Game Reviews Volume 20 From 2022 Part I

A compilation of reviews of games I played and/or beat since my last Review Volume

Just beat Top Fighter 2000 MK VIII on Sega Genesis. Its kind of a Bootleg version of one of the King Of Fighters Games or something but with some random choices for fighters. We got Ryu, Geese Howard, Cyclops from X Men, Kyo Kusanagi, Ryo from Art of Fighting, Goku, Cassius Clay and Michael Jordon. I got a copy from the Soviet Union in one of those smaller boxes and its got a Mortal Kombat cover. B and C attack and A does nothing. You can pause and there's options to have it on Easy, Normal or Hard, 30, 60 or 99 Second Timer and best of 1 or 3 rounds. You spazz on the D Pad and press buttons to do moves and pressing Toward and B does nothing. Holding back can block and when someone does a Super Move: The game waits for a sec to make it look dramatic, but it just gives you time to press Back to Block. Its not too hard and i was actually able to loop guys with low kicks and timing. You get Unlimited Continues and after beating all 8 fighters: You get a Win Screen and that's it. It plays pretty well and has nice graphics and music ripped off from other games like Ryu using the Power Rangers Music they play when the Zords come together. Its got a 2 player mode to go head to head and some of the guys who gave me trouble were Cassius and Ryu. Its worth the few bucks you'll shell out to but a repro of this. Glad I did this one. Come for the Zany Crossover, Stay for the good fights.

Just finally beat Virtua Racing on Sega Genesis. Its a Racing Game with a Special Chip in it to process the graphics on the Genesis. Its got these Polygon Graphics and simple by todays standards but in 1994 it was really impressive to see this on the Genesis. A is Brake, B is Gas and C Changes the Camera from 1 of 4 view points (I prefer the highest one so you can see more ahead of you, but you can also go 1st person or 2 others). There's 3 tracks and if you do something, I think beat all on Normal or Hard, You unlock Mirror Versions of em where they play reversed. The music is good but to get the Credits: You gotta beat any of the 3 Tracks on Hard once. But its quite tough as you gotta get in 1st place and when the race starts: The other racers are at full speed and you gotta build it up.  If you touch a wall you crash and if you go over non pavement you slow down. Going by other cars increases your speed but you can crash up if done wrong. In the Beginner Track the hardest part is the Swerving zig zag area and the U Turn right after. If you let go the gas near the end of the zig zag for a bit you can avoid the sand the U Turn you gotta let go of the gas after entering it and keep hitting Right to get through, but hit the Gas when at the right point in the U Turn. Left and Right on the D Pad Steer and you can only turn so much with 1 press and hold, so you gotta tap and hold it right to do it. The menu is kinda off as you press a button to choose it, then press it again to confirm, which is pointless Like how in Ovens you gotta set the temp then choose Bake or Broil, So I put my Pizza in and 20 mins later: Its still cold cuz I forgot to put it on Bake! This game is pretty unforgiving and if you wanna beat it: There's no cheats, Just build skill. When 1st released this gamer was like 100$ cuz of the chip, but I got it used for like 5. I'm not big on racing games but this was ok. I doubt I'll play this again but I'm glad I beat it,

Just beat Zettai Muteki Raijin Oh on Gameboy. Its a simple quick 8 bit fighter where you play as Mechs from the 90s Anime in 8 battles with no Lives or Continues. A is jump, B is attack, Start is pause and Select opens the menu. Its in Japanese but I can read a bit so its not so bad. Typically you gotta jump over the enemy shots, go up to him and spam, the Attack button while pressing Right. In the Menu you can choose (From top to bottom) Weapon, Body and Combine. Weapon opens a choice of usually Nothing and below it is Missile or Sword. Missile has limited Ammo but does more Damage and Nothing is just physical attacks. In Body you Swap between formes and each has its own life bar and Ammo. When the foe gets to around 3 Squares: You gotta use Combine to bring the Zords Together and have access to stronger attacks and Weapons, as you can't do more Damage in the smaller formes. After you Combine your Weapons are from Top to Bottom: Nothing, Sword (Which is just longer reaching physical attacks), Flash (a small shot), Shield (A bigger Shot) and Gravity Wave(Which stuns the foe for a bit but I think damages you if you get close). After a few rounds of this: You start in your Combined Forme and get 2 other Mechs to fight with, and a stronger Combined Forme. The new Mechs are: A humanoid that's Weapons are: Nothing, Drill (Like Sword) and Bazooka (A Shot) from top to bottom, and the other one just has Nothing and Missile. Then in the final Combined Forme you have Nothing, Sword, Bazooka, Shield and Gravity Wave(Like Gravion Zwei??). Usually you wanna battle the enemy and use your Weapons up until you have like 2-3 Squares of Life left, then switch and continue, Then repeat until all 3 are used, OR if you get him down to 3 Squares before using all your guys: Just Combine and unleash your Shots, then use Sword. Decent Graphics and Fine Music. It controls ok but many times hits don't hit, but its not a big deal. It can be beat in like 15 mins. Glad I tried it.

Just beat Naruto: Ninja Council 3 on DS. Its kind of a 2D Fighting Beat Em Up thing where you do Missions. After clearing all the D Rank missions, the C rank ones are unlocked and after beating the C Ranks, the B's are, and so on. But the Missions are on a Grid design and after clearing a Column or Row: The one on the end is unlocked and is usually an A or S  Rank You can use any Ninja for a mission, except a few where it Must be the chosen one) and some Missions let you customize the Ninja with other players Jutsu. A is jump, Y is attack, Hold B to run and X throws Weapons if you have one, but Throws when close. To do Jutsu you use the Touch Screen and do a mini game like Choosing the Hand Sign Symbols or Blow into the Mic or Spazz on the Screen or the Jutsu don't work. If you get hit before the Mini Game starts then the Jutsu don't go and you used the Chakra and need to wait for it to refill. Some Jutsu can nuke the screen so if you need to beat a lot of small frys in a time limit, then run and jump around to  make sure they are out, then do the Jutsu. You get unlimited tries to do the Missions and it saves after each one. Often I find myself facing the wrong way or the foe isn't hit by my Jutsu as I cast it and I gotta try again. Its not a hard game and has voice clips from the Dub Actors. Good graphics like the GBA Games and nice music. It plays pretty well and if you are a fan of the show, its gonna mean more. It took me  under 7 hours to beat and I enjoyed it. The Jutsu have Unskipable Cut Scenes but its not too rough. When you turn on the game you get like 6 logo's in a row you can't skip, but its not the worst. You unlock new Ninja by beating certain missions and they have their own speed, power and Jutsu. I'm glad I did this one. Its not that hard, but not every game has to be Battletoads.

Just beat Naruto Shippuden: Ninja Council 4 on DS. Gotta say, its not as good as the 3rd one. Its got good graphics and sound but the gameplay was kind of a downgrade. A is jump, B is hold to Run, X is Weapon and Y is attack. You get 3 lives and unlimited Continues to beat 10 levels that usually have 4 acts: 2 platform levels and 2 boss fights. But you only save after beating the 2nd boss and if you run outta guys at any point before that: You gotta do the Whole thing over. You can use Jutsu with the Touch Screen and play a Mini Game like moving the Stylus back and forth or matching the hand signs. But you gotta tap the screen and  your character does the move to use it like running into the foe. If you get hit before  making contact: The Jutsu don't work and you used up Chakra. Also the Hand Sign thing is worse now as it spins left, then right, so yo can't cycle through all the signs, though you can tap the signs in any order. Also you can choose 23 partners who you can summon with the Touch Screen to do a Screen Attack, then once its recharged, you can do it again. There is a story that covers the 1st arc in Shippuden and it ends in Sasori, which is like that Hokuto No Ken game that ends with Susa Gumo as the final boss. If you fall too far the screen shakes and your stunned, which is bad if you land on a platform as it can fall when you can't move and drop you in a pit. The Lower screen has a map that shows the area around you but often you gotta make leaps of faith. It does show breakable walls as paths so if you see an opening, just punch it. Also you get points based on how well you did and can buy new moves and characters with em. Its not a bad game and gets better as you go on, but some parts are gonna make you mad. Also there's loading times and The Title Screen can only be advanced with Start, but on the Filer Select: Start ERASED the File!! Why would you do that?! Glad I played it, but I doubt I'll play it again.

Just beat Metal Slug 7 on DS. Its a 2D Run N Gun game where you go through 7 levels of wasting dudes and robots. Its got pretty nice Graphics and the music is good as are the voices. You choose which buttons attack, use grenades, jump, cycle weapons and other things in the options. After you beat a level it saves and when you start again you can go to any level you unlocked and continue from there. It stats pretty simple and gets quite tough after a while. You get 3 lives and 4 continues so its like 15 guys and choosing what level to start with always has them full. If you bite it you go back to starting levels of grenades and no power ups and using a continue is the same as biting it as you just continue where you fell. You got several characters to play as and each has their own abilities like better firepower in a vehicle or stronger gun. I used Eri as she's got extra Grenades. There's 3 levels of difficulty and beating a level on any of them unlocks it to any difficulty, You can get in vehicles and they give you the edgy but you gotta jump out if they take enough gits or it wacks you. You bite it in 1 hit and theres often a lot of chaos on the screen so you don't know what did you in. It plays well but I felt there were times when they was no way out of getting hit and at times it felt like I pressed Duck but it didn't and I got iced. You can't jump down through things but its not so rough usually. You can get Power Ups by freeing blonde bearded guys (The Amish?!) and the touch screen shows where they are hidden on a map. The attack button uses a firearm but if you're close it used a blade to cut them out. Its a good game but kinda tough. I beat this without looking up a guide and it took all night. Oh and power ups have limited ammo. Glad i played this. Oh and you can't really fire on diagonals, but when firing some weapons and aiming around, a few shots go that way.

Just beat Mario Party 1 on N64. Its like a board game where you hit dice blocks that go from 1-10 and wander around the various game boards collecting coins to get stars. After each player moves, you play a Mini Game based on what colored squares the players landed on. You can have a 4 way, 1 on 3 or 2 on 2 Mini Game depending on depending on who got more Red or Blue colors(Green is wild and changes to Red/Blue randomly for game selection). After you get a star, the space the star was on turns to a ! spot that has Chance Time that has you roll dice to choose 2 players and an action like swap stars or 1 player steals 20 coins. The ? Squares do some effect depending on the board you are on and Red is lose coins while Blue is get coins. There are Mini Game Squares that let you do a 1 player Mini Game. If a player loses certain Mini Games, they lose coins and winning em gets coins. Each Mini Game has some action to do like tap a button a lot or spin the A Stick or jump at the right time. After the rounds you chose to play the game for are done you get bonus stars, 1 for winning the most coins in games, having the highest number of coins at any time, and landing on the most ? Squares. If 2 players have the same number they both get 1. After the game, you add your coins and stars to the bank and can buy things like Bowsers Level or the Credits or more options like "No Boo on a Game". Once you get 100 stars you unlock the final level based on a shattered star and got Baby Bowser dealing in Stars. There's also a Mini Game Island where you play a different kind of board game 1 on 1, but I never did it. There's also a place to play Mini Games for fun. The Graphics and music are good but some games like Crane Game don't let you win if the player grabs you no matter how much you tap buttons. I played this as a 90s kid but never did the whole thing  and only played the final level once. Its a great game and holds up well with only a few minor things. Glad I went through it.

