Sunday, April 16, 2017

Night Of The Lepus Review

note; my spelling has tourettes... butt aids!!
night of the lepus
this is my review on night of the lepus
ts also called "rabbits" and is based on da book; the year of the angry rabbit by russel braddon
I never read that nor heard of him
its got deforest Kelly who was bones on star trek
ooh, its got janet leigh
shes jamie lee Curtis's mom
ooh, its set in Arizona
it starts with some butt pope complaining about overpopulation
but if everyone on earth had decent living space, the whole world of 6billion + could fit in texas
then he sez its rabbits that are overpopulating in Australia
and if we're under attack, we should defend ourselfs
you've redeemed urself butt pope
he sez rabbits are called "lepus" and they breed and eat too much
why not just use em for target practice?
or experiments?
after a credits scene to cool music, a guy riding a horse is running and the horse falls
so he blows a hole in it with his shotgun!
nowadays he'd be seen as the bad guy for harming some monkey
he gets back to his farm and sez it snapped its leg in a rabbit hole
see u in h-ll horse!!
later he talks to deforest Kelly about rabbit problems
he's a doctor, not a petsmart employees!
later this guy and his blonde wife and daughter are working with animals by shaking the cage and recording the sounds
deforest Kelly(now called d k) comes by
the guy (roy) sez hes gonna use the sounds to scare mosquitoes to save on ddt
I don't think bugs know bird sounds
d k asks for help with the horse kilelrs farm
they drive through an area of people shooting rabbits
the little blonde girl(did speilburg do this?!) is freaked out cuz she likes rabbits
not after this movie!
horse killer needs the rabbits gone but poison would kill birds and let grass hoppers come out
so the roy tries something
they get some rabbits and experiments on em by injecting em with hormones to make them less fertile and more like the other gender
but its f ing em up
if you don't have a medical problem you don't need hormones!
its like taking radiation if u dont have a tumor
the roy injects 1 rabbit with some genetic f ing thing
the girl likes it so when the adults are not looking, she switches it with a control group rabbit and asks to take one as a pet
guess which one she takes
a teen takes her rabbit and chases it away cuz those rabbits killed his chickens
do they do that?
he sez sorry(why?! u knew what u were doing! a55 hole!) and sez to tell her mom the rabbit is with him
later they burn the area to get rid of the rabbits
watership down depicted this from the rabbits p o v
aka; the bad guys!!
later they find a big rabbit paw print
later the teen and the little blonde girl go to see the teens friend captain billy who has a gold mine
I think he's gonna b0ne her
don't go with him little girl!
he's gonna get u pregnant!!
they arrive and look for captain bily(bayou billy?) but hes not there
maybe he never existed and this is a purvo trick?
the little blonde girl finds giant a55 rabbits and freaks out
I think they were eating captain billy
later shes in shock and the teen didn't see what it was
maybe the rabbits are in her mind and its her way of dealing with being b0ned?
later its night and a truck guy stops and sees big a55 rabbits going around
Nibbles and treat!
Nibbles and treat!
Nibbles and treat!
their mouths are blood soaked and they b0ne him dead offscreen
later a cop stops by and sees the truck with wrappers everywhere
oh and the chopped up body of the guy
it looks cr-ppy
but the fun cr-ppy
good cheese grommit
this is an AWFUL lot like that movie, the killer shrews
a cop sez they found a guy in the mineshaft chopped up
the scientist(who's black)sez they things were chewed
cop; what caused this? vampires?
dr; possibly. but I'd say a saber toothed tiger
this isn't sabertooth
or maybe this caused it
also a fam was chopped up
a scientist sez f ing with the dna of 1 rabbit f'd the rest of em
cuz each cell has the dna code for the whole animal
ma we're a full half of a full hour in
and not much has happened
one guy wants to use dynamite
this isn't looney toons!
the gang goes to the mineshaft and sez it goes in 2 miles
and theres another end that's allegedly been closed off for years
