Gods Of The Deep Review

Note: I speel eeper than the fake sea

Gods Of The Deep

This is my review on Gods Of The Deep from the distant future year to harambe of 2023(the year of Robotech II The Sentinels)

Its directal by Charlie Steeds who di nothin I saw

It stars a buncha guys I never heard of and this movie in't even on back door, aids bag, beta male, soy boy, frooty booty, gender offender, Sodom bottom, banana crammer, Creator hater, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants wikipedia who thinks diana was an accident

so after logo and credits and title we see people in a boat in sea and a restricted area with guys in hazmat suits in a tech place and som people in a rom looking at a video feed sayin we found em

then in a center in soviet London soviet England this ginger guy is being a researcher like his dad and the lay who said we found em is funding him and has an expedition for an Astro biologist

like space botany in Sailor Moon?

in the artic they found a trench in the continental shelf and found a 37 000 foot deep area. the new deepest

theres video of a manmade portal thing in the deep blue sea and she gets a cre together to debrief em

this santa looking guy is there and a blonde and the ginger and others with this lord of the rings guy made a deep sea explorer vehicle that can go in the portal but remote vehicles didn't return mostly

not Santa sez the ocean is the last great frontier as i guess space is fake and the firmament is above the flat earth

now we have the tech to go there and lady ha files for the data they got and they need 2 months of training and gotta choose will they go to this et blac liquid h-ll where man was not created to go

not Santa wants ginger to come and they guys have a meal and talk on how the while ocean is above em pressing down when they go

in a hall blonde talks with giner about stuf i dont care about andthis is pretty widescreen with kinda muted colors and she thinks the spondsors aint telling em everyting

also she has a kid who she wants to return by his 1st b day

then its 2 months later and bart got fat eating school snacks wait thats the simpsons

they're in the artic and eventually get in and launch the ship which looks kind star wars and takes a while to get through the launch wit it going slow

i guess its going for atmospheric but still

so they go deep and the ginger i think is onna go out butblonde gets em o see the portal gate anus thing like a sandworm mouth in dune but more folds

they enter the anus like enter the dragon but bootylicious

Not Santa checks the pipes and the ship spazzes out and we see some tentacle monster like devolved eyeless zoidberg for a sec

the ship shut down and not Santa sez We Found Them bu wont say as we goota build suspence but if you rea the description or saw te title you'd probably know what it is

they get contact and are told they were gone 3 hours 12 mins an its lke The Birth Of A Nation

they find ancient ruins and there's no sun so they thin they found new life that needs no sun

like the sea vent bacteria we already know of?

they think it might not have been always under water andfind a life forme ting and play sponsor wants a tissue sample and not like the Tick when he had a cold

ginger jim, goes out in a vehicle an checks th giant squid thingsaid to eb by deep sea gigantism

maybe from before noahs flood or the giants of man and fallen angel

they detect life forms and tis massive cthulu looing sea monster with bat wings and no eyes rises as not Santa says someting like "this is what ou want" and goes cosmic with a blac on him an stars like the night sy or the afterlife in inuyasha's meido zangetsu ha

the sea giant grabs at the ship and i thing the blonde falls in the water in the bay as they try to escape

ginger im wants o return but they're told not to open the hanger or w/e so he has to wait

not lord of the rings opens the thing and gets the chic out but she otta be dead from the cold water and the pressure

this guy with a head wound does cpr on her like that'll help her crushed body from miles of water and the sub zero emps

they give up as she s dead and not gonna be in Gods Of The Sea 2 but maybe part 3 like Dizzy in Starship Troopers

the ships leakin and lord of the rings is getting soaked which otta kill from from cold

the sea giant is still reaching for em and not Santa is laying on the ground confused looking

he gets up and tells not lor of the rings he's one and watches his area fill with artic water

ginger jim gets bac kin and is spazzed out that blonde bit it and trys cpr which might work as she was in the freezing drink and cold water reduces brain f's

she gets better and barfs out water and is ok despite the sea pressure and i think they exit the anus

hairless guy smokes a cigar in a sub and sez they too on a lot of water and got 3 hours of life support and it might take 2 hours to get up with them getting slower the loner they stay

ginger jim got a tissue sample whhic is probably cursed and gonna devolve em into yokai or w/e

not Santa sez it'll change everything they knew and don' want it sealed away but blonde sez it might've been here millions of years

dim didn't now they came for living tissue and not Santa puts it in a box and has it put somewhere, probably him b0ning it to get super d0ng power

