Monday, February 27, 2017

Tom Thumb Review

note; not as many typoes as usual(I hope)
tom thumb
this is my review on tom thimb (1958 ver)
its got allen young from the time machine, mr ed, and ducktales
its based on the brothers grimm story
hope this don't have as much cannibalism as the rest of their tales
ooh, is by MGM
I like their cr-p
wtf peter sellers is in this
this is a brittish movie?!
but the bros grimm were german!
its like a soviet movie made in America!
wait... the other way around
I think
btw love that color
bright and vivid
I miss when tv and movies had color
btw the director of this "George pal" was the guy who did the time machine and the 7 faces of dr lao
aw gross
its widescreen
the credits are done in a story book way
then a narrator sez in da past In a hidden village was a forrest
a guy cutting down a tree hears voices
then a chick appears on the tree
this is how horror movies start
she sez not to cut it down as shes queen of the forrest
the tree is the oldest/fairest in the woods and has animals living in it
he agrees not to chop the wood
so she gives him 3 wishes and vanishes
that's a lesson kids
kill trees and a spiritual queen can grant you wishes
she comes back and sez the wishes are also his wifes
then vanishes again
so he runs home and tells his wife
but shes making dinner
and don't believe him
he has cabbage for dinner and wishes he had sausage
then a long sausage appears
he talks about how hot the queen was and his wife wishes the sausage was on his nose as punishment
what a b--ch
he uses his 3rd wish to fix his nose
she b--ches at him but stops and sez sorry
they make up
that's nice
they have a room full of toys for a kid they never had
sounds kinda disturbing
they wish for a son to love even if he was no bigger than her thumb
that night something comes to their place
this is how horror movies start
it IS the brothers grimm
the guy checks a door knocking and its a really small guy
he sez hes the guys son
he meets the woman and she sez his name is tom
then they make him a birthday cake
they make him a donut
this whole "new son having talking and full brain development and powers" thing was used by go nagai in shutendoji
the mom sings a song about finally having a kid
shes not such a b--ch after all
when tom wakes up his toys are alive and stop motion
the Chinese toy is named con fu sion
he sez tom brought them to life
isn't this how puppet master started?
tom dances to his own song
he also does acrobatics with regular items
this is pretty fun
and hes pretty good
like the flying graysons
he also draws a doodle and it comes to life and dances with him
tom then dances with Claymation things
I had an idea for a movie
a prision movie about a race war between 2 gangs
and big toys!(like fortress maximus)
and they could be part live action(midget scenes) and part stop motion(toy scenes)
in one scene this midget sneak attacks a toy and beats him up.
then the midgets arms and legs snap and more toys come out from the shadows
they put the midget in the microwave and he screams "i'll get you for thiss! you\ll all pay! my wrath will continue!! ahhghhh! (blows up in the microwave)
when the door starts opening the toys return to sleep mode
the next day tom reveals he can communicate with animals
his dad tells him not to go to da black swamp
in the background 2 bad guys notice him and want him to be part of their bank robbing scheme
they plan to play a game with marked cards against the dad
they try to get the dad to let them use tom
he sez no and they leave
meanwhile this green jeans guy talks to forest queen
they r in love and she can turn human to let them be together
she tries to drop hints how to do that but hes a male bimbo
if he kisses her she turns human
wtf his name is woody!
he goes on about kissing other girls in da past but now he's improved
I think in the real version they were b0ning
she vanishes and he talks to dad/tom
he gets dad to let tom go to da fair where hes a high rank flutist
a guy at da fair has dancing shoes hat dance on their own
the simpsons ripped his off
woody leaves his musict to check the dancing shows but they're sold out
but he has a pair in toms size
he dances sorta break dancey
the size effects are pretty good too
now they'd just use computers
the band starts up again and woody's missing
so he gets fired
tom goes onto the floor and the shoemaker sez they shoes dance as long as the music plays
the bandmaster thinks they're saying "faster" so they speed up
tom dancing on the floor with people around em is really well edited
tom kicks off the shoes and rides a red balloon