Just beat the Nes Game Gremlins 2: The New Batch on my DS R4. Its kind of a Top Down Run N Gun Platformer like the bad levels in Super C  but actually kinda good. A is Jump and B is fire and Start Pauses. You get unlimited triers to get by 5 levels that have varying numbers of acts. There's also a 4 letter Password to continue where you left off but if you bite it on a boss you gotta do the area that leads up to it again. You get 3 Hearts but can get a 4th from a shop sometimes by buying the Heart in a Shop that shows up in some levels. You buy this with what look like Marbles you collect from beating enemies and biting it costs you all of em. You can also get a P Capsule that powers up your weapon that changes from level to level. The music is great as its by Sunsoft and its got excellent 8 bit graphics and cutscenes based on the movie. It controls well but I find airing at diagonals is kinda tricky. You get 1 Balloon per life (but can get more from a shop) that lets you recover from falling in a pit and lets you float over the next bit of space for a few seconds. Some platforming is tricky but not impossible. Falling in a pit just sends you back to where you last jumped from, but if you used a balloon and fall, it sends from where you fell before ballooning. The bosses take a bunch of its but can be beat by running, turning and firing. Its a good game that holds up well even if its a bit tough. 1 thing that bugged me was how on the Password Screen UP goes Z Y X and Down goes A B C, seems backwards to me. Its worth a playthrough and can be beat in like half an hour if perfect, but with mistakes took me like 2 hours. Glad I did this one.

Just beat Warsong/Langrisser 1 on my 100 Sega Genesis Games Ds Repro Cart. Its a SRPG like Advance Wars meets Fire Emblem where you move your guys and their troops around the board and battle enemies over terrain that gives bonus's. Different types of character do better against others with a Triangle of Archers beating Horsemen, who beat Soldiers, Who beat Archers. When you move a character to a spot you can attack or just sit there and can't go back after you selected to move there. You also have Magic that uses Magic Points that is refilled with each new area. If a character bites it they can't come back so you're better off just returning to the last save. Theres also an Interrupt Feature that's like a Quick Save that you can go back to after restarting the console. You get a 4 Save File Slots and if you lose a battle, you just return to the menu before the battle. You can equip items that give different boosts and but up to 8 of 1 type of troop per area. As you beat guys, you level up and can change Classes to get stronger and different abilities. There's a Command option that lets you choose how you want your troops to autopilot but the AI in this game is pretty bad and often enemy's send wave after wave of their own men to fall against a guy they can't touch. You can Treat to heal 3 points of damage and everyone starts with 10 HP and at 0 they bite it. Troops who start a round net to the commander recover 3 HP. The Commanders are stronger than the Troops and can cream a lot of guys depending on Class. Its got a good story that actually has some surprises and has great music and nice graphics. A does a Map Zoom out and in, B is Back and C is Confirm. I was thinking of skipping this after not being able to get through the 1st level w/o anyone biting it, but after finding out the NPC's can bite it in Level 1, I went through it and had a great time. Its a worthy game and is best with a Guide. Battle can turn out different if you save then retry the same fight. There's also this Anti Magic Bug that I heard of that makes the enemy Leaders Immune to Magic, but I never encountered it. By the end of the  game, you have high enough Magic to take out the last few bosses easy, but make sure you don't waste it all on the regular guys. There's only a limited number of enemy's in the game, so if you want to do be stronger, its best to take out the Enemy Troops 1st, then save the Leader for last. As if you take out the Leader, all his troops go. Also you get more money to buy Troops from beating more enemy's. Some troops are better against some enemy's like Guardsmen on Slimes.

Just beat The Ninja for Master System on my 200 Genesis and Master System Games Repro Cart. Its a Top Down Run N Gun like Pocky and Rocky or the Bad Levels in Contra Games. 1 button throws Shurikens in the direction you're facing, the other fires straight ahead/up and both at the same time does the Ninja Magic to Vanish for a sec and still move around so you don't get hit while invisible, Kinda like Nightcrawler in X Men. You get like 3 lives (2 1 and 0) but get an extra one at 30 000 points, then again every 100 000. After each of the levels you get an Accuracy score that goes up to 100% and you get more point the higher yo do. There's Ninja Scrolls to collect that do different things, Red makes your Shuriken stronger and can go through guys and take out more than 1 in 1 hit, Blue makes you move faster, and Green is where you have 5 hidden in the same places in the game to collect to get to the True Final Boss. You can stop enemy Shuriken by firing yours at em and some levels are auto scrolling with stuff to avoid. At the end of each level is the same boss but he throws a Super Shuriken that plows through your shots in 1 level. The enemy's appear in the same place each time so you just gotta memorize where to go. It can be beat in like 10 mins on a perfect run but i find its easier to retreat and fire Up to take the guys out. Like that Power Rangers Drug Add: A Safe trip home is worth a few extra minutes. Its pretty tough and takes some time to learn. The Graphics are good and it has nice music that reminds me of Boys by smile DK. I'm glad I played it but I don't think I'll play it again. Oh and if you take out several guys with 1 Shuriken: It can make your Hit Number more than the Shot Number but it only goes up to 100%. Not bad but can be annoying and tough. Oh and no Continues. get hit 3-6 x and its back to the start screen.

Just beat Rent A Hero on my 100 Genesis Games DS Multicart. Its sort of a Rpg but instead of Final Fantasy battles you do kind of an Altered Beast/.Last Battle 2D fight. C is Jump or Confirm in Menu, B is Attack or Back in Menu, and A is Super Attack or Break Rocks in a Cave. You play as this teen who looks like Axel from Streets of Rage and become a Super Hero by getting a Power Suit like Batman Beyond. You do missions like Delivering Food or Solving Crimes or basically helping people and getting paid for it. You get random fights and win Money or Items  but story needed fight don't giver you Jack. You save at your home but later get an item to save anywhere. Its got good start of the 90s graphics and pretty Genesis sounding Music and the controls in the fight need a bit of getting used to, but aren't too bad. Could use some Tuning on Hit Detection. Some parts night need a guide to get through like trying to get the Tape top play in your room as the Tape Deck isn't defined. You an Search and Talk in Menu and you gotta pay a Rental Fees to keep the suit. If you are late, you gotta pay more and they take the suit til you pay. You can't pause in fights and some parts don't let you save. You can carry up to 8 items and after getting the Bracelet its 7, and you gotta buy Batteries and Drinks to restore Power and Life and you can extend the Max by Donating to the Company and buying an item from it for 2000. You also get stronger Super Attacks by donating and the Company invents em. There's a lot of Sega refs in here and the Company is called SeCa with an Arcade in 1 city with Sega Games. If you bite it you wake up in the Hospital and pay a fee, then gotta walk back to try again. Some fights you gotta lose. It was not released here but has a Fan Translation that is pretty fun. Good story and characters and humor. Glad I did this one. Its worth a playthrough. Oh and you take a free Train to other areas so no overworld and it don't count as time running for payments.

Just beat Xena: Warrior Princess: The Talisman of Fate on N64. Its a 3D Fighting Game based on the 90s show where you play as 1 of the characters and fight the others. Good N64 Graphics and Music and the Voices are nice The C Buttons are Light and Heavy Punch and Kick, Z is Crouch, R is Jump, You can Pause and I never really used A and B(I think 1 blocks?), But you can change them in the options. You can play on Mortal God or something in between as Easy, Hard and Normal and all it does is give you a different ending when you beat the game and makes the enemy's less rough.  I beat it in under 8 mins after setting it to 2/3 rounds and 30 second matches on Easy and only lost 3 -4 fights. Its not bad but on my TV has bad lighting so its tough to see what's going on. I used Autolycus as he's Bruce Campbell and spamming C Down got me through many fights. The A Stick and C Buttons can do different moves, as can crouching. It can save on a Controller Pack but its usually for unlocking more characters and High Scores. Its a decent game and one of the better fighting games I've done on N64. Its got music from the show like Joxer's Theme and has a bit of the Show's humor to it. Glad I played this one.

Just beat The Jungle Book on my 100 Game Gear Games GBA Multicart. Its a platformer where 1 button is jump and 1 is throw bananas and you can swap em in the options. I played on easy and you get Unlimited Continues to get through 11 levels, some are bosses, and get 4 guys per Continue. Some levels have you collect 8 gems and others have you find the panther. Its kinda tricky and you do have a life bar but there's a bunch of levels with pits. Some parts have small things to jump across that you gotta be quick on the button to get across. If you bite it then all the enemies return but the gens are still on you, until you use a continue and gotta start over. Good graphics and nice music but the controls could be better. The game tells you what the mission is at the start and the bosses I beat with Attrition by firing until one of us fell. The snake springs take some tries as you gotta jump on em 2-3x to get the angle right as its got a momentum thing where you gotta go in it at the right direction, and holding Jump lets you go higher on it. Its not bad but can be kinda annoying to get through. Glad I played it but I doubt I'll play it again. Oh and its by Virgin like the bad Double Dragon Game Gear one. Oh and there's a level select you access by going clockwise or counterclockwise around the D Pad as the opening credits go and on the start of the game you can choose your level.

Dark City Review

 Note: I spell like the destiny herto dfield magic

darjk city

this is my review on dartk cfity from 1950 

it stars charlton heston from ben hur, Viveca Lindfors from the 60s King of Kings, Dean Jagger from Game of Death, Ed Begley 1 from 12 angry men, harry morgan from m a s h, Walter Sande from mr smith goes to weashington (and gets f'd dead by a horse), Mike Mazurki from its a mad mad mad mad world,m and othert 1900s guy i dont know oif

its directed by William Dieterle who did A Midsummer Night's Dream, the 30s hunchback of notre dame AND Duel in the Sun

i never saw it b4 but heard nothing of it

after logos and title and credits, we get a guy, wait its moses walking with a packege as credits go by

a cop raid happpens in a buklding near by and charlton gives a packagfe to sent to a guy to his kid

charlton goes to the raided place with was a gamblingh thing and col potter from m a s h is tyhere

the copos raided this a few times and charlton tells a guy on the phone about how he paid the money for it

sdome guys come by and 1 is a captain of the vice squad asnd charlton sz he paid for protection, liken a union making you pay dues

captain sez he has no evidence on moses but will get some and leaves

potter sez they otta go to soviet vegas as anythings legal there

a blonde sings a si=ong in a club and after that, opens her gift for Easter with heston there and is glad its an item for her

they might break up as his business got raided and she talks about how she loves her i man him but hes wantsaa to keep her distant

later heston pitter and soem guys are playing cards but wait, hestons bot polaying

