Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Get Rich Or Die Tryin Review

note; this film is cr-p! so is my spelling!
get rich or die tryin
this is my review on get rich or die tryin
its the life story of 50 cent
so kind of a rip off of 8 mile
cant wait for Kanye to get his cr-ppy life made into a cr-ppy movie
btw the movie title has nothing to do with the story or characters
they just named it off of 50 cent's latest album of the time
just like vanilla ice's movie; cool as ice
it starts with credits in a rear view mirror and 50 and his droogs going on some mission
all to monotone rap
this is t singing
its just talking to a primal beat
btw quincy jones did music 4 this
50 and friends bust into a place and rob these white people
I'm watching this on BET so its censored
1 homie caps a guard in the leg and another nearly blows off some kids head
so 50 stops him
he goes on a tirade and back up arrives
the back up chases the homies out at gunpoint
they get away and torch the black car that served em well
50 gets home and a guy ambushes him and empties a gun into him
hes about to get his head blown off ad starts narrating his life story
then we get a flashback when he was a happy 80s kid w/o a dad
I think his moms a h00ker and they live with her rents in a house with 8 people
his mom gets him to smile
man they got an ugly kid to play him
also his name in here is marcus
irl he's Curtis Jackson
he narrates that he knew his mom sold drugs and hes ok with it
at home he raps into a mic at 3 am about liking a girl
his mom tells him to treat girls right
I should mention that we KNOW he's not wasted by that assassin as when this was released, 50 cent was alive
unless its like that episode of pokemon where James's rents wanted him to marry and he told the gang his backstory of freezing dead as a kid
that was funny
better than the cr-p they got for pokemon now
later 50;s mom takes him to her dealing area and gets in a dispute with a rick james looking guy
and her p-mp named majestic
50 gets outta the car to protect her
those dealers would b0ne him dead
the girl he likes he did the rap for gets the cassette of his rap
its about b0ning
the girl is sent away b4 50 cent gets her aids pregnant
that night his mom is iced and burned
its implied majestic did it
f caps lock
majestic comforts him
50 lives in the house with 8 people and its cr-ppy for him
I one event he splashes water on a sleeping guy for no reason and they fight
so he sleeps in the basement
because he wants expensive shoes he turns to selling drugs
but that corners dealers beat his a55
majestric saves him
they would've beat him dead
then b0ned the body
the eaten it
like that gay xxx star in Canada
majestric talks to him and he wants sneakers and a gun
he dont know why he wants a gun, but he gets it
after a timeskip he's a disgruntled teen
his uncle deuce is smoking chronic and cr-ppily rapping
when grampa does laundry he finds 50's gun
his 1st action? ask; what r u doing going threw my stuff?
at school he is caught with chronic or guns or something and gets arrested
grampa warns him not to be like mom but he sez(in really cr-ppy acting) imma gangsta gram pa nd I'm prowd of it!
I assume that was meant to be a pivotal scene
but it kinda s-cked
also he blames grampa for it cuz "if I didn't hav to hide my troo self I could've left it at home"
makes him sound like a crossdresser
he moves in to a place owned by majestic and tries rapping
after 3 hours he goes back to selling drugs
he sez the pay for waiting in the cold and jail adds up to under minimum wage
then they make some drug crystal and "everything changed"
their turf is next to the Columbians and they clash
later at a wh0rehouse one homie hassles a wh0re for smoking crack
2x a month his welfare comes in
the war against the Columbians gets more intense
also after crackheads robbing the Korean store too many times, the owner takes a stand and caps some shoplifters
50 sez; aftur da deth of doz 2 innicint kidz
but they wernt innocent
they were thieves
at the service for the dead shoplifters 50 meets a high status guy who tells 50 he's god
he does something about the Columbians
at a rap thing, majestic (I think) gets him photograffed for something
later 50 buys a car and smiles while listening to rap and driving
ma he's pretty ugly
look at those teeth
its like a horse!
he sez; I ha it all, but it felt like some thing waz missing
he means chicks to b0ne
later he's driving and gets out cuz he recognized the girl he tried to b0ne as a kid
at a restaurant with her his droogs come by and he reveals they work for him as a gagsta rapper
later he sees majestic and majestic s happy 50 bought a big white car
later 50 and friends stop near a chum's place and notice cops there
they act like its bad
but the cops are the good guys
and the drug dealers are the bad guys
its common sense!
and this is the 90s on the movie so its 2x as true
at a club 50 and his girl watch a rapper when a comubian guns a guy down
the 1st thing said? call 911!
but I thought you hated cops!
now u want em to SAVE you?!