1 guy sez it loos like fat tissue and not santa never saw anything le it

its jim but not as we know it

theyres a tentacle in the tank and blonde sez they otta contain it as she dont wanna risk another guy getting it

in a horror movie?

wtf we're like 50 mins in almost

that felt like nothing

head wound guy sez they got the tissue and if the sub dont make it back he wont

yeag cuz hes on it!

so he wants to make sure he lives and i think has a gun

the sample devolves into a wierd pile spread pit and not santa smears it on him like feces in a gg allin concert, then get kinda eaten by it

ginger jim sez something made her ump in the water and when there he heard hi dads voice and they eren't meant to be here

i thin he's into the blonde and she sez it'll shock the world, you wa shock zaa warudo

they got 2 ours til the surface but this movie is only like 68 mins

hailess guy is ice by something anim and blondecome out to find him gone

is this alien 1?

they find the sample has nda went plan and blonde i thin touches a pad and its slimy

not santa coms out, screams like an animal and jumps into i think the hanger opening

jim trys axing the hatch but bandage head wound guy sez if he opens it the water pressure will cut him in half coming in

they knew of the sea gods and head wound with a gun sez they came for the sample an it'll make em rich

she sez it f--ks with their minds and she has a son waiting for her an they go off

head woun cuts a piece off the plants growing from the sample as i guess its animal and plant dna like in devilman

hairless guy sez in a f'd voice he prayed im wouldn't come and they told him jim would come and he's possessed by jims dad

they saw things man was never meant to know and jim otta get em home to where they once knew but its time for them to sleep

he attacks im who has an axe and after a cr-ppy struggle jim falls and hairless gets the axe and chops the computer

head wound comes in and fires on hairless but it does nothing and he eventually fires again and ends him

the ship is f'd and gonna tank and he's gonna ditch em but chic fights him with an axe as the gun falls by ginger jim

head wound falls andshe chops his left thigh and we see the after effects of an axe wound and its pretty bada55

she gets jim awake an sez scr=w the head wound guy and uses the gun to shoot the chains holding the vehicle

head wound crawls with his f'd leg and out o hairless comes a weener i mean tentacle

jim gets a flare to blow the ship so its not found and throws it on the plant sample then shoots it with he machine gun screaming like Rambo

how'd he know it would burn? its a sea thing

he come across a shadow of a guy in the red light in the hall like the cover of the thing from 1982 and a guy on the phone sez 5 mins til the ship implodes like those idiots looing at the titanic in the 21st century

he tells her 1 of em has to stay behind to seal the pressure and head wound attacks with an axe so he leades him away after his gun was knocked away

head wound sez we woke em up/is over/u cant destroy me but jim gets the gun and shreads him like wheat

a tentacle weener comes outta him and its a few actually like angel blade an 

he fire son him ore an stays behind as things look over and the music gets meaningful

the shadow guy sez, lets go together to the depths of oblivion  

then we see its 2 days later and blonde is in a hospital and lady sez they all were gone and she was out for a few days

blonde wis out and he "yoo killed em" but lady sez "tey knew the risk"

she spazzes out and remembers touching the good on the control pad and her belly bursts open with tentalces like Alien an lady smiles as blone laughs saying "you got what you wanted"

the end

didnt' see that coming

that wasn't so bad

kinda trying to be cosmic or h p lovecraft but with some ridley scott and john carpenter

its kinda low budget but its not hateable

despite being  bunch of britmoes

some effects are good and it has a few cool things

the monster sea giant is a guy in a suit and we never see it rom the waist down as i guess its a mass o tentacles like urotsukidoji

i think it would work better as an 80s movie wit more gore but its going for a sea ghost/he thing below but better effects

i like how theres no cellphones and the themes o ancient civilizations and giants under the artic

is that like the ningen of the poles?

And to be fair, a lot of other sci fi films has lower budgets

Its worth watching and don't feel long but is like 78 mins

glad I saw this one

For Gods Of The Deep 2 I want the tentacle monster in her body to et out and tae people out, growing bigger with each person consumed til it has its fill and returns to the sea. Also its a 128 bit game on Sega Dreamcast, GameCube, ps2 and xbox where you are the monster and go around the city eating people and gotta fight miliary and escape wen its too much.