1 guy has an ulcer and drinks his medicine but the glass has a hol e in it as a joke and he gets p-ssed his suiit goty f'd

thern we get the blonmde singing and moses talks with a guy about how they saved soviet england in the war, which seeing how england went, may have been a mistake

heston invites him to a card game and heston and war guy turn down the blonde as i guess they dont like blondes

so the war guy seems friendly and plasysd cards and has a 2 am deadline for the fame i mean game

blonde comes by and war guy wins and gives heston a bill

1 guy sez they wantr a remach and war guy sez tomorrow night and that he's gonna have  dinner with blonde

war giyn has to get his bro at the airporte and goes off and the casino or w/e guys are malcontent over  losing a cardf game like kaibsa or something

blonde tries toi help heston not be so butt hurt as she hates her job and guys finding her hot and he dont care so she runs home

later they are card gaming and win by cheating but he has a 5000 $ check thats not his, so they get him to play on using credit

he eventually loses and sighns them ofer the check as blojnde comes in and he leaves

this is what ahppens when you use money thats not yours, including creiit

wow wwe're 25% in, that felt like nothing

later blonde asks if the gaem was rigged and he doesn't confirt noir deny it and sez hes havign a homie clear the check

but she reads in the paiper the wear guy hung himself and at the club, 1 guy don't care and blames the victim for joingin the game they seduced him into

they dont wanna use the check ands da phionew rings and potter trells the guy on fone he i mean the club location

potter ewants the cops to shoot the place up for driving that guiy to h-ll and sez heston is worse as he knows better

later hestone is at home and blonde comes by, probably to b0ne, and she tries comforting him

btw this is bv/w and in PROPER fullscreen weith no black bars eating haldf the screen

they make out as in the REAL: vcersion they were b0ning and he's not intyo it

da fdone rings and he ignores itbut cant take it and gets it as its the ulcer guy who's gut is f'd

he thinks hes being followed as i think its the crow who has come back to avenge the killing

heston hangsn up and leaves him to spazz out as a cat jumops in a garbage can and he goes out to talk with a chick about his worry

he goes up to her place and gets booze but she sends him to his apartment to drink his alcoholic posion

the windowe he closedis open and when he chex itr out, a dark hand grabs him through the curtains and ernds him

the cops call in heastone and the cheat guy who dont care and dinds i mean finds the ulcer guy was trrangled and strung up to look like hes hanged

cheat guy and heston have alibi's and cop akds heston who did it, but they dont know

cop tells em about war guy going to h e double california and now ulcer mo got it

war guy had a woman and son and there was a note buti mwean envolope and no note and war guys brother sez the guys whos jyuud him were guilty of merder

hestron and homie go out thinking the guy whodid ulcern wass nthe boterhrt i mwean brother and cheat guy wants to follow sometone but heston sez its too risky

also we se the hand wuitrh the ring that iced ulcerer

after another song by blonde, heston goes out for a smoke  and blonde fillows and they go by the river

they look at a bnoat and heston talks about the river styx  and she wants him to tell about the thing but he sez the heat is on

she wants to marry him but he married another chick b4 but she ran out and niow he dont trust women

hestonn sees a guuy in the fog and goes off and to a hotel or something and the guy working there is new and sez another guy got his key to his room

heston goes to the next room and gets a firearm, or heater as its known in the 50s, and puts a pin in the doorbell and comes in as he's checking

but its cheat guy and he sez he was loking for him and wanted to wait foir him

they are going paranoid and heston sez cheat only goes afetr guys weaker trhan him

cheat hoes off and later heston goes out and coip i think lights his smoke and sez they are at the scene of the crime and killers oftyen rewturn there

cop has mexican heston come back to the station and trhere he sez heston iced an officer but was AQUITTED AND it was only his woman

he wernt bad after that and he sez his woman was britytish anbd is soviet england and never returned home after the war

also his dad was in west point like rhett butler and cop sez the war guys brother tried to protect his brother aNDS HESTON bight be next

cop sez howe in the slaughter house, sheep are afraid so they go with the other sheep and go with the flow

when a gate open, they gpo and get iced, kinda like with the gov saying theres a problem and their medical solution is just gonna end us

heston wont help cop and col egst p-ssed and sez unlunlike the slum dinks, hewstion has a chance butr dont weanna do anything about it

cop tells him to gtfo of townb and then we get anbother song by the blonde

so at the cloub heston chats with cheat about what o do with teh bnrother they dont knowe what he looks ike and he sends cheet out toi do something and he'd go later

cheat wanrts tjhe 5000$ check and heston sez he wontr be hard tro find

is this gonna be like Erich Von Stroheims Greed where the money destorys them?

heston leasves but ring hand is there and gones on

after cheat searech offscreen, there is no info on the brother and heston sez; if we dont findf him after 7 days, we do the check and split

heston gores to the war guiys house and the guys son is home alone AND F--KING TELLS A STRANGER THERE;'S NO ONE THERE while he;'s PLAYING IN THE FRONT YARD!!

giood thing there was no guys into young guy in the 50s, although gacy wass 80s and albert fish was 1910s

heston sez hes in ther insurance company and needs to see the brother butb she can';t help him as she had enough of the cops

she sez war guy was robbed and when heston sed "he made his voices" she sez "if you knew him you woyulkdnty say that"

he sez he just needs a photo and she sez if he coms back at noon tomorrow she hcan help as she has to make dinner

nowadays people woulkd whjine about it being racist that woman cook dinner

at the hotelcheat sez he may have talked to a guy who is friends with brother and suspects him and now cheat wants to do the check

hesten sez no and they fight but hotel guy sez stfu and later if they wanna fightm, go elksewhere

so heston and wife go byu the place wiht the photos but the hosue keeper is out foir a few days or somewthign and wife sez she thinks heston looks somewhat familliar

hesaton and hisn victims fam go to the amusement park as i guess the kid dont got school

after that heston takers hert to a planetarium as they are nerds or something and they talk about how she met war guy b4 the awar and son was 3 when he returned

she goos oon about how things change after the war and the stars dont change as we can't reach them

thats deep

later this mexico wait its the wife looks for pictures of brother but its revealed that she got rid of all them and fears the brother as he might take her son as she might bring him  to ewutope

weell, i wouldnt wanna be in that sodfom hole weither

so she reveals brother weas in the nuthouse and is nuts and she was ok with him wacking the guys who uiced her man

the son listens to a recording of his dad from the war and goos too bedd

she sez she never really loved him and might have to sell as she can't affords it w/o him

he sez the policy might get her 10 000 $ and they kiss even though hes married and she,m wel;l hger mans in h-ll so shes not married nowe

he admits to beign the one who played with her m,an and sent him tyo h e double engl;and and she rtemembers him from the statuon

she gets p-ssed at him for good reason and the kid named billy like macgarnicle and wants to go to the movies weith him tomorrow

hestrion leaves and at da hotel, the cheat is not there

her finds him hanging in the bathroom asnd the cvops comer in and boiok him as the hotel guy sez they fought last night

cop from b4 comes by and gets heston outta jail and sez he knows the brother took out cheat

the head of murder division sez heston has to skip town or stay in jail and heston sez he wants to expose the brother

so he goes to soviet vegas and meets harry morhgan from m a s h whos working there

hestons outta dough som harry ett the spy egst him workj there

1 guy he works wioth sez he iced a guy in a boxing match and tried go pay off the dam but the fam wouldnt take it

heston sez "why? ytou didnt do anything wrongh, it was the business" kinda like ihn Wings how that guy's victims fam sez "it wasn't you, it was the war"

but this moviue has a brain and says it was his fault

so blonde comes by and wants heston like the pharaohs daughter and i think starts work there

brother coems by AND KID SEZ MOMMYS not home and dont recall his uncle but tells him heston went to las vagas

bad guy i mean uncle take sthe photo they took at the carvnial gores off to avenge his brother liek in kick boxer with jean claude

so blondce sings again and answers the phone but its the wife saying the brother is after him and knows where he is

yeah but las vegas isn't just 1 building, wont it take a while to find him?

well i guess he got lucjky and his ring hand puits a bet on a tabler hgeston is at and wins

blonde warns hium and heston has 5700$ AND WINS so hes got 11400$ attack points

hes gonna use the money for helping the wife and blonde tells him or tries to anyway that the guy is after him

blonde is given the money to give to something and she wants to leave to go elsewhere

heston drives off and is followed and goes to a hotel and hides in the dark with see through curtains coving the windows

heas ready with his gun but a guy is in the closet and the phone rings and he goes back in ther closet

its the wife and the brother sneasks out andf grabs the gun hand and fights the heston as the phone talks saying whats going oion?!

despite his hime as a roman slave, hes not strong enough to beat this guy andf is being strangled but the cops come in and cap brother as he reaches for a gun

he falls out the window, but he's on, he just needs somer rest, theres a hospitasl planet nearby

the cops used him as a decoy and heston gores to the airport and meets blonde who sez he otta be with the wife

heston is over his issues and wants to marryn and b0ne the blonde and they go off instead of the planer to breed

the end

that wwas pretty good

nice lighting and camera work

good acting and drama

theres not much action but it keeps your interest

its well made and has a good feel that holds up

I never saw the 90s one but I'm glad I did this one

This is kind of a horror film like I Know What You Did Last Summer where these guys are taken out 1 by 1 as revenge for a guy they iced

For Datk City 2 I want the brother to have survived the shots and the fall (like in Halloween 1 and 2) and he's recoveering from his wounds. Also he has a trial but we get a long raMBLING MOSTLY FLASHBACK OF HIS LIFE STORY and f u caps lock, suck my 7 inch b0ner! where was I? Oh yeah: the film is him telling how he gradually wenty nuts from crazy cr-p happening to him over ghis life and hinm vowing to right the wrongs done to him. Also its a 16 biut Snes, Sega Genesis, TG16 Atari Jaguar and GBA game where you play through the brother 's flashgbacks and take out fguys who wronged him.

The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? Review

 Note: I sp[ell bad, but not aads bad as animation has devolved since thius film was made

The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love?

This is my revcireew on The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? from the distabnt future year of 1984 (20 years begfotre Robotech Return To Macross)

Its a condensed version of the shgow that is best known as Season 1 of Robotech

There were issues between the Japanese companies over who owned Macross so Harmony Gold whoi made Robotech had to stop any Macross things for legal issues

But out of f-=king nowhere; The Japanese companiesresolved their sh=-t in the 20s and agreed to let Macross happen outside Japan and Bootlegs

Soi this was dirrected by Shoji Kawamori who did mostly Macroiss things, and Noboru Ishiguro who did the 86 Robotech Movie/Megazone 23 and Locke the Superman

In the canon of Macross, this is actrually an In Universe Movie Retelling of the events of the war, kinda like how in Battletech, the 90s Saban Cartoon is Canonically a show in the BattleTech Universe

It stars Mika Moi from Sailor Moon, Wedding Peach and Angel Cop, Akira Kamiya from Hokuto No Ken and DBZ, Eiji Kanie from Hokuto No Ken, Hiromi Tsuru from DBGT aand Violence Jack, Hirotaka Suzuoki from Saint Seiya and Urotsukidoji, Run Sasaki from Sailor Moon, Ryusuke Obayashi from Jungle De Ikou, Sanae Miyuki from Transsformers Super God Masterforce, Sho Hayami from New Cutey Honey, Devilman and Voltage Fighter Gowcaizer, Ikuya Sawaki from Japanese 80s Transfprmers, Baoh, Saint Seiya and Sakuigake!! Otokojuku, Kenyu Horiuchi from Violence Jack and The R=pe Man, Nobuo Tobita rom G Gundam and Beyyblade Burst(More like,m BUTT BURST!!), Shigeru Nakahara from Gundam Wing and DBGT, Tomomichi Nishimura from Bleach, 80s Transformers and Genocyber, Yoshio Kawai from G Gundam and SentaI, and a buncha others in stuff I never saw

I saw thgis b4 and liked it and this got good reception

Its ALL animated by hand drawn work, frame by frame and looks epic

Nowadays animatyion is done on computer and look like a55!

So after the Toko Logo we get te Zentraedi looking At stuff from the humans and talking of how their troops who got near the humans sdtopped fighting

then we see the SDF1 appearing in the blacmness of spsace and title

its got amazing detailed art and animation and has true effort put into it

So this pilot goes off in a space fighter on recon and in the space ship is a city with robots abnd cxars in it 

btw this is widescreen but it hS GREAT COLOR

so this singer lynn minmei is singing an early 80s song in a concert and its her 1st

5 months ago the ship left the earty but shes trying to help by giving them fuin, kinda lie Stan Lee making comics insatead of a bummer novel like east of eden, aka caiin and abel gx

so minmei sings an 80s song with holograms but the ship gives a warning that the ship is gonna transform and theyt have 3 mins toio get to a shelter

hikaru is the leader of skull squad andis in a battle with the zentraedi with missiles taking out troops

hikaru is uneasy and their sips can transform too robot mode

max is the ace of the team and he kicks a55, so hikaru  and his homeboy ropy take on the foe

a ship has space folded in the area and wait, its several, annd the ship is gonnas nuke the areA

HIKARU defends the bridge of trhe sdf1 but gets b--ched at by misa for not being in the battle or w/e

HokAru goes after the enemies that got in the ship against misas orders and as the enemies who got in are shocked to see males and females together in the same place

a maN AND A wo man? is this protocunture?!