meanwhile, the bad guys are on a roof trying to break in to a place
they try using a wood to pry open the grate
how'd wood get up there?
they see tom and cap the balloon with a slingshot
they catch him as he falls and get him to go in the grate to get the gold
they say the mayor has money that belongs to the poors and need him to help em
sounds like a liberal wanting to tax da rich
and just like those liberals, they want it for themselves
tm questions em but they say "u have my word of honor" and they buy it
like liberals accepting anything the main news tells em
he goes i the grate on a rope and ties the rope to a bag of gold and he goes up
then the guards change
1 guy sez they otta wack tom
so the oher guy brings tom and they go to THE BLACK SWAMP and say "don't tell anyone"
that's what fruits who touch kids tell their victims
they give him a coin and say bye
this tom on the ground with normal things being huge to him reminds me of the legend of Zelda he minish caphe meets the forest queen and woody comes in
he looked for tom all dAY
THEY ARGUE and reveals he knew she wantshim to kiss her
he sez he's gonna kiss her whe he wants to marry her
she leaves
i guess it really is B0NING
when tom gets home dad is b--ching about woody
when tom gets in he drops the coin by mistake in the pie moms making
they send his tiny a55 to bed
in bed the Chinese toy come in and they talk
tom cant sleep so con fu sion brings in the yawning man
we get weird Claymation of a mr magoo looking guy yawning
this makes me wanna yawn
yawns are like aids; very contagious!
i had a weird idea
imagine if when we yawned It came out our a55?
oh wow
the actor of tom thumb was i west side story
and 7 brides for 7 brothers
and the haunting
the next day the cops come in looking for the jacked treasure
she gives em bread but in t is the coin
they arrest them w/o a warrant or more evidence than 1 coin
what is this? england?!
top uses toys to get outta his room
but the guys are gone
hes gotta clean the family name
he comes in to find woody singing and woody knows where to go
this is a good place to start a video game
they go to a castle and find the bad guys counting their loot
woody tries to just grab it but gets KO'ed
THEY RETURN to counting it BUT tim messes with the coins to make 1 think the other is cheating him
the "cheated" crook tries counting himself but cant count
after counting issues he busts the other crook in the head
tom wakes up woody with a candle on his foot and woody has a boss fight with the crook
but the crook wins
then the other crook wakes up and bashes his fat a55 with a metal shield
they fight
its really comical and fun and has many a55 shots
the cheeted crook keeps beating the other crooks head on the color but sees tom
he runs and they try crushing him
they catch him
imagine if they sat on him and he crzwled up their a55 and busted their guts
meanwhile toms rents are gonna get the whip for their accused crimes
no trial?
what is this?
soviet Canada?
tom bites the hand of the guy holding him and gets away
he goes up the stairs and falls into a horse water thing
the crooks leave and woody wakes up and tails em
the horse goes down the road to the village
tom is in the horses ear giving it orders
meanwhile the whipper is about to whip tom dad
but tom gets in at the last second like birth of a nation or orphans of the storm
tom outs the crooks and they get caught
1 with bad teeth gets 2 teeth broken out
they always have teeth being broken out but if you remove a bone its too much
woody kisses the queen and they go invisible
then he kisses her better and they come back
at the wedding, to kisses a toy bride on the wedding cake and it comes to life
the end
what a fun film
clean bright colorful and lovable
for tom thumb 2 i'd like for the forest queen being humanized to have a power gap in the woods and some animals go to war with other animals. the bad animals like coons and dogs ad cats and wasps are on one side and the good ones like worms and spiders and centipedes and dragonflies are on the other(oh and geese are the bad guys). tom and his toy wife are ambassadors and shes really really pregnant with toms half toy son and the bad animals wanna wack tom and blame it to the good animals to get humans on their side. they invite tom to a peace meeting but its a trap and op has to fight his way through several levels to get home and get word the bad animals must be wiped out(oh and bears are bad ones too) and tom has several magic powers and cool gadgets to get through it.

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