Open Water Review

Note: I spell openly bad

Open Water

This is my review on Open Water from the distant future year to Oswald who THEY framed for solving an irish problem of 2003(the year we got Skies of Arcadia Legends)

Its directed by Chris Kentis who also wrote it

It stars Blanchard Ryan from Blue Bloods, Cristina Zenato from Shark Week and many guys not on back door, aids bag, frooty booty, gender offender, soy boy, beta male, banana crammer Creator hater, wiener cleaner, Sodom bottom, hippie stoner peta vegan tree kung fu base on plants, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear Wikipedia who sies with liars who don't now what they are

I never saw this but its made cheap and inspired by a real thing

after starting with the shore an text saying base on true events we seeome video of a guy phoning a man aying "ont put in the boiler til i get back"

then he calls a chick who leaves and has the front door locked as this isn't Japan where people are civilized

she gets in the car an he sez its a vacation

thenthey jet to an island or beach or w/e anopening credits an title

the camera work is kinda basic n feels home made

and the vieo quality looks low

but i like it

so she sez in the hotel room she didn't o her email an after a montage of island cr-p, tey'e naked in bed and we see her nips

they dont b0ne and he turns on the lights to get a bug

so in ay time they go on a boat lead by a bog black guy like android 18 does thins with as krillin watches in bz fanart

they're going to see sharks and we getta montage of em on a boa like that song by soviet snl

blackasaur gives a lesson on scuba then they go in the water

after some chatter main guy goes in and we see undersea footage o big a55 fish

they go on he boat an it goes ut forgot te main couple who's under the sea

they come up to see the boat gone and theorize what happened

main guy sez there's coral he saw near by so the boat probably drifted off

theres a boat in the distance but it might not be theirs an can leave at any time and they'd be furher rom their boat

a plane goes overhead like Rick Hunter in Robotech

they se they're drifting in current ana boat comes as they wave

then we see gaijin kids on the beach and the boat they were on returns

in the sea the guy p-ssed and girl sees a shark or dolphin

spoilers; olphns b0ne people WOC with out consent

its like gacy

good thing Japan cops em up

so  shar goes by em which scares chivk even though se petted one a bit ago

it goes and she wonders what to do so he sez they like wounded fish so don't splash

i like how the surface looks from under water, its like cg in reboot in 199X

they play 6 egrees of seperatipon or kevin bacon an se feels something bite her an he feels it soon

its jellyfish and they swim a bit then she whines of how she never heard of 2 pople left in the sea but he did in a magazine

they see a boatan wave but aint seen

he sez the boat gaijin di a head count an theur cr-p is on board so they'll find em

they might be getting dehyrated and she had a bit of sea water

goku; the ocean is salty cuz everyone pees in it

pan: hot!

se feels sic an has to p-ss n lter is lying in the sea as a shar goes under her

she notices the guys gone after spacing out  bit an alls to him

he hears an yells her name Daniel an susan like tianic but not as cr-ppy

they reunite an they ell asleep an drifted

she elt something on her leg that hurt

e chcks her leg an it was bit by fish or something anhe sez it wasn't a shark or it would eat her leg

his leg cramps an sharks come by surfacing so he has em stay together an still

then an effing megaloon sallows em whole

jk realy they go and he eventually screams and swears and sez they paid to come here

they bicker an blame eah other over lttle things that might've caused this

he blames her job and how it mae em go now instead of b4 but she se he chose the date

se sez he wanted to go skiing and we see a big boat for a bit an birds circling em

they drifted more and not like inital D and start swimming on

she finds she had cany or w/e in her pocket or a55 an they eat it but sharks come and he drops is knife

his leg gets f'd and i think he's gushing blood, yeah it got his calf

she sez he's gonna mae it and have a cool scar to how his friens

then island life at night which sounds like a sonic level, and a storm comes

the screen is ptch blackan we only see them when lightning comes on

a har comes and then its day an 1 gaijin sees their cr-p on the boat

susan Watkins? like Sky Watkins from La Blue Girl?

so it ay an they're still out there

she sees hes dead and eats him hen turns into a hermaphrodite

jk thats Go Nagai

o a chopper goes out an i think hes dead so she lets him go as this wants to be Titanic but not eating 5 hours

I thin the sharks eat him wait thers a swarm of em by her an they're spazing out

eventually se goes under an we see the boundless sea

hen creits as people caught a shark an chop it up

in its ut is a fish head an plastic thin rom he couple i think

the end

that was pretty goo

realistic and a good reason not to go to the sea

they lose you're body out there, it might as well be in space

either way it ain't coming back

i used to woner why its R Rated when its only people in the sea

but nips an swears did it

its well made and has a good home made style with simple but effective camera

the acting is good an it tells the story right

sorta lie a realistic paranormal acivity, but there are demons so thats kinda real too

Its not long and has a goo flow an no drag to 

For Open Water 2 I want it to be revealed they got cught y seahorse people in an undersea base that works with the gov an uses people lost in sea for expeiments. After most of the movie being them experimented on an evolved, they mutate an break out and ice the people an sea orse people on the base. Also its a 128 bit game on Sea Dreamcast, GameCube, xbox an ps2 where you do mini games to devolve the couple an the 2nd half is a game like The Hulk where you bust up and eat guys an mechs an other devolved people.