So Minmei and her manager/cousin/bf is split from her as a wall comes up between em  as the ship transforms

A Zentraedi trys to grab Minmei but Hikaru takes it out and the artificial gravity gets damaged so she fallsbut Hikaru saves her after an epic and well animated scene

he winds up caught in the ships inner area and it closes off and the ship fires its main cannon and takes out ther enemy ship

In the ship wall he fuinds he saved the poip star minmei and he's a fan of hers and she signs a thing for bim

they are sealed in and can't commumicate with the outside as his radio is f'd and the wall  is hyper carbon

minmei is glad she has some time off and the ship takes off from the moon titan;s orbit so grabity goes and hikaru accidentally grabs her left b00b like its a go nagai anime

he teaches her how toi fly in 0 g like with gohan and pans mom and she shows off her shiny dress

they go through and find food and a minemi doll and a coke machine and we getta montage to minmeis soing of them doung things like minmei taking a shower and them living together but not in sin

if go nagai or the berserk guy did this they'df be b0ning

meanwhile the zentraerdi see males and femalkes live in the same area and are diustrubed as their ancent rules say "don't f with small people"

also trhe zentrasdie find a minmei doll playing her love song and are soi unused to anything romantic or non warrior related, they freak lut

so on the ship the skiull squad wonder if hikaru is dead and you i mean roy listens to misa and his gf claudia talking about work and boys or something

misa remembers her bf from years ago when she was ike 12 or something and in the wallsl; mimnmehi tlels how she works hard cuz her fam told her to, then left home to come here and wonders if her  rents are ok as they are on earth

theres no word from earth as the official story is theres radio jamming but in reality; it got gang nuked

hiklaru asks if shes with her co star but she sez its just made up by publishers and the love scene was not real

so the gocv and the media tell lies? does the corporations kniow?!

she shows how good an asctor she is and does a lovey romance thiung talk and smooches him

btw; the wearth wrecked and people in space facing aliens by titan?

is this wherte Don Bluth got Titan AE?

so as they smooch, the wall opens and the paparazzi sees aema dn get photos

imagine if toshiuo maeda wrote this and they were 0 g b0ning?

Hikaru gets his a55 busted by Misa for insubbordination and if this were made by an H animne artist, she'd make him do SM

Hikarus Homies think he's b0ning minmei and go all 80s guy on him but he denies it

as they think a guy being in the same place with someone for 3 days means they must have been b0ning

like how yaoi fangirls pair F--KING EVERYONE up!

Roy and Ed in fma? Huck and Jim in Huckleberry Fuinn? Jack and Yusei and STardssucty DRagon in Yugioh 5Ds?

if anyone has anything in common; these nuts pair em up!

How about as Goku's rival floved his son and turned good, why not continue it and have Pan fall in love with GArlic Jr?!

so the people gossip about minmei abnnd hikaru and minmei dont like it

in a bar hokarui brings the charts for woprk to roy with his gf and misa and roydriinks and gives misa advice on being a woman and hgokaru mAN advise

thewm smooches his openmly black gf and is either making out or b0ning her as its offfscreen

nowadays they'ds call Roy "Toxic" and normal people would say in a devolved voice "TOXXXXXX ICCCCCCCC! TYOXXXXXXXX! IIIIIIIIIIIIC!" TO MOCK THEM

So Hokaru gets a call saying theres a sick family guy and he goos oof but really goes tio meet minmei in disguise

Thet go on a date night to hang out in town at night and 1 part is hologram outfits and thet are evbentuallly wearing wedding clothes

they almost go to a motel to b0nbe but dont

if this was tenjho tenge manga, they would

later they are looking at the space sky and see the saturn planet, so rick i mean hikaru sneaks out with her on an unreggulasted flight in his mech and he goes throuigh its ring and makes a rainbow ring from the dust

meanwhile, the zentraedi arte sent by their coimmander to catch some humans  and the females might try to get em 1st

meanwhile; hikaru is  going through saturns atmosphere  as a minmei siong plays in montage and it sounds kinda 70s/60s

but then minmeis bro/manager/cousin/bf comes on the skype and so does misa to say "come back! this is bad for ytour careers!"

hoikaru is gonna go back for his punishment, which in starshop trioopers is a whipping, but ebnemy mechs attack and hikaru is in a traiuning plane

hikARU HAS NO WQEAPONSD SO rOY COMES IN DRUNK AS A SKUNK  and fires missiles to tajke out enemy mecvhjs

3 mechs ggrabv hikarus jet and bruing him iun to their base but Roy coimes in and finds himself at gunpoint by a buncha zentraedi

he makes like Sheena in Contra Hard Corps and surrenders and Roy, Misa, Minmei, her bro, and Hokaru are caught and put in a glass gar

A big Zentraedi pulls out a magnifying glass and uses focused light to burn a light beam through minmeios bros torso as he screams and tries to esacape, but catches fire annd pops like corn!

jk really they are asked why men and women coexist anmd why they are small

misa sez thety are born small and the zentraedi dont now about breeding as they are geneytically enmgeneered and grown in labs

Roy sez males and females cooperate to make new life and the zenttraedi dont now why men and women dont fight

roy sahows them whaty a hig is bu hugging minmei and ;like grade school boys;l they find it gross

roy mentions kissing and they take minmei histage to make thenm kiss

minmeis bro volunteers and smooches minmei and its not consensual like luke and leia in star wars or the platinic twins in voltage fighter gowcaizer

so minewi and her bropther and taken away and the 3  militaruy guts are lead elsewhere and the zentraedi are shot iup by enemy females and take the trio

wait, they get away and get to their jets but a buncha enemies come for em

hikaru goes like drahgon ball with pulling off bulmas top to get roshi to nosebleed on the invisible guy, or mazinkaiser with koji shjowqing sayaka's nips to stun the guards, and snmooches misa to shock the zenttraedi and buy time for tthem to get in the mechs

then zentraedi chicks co,me in and wadte the sioldiers, obnly for a battle to brwak ouit

miriyA IS THE GEMALE ACE AND WASTES THEM EASY and stomps 1's head in a bloodspray they would never do today cuz anime is candyt a55 now

roy comes out ann his mechs head is busted but hikaru draws his attention sdo roy takes out his mech

roy gets shot up and the zentraedi comes out of his busted mech and beats in the mech to morrtallly wound roy, but roy uses his gun to take out the zewntraedi and let hikaru and misa go after minmei

Hikarui gets to minmei but the sjjhip starts to space fold out, but an enemy female attack blows open the ship andand hikarus mech is sucked out as it folds off to another plasce

hikaru winds up on a desert planey with just misa and hikaru had given up after roy got it and minmei'ss gone

mina i mean misa takees coimntro, but is bad aat flying and they land in the sand

then they see it: a  ruined battleship!

This is earth!

at least they didn't have to deal with chimpeople and get lobotomized like with charlton heston

so the zentraedi have minmei and her brother and took them to their base and minmei sings as its all she can do

oh she sings of cinderella and the battleship is yhe aircraft carrier that was an arm on the SDF1 in the sdhow

Hikaru and Misa collect canned food from the ship and the zentraedio call the suinging protroculture that is creative activitry without fighting

but their creators told them to never deal with culture of protoculture as its  powerfuil and can unite males and females

so all the head zentraedi has left of the original culture that made them is a metal plaquiue that they want mimnmei to tell em of

imagine if this was done by masami ohbari and they made minmei show them how to breed with her brother?

What if in Robotech Season 2 when the Robotech Masters captured the 15th Squadron they force em to show them how breeding works as the Masters are all clones? Blonde curvy Dana has to breed with shy black guy Bowie and White Ladies man Sean. Dana: Who knew Bowie has a footlong! and Sean... No wonder he couldn't keep a gf. Tinky Winky!!

So misa and hikari go artound eearth and find no survivors and misa breaks down and being one of the last people on the planet like with Noah and his kids and their wifes

later in a tenty in ther rain, misa has given up as the earth is empty like in dbz after buu and she's getting sick and hikaru treats her

misa sez roy told her his fam is in h e double soviet england and she thought she'd be a brave soldier but now is bummed out

she realizes the cloth on her head is his minmeu autograph and she sees the error of her ways and eats

so later its day and trhey fluy over the sea and find this building in the sea likethe tower of babel in metropolis and its an alien space craft made for those human saized

its got a foild system commuinication and misa triss it but it dont work

then a ligh show a hologram anbd miusa understands it a buit and its a space emmigratiopn vessel central computer

she talks to it and it mentions genetic masnipulation and man aND WO MAN ZENTRAREDi images and human images

then turns off and uses its energy to raise the buolding

then we learn long ago was a glactic civilization (or confederacy?) called protoculture but they learned how to breed wiuth only 1 gender and split men from woman and war happened

So they made giant soldiers just to fight but things went too far and they started over with men/weomen together by going to Earth to make Human Amncestors

But 20 000 years ago the giants fighting reached this solar sysatem so the Protoculture sank the city to hide it, but now its up as the computer mistook the zentraedi attack as the protocultrure return

Btw: I watch nba lot of Bible Shows and Ancient Aliens, so this kinda checks out

In  Robotech II The Senmtinils: The Zentraedi were genetically engineered Giants made by the Masters to dig for Magnetic Monopole Ore on this giant planet

and there's legends of the Anunakki being Giants that made people to dig for Gold on Earth from Ancient Aliens.

Also. in 1 ep of Robotech: The Earth is gang attacked by Alien ships that wipe out much of the life on Earth, but later it grows back, similar to Noah's Flood.

In Robotech II The Sentinels: The Masters leave the planet to find the Protoculture Matrix and leave the old and sick behind on their home world, like when the Israelites were taken to Babylon and those left behind were old and not fit for battle.