50 takes his gf to his slummy dirty place and they eventually b0ne
but 1st they sing about being best friends
wait, its the rap from b4
he didn't know what b0ning was when he wrote the song about b0ning as a kid
after b0ning they return to the hospital and their homie who was shot is crippled
good thing they left him to b0ne
so 50 goes to avenge his crippled friend
he caps a guy but instead of icing him, just blows out his legs
the cops search their place and instead of guns, find drugs
the high rank guy gets arrested and tells his drug dealers to behave
I should mention the film never shows the harm 50's drugs did
no destroyed familys or health
just the success it brings the dealers
see "intervention" for more on this
the new leader sez someone is against 50
50 goes to jail besauce of the drugs and in the shower a guy pulls a knife(out his a55?) and in the fight, 50 beats a guy hard and saves a guy called "bama"
50 is sent to da hole and someone drops a razor blade for him to seppuku
he decides to "tell da truth" and "not back down"
1 of 50s homies caps a cop and is executed by his gang by having his teeth pulled out and suffocated with a bag on his head
i'd feel worse for him if he wasn't a drug dealer and murderer
maestic goes around having people iced and making rap guys
1 guy rapping for majestic as the studio invaded by Columbians who kill everyone
bama tells 50 how as a kid he was tormented for being lighter skinned
so he carried a screwdriver to f people
50 carves rap words in his jail cell wall
I'm surprised he spelled them right
majestic meets with the Columbian leader to deal with things
later 50 gets out and wants to go straight
he wants to be a rapper
ad bama is his manager
but majestic wants Kanye I mean 50 to be his #2
he turns the offer down and drives off
but bama don't like the guy in the backseat fidgeting so he pulls over
he suspects him
he sez; if I'm right, im right. and if im wrong, I still could've been right...so im right 2x
that don't add up
schrodinger's homie
also 50 cent's girl poops out a baby
if it wernt for this film I wouldn't know he had kids
we get a montage of him trying to be a rapper
also majestic visits 50 jr and (like candyman) sinisterly tells 50s gf to have 50 say sorry
so 50 wants to kill majestic
he also wants more security
hows he pay for that?!
he has no work!
he gets even by singing about majestic and his homies crimes
that'll show him for threatening ur fam!
well, it kinda does as it p-sses off majestic and he puts a geee haaad on 50 cent
majestic threatens the record companies and they don't give 50 a contract
I thought they were making sales and selling tapes already
so they decide to rob the columbianos
then we're back at where the movie started
his gramma calls his name as the assassin is aout to fire and it makes him shoot 50 in the mouth instead of the head(sideways)
why was he at his grammas place?
the assassin runs and the flashbacks
they get him to the hospital and at the same time some ugly woman poops out a baby
who is this pregnant woman pooping a baby?
and why is this mentioned here?!
the music is meant to be majestic (the feeling, not the killer)
wait, the baby being pooped out is a flashback to his birth
he has visions of the crippled friend walking and his dead friends saying hi
the assassin returns to majestic and majestic shanks him with his cane sword for failing to kill 50 cent
during his recovery he has his teeth wired together
oh and his song was a hit
I thought they couldn't get a record contract
his gf sez she can relate to his pain but now he's weak for his pain medication addiction
so he instantly busts all his pain medicine
that's gonna f him up
she leaves him and takes the baby
but b4 going away returns
after an offscreen withdrawal, he gets his braces off and still has a bullet in his mouth
after his gf feels it, she makes out with him
then they b0ne again
then he raps the song from the start of the film
but s-cked at it
so he redoes it with "more pain"
still sounds monotone
that song is used for a training montage to recover strength
they also give him tattoos and make cd's to sell by hand and recordable discs
man, he cant sing or act.
maybe he can do p0rn0
hes big and buff
later he talks to the high status guy and he sez he failed to protect 50s mom
also when he heard 50 was capped he prayed to 50s mom for God to save him
is this guy his dad?
I thought it was majestic
this is like a bad soap opera
also the high rank guy is like 80 and the mom was like 21
later a lot of slum people have a "stop the crack" rally
nowadays they'd be seen as bad guys and those wanting to legalize it would be the heroes
50 sez bye to his moms fam and sez he left them protection
later majestic meets with 50 and wants to have a respectful picture taken
50 doesn't consent
they hug and he tells 50 he iced his mom
so they fight
50 beats the black off him
50 walks away as majrstic sez he didn't mean to ice his mom... then pulls a knife on 50
so 50s homie caps him and 50 walks away as they empty guns into him
50 walks away looking like a daemon and sez; iv been lookin 4 mA father ma hole life! turnz out, I waz lookin 4 ma self!
then raps on stage
the end
man that was pretty bad
I notice 50 never kills anyone
I assume in the real version he was killing more people than the qween of englind and o j simpson combined
but they cant show it for legal reasons
as he'd get the chain
this movie was pretty f'd up, violent, badly acted, badly written, didn't really have any real lesson besides "being a violent homie is cool" and made drug dealers look good
and I kinda enjoyed it
its fun to watch, decent editing, good lighting, the music isn't that bad and its got a "flow" to it that's entertaining
I see it like trog with joan Crawford
cr-ppy but enjoyable
or Spider-Man venom separation anxiety
its got charm
for get rich or die tryin 2 i'd like for him to make friends with some 3rd world dictator who likes his raps. while visiting there, the oppressed people have an uprising and try to bring the country down. so 50 cent and the dictator team up and fight em off. and as the people are malnourished drug addicts, and 50 and the dictator and big buff guys, they burst em apart with punches and practically shatter their rotting bodies with heavy blows. also its a 2 player beat em up on sega genesis and snes and 1 play is 50 cent and 2 player is the dictator (and they have psychic powers that can unleash psy bursts once per level)

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