The Virgin Of Stamboul Review

 Note: Spell good like a virgin

The Virgin Of Stamboul

This is my review on The Virgin Of Stamboul from the istant future year to emon worshipper john jay of 1920(100 years before Transformers Super God Masterorce)

Its directed by Tod Browning who did The Wicked Darling/Outside the Law 1920/White Tiger/The Unholy Three 1925/The Show 1927/The Unknown 1927/West of Zanzibar 1928/Dracula 1931/Freaks/Mark of the Vampire/The Devil-Doll/The Blackbird/Where East Is East

It stars Priscilla Dean FROM tHE wICKED dARLING/White Tiger, Wheeler Oakman(Which sounds like a p0rn0)from The Crisis 1916/Outside the Law 1920, openly evil Wallace beerey who ended his kid from The Last of the Mohicans 1920/The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse 1921/White Tiger 1923/The Sea Hawk 1924/The Lost World 1925/The Champ 1931/Treasure Island 1934, E. Alyn Warren from Outside the Law 1920/The Unholy Three 1925/The Trail of '98/Son of the Gods/Abraham Lincoln 1930/The Hatchet Man/The Mask of Fu Manchu 1932/The Devil-Doll/Gone with the Wind, Nigel De Brulier from Intolerance 1916/The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse 1921/The Hunchback of Notre Dame 1923/Ben-Hur 1925/Don Juan 1926/Wings 1927/Noah's Ark 1928/Moby Dick 1930/Rasputin and the Empress 1932/The Three Musketeers 1935/A Tale of Two Cities 1935/San Francisco 1936/Mary of Scotland 1936/Marie Antoinette 1938/The Man in the Iron Mask 1939, Edmund Burns from  The Birth of a Nation, Eugenie Forde rom nothing I saw and some guys not on back door, aids bag, frooty booty, Sodom bottom, wiener cleaner, gender offender, soy boy, beta male, banana crammer, b0ner smoker, Creator hater, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, candy a55 Wikipedia who never questions the real lies.

I never saw this b4 but I like cr-p by Tod Browning

after title and credits we hear its in stamboul by Constantinople

they worship their god and the poors by the gate want alms

only men go in their temple as their god sez women don't got souls (well, if its French women...)

in the side areas theres no 10 Commandments and the best is like the worst

Remember when the courts said its ok to have The 10 Commandments up and the demon lovers whined?

THEY must love murder, stealing and adultry. plus worshipping pagan gods and lying.

Sounds like sinead o connor

sari is a beggar and unveiled virgin who tryys buying bread but the owner sleeps so she takes it

imagine if she was sleeping and a guy starts b0ning her cuz he didn't wanna wake her nor ask for consent

that was in SVU. This guy found a girl on a bench, then cut to cops taking him away saying "I'd not have done thar if I knew she was alive"

she wastes the food on puppys which their god sez are bad as a broken clock is right 2 a day

in the desert is the black horse brigade lead by an American who sailed the seas

his aide captain kassan is put in charge til they meet in stamboul

in the desert is a village lead by hamid who's not chinese like in beavis and butthead

hamid an his caravan are heading to stabboul to his harem

in the bazaar of yusei i mean yusef bey a guy sold a britmo an amernian rug made in soviet new jersey

outsourcing

1 guy is hector baron whos not careful and caught a hot turk chick from the shiek hamids harem

but she's been b0ned by other guys!

good thing THEY didn't make AIDS yet

Sari comes by begging but a guy dont wanna give so she sees his coffee has bugs like a 3rd world slum kid add

she gets a cloth this guy is holding and puts it to another guy then has yusef gives her a stick to eat

She talks to the Americans and 1 feels her arm but she pulls his arm off hers and tells him off

1 guy waves to i think a harem girl dressed like an ancient like in Babylon who sez the American is here so make sure we're alone

guys come and she sez go or hamid'll get cha so they go

she goes up to an American im not sure which 1 and they make out

in the real version they were b0ning

sari has birds come off the roof to her and has em eat outa her mouth or make out with her as a guy i think the American main guy comes by

hamid comes and the door is locked so he comes in and her us bf books it but hamid sees the cigarette and grills her in it

she trys smoking it and he knows if he opens the door to the us bf he'd have to end him

he sez she used the smoke/ey to make him jealous and for his doubt he'd atone y getting her a gift

he goes out and she lets us bf out of the closet

hamim watches as harem chick sez she can't go as women are forbidden from their gods temple  but he wont go til she promises and i se loves him she'd come

they go as hamid watches and i think main guy sez one day he'd bring sari to America

yeah cuz a place that don't like Italianoes is gonna be ok with a turk

1 guy sez he wants to take a woman to their gods temple to tach her to pray but is told women aint allowed in there

sari hears and i think main guy wants to teach her himself

sari hears and goes off and steals and is this Aladdin?