So misqa finds a metal thing thar say Do You Rewmember somwething but its more complex than the zentraedi words she can somwehow read

Misa finds a sink and does dishes in sea water and hikaru looksa around and finmds nothing but busted machines

misa puts plates out fior dinner to loving musdic and its really nicre as thet pretebnd to have dinnwr

misa misses her droogsa and hikaru comforts her and they kiss to 80s heart music orchestral

in the real version thety b0ned

oh f, the next scene is misa zipping up her cxoat, thety DID b0ne!

so later the SDF1 is there as misAs message reacghed em and they tell the captain what they found on earth

also trhey tell roys gf he was brave and shes gglad

on the ship minme songs and videos playy and hikaru thinks on how its only been a 1 month since he took minmei ou but it feels like longer

also mstr of minmeis songs are fiull of englishg words

but the female aliens come and want the culkture i the protoculture ruins

hikaru and friends go out to fight em and his wingman gets taken out easy

max fight milia and its an epic battle over the cuity and into an enemy ship witgh a cxlose xombat fight that wiinds up in the dark

tthe female ship fires a blast and takes out the cannons on the SDF1 and things look f;';d

but then minmeis singing plays and the females stop fighting

max sees milia out of her armor and bnoth are too busted up to fight but max finds her hot as i guerss hes into giantress

the male zentraedi show  up and are playing minmeis song so tyhe females warp away with max on their ship

they want peace talks with the earth people and agree to a truce

the captauiin of the sdf 1 tells of thge protoculture abnd how huymans and zentraedi were both the product of ancient aliens genetic cr-p anbd the zentraedi can shrink ti human dsize with tech

Minmei taught the zentraedi more of her culture and minmei is on the sdf 1 and sings a song form the proityoculture plate with new words as tbney can't read the original language to make peace with the women

wait, they are still wrtitying the words and misa and hgikaru go out to greet minmei and minmei sheds a tear and runs to him with a hug

but thuis caiuses issues with misa and minbmei didnt knwo the month she spent with misa i i mean he spent

later misa reads the words on this plate they found on the ship and its the words to the song from the zentraeri plate

sher translates it but at himarus place; minmei comes onto hikaru ands sez she loves him 

misa comes to hikarus place and finds minmei huggeing him from behind, which isn't b0ning unless she has a ding s0ng

she gives them the words to tyhe song but is bummed thinking hikaru likes minmei more, but when hikaru sez its a misunderstanding, minmei runbs out

misa sez to go after her but hikaru sez when he saw minmei after returning he realized he wants misa

i mean i like misa more, but minmeis a bimbo and those are good

so they hug but the enemy attacks and hukaru goes to bring the words to minmei but shes not know where she is

the females are attacking and this huge enemy base space folds in so without minmei, they gotta fight

the enemy ships all blast the earth and it takes out the protoculture island as the sdf1 ghoes to space

hikaru runs around and fiunds minmei and wantrs her to sing the song but she dont wanna as its from misa

the head zentraedi fires his death ray and wipes out many of his fleet to take out the head female ship

minmei has given uip and sez if they are gonna bite it, they might as well stay here

hikaru sez to fight fort the other people on the ship and minmei dont care about them so hikaru slaps her and sez roy and the fat guy got it b4 doing theirt best ideas

the batttle goes on and minmei finallyt gets it and sez sorry and is cheerful after being slapped and agrees to sing\

wqe then get her singing this 80s song, as i guess ancient protoculture is into 80s music

tyhe aliens stop to listen to it and 1 says he fdfeel;s like he heard it long ago

his homie sez itys something priogrtammeed in their genes and the sdf 1 is taking hits, inclusding 1 guys head coming off

the main 2 zentraedi, who are totally not r2d2 and c3po, tyeram with the sdf1 and turn on their leader with their troops to protect the protoculture

also max was enbiggened and now drives an alisen mech

so the sdf1 plows through miles of metal and rock and gets to the leaders chamber\

hikaruy flies in on his mechna nd blasts him in the face a bunch and the enemy base ship starts spazzing out and blows

btw the sdf1 could totally beat the death star from star wars

so the battle is over and we get that 80s violin msuic

the zentraedi say theres 1000 fleets across the galaxy each withh a master ship like the one they just did

but as minmeis song solved this, maybe it will soove those

misa sez the song was just a popular song from thousands of years agothen minmei starts counting up to 4 and tapping her foot and then we get creditys to 80s music

the end

that was quite good

it had heart asnd life and feels

most movies todasy look like a55 but this was great

plus star trek beyond stone tthe idea of "use past music to f with the enemy fleet"

the story is good, the music is wobderful and the animation is epic

a true classic and can only be done in the 80s when people cared about quaoity

now its all done on computers and is without life or soul

the acting waS GREAT as in Japan they actually try and go all out for voice work

Plus the story is like something outta Ancient Aliens on The History Channel

For The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? 2 I want them tro make contaCT WITH a group arriving clsaiiming to be the Protoculture but it says it wants them to return to their past wars and that men/women were a mistake, wait, it really wants them to fuse men anbnd woimen together into a milti limbed hermaphrodite creature, but its revealed its actually a space daemon who goes around ruining planets by destroying the people with lies, and the unfused have to fight them. also its a 32//64 bit flying and shooting game on playstation 1, sega saturn, nb64 and 3ds where you play as eith a human or zentraedi ands fight the space enemy

Colt 45 Review

 Note: I spell like President 45!

Colt 45

This is my revirew for Colt 45 from 1950(60 years before the 1st Robotech War)

its directed by Edwin L. Marin who did Abilene Town and nothing else i ever saw

it stars randoolf scott, Ruth Roman from The Baby, Zachary Scott froim Thr Southerner and Mildred P{ierce, Lloyd Bridges from Jane Austen's Mafia!, Alan Hale 1 from The Adventures of Robin Hood, Ian MacDonald from Apache, Chief Thundercloud and Walter Coy from The Searchers, abnd some WW1 born homies I never heard of

it inspired the series colt 45 that i never saw and i never saw this b4 but my dad likes westerns and i wanted to review something

So it starttts after titakle and crediys, waiut wtf, zachgary scott? i thought it was randolf!

so we get text sating a gun is a tool and can be used for good or bad

thena guy is doing a sales pitch for the colt repeating pistol that helped America beat Soviert Mexico

this seller is a guy who was saved by his firearm as his group was ambushed

a guy in jail sez he wants one to break out as a colt is 6 shots instead of 1

plus you can do russian roulette

so sherrif lets out jailguy to send him out ANDS JAIL GUY GETS A GUN AND another gun and shoots his way out after capping sherrif

the people thing i mean think the seller was in on it with jailo so thesy lock him up

so using this experimental new weapoin, the jailo goes around wasting and staeling things and guys

why not just have a sniper by town and when he fies, they j fk him?

so new sherruf lets out seller as the judfge made him and has poster s on seller thinking hes part of it

the jeailo is wanted for 5000$ and seller weants to hunt down the him and get his guns back

so after a montage the seller hears hunshots and finds an intdian guy who some guys attcked

jailo was there and has his crew going around dressed as indians toi cover their acxtys and planted a real one to take the heat

kinda like the Boston Tea Party

the indian tells main guy seller that the indians coming are actually white like with trudeau and blaming his kind for their actions

mean guy sends indian on main guys horse back to warn his guys and main guy hides as a coach goers by

he jumpos on and tells em to speed through and gets in the coach weith a chick in thertes hes prtobably gonna fall in lovew wioth

jailo sez his wife is on board the coach and sends the attck and main guy seller defends them with firearms

she trys to stop him from capping jailo and the driver gets hit so eventually the coach gets off too far and the bad guys let it go

seller clibs out on a moving coach and stops the horses with gerabbing the reins

a horse golloes i mean follows and main guy wants to turn in the chick as shes in on the bad guys thing and she escxapes on the following horse

so bad guy goes to his base where he has a guy hostage there and his wife is something and this guy played by lloyd bridges dont like workng for bad guy and was a miner

wait, hes part of it and his woman dont know as he dont ewwant her to and thinks he's the hoisotage

chick comes by and lloyd hides ans she sez she dont kknow what the main guy was about

he smooches her with out consent and she dont like it cuz hes gross and probably had aids and she lets her see lloyd

she wants to get help but he sez if she tried then he'd get bcapped

So mnain guy gets the cart coach in to town and gets the driver help and the people worry about the indians

main guy ssez its the wanted guy who had i mean has a pair of colt 45s and the townies dont wanna mess with him

main guy offers to be a deputy to this sherrif who i think is alan hale 1 and is accepted

at base, bad guy wants to know who the guy on the coach was with the 45s and sherrif comes by and sez its the guy who had the guns that is on the coach and wants em back

sherrif wants ro be in charge and not the soldfier if hes gonnas give bad guy the colt seller and beats down the bad guy and gets his guns

but lloyd throws a chair at him and they beat him down, before bad guy pistol whips him

sherrif sez seller is his deptuyry and bad guy sends him to get bad guy i mean main guy , they punches him on the way out

also the minion tyrying to overtake the main bad guy and geting his a55 kicked was done in transformers with megatron and starscream

so later seller is out at night and indiann comes by and likes him for hel;ling him and brings backj his horse

also hes got his crew with him and wants to avenge his3 indians who were iced by whites, so hes gonna murder 3 whites

thatsn not fair, the 3 he killes were innocent

2 wrtongs dont make a right

so main guy tlaks him into not doing that and inidan sez he has a few days

sherrif comes back andmain guy asks about the couple in the mine and the mrs was on the coach

sherrif dont wanna let main guy guo there wait he dont wanna go there and thennext day he sends main guy there

so bad guy sez an extra clip for the guy who naiuls main guy, which i'm not sure how they'd tell whos bullets was the kill shot

they attack but the indians come out and scare off bad guys and take out 1 of em

they catch a few guys and the indian wants to use his ways to make em talk, which i assume means b0ning it outta em, but main guy brings em back to town

lloyd comes by sherrifs place to talk and main guybrings the caught guys in and the people are glad someones cleaning up crime

the toen wants to string em up but main guy wants a fair trial as hes an american and everyone is innocent until proven guilty

the caught guys arte locked up and sherrif is uneasy

so lloyd comes back to base and chick sees and lloyd ewarns the gang their men are gonna get lynched

shes wearing pants? in the 12800s i measn 1800s!?

so she listens in on lloyd telling how he wants to be in this thing and finds out he's working with the bad guys

she turns on him and her tries to get her to join him and she leaves his a55

the lloyd harold catches her and puts her in this shed, like the cabin in the birth of a nation

sher gets him to guive her a matches as its the dark in there and cyberdarknewss drtagon in attack mode equipped with 5 got drtagon

the bads leave and she usaes gunpowder on the door to macguyver a door blowing thing under sanfbags

she gets out and rides off and then theres a trial but the bad guy comes in and caps the witnesses

he sezinmean bad guy sez main guy is the real bad guy and they take his guns and are gonna sting up main guy

chick comes by but loyd caps ghher and main guy in the chaos control punches his way out, gets on a horses a55, and gets her as he rides out

oh and i think the indians were in on it

they town is gonna atttack the indians and lloyd is bummed he had to cap his woman

in the camp the indians treat the chicks bullet hole and main guy talks witrh her about how bad guy wantrs to take over the town and she thought her husband was their captive but is really a partner

she wants bad guy to be iced and main guy wants to end his reign andf take back his guns

the indians tell trhem to stay quiet as the townsmen are in here and main guy sez shewrrif is in on the thing

the head indian sez for them to go and sherrif sez hes gonna send a group to level the town

but the constitution protects agains gov search and seizure

they need a warrent to come in and check or the ecidence, and all evidence from it, is inadmissable

yes i watch law and order

so bad guy wants to wait for the guuy goods to returen and gets a 10% fee fpor security from gold shipments

he wants to rule the town and goes tothe bar with sherriof anfhas some booze

he wakes up in berd with thev sherriof and thinks "noooooooooooo! Not again!!!!"

jk really he talks with lloyd about howe he had to cap his woman and llouyd is glad he gets to live high with bad guy

so the indfiands dance and are gonna attack the town

they find lloyd fuill of bullet holers  from being shot in the back a lot

chicxk wants to keep mainguy from going and throws dirt in his face, then beats him out witj a gun and rides off

btew this is fiullscreen and colored

so he wakes up and has 1 gun left and goes off but the indians see and follow

the sherrif has a rope put across the road and knocks out and catches main guy and talkes him away

the ibndians come and arroew the sherrif and bads and frees main guy

as its 1 hour til dawn and thats when the time b4 the attack is up, indian leader helps main guy

shewrruif isnbt dead and gets upas i guess he had an extrta life and chick is caught by the bads

therry dont kill her now as they are dumbsa55es and instead bad guy talks with her to offer her a chance to be his woman

she dont consenthe almost b0nes her but dont cuz its a 50s moves and he sez I Can Wait

so te main guy and his indians come to town but snewak around like ninja and shewrrifd gets there desp[ite leaving after the ndias ands being arrowed

chick tells bad guy that main guy is after him to f with him and thre bad guys men walk around and are caught by the indiansand knocked out

seller catches a guy but is stabbed and the indians bow and arroe the other guys

1 indian arrows a thing through the bad guys window so basf guy breaks the lights and shoots tjhrough the dooe

it was 1 of his guys on ther other side and her brings out chick as a hostage

the indiasns make sounds to draW HIS FIRE AND HIDE AND HE USES UP HIS BULLETS

HE RUINS INSIFE and chick and indians tell the town that bad guy leads the 45 gang and main guy haS TOI FACE BAd guy

he throws down his guys and grapples but gets thrumbs in his knife hole

bad guy and him grab a gun and 1 fires and then bad guy walks oyut, bites it, and main guy comeds out and hugs chickas he crosses his guns behind his backi mean hers

the end

thaT WAS PRETTY GOOD

nice stoery, good twists, nice way of him getting out of a pinch

good action aNDV STYLE and effects

its we;ll made and tells a nice weestern story

if it were made today it would make ALL guns look bad

which is like making ALLv cars look bad cuz a few ghuys drive bad\

even though cars kill more than guns

For Colt 45 2 I want it to be in the 20s and a new car is made but a criminal has taken it and is going around running people over, and the guy who sells the car has to catch him, also its a 32/64 bit racing game like Carmeggodon on playstartion 1, sega satuirn and n64 but you play as either the bad guy running people over or the good guy trying to stop him by hammering your car into his. 

