England its, we who are subservient to the regent

those aids bags arrest you for calling yourself names online

its like roots when tobey got the whip for using is past name

Also this was called Lisa Lisa like the jojo character but i never saw jojo so I only know the name

It starts with text to music of credits over a house with a sunrise behind it

then title and blood spills fro it in a cheap but lovable effect and more credits

we get excitin music and these guys in suits go through halls and to a room looking out if they were followed

this is in widescreen and good 70s color

they find a wig and undies and loo around to fin a pinkih shirt and thin someones queer

they are wanting someone in an orange car as 1 guy burns holes in the pin shirt with his cigar

smoker and beardo are lower ran than the head guy

they see someone coming and hit the light and eventually 2 people come in and et cauht by em

this hermaphrodite looking guy is aubrey like drake in Degrassi and the leader is steele like in knighthood with Arsene Lupin

Aubrey goes for his gun but gets caught and gets hit in the face so it bleeds

after roughing him a bi they put out a cigar in his mouth and beat him up for a while with i thin a doll

they're gonna use a razor to give his nose a bris but see hes dead

then hey throw aubreys possible butt buddy out a 9 story window

the trio drove in he country and eardo is upset they ice Aubrey

in a farm house this teen helps her cruippled grandpa like tha beyond belief fact or fiction ep

the trio goes o a store and steele bites an apple but it s-ced so he trows it after the stoe lady sez they can have as many as they like

steele shoots fruit lomax throws and steele has tore lady undress at gunpoint  to a black bra

thy put an apple on her head and are gonna wimmiam tell it after he has 10 paces but it falls off and he his a ketchup bottle so he dumps coke on her

they get beardo a treat and it cuts to teen carrying a bunh of eggs dropping 1 and covering it with grass, then heading a chicken and bringing it in and havin milk and cookies

she boils mil and brings grandpa food as he watches tv

he drins raw eggs like rocky and se cleans his shoulders with a wet cloth

shes gonna shave him but don't and the tv has a f'd signal

the trio drives to the farm and lomax looks around but steele sees someone in the upstairs window

lomax goes in and sees the chicken and hears een drop a glass thing that broke

they see her on the stairs and say they need a place to lie down for their sick friend

she sez theres hotels and its only her and grandpa and beardo comes in

they want her to make food and bring grandpa but she sez hes crippled and steele/lomax come up and check

a car comes up and they have grandpa at gunpoint to have teen send the cops away

teen makes em chicken and isn't hungry

beardo is billy like bimmy in double dragon or midnight express and don't want em to be rough on teen

they tell billy off and he runs so the 2 chase him

she looks at herself in the mirror imagining a blood mess and sees a snake in the tub

se gets a straight razor and runs the wateran is onna cut her wrist asif she's gonna get b0ned by these guys, she don't wanna be alive for it

billy beardo nocs the door and sez sorry and she leaves the bathroom and goes to her room with the razor hidden

lomax finds a picture of grandpa in military photo and was a colonel

wait im not sure it was billy running

they find a hat an put it on grandpa and een leaves as billy sez leave her

steele se stop stopping us or we'll straighten you out, possibly his weener like in Harenchi Gauen with Tengan getting his thing stretched out and slammed with Hige Godzillas mallet

steele/lomax don't get why billy dont like them doing evil

at night lomax i thin is smoking in bed as everyone else sleeps and we see teens room with innocent photos of her happy younger

lomax goes in er room and smaes out with her as she fights bac and i thin he b0nes her to dissonant piano

she wraps her legs around him and snaps his torso open by crushing his spine with her female bodybuilder legs

wait thats violence Jack, really she gets the razor and cuts the bac of his neck as he spazzes out and  dies

after layng in be with is dead d0n in her, she pull him off and eventually gets up nd oes to he bathroom to clean up

she gotblood on her face, spurm misplaced, spreading is aids all over my race

she gets a box and drag the body to the bathtub then ges the axe for chicen heading and  hacs him up offscreen to wet copping

some soviet loving animal supremacists might compare her copping up birds to people as in shes used to violence against birds so human is next

but thats hog cr-p as my grandpa chopped up pigs and birds and belt bad capping commies in ww2

besides, this guy just b0ned her woc with out consent

later shes moving a big wood box probably full of his pieces an billy helps her move it

he wants to unpack it but she sez its already packed and he moves it up stairs liftin it up when e struggled to move it b4

the box drips blood on the flood i mean floor  like he house that drips blood on alex with Tommy Wiseau

Billy notices blood and looks inside then asks her who did this and she sed the other one did it

billy brins her out in the woods and theres an axe in a ood piece

she has the razor and billy sez he can't tell the cops as hes part of a murdr and needs her help

she pulls the raor and he grans it and sez ses ahead of him and he'd need it andsez to go bac and say she don't now where he is

he kisses her head and she brushes her hair with a stick then returns and tells steele the guys went for a walk

he has her make him a sandwich and se seems spazzed out

he sez hes pretty and she has to see grandpa so he gets p-ssed and brings her up

hes strangling or figthing or b0ning her in front o grandp and she notices the axe

she rabs his face as the tv decries a sports thing and she eventually  gets the ax and chops him up offscreen as grandpa spazzes a bit and gets lood on him looing shocked

now they got 2 people worth of meat to eat

she maes a pot of tomato oup looing bright red

the eggs are broken in the fridge and billy returns and looks for steele as teen said hes out

billy can't find him and eats the soup as she fees grandpa but he sees bloo dripping from he fireplace and inds steeles ring in he soup

he finds steelre with ax wounds in the fireplace like gremlins 1 and wigs out then runs

the cops show up and open fie on him so thats the end of he 3 cabayeros

they see its one of he guys wanted for crmes as she feeds randpa possible human soup

the credits to music hey did for 70s movies like horn or w/e

the end

that was pretty good

i liked it

good mood and feel

nice acting

i never noticed b4 but she seems kinda unbalanced

but its sorta like The Last House n The Left but not as brutal

Its omly like an hour and a bit and much is following people moving

its Kinda atmospheric and the violence in'graphi or even often onscreen

its filmed over like 9 days and i thin it turned out well

its got a homey charm like going to your grandpas farm and brings bac a simpler era to you before high tech ruined things

its not a million miles a minute rush but a slow burn that rises and comes out at goo times

like the 1st x men movie

the camera is kinda shakey but the director wanted to do a movie when he was 25 and i think it was worthy

sorta like mr rogers how its long moments of people doing things and music

the music is good and sorta like Riki-Oh with the dissonant vibe

it looks and feels rustic 70s farm and works

An its not as graphic as I was lead o belivee, maybe a pg13 now, not ban worthy

For Axe 2 I want the family of the trio or their gang masters to want revenge on her for wacking their goons and send a quad of hitment to ice her, but she has traps and knows the area and ger grandpa is sending her psycic messages to alert her when more are coming and he takes out their hit teams 1 by 1 as they send a new one each week for a while. Also its a 16 bit cinematic platformer like Flashback on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Arati Jaguar and GBA where you go around room to room and take out all the guys using items and skills.