yeah, closing off a thing will stop giant killer a55 rabbits!
they care about rules
d k goes on top of the area mined and finds 3 holes
he drops a rock in one and rabbits go mental inside
they hardly show those little butt stuffs
instead of blowing the rabbits up, roy goes in cuz; whatevers inside is a mystery
that's f ing stupid!
he wants to analyze its blood and cells
is he expecting a queen rabbit to be laying eggs? like in them and aliens and arachnophobia?
after much exploring they say; we should've marked out way
what are you?! naga from slayers?!
they find the rabbits and take pix
theyre as big as wolves
maybe just giant shrews
I thought they were like car sized
as they somehow finding their way out, a giant killer rabbit comes out and mutilates d k
wait. its not d k
janet leigh shoots it a few times and it runs away
they eventually get out and they blow the hole
why not use acid?
just fill it with acid
or acid fire
remember acid fire?
from the 90s?
maybe I'm thinking ice fire from sailor moon
d k sees the photo and they wanna release it
roys blonde wife janet leigh is gonna go u north to get away from the stress or something
but some rabbits survived
I knew they should've used acid fire
holy cr-p theres a lot of rabbits
the horses are afraid of em
as is a dog
I heard that as a kid(in the 80s?) my cousin had a rabbit or guinea pig and it was in the back yard and the neighbors dog came over and tore it apart in front of her
the horse killer comes out with his shot gun
the horses get out(they know they';re next) and the rabbits b0ne em dead
for close ups its actors in fursuits playing the rabbits
1 guy books it in a car but the rabbits get him
remember once upon a hamster?
that show was nice
now it would be done with cg
wait, the rabbits didn't get him
wait, they did
those are some cr-ppy effects
I love it
big as wolves my a55!
these things are like the size of small trucks
maybe big rhinos
they try getting in a storm celler but the farmer with shotgun caps em
they shoot the ceiling to get the ones above em in the kitchen
the rabbits are going like "wtf is dat?!" as their caped from under
btw, how many bullets would it take to ice 1?
in Hawaii an elephant went berserk nd took over 80 bullets
they eventually bust in a place and ice some dame
they also waste other people
I don't know
I don't care about these dinks
the next day this fam is driving by and decides to stop at a small town
but no ones there
also the janet leigh and little blonde girl are driving and the car gets stuck in sand that looks like kitty litter
wtf thats her mom?!
shes like 60 years older than her!!
roy finds a place full of rabbits
but they don't see, hear or smell him
the roy tells the law where the lepus are
it might not be roy
they send in the troops and they arrive after dark
but the rabbits are on the move
how'd they consume enough mass to grow that big?
were they eating the other rabbits?
they don't have enuff men to stop em
but they need a fence 10 feet tall 20 miles wide
or the other way around
wait, its 2 miles
they decide to use a train track to electrocute em
the cops tell people theres giant killer rabbits coming
so they gotta use their cars and lights
the janet leigh and grl keep the rabbits back with a road flare
the roy saves em from a chopper
the rabbits are shot at by the army
and the cars and lights funnel em into the electric track
ooh, flamethrower ing rabbits
it would be cool if the rabbits exploded into blood and guts
maybe if this was an 80s film
they fry
later they say the rabbits are done
and the camera zooms in on rabbits in the field
freeze frame and credits
the end
that was pretty fun
not bad
the kind of film u watch to poke fun at
like the room
but not as quotable
for night of the lepus 2 i'd like for the rabbit blood to seem into the ground and infect worms and the worms become sentient. they use psychic powers to communicate and say they wanna declare war on the birds. but the bird people at the bad wwf(not the REAL wwf with Hollywood hulk Hogan)(the loser one with the panda) tries to shut down the worms as they love birds(in all the wrong ways) and they have a battle with domesticated birds under bad wwf control, and worms with psychic energy blades they can summon and attack with.

No comments:

Post a Comment