she gets a coak and covers herself and goes in a place with checkrboard floors like demon worshippers have

she sees hamid pulls a knife and ice a White guy but sari yells, hamid sees and goes back

hamid gives his harem chick a knife with her butt buddys blood, hector baron

she throws it into a wood thing and he sez you tell anyone ur next

a guy comes by this guy in a fez like the demon worshippers and devolved kids who sez a guy was iced in their temple by a woman

main guy sees an item and recognizes it as coins the sari dropped and theres no other clue

he wanted to learn the truth and asks yusef then goes to sari's place to tell her what happened but she sez its the shiek who did it and can't tell as women who go in there get executed

like maruta going in the emperors city

she sez she went there to learn to pray as an Englishman said her soul was vile 

they pray w/o title cards and I think she's gonna get a new god

she trys coffee by pouring it in the coaster and drinking from it

a colored guy sez she'd do well in a harem but she lols and mouths of to him an leaves

she sees a veiled chick with an American who comes by her and sez he loves him

they have a catfight over a guy like degrassi or springer and a guy comes by so she lets the veiled chick go

i thin its main guy and he gives her a flower the leaves

she b--ches out and rips up the innocent lower

in the sultana cafe like macs cafe in art of fighting on snes which is a bar in the real version, is europeany dancing like slavs or w/e on a stage

saru goes up and dances as hamid watches wanting her for his harem

he tells a guy to give 1000 money to her mom and wants to marry her

sari leaves as main American goes after her to talk and walks her home as a guy working for hamid follows

American hero sez tomorrow he returns to the  desert but wants to marry her when he gets back

text sez their kind have cr-ppy love and engagements and she cant look at her future husbands face  until the weeding

later she pays a guy who goes and wait i think thats someone else, and i think she was paid

is that sarui's mom?

so its a feast day shes gonna be married and hamid gives her fine fabric which she dont want

mom i think puts em on her but he seems bummed and mom hugs her

she prays and text sez if their god willed it, they'd go with it

sari sees her wedding day as the end and yusef deals with i think the mom and sells her cr-p

yusef i think bickers with a guy and a White guy i think the main guy is there but yusef sez its too late and he's her life  and she comes there to cry every day

main guy is bummed  but yusef sez its a marriage by proxy and the shieks proxy likes money

he talks to i think shieks slave and wants him to be his proxy

sari is in some Babylon like outfit and a buncha gaijin come in with the minion showing a guy a note

they go the wedding ritual and  a beardo signs this thing as does a guy in White like The Moonlight Knight in Sailor Moon

a guy sez tell ur master to flee as hes betrayed

hamid or ham like in the bible comes in and sari is looking down

she dont want that THIMG b0ning her

he tries but she shoves it off and rips off her robes to the main dress

main guy coms in saying hes here for his wife and shows the paper

hamid is gonna pull something but main guy grab it and they fight

a guy sez resha betrayed him, is that like Rasetsu in Getter Robo Go?

the caravan needs hamids command so he grabs sari and flees wi9th her as i think main guy is held by gaijin

he chases and fights the guys as hamid escapes with the chick

in this village like Kul Elna in Yugioh, a masked hero garrots a guy and sneaks around

he escapes on a horse as a guard fires

guy are sent after him in a mad max chase

the guy ets to stamboul and a he  ells a cop, a guy camel jacks him so the cop cap the theif

yusef i think talks to the fez guy and oe guys go to a camp an get this army of horsemen to ride in

by an oasis a sentry waits or an enemy attack and rides out seeing em coming

i think its hamid ruling the town as the horsemen attack 

the gate can only be opened from the insde

hamid sees i think main guy in there ad pulls a gun that don't work

they fight as the battle goes on outside and guys climb on each other to form a tower like babal to get over the wall

they cap the guy trying to get over so i think sari wants to o over and fake being dead

wait the masked hero is her andi guess she gor out

she ets over as the 2 guy wanting er fight for a knife, a phaIIic image o men asserting dominance like animals battling over a mate

sari caps a guy an main guy gets beat on fighting hamid guy goes after him,

they have a monkey knife fight as sari beats on guys and busts heads on stone walls

Sari goes up seeing he ceiling crumbling and backs down scared as hamid cut up comes down with a knife

its like Europe after gaijin

he dies and blood stained American hero comes don and they kiss

the end

hat was pretty cool

nice romance and action

good drama

not too long

didn't expect a battle scene from todd browning but he did it well

a lot of refs to his dark roup that rles from te shadwos

good twist

they kinda dropped the chick who's butt buddy he iced but it makes sence as she didn't wanna risk getting chopped up

i figured there' be a final battle between the 2 love interests

the chick was spunky like a 90s girl and had toughness and chutzpa

the guys were har to tell apart plus the film quality was cr-ppy but i got the gist of it

also its tough to get whats going on rom the title card wor choices

but its a solid film and todd did a nice one here

For The Virgin Of Stamboul 2 I want them to come to America and she's amazed that women can show hair and be outside unaccompanied and buy things but see feminists whining they want more, and she tries to explain its already great, so the feminists go after her being a "traitor" and she beats em down as she's tough from hard living in the desert. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, Atari jaguar and gba were 1 player is the sari and the other is the husband and they beat on feminists and beta males wanting to take over,