Bluebeard Review

 Note;‬ I spell el piuratey matey, arrrrge!

Bluebeard

This is my revierw on Bluebeard from 1944 (100 years before the 3rd Robotech War withere the Invid attacked)

Its directed by Edgar G Ulmer who did The Black Cat in 34, The Man From Planet X in 51 and Hannibal in 59

Its written by Charles Perrault in the 1600sd who made these f;d up dark storys that were also dome by the brothers grimm and often have cannibalism

I nervver saw this but in the 00s I took a Fantasy and Fairy Tales class in College as I needed an elective and already took Japanese Cuylture, and it was either this or Vampires in our culture, and: Twiligfht! No!

It stars John Carridine, Jean Parker froom Beyond Tomorrow, Nils Asther from Laugh Clown Laugh and Our Dancing Daughters, Ludwig Stossel from The Testament Of Dr Mabuse, Teala Loring (like teela in He Man?) from Double Indemnity, Henry Kolker from the 30s Romeo and Julietye, Iris Adrian from Mighty Joe Young in the 40s, Harry Cording from the 300s blacvk cat/treasure uisland/count of monte cristo/greak expectations/captain blood/robin hood/huncxhback of notre dame, Frank Darien fromn The grApes of Wrath, George Irving from Sergeant York, Island of Losr Souls and Wings, Ethelreda Leopold from My Man Godfrey/The Wizard of Oz/The Great Dictator/Myra Breckinridge/Young Frankenstein and Married... with Children, and a buncxha 19800s dudes i never saw

I never saw tghis but hear it did we;ll in reviews

After title and credits, which has John Carter doing sound, as I guess he's back from mars, these napoleon hat looking dides find a womANS BODY IN THE RIVBER

THEY PUT UP A POSTER ASKING FOR HELP IN FINDING THUIS BLUEBEARD ABND f u caps lock you c=--ck sucker

a i mean many girls are bashed by their rents for bewing out with the blue beard out at night in case the blue beard got em

you know, if they had a gun or a switchblade or a hammer or nunchaku, they could dewfendd themselves

so these bimbos go out together and run intio a guy callled trhe puppeteer who calls himself gaston like that disdney movie

he seems a bit creepy and sez his puppet shopws aint dooing well with the blue beard roaming around and the chix say they'll come to his show

then its this puppet show that might creep people out today  and looks a bit rankin bass and theres a big a55 crowd

pupper man does trhe voices and singing and its like a 40s disney movie and the girl puppet iced hher kid

wait; the other puppets are doner by a greasy guy and a chick

d hero puppet guy looks at thr crowd and then has his puppet come out looking like dracula and they sing

the puppets sing and the background opens andf therws angels and fire

wtf is this?! i dont get it! is she dead? did she go to hg e double england?

pupper man goes downn and collects money and chats with the chix from b4 about how he made the puppets

he invites 1 girl back to show her his puppet costuimes (noooooooooooo!) aND SEZ 1 ppast work got iced

theres a chick watching them and he brings her off totalk without other watcbing

she asks f she can make a puppet of her and he compliments her looks and is gonna

maimn chicks friends call for her and she goes back after saying she''d make a costume

greasy guy sez a girl is looking for hijm abnd he sez to dsay hes looking for her and gives him some money

he goos hoome and theres a girl there who was spying on them and is jealous of him talking to that girl

i assume sges the killer and wanted to either frame him or take out those who ruval her

shes gay for him and kinda nuts, well, sger ISn frencxh! They can be kinda mental!

so she says somethuiing and it fades to her uncxoncious and he carrrys her like in the cabiunet of dr caligari and dumps her in the river

he sure took a dump! a jean claude van dump! cuz its french!

the cops find her and the pupper mastet sees this cop head or something abnout the iced chick and he sez she was out in the am and her bed wasnt used

cop calls for the next lead and pupper mastyer meets greasy guy who te tells they will do faust again when thery have a ew female lead

so puppet master wants to make a new puppet show and wants the main chick to just make him new costumes for his puppewts

he sendfs greasy guy to get main chick and keep her friernds out and he goes there and invites her and she comes

at puppeto's place he brings ger aNDF sez he hopes pupper makes a doll of him and he shows i mean pupprty shows her the designs and sez he wants to put more time in his puppets anfd stop painting

she finds a cloth from the chick he iced and its torn but shefixes it and wonders whgat the deal is

he cant tells her andsezshe aasks too many questyions and he has sh-t to hide

later pippopinvites a guy in who sez the cops found the latest body andtries to get him to stop icing people

also puppet toad sells this guy puppets and i mean paintings and this guy sold the latest one to some high class homie i cant recall, like a duke or prince or sopme cr-p

so puppeto woeries the chick in the painting will be recognized  as its 1 of his vuictiums and the high class guy exhibits his paintings

later a guy comes by the exhibit and sez the chick in there was one of blue beardsz victims and i think this guy is the cop or something and wants the higfh class guy to help

he tells cop he got it from an art dealer and cop knows the dealer and high class sez the frenchie name al bear was the painter

cip then chex dealer and dealer sez he dont recall with how much art he deals and dont recall the painting or painter and cop sez he was told the painter wouyld be famous

dealeroffers cop a painting and deaker recalls the guy who sold it and said it was from a guy who said it was in the fam a  long time

btw this is b/w aND IN WIDESCVREEN

so later main chick meets a female homie whos behind one of those folding things people got changed behind and shes going to meet a guy

main chick sez girl friend is never home abnymore and she replies to not intergere in her issues

i assume shes out b0ning bguys

later puppetr master comes over and girl friend wants to meet him but shes getting dressed in castlevania era clothes as they didnm't do tank tops and miniskirts back then

puppot wants to see if the clothes for puppets are done and they aint so he goes

later main chick shows her female friend who is her sister to the head cop at a meeting and they talk about bluebeard

cop tells about the painting and he shows her it in a court room or something in a meeting with a buncha guys

the judge asks if she knows of the painter and she dont and the wait, she aks i mewan he asks another girl 1st

they are asking various chicks about ther painting and this 30s blonde is called up and the court guy implies she's a wh0re and jokes of her as the court laughs

oh they are asking models in case they recognized the art style or artist

so later they try i mean i think the high class guy asks ther art dealer to get a cerrtain art style, wait, its a worker of the high class guy and the hgih class guy is the duke

so duke jr compliments the al bear and wants him to paint this chick who claims to be his daughter butn dealer dont want to help

until he's offered 75 000 franks and dealer wants 160 000 franks and its agreeded he'd try to help but if its a guy who uses a fake name then he needs to stay private

i think its the sister who fakes being the duke jr duaghter

later dealer wants puppet master pay i eman to paint and if not he;d not let him live there

puppet master dont wanna do it but is offered 25 000 to 30 000 franks to do it and he dont want as hes done painting and thinks its too risky

dealer sez she's getting married and going to America but puppet master thinks its a trap, but agrees to do it in traders studio

meanwhile the cop plans for it and is gonna have men at every exit and a signal in the window

later dealer and sister are at this place with duke jr and sayds there is no visitors and dealer brings sister to see puppet master

pupper master is behind curetains and uses mirrors to see her, which is filmed in a cool way

dealer gets paid by duke jr and sister asks about other pictures done by pupper mapsey

duke jr gives i mean gets a match from dealer for his smokes to send him to h e double soviet franch and is shown other paintings by dealer

sister asks puppet master to give her a back ground oin her painting like the dukes picture aND AFTER having issues with her poses, puppet master goes to fix her posing

dealer leaves duke jr and listens in on them as puppet master is recognized by sister as the puppeteer and she dumba55ly blowes her cover sayuing "ur bloo deard!"

he takes off his neck thing and wraps it on her neck and the rest happens offscreen

the duke jr gives trhe signal by moving a flame in the window but is clubbed from behind with the candlestick by trhe dealer

puppero tries to sneak out as dealer tries to flee with ther money but pupppet mastyer catches him and asks how many others he told he painted it

dealer says no one and puppet master sees dealer was gonna sneak out to let him take the blame

the door rings and they see its the cops and puppetop fights dealer for a while

the coips come in and break in da door but by the tome trhey break the other door they see dealer dead on the floor and puppetmastwer has escaped in a hidden passage

he runms through the dark area as cops hunt and the cops in the place tend to the victims

duke jr comes to but priobably is gonna bite it from brain dammage and the cops find the sister iced

they have a servive for her and head cop tells main chick they only have 1 clue; the neck thing that she recognizes as the one she fixed

cop goes and puppet man comes in and she asks what happened to his neck thjing as its got no stitches

he sez its a new one ands she wonders what happenewd with the 1st one

so later puppet master in attack mode uses his effect to pay 2000 life poiunts to summon 2 fiends from the graveyand i mean is in his home and main chick comes to see him

she asks to see the cloth thing she mended fopr him and he sez she trhew it away and he sez he was in the whole while and dont paint anymore when she asks

he sez hes gay for her and tells her he dont wanna paint her as he nearly starved as an art stufdent and wanted to do something epic

he made cr-ppy art but one day found a collapsed girl and cared for her but found by painting her there was something special about her that reminded hi of this maid of something

the painting sold well and she got better and left and one day trader gave him a letter from the acadenmy saying his painting of the sick girl would have in the loov and won an award

he wanted to share his joy with her but couldn't find her , but then did and found she was a 5kank and a low brow dink

she couldnt i eman he couldnt take it and snapped and stranged her

now each time he painted, he painted like it was her and turned to puppeting as he can take out his anger on them

and cuz trader knew his secret, he had to paint for him to sell em, but as each girl he painted was done like the 5kanbk, he had to ice her

wow this is like big bang theroy svu

but now he found her and sees her as a better version of the 5kank and he can use her to turn good

so now he can;'t paint her as it might make him ice her

she asks why her sister and he sez he didn't wanna but did it as a one last time to be free

but he didn't know it was her sister and he thought the chick he iced was gonna cause issues and he couldnt take it

he sez anything thast gets in the way of happiness must be ended and she wants to go to the cops

btw the whole "I iced people but now dont gotta as i found what I need but am probably gonna get wacked as then movie ends" was done in Murders in the Rue Morgue in the 30s

he stops her and sez he wopuldnt let her turn on him anfd hugs her bnut them strangles her

so the cops come in and they have musklets but dont fire as they are candy a55 frenchies

actually 1 fires but cuz he's a frecnhie he s-clked at it

he esacapes\ to the roof and and fights in the darknesds so we dont really see anything

head cop tells chick, who is alive, that he followed her thinking she found something and the puppeter is on the dark roof, the floor breaks and he falls in the water

then it shows the starting building and sez fin liuke the guy from street sharks

the end

that was pretty good

not 100% accurate to the probablyu true story, but not bad

its only like 70 mins and has a good style

nice darkness and bit of light

good twists and characters

its well made and doesn't need swearing or b0ning or nude scenes or gore to make it cool

its a good period piece and holds up well

plus ther art is pretty good, like something in Castlevanias or TMNT Trourament Fighters on Seag Genesis

even though we know who the killer is, his secret reason for doing it is kept hidden untiil the end

and the end is like the 20s Phantom of the Opera or something where its a bad guy who has issues that make him not all bad, goes nuts and getting it

both even fdall in the water in franch!

