Thursday, April 13, 2017

Dr Goldfoot And The Bikini Machine Review

note; I pell like I smell, spicey!
dr goldfoot and the bikini machine
this is my review of dr goldfoot and the biokini machine
is got Vincent price and frankie Avalon
Vincent price was in Edward scissorhands by tim burton
and frankie Avalon (no relation to sakura Avalon from cardcaptors) was in pee wee;s playhouse Christmas special(pee wee gave tim burton his big break with pee wees big adventure)
ive never seen this film but my olde chume raigekiman from youtube liked a few clips from it so I figured i'd review it for him
btw the title sounds like an H anime
ooh, mgm did this
its widescreen
it starts with a classic song and Claymation for the credits
nowadays it would be cr-ppy cgi
but this has more charm
then the camera goes down san fran sisco like sonic adventure 2
its set in the distant future of; the day after tomorrow
good thing global warmings fake lol
this chick in a trenchcoat and hat like inspector gadget goes around invincible to being run over and shot
in a cafeteria frankie Avalon is attacked by his gf for not having enough to afford more than cheese sandwitches
the coat girl comes in and water spills outta her bullet holes after a drink
she has a confederate accent and she thinks frankie is name amstrong
hes a secret agent under cover (I think) and she seduces him
they go back to his place to b0ne
and under her coat is a shiny bikini
she keeps trying to b0ne him but he resists
is this a p0rn0?
also a guy is watching from a secret lair
and he works for Vincent price
vince bashes the minion for wasting her on frankie who he knows isn't rich
he reorients her and she turns French and p-ssed off and leaves
lol the minion is named igor
and hes a grave digger
and vice (dr gold foot) keeps insulting him
like megatron and starscream
he sends the coat chick after the real Armstrong and igor brings in a buncha bikini girls
she fakes having car trouble and wins over the real Armstrong
they make out and a cop asks Armstrong for his license
vince gives the bikini girls poison opera glasses that pop their eyes with poison blades
in case they have a gf
how random
I'd never expect dat
while programing them, the bikini girls start dancing and vine wants em to stop
meanwhile frankie is searching for the coat chick
he works for his uncle Donald(duck tales?!)
frankie don't like don calling the girl "a babe"
they work as investigators and he's 00.5
also hes not allowed a gun
and I think they're fighting communism
at night in some 60s place a caveman band plays and the coat chick dances to it
wait, shes with the Armstrong guy and getting him drunk
and vince and igor and supplying da booze
she nearly reveals she works for goldfood but he remote stops her
she agrees to marry him
also igor drops ice down a chicks dress and creaches in to remove it
this is like an anime
except its from the back
frankie reads a mag about the coat girl (number 11(not android 18)) marrying the guy
goldfoot gives 3 7 and 9 coats hats and poison glasses
igor makes number 12 but shes too manly and kicks his candy a55
later, 11 spend the wedding nite in different beds with Armstrong and gets him to sign things
but if they didn't b0ne after the ceremony its not a full marriage
like on my 600lb life where the chick is 2 fat 2 b0ne
she goes shopping and frankie finds her and ries to win her
goldfoot intervienes and in a tug of war, pulls her hand off and gets away
she goes with goldfoot and gives him the shares he signed over but she forgot power of attorney
frankie tells don but he don't buy it
frankie goes to goldfoot memorial park and its a graveyard
I love the colors in here
very bold and bright
he sneaks in and sees igor go in a hidden area in a coffin (which he goes down)
this reminds me of Scooby doo
]he follows the bikini girls to goldfoots lab where goldfoot made a girl for an italiano rich guy
he tells the 2 girls to win over an African diamond king and some other guy
they're married but he gave em a lipstick ray that will fry the wives
this sounds like something sailor moon or wedding peach would fight
11 is getting the chair as punishment for screwing up
frankie hides under a sheet and they mistake him for a body
after a clash, he gets away are books it
frankie gets to his uncles place and accuses the inspector (dons superior) of being igor
frankie goes to armstrongs place and reveals his woman is a robot
what about cutey honey?
they then get drunk offscreen and fill in the plot ofscreen
frankie hides behind a wall and 11 returns
she changes to a night gown despite it being day out and they make out
she has him to sign a paper, gets changed fast(cutey honey?) and leaves
igor shows goldfoot his invention; a boxing glove and arm in a case
later Armstrong gets frankie up from drunkness and reveals he signed it with frankies name
also 11 is punished by cleaning and getting shocked
is this a p0rn0?
frankie and Armstrong see the uncle don but he don't believe em
until he sees the robot hand
also goldfoot and igor have a lotta cash now from something
frakie and Armstrong(not the degrassi characters) return to goldfoots base and he drops em into his lair
goldfoot stops em with his traps and shows them his bikini machine
he uses a magazine to choose rich men to be husbandos for his robots
and uses machines to program them to match the husbands
11 comes in and Armstrong follows not seeming to know shes a mAchiNe
they have dinner goldfoot is so plesent and formal and respectful
except to igor
11 only speaks japanese now
I got some of what she sed
goldfoot shows paintings of his ancestors who were bada55
then why is he making sexy robots?
kinda less compared to being a pirate or attilla the hun's sensei
then he shows his torture chamber
now he's bada55
hes got an Addams family vibe to him
he shackes Armstrong to a wall and shoves frankie into a cage
igor threatens Armstrong comicaly
this reminds me of beetleborgs
hes gonna separate armstrongs head from body with a chai and collar
but gets his leg caught and goldfoot saves his a55
goldfoot threatens to turn armstromg into a "gibbering idoit" if he don't sign
he brings him upstairs and ties him under a pendulum(not the cr-ppy Yugioh cards(synchroes forever!!)
wtf was this from his corman poe movies?!
goldfoot calls igor but when getting frankies outta the cell, gets locked in and cuffed
frankie saves Armstrong (I didn't see where goldfoot went)
wait I think he was pushed by frankie off the edge
despite being able to yell to frankie b4, Armstrong cant talk with the gag
they get away and goldfoot frees igor
they take goldfoots car and its like kit from knightrider as its full of random gadgets
but goldfoot chases them on motorcycle
goldfoot remote detonates the car and they get in a red car
the chase scene is them infront of a rear projector or w/e as they act in a still car/motorcycle
ma this movie is fun
ooh, some scenes are body doubles in san fran sisko
reminds me of bullit
they ge ahead of godlfot and goldfoot goes down a tnnel into a streetcar(but is ok)
goldfoot and igor chase them in a small phaIIic car
gldfoot busts their red car somehow and they get away on a streetcar
but goldfoot and igor are on another streetcar
this reminds me of pee wees big adventure
they escape on a one ma motorcycle
also the streetcar goes off the track
they get in a boat on wheels and roll downhill
this is insane
I love it!
igor accidentally busts the streetcar with a grenade
goldfoot goes after em in a jeep but goes off a cliff
in a missle area
they gets blow apart
so... are they dead??
frankie and Armstrong get on a plane and 11 is dating the uncle don
and igor and goldfoot are on the plane
the credits roll with the theme by the Supremes and dancing wearimg black and on a black background
the end?
it sez ? on it
that was good
I had fun
good silly fun
really 60s
kinda like batman
camp and entertaining
for dr goldfoot and the bikini machine 2 i'd like for igor to use the machine to make himself smarter and overthrow dr goldfoot. gldfoot uses his bikini robots to prepare a counter attack to reclaim his empire as igor improves goldfoots machines into super items. also frankie and Armstrong try to find a magic item that can turn number 11 into a real girl but she can only have 1 of em so they fuse into 1 man with 4 arms and 4 legs like a table

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