i liked this and its worth a look

although the end is kinda hard to see

For Bluebeard 2 i want it to pick up where the 1st one left off and they are trying to find his body, but as they didn't, its a chance he's still alive. also he's still alive and going around wasting people as he's fully snapped and has nothing better to do. also its an 8 bit sega master system and game gear, nes and game boy, atari 7800 and lynx and tg16 game where you play as blue beard the gaston puppet master in attack mode and go around hiding and getting close in the shadows to the chicks and pulling off their heads with your bare hands

The Eagle Review

 Note: I spell better than the soviets as myt R's are the right way

The Eagle

This is my review on The Eagle from 1925(100 years before Tranbnsformers Vicvtory)

its based on the book dubrobsky by bAlexander Pushkin that i never heard of neither him nor the book

its directal by Clarence Brown who i assume is clancey brown sr and he did the 20s lasnt of the mohicans, the 20s the cossacks, flesh and the devil, the yearling, the 40s angels on the eou i mean in the outfirld and the plymouth adventure

i never saw this but it stars drudolph valentino, Louise Dresser from Mr Wu, Albert Conti from The Black Cat, James A. Marcus from Sadie Thmpson, Carrie Clark Ward from the 24 Dange's Inferno and Scaramouche, Spottiswoode Aitken from Birth of a Nation, Gustav von Seyffertitz from Queen Christina and The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg, Agostino Borgato from Murders in the Rue Morgue and Birs of Paradice, Mario Carillo from Torent, Gary Cooper from a lot of good stuff, Otto Hoffman from the 20s Noah's Arc, Eric Mayne from The Conquering Power, Russell Simpson from The Grappes of Rwarytth i mean wrath, Mack Swain from Torrent and a buncha 1800s homies i never heard of

So after titla and creitds we get theczarina inspectying her troops in the ussr before it went soviet

a horse cart goes outta control liem the guyver and a horeseman chases after it and jumps on the horses to stoop them

rudy is the horseman and he meets this girl therte and they like each other

oh and this old lasdy is there and i thiunk its her mom, but shes not got like the moms in anime

so the cart goes on and rudy hears the girl zcar saw him using her horse just now and he introduces himself toe the girl zdxar

she wants rudy and anotrher guy to come to her place at 10 pm

i assume to b0ne

so he meets her there and she lets him have the horse as hew showed courage

hes happy and kisses her hand and she runbs his hair and like hes her pet

they seem to have an attraction but she gets some booze as they are soviets and love liquor

but they both throw the booze away thinking the other didnt see as i guess its drugged

what is this? legal AGE POLANSKI?!

they fake being drunk and she offers to make him general but sez hes too young

trhey a lieuntenant has a death warrent ready to be sihgned by her and she signs it but bends the guy away

then she crys and sez rudy is the 1st soviet to see the czarina cry asnd kisses him a bit

nowadays this would be seuxal harrassment from a senior boss

jk the guys who worry about that dont care when its a woman doing it

she goes off to getta durpizre for him and he tries to leave but a guard shows him something and tells him not to leave

rudy only enlisted tro serrve in the war but when czarina comes out in a night gown rudys gone and she spazzes out

rudy readys a nnote and its in handwriting as people were devolved back then and the czarina orders rudy brought back, dead or alivbbe, xtrrme beach volley ball

then czarina gets dinner served and flirts with another guard like she did rtudy

as rudy goes on horseback bhe sees a wanted note for him and books iut

later kyrilla seizes the rudy's estate liek he's candya55 trudeau or something and a judge is poaid to help kyrilla

they drink wine as they arws soviets and love destroiying their bodiues witrh boozer and smokes and b0ning and fights and eating cr-p

1 goes for more wine and in the celler is a bear on a chain and copllar, but not the gay sxxx way

the guy freraks out and the others laugh at his torment as they are the bad guys

kyrilla greets his daughter who is the chick the rudy liked

later kyrilla is biting it and rudy comes to see him and wwait its rudys dad

so the people want rudy to free them from kyrilla and k man has a guard of cossacks  to work for him

so rudy vows to frfee them from kyri,laa and starts going artound in a mask as the black eagle to fightn kyrilla

is this a super hero moivie?

so rudy sends a note to kyrilla saying hes comming for him and kyrilla sez hes brave but a popped boioze bottle freaks his fata55 out

later rudy sees a chick weho k lord sended a guy to seize their cr-p and rides off on a horses a55

as a horse goes under a bridge, rudy ijn masked hero eagle guy, jacks the guys items by poulling him up and lets him go

then gives the ghirl who was jacked of sh-t what he took from ther guy

later the dauhgter and lady are goiung down the road in a cart and a buncha biker gangs on horseback attack and catche m

the lady tries to use her candya55 dog on em but it doe nothing

its the black eagles goons and trhey send her back but keep the daughter

rudy in mask sees her and finds shes k lords kid and lets her go

is this where captain blood goyt it or did this come after ?

he shakes her hand and his ring f'd it and she bites her hand

rusdy asks if they met but she sez no then she wealks off

hje follows on forse and she dont anna ride it and is stubborn

so in guess theyre gonna fall in love and haVE 50 BABIES

eventyally she gets on the horse and smmiles at him and goes off

later rudy goers to the post office and acts like a frenchie and speaks non candaian frecnh aka real frecnh aka noin devolved frtench

he getes a cart and horses and goes to kyllias place to teach his dauighter french

wait, its another guy who is the french tutor and errol flynn i mean rudy is going in a cart with him

so on the way there, rudy tied and gags the frenchie and takes huis place as the tutor, and leaves him in the cart.

rudyu is gonna shank kyrilla but daughter comes in and he sheathes his cain sword

she asks if they met and he paraphrases her comment on her meetng himn b4

they shake hands and she recognizes his ring and he sez the black eagle held up his coach and gave him the ring to give to ger as a token of devotion

she sez to return it and kyrilla sez he'd rip out his heart if he were here like ion mortal kombat

ruidy gives him a note from the b e saying he freed his daughter but is commingh for him

later they are having a meal and he puts too much peppeer in his soup

theres a good moving shot of the table as the camera goes back and we see da feast

they toast to kryillas long life and rudy is a bit f'd anmd under kyriuillas plate is anote from the eagle

bud eagel like wild guyitar??

later the people dance and rudy talkx with daughter about the b e and hoiw she weants him tio not take revenge

btw, sahouldnt he be against the czarina? i mean this guy was just following orders, she GAVE the orders!

do kyrilla likes how his kids frencxh is comming and lets rudy in the basement to get wine

but in there he seez the bear and daughter finds out and gores in

the bear chain breaks and it comes for the daughter so rudy pulls out a weapon and caps the bear to h e double england

a good guy with a gun saved a life! its harambe 2! or rather 0 as this came 1st

she sees him as the eagle anbd blacks out, then later, sdhe reads the bible at night about not seeking vengeance

in da gaerxen; a beardo tellls ruidy the men are tired of waiting and want him to do his osth of vengeance

daughter hears something outside abnd goes oyut, wait, she just puts the bible open to that part on rudys deck

rudys comming sio she hides in the closet and rudy reads it, thern reads "an eye for an eye" anbd highlights it

he gets his firearm friom the closet anbd she isnt seen asnd wwhen she comes out after he left, reads the eye passage

rudy goes to lhyrions bedroom andf is in his mask anf wakes him uyp at gunpoint

daughter coomes in with a gun at b e and he lowers his weapon and jumps out the wiindow

dad gets the gun but its not loaded dso he can't j fk ruiy

the people fiund the eagel was here and rudy is one of em and i think rudy is gonna guard khyron

he sez to daufhtyer the eabnnfgel wont hatm her dad when hes there and sheb smiles and gives him a gun

they go to bed and dauighter walks in on rudy strangling her dad, which was probabl;y j=rkin him off in thge real version

but hes actually massauging his headache away and goes to teacvh her the french

shes not in the mood for lessiopns and he offers a massage like some kinda creeper as hes her teacher and dad comes in and tries to help her

rudy heels i mean feels her neck and jaw and where her double chin would be if she was a fata55

he asks how she fells of him and she sez she hates him and goos off

he follows and she sez she'd call her dads cossacks and out him but sees the cossacks have caught the eagles lierutnent outside

khyron interrogates him and they take off his shirt and k man whips him

rudy comes out about being the eagle and dads men come up

daughter locks the door but rudy sez he wont run and she admits to loving him and they smooch

the cossacks break in and he escapes in a hidden passage andf brings her wqith him

rudy frees his lieutenant and he chcik and lierintien esdcape as the cossacks come after em

hes caughhtsd by the guards anmdf its the czarinas goons who catch him as they have his wanted postyer and a death warrent

wait, shes signing his death watrrent and her cutrrent butt buddy asks her to free him as becauser of rudy that she started b0ning him

the regess puts butt buddy in charge of his execution and the rudy juewlini has 1 final request, and they let him have it; marrying the daughter

after he kisses the bride; the butt buddy comes in and shwows him something so rudy kisses his cheeks as he's eurtopean

funny how rudy plays a soviet yet is french italiano, but in the biopic valentino from 77: they got a soviet guy to play rudy

so he makes out with his new woman i meean wife and is taken away to be put to sleep

at 6 pm he's gonna get the firing squad and butt buddy begs toi not end him, wait, itsx czarina who begs and they it hits 6 and the troops firte their muskets

czarniea is bummed and butt buddy asks czarina  to signs a passport for the frecnhie

sahe sees its valinteino and he sez its not and she realizes the thing and signs it happlily

turns out the troops were firing at target practive fake people, or jiinzo ningen in nihonbgo and czarina seez valintinoi and daughter coming i mean going in a cart tio go to candy a55 france

the end

That was quite good

nice romance and action and suspene

good filming and style and it has a good show of how monarchy is a danger

the twists were nice and i kinda suspected he'd live at the end

the mask was like zorro or batman or black satan(remember him??)

its a decent movie based on a book i never read and i'm glad i saw it

plus its only like 70 mins

For The Eagle 2 I want him to be dealing with lusty frenchies in a daemon cult trying to take over franch and then extrend to the rest of earth, so he has to resume the role of the black eagle to take them on. also its an 8 bit platform game like Shinobi on sega master systema dn game gear, nes and gamer boy, tg 16, atari 7800 and lynx where ytou play as rudy in a mask and fight the fgrenchies with a bladed yoyo and other gadgets to savedd the world

Miami Connection Review

 Note: i spell better than koreas

Miami Connection

This is by review on Maima Commention fromn 1987 (the year robocop came out)

its make by ruixhared pRK PARK I MWEANRT f u kytboard i hot dog u butt

and its by and starring Y.K. Kim and a buncvha guys i never heaRD OF

it came out in trher 80s but everuyone hated it o the director quit, but years laTER, FDOUND ITS A CULT FILM SO HE got redemtion vibdiucatesd

i saw thisd on tmc i mean tcm in the 201-0s andf liked it

its made by guys who haf no idea what they doing but itv hads fans

like tommy wiseau and trhe room

so after somer logos we get a drug dfeal in mianmi where a buincag giun tortin g guys meet but ninja sneak in and take out a guy wirth s shuriken o the nevk

thjer guys open fite but are taken out by sengoku era ninja tricks like hiding andsnipering with a bow and arreow

1 guy gets his head slixzed with a blade

so the ninja icve em including 1 gut getting an arm slicved off as its the 80s and we usded to be cool

the ninja retuern to their placer and this white robed ninja is the boss like joew musashi uin the shinobi games on sega

he wants the money buty the ninja forgot to get it so he did

then credits and title as a mobntage to 80s musicv of scenes of the heroes riding bikes, doing kung fu and rocking ouyt

then its in societ orlando and thre main heroes get togetherand wait, its ther bad guys and they are gonna move a lot of nose candy in florida

thjey go to a cluyb and this 80s band plays another 80s song right after we just had 1

its aboutr beingf friends so i think care bears would like it, or yugioopgb

1 guys is a bad guy and is wirth the bads and his sister is in the band

the singer looks like hall or oates, not sure whivcjh

vtw im trying not to use backpace on this review

this song goes on for a whiule but its kibda nicve

then its the university of central florida and inb class for conputers in the 80s, the teavcher saez something good about their teem

chick from band is there andf a guy comes by and makes faces  and they walk later

i think hes ghewr bf andf shes only fanmiuly is her brother who pays her scjhooling but she hoes on about her backstoerry

she dont like her brother and he is witrh malcontents and as her and bf walk these mad max guys come uip and its brother and hios droogs

brorther is angry and malcontent and slugs ouyt bgf and for no reason

bfs crew comes by and stands up troi him and main guy is a koreas who has a thick accent

they wal;km off and good f--lk we;re like 15 mins in and it felt like nothing

at the club the owners or w/e argue and break into kung fu fight over what musc is there

btw i mean wtf a flag dsays baysde like saved by the bell 1

after qw phone call where a guy is t9oold to get here as he had issues hetrtingf the money together, we see brother with the bn9nja and hes told to get rid of the band so they can control the area

not sure how a rock band in college is ptreventing them from owning the area, but if ta la winning a beybattle in beyblade can make or break voltaires plans for taking ocver the world in beytblkade season 1, anything can happen

afterthe main guys eating, we get the band playing a song in the club about being Against The Ninja

in the 909s i mean 80s; nminja were all over, ninja gaiden, shadow of the ninja,  inbja scroll, ninja turtlkes,sega's nina i mean ninja proincess u i mean princess or the minjas on master syster, legend of the kage, la blue girl, ect

now its just narutro and his robert cop bootleg boruto

but the song is actually kinda good, like cheetah men or the room, it got bad reviews, cuylt fans and acrtual good muisc

after trheplaying in the at club, the band drives off but bad guys follow them in a car and the music is dramatic and cool anmd 980s

the band runs into a buncha malcintents like soccer fans in soviet enmglAND and they block road

1 guy blames them for him lodsing nbis job and wants his droogs outta town

i think its a guy who was in ther club and got canned

1 guy dumps beer on them and the band goes bad dudes against these not dragion ninja and beats their a55es

the band ruynbs but is cxhased and kung fu fights and the fight scwenes are actuaslly good

yeah the main guy has a thick accent, but the music anmd fights are good

arnold and jean claude has accents and make good 80s 90s films

latter in their pplacethe 1 blacjk guy gets a letter from d c and he reveals he has a dad wgho's still alive

turns outblack guy's mom wwas korean anddad was american and had to return to the states afer his military duty wwas over

but black guy didnt like himfor leaving then, but still looked for him

spoiler; black koreans have it pretty rough

you think itsd bad in america? that's nothing compared to korea!

so then the guys go to the beach and check out the 80s bikini babes

lots of butt shots, its like my littlke pony or bdbgt

hauln oats flirts witgh a chick so sdhe shoves huim into a ferw buikini babes on the geround and they smacj ion him

bf and sisater make out ib the sewa, then we see the band working out and training in a gym

the guys they beat up last night coime by and wwanna see bands boss

wait i think its not the band andf the boss is the bro

bands beat guys offers to work with him to stop the college kung fu rock band

then we see the good guys or at least 1 of e,,  training in kung fu

wow its alll in 1 take

then he spars with a the bf and theres a birt of slo mo to look cool

wauit i think its another guy and not bf goes up usinmg a rubber knife

he pills the guys nose i mean puls with his toes

bf later suggests putting board beareaking in theirt act but wait, yeah it is bf and another guy worrys about bro and his cocaimnum buds

this banmd is the only fam,ily they have and taekwondo is their style and trhey wanna vidis i mean visit  all counttries their rents are from on tour

there they play music and will visit taekwando dojo to promote peace and love

later at a restaurant thiese guyts are gonna leave w/o paying and 1 guy looks lie hes in a diap[er

the cook trys to stop em but they attack so he kicks their candya55es

then the band comes in and is imprtressed by his skuill and they tALK ABOUT TAEKLWANDO 

then we see the band playing as they do kung fu in their axct

after that, they find a note on their car saying to meet downtown from the bropther

as itds probably a TRAP, THEY CHOOSE TO GO THERE AND in the gym, the sister meets witrh bro over his attacking her band

he wants to be overprotective but she sez she lovews hiom and he cares too much and tthinks she knoes i mean he knowes better

he wants her to dump him but she books it and later its ay time and the maslcontents are waiting to beat uyp the good guys

the good guys drive to 80s music and go to this train yand and guys attack em as they drive

at the place they stop and fight the guys, some of who are satill wounded from b4, so if they couldnt beat em at full  life, maybe with less they can!

thheres fuel tankers on trains and 1 guys hity it and it f--king nukes the arera and wasters everyone!

jk reaslly it just clangs

thgen the ciops start comming and the guys scatter b4 the cops the get there

so we get a montage of bikers riding buikes like its mad mad max or hokuto no ken but tyi to an 80s songn about nbeaiong being a tough guy

a few chicks show their t-tds for a few sewconds

bvro shows up and hanfs ti i mean with the bikers and sez the main asian guy is a black belt and is named mark like the guy from the wroom

in the bar another chick whoes her b00ns anmd later main korean guy mark chats with the guys and 1 guy is making a new song

So later its day and the heroes are checking the mail and eating breakdfast, then go to school or w/e and the 30 y4ar old teens think they are cool

thery drive off in their ferrarri mustang p-mpmobile and these bad guys in a car follodw them to this restraumnt

as hallen oats os parking, the bads catch him and driove away and the otrher guys dont nortice

they take himn to the bad basew ands tie him up shirtless and with blood on him and the base is a gym

gf goes thwerew and asks the malcontents where a guy is and dont find him

so hallon a55 is tied to a construction thing and the bsadds are drinking beers as they are evil and beer devolves you

the good guys come over somehow knowing where they are and the bads wanna blow off haulin a55's arms if the heroes dont get there soon

the heroes k n i mean k o the guards and sneak around in the bright lit darkness and take guys out

the bads hear and scramble and are picked off, including 1 guy chopped in ther neck and blood squirts fgrom his opeb cut

its bada55 in a way only the 80s did

imagine oif the bad guys b0ned haul and oats whhen he was tied up?

after going final fight on sega vd i mean cd on the bads, they fight the bro whos using 2 spiked metal bars and the fight goes to the ipper floors

in the fighting, the brother falls off and bites it and gores to h e doubl;e california

the ninja repoerrtto the head ninja that bro is dead and he sez to avenge him and sends in the maiami ninja

why is  it yhat people who know nothing about making movies make the best movies

look at tommy wiseau and tghis guy

and the guy who did m d geist

soi later the blackorean gets a letter saying he found his daddy and he's happy

tomorrow they gonna meet him and his multiu  etjhnic homies of martial artists celebrate and get him a proper suit like its power rangers

main korean meets gf and says how wait, she knows and how her bro bit it, but she understands and is cool with her ponly surviving fasmily biting it

like Kenshiro and Hyou

oh and korean hero is in jeans,  a red shirt asnd a black leather vest and looks bada55

yeah his actoier has an accest, but whgen someone has a brittish accent its shown as good

double standard!! NUKEW ENMGLAND!!!

so the blackorewan, hero korean and i think bf drive and are styopped by motorcylce noinjas and theyt run through a forest as ninja chase em

now they fight and the blackorean gets scliced in the torco with a huge scice in him

its pretty bada55

sorta like in riki-oh how he carved open his body to remove washizaki's device

korea hero drags him through the water and puts him on the river bank as bf fights ninja

korea hero leather cposat cuts through ninja with a katana as does bf and b4 i mean bf takes off his shirt to look cool

the korean hetos english reminds me of toshio maeda, as its fluent in english but has that noteable accent

1 guy gets his face sliced open and its bada55

then he i mean the white robed ninja is there doing d=-=k on a stick and a ninja rtreports to him that all the others fell

white ninja skluices off his head and laughts and then sword fights korea hero

it turns to a fist fight amnd korea hero beats him down and wwalks off like a bada55

but white ninja pulls a blade and comes in, only to be countered by korea hero and shanked in his own gut

he falls over and i guess is dead with a big blood wound

but the white ninja  turns to his 2nd forme and becomes a big blood red tanuki with large tesrtiuckles that pulsate with a beat

jk

then we get slo mo blurry scenes of the heroes going aroundf the jungle and then they drive to bring blackorean t the dr

in the waiting room his dad is there and  the dr says the wounds weren't as bad as thewy seem and he's gonna be ok with some rest

dad sez hes gonna make up for his past mistakes and owes his sons life to main korean

maimn korean sez blackloreaN IS LIKE HIS BROTHER AND BLACVKOREAN IS WHEELED IN in a chair and him annd dad say they love each othewr

maim morean sez its over, then they walk and a title card like a silent film says "we gotta get world peace by removing violence"

if a lot of people love eacvh other, the world would be a better place

then we get clips from the movie with the actors name under em like space balls but to 80s  muyics

ninja's; eddy wood, like ed d wood jr??

lori blackmon, like digimon?

robert lee, ;iklike the confederate?>

the end

that was honesrtly cool and good

its got great music and fifghts, but the acting was a bit woofdy

but as meat loaf said; 2 outta 3 aint bad

its got a cool 80s vive ansd is positive and baa55 with nice effects and style

i had fun watching it and it goes by fast with good flow and feel

i enjoyed it and for a movie about a college knug fu riock bacnd fighting motorcycle drug dealer ninjas, its one of the better ones

itsa soolid entertainmemnt and esp conmapretd to todays filmes, is a treat and a joy

For Miami Connectoopn 2 I want the father iof the ninja who got iced to come after them and send magic ninja to fight the korean guy, so he goes enen i mewan even further beyond and accesses his ki and burns through the magic ninja an dhtir the i mesan their making weaponsof ki and making shadow clones and walking up walls and growing to autobot sizes. its also a 16 bit beat em up on sega geensis snes tg16 gna i mean gba and artari jaguar where you play as the korean guy or one of his friends and is up to 4 players