A place where I post silly reviews of various movies from an "everyman" or "contrary" P O V. Done in the style of a newspaper article and a grade school book report. Don't take these seriously. Its all in good fun. Also, each review ends with a crazy sequel idea.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
From Here To Eternity Review
note; spelling badly is mondo cool
from here to eternity
this is my review of from here to eternity
its based on a book I never read
if they made it into a manga I might check it out
but I do really read word books
I try but its not my thing
it stars Montgomery(oh, that's where GOMER comes from, montGOMERy) CLIFT,frank sinatrta and ernest bourgnine
gomer was in some other movies and ernie was in escape from new York, all dogs go to heaven, and spongebob
I'm not big on frank Sinatra
in real life he was kind of an a55 hole
but he was popular in public
like r fk
or to Canadians, david suzuki
is set during ww2 b4 America joined in
at an army base in Hawaii
ooh, burt Lancaster is in this
I keep getting him mixed up with burt Reynolds
btw
BURT Lancaster and ERNEST borgnine
it starts with men marching
wtf theres a helen hunt in the credits
monty transfers over to the base and talks with frank sinatra
monty meets burt lancster and its revealed monty is the best bueglar on the island
he meets a higher rank guy and its revealed he left his last post cuz a worse guy got his job
the high rank guy brought monty over to be on his units boxing team
but monty quit fights
high rank guy (captain) ges out and they leave
monty and burt talk about how captain wants to become major and if he wins the boxing thing he has a shot
sounds like Yugioh gx
a blonde comes by(a guys wife) and burt and another guy comment on her
I think they thunk shes b0ning other guys
oh shes the captains woman
later captain and his wife talk at home
she seems malcontent and suspects hes b0ning other chicks
he sez it was an accident
he accidentally b0ned someone??
in the place the guys relax, monty plays pool and the guys want him to join the fight club
frank sticks up for him but is shot down
I forgot to mention monty iced a guy in a boxing match
like in rocky 4
if this were Yugioh or a shonen anime, he'd win back his nerve to fight after a friend was in danger
the next day monty is accused of marching cr-ppy and cis given personal training
later they practice assembling rifles
monty gets done 1st but screws up and has to run laps
later when practicing bayonet use monty trimps and has to run laps
frank whines and runs too
they get really sweaty and oily from running
I bet they stink!
later its raining and burt visits the wife
he needs to have captain sign papers
but he has a cold one at the place instead
lonely housewife
her husbands subordinate comes by
he's soaked from rain
this is how p0rn0es start
they talk for a while and she complains abourt her cr-p
just b0ne already!
realizing shes bnot gonna b0ne him, burt leaves bit she calls him back
then they make out
it fades out so its implied they b0ned
later its payday and they get some time off
frank gets monty to go to bars and clubs
burt talks to a guy about how they b0th b0ned the wife
at darker he meets the wife and she sez guys tried to pick her up and she thinks he thinks shes a tramp
she whines and so does he and the reveal they have swimsuits under their clothes
frank and monty go to a club that has soft drinks and h00kers
monty joins
btw the monty character is named "robert e lee prewit"
the s to a chick and sez hes joined the army for 30 years
frank p-sses off ernest borgnine and they argue
ernie is the guard of the stockade
monty breaks it up and a guy gets is chick
monty hassles him about cr-p monty cant do
wtf mAn
this guy's f'd
we get a scene of burt and the wife going into the ocean to swim
they used that to cover the guy b0ning the chick
monty talks with her and they go to b0ne
then w cut to the wife and the burt making out in the ocean
its just kissing and they talk about kissing
but I think in the real version its b0ning
he reveals he knows a guy who b0ned her
he goes mental over it
I don't see what his issue is
shes already cheeting on her husband
why is her b0ning other guys such a big deal to him?
she reveals she was married to the captain and he cheeted on her
but she was preggo
when she gave birth the captain as b0ning a dame
he came back drunk and blacked out
the wife lost her uterus and the baby
sounds like she should also hate booze
if it wernt for the booze he wouldn't have blacked out
but now she goes out b0ning guys as she cant have their illegitimate kids
but what she doesn't know is theres diseases
just wait until AIDS
back at the club, frank is drunk and leaves and monty explains his fight issue to the chick
its revealed the guy he wasted was his friend
wait, he didn't bit it
he was coma'ed and his eyes died after he woke up
this f'd him up
the next day a guy tells him the boxers are going all out now
we get a montage of scenes of them hazing him
kicking filthy water in his face
making him dig a hole then fill it
In the boxing place a guy spills a bucket of spit on monty and he cant take it
he sez no
the captain sends him up a hill in heavy gear and makes him hike back
but he still wont say sorry for saying no to the guy who spilled spit on him
so he is sent on another hike
captain is gonna court martial his a55 but burt sez to do something else so hes not in the stockade for da boxing tourney
onty is sent on cleaning duty
burt tries to get him to just fight
but he is a stubborn a55
also frank is gonna try for corporal
the guys go out to a bar and monty plays bugal really well
ernie comes in and makes a sexy comment on a photo of framks sister
offended that someone is attracted to his sister, frank attacks ernie
ernie pulls a switchblade but burt steps in and defuses it
ernie sez he's gonna f up frank when he goes to the stockade
burt gives monty a weekend pass to see his chick
later he sez hes gonna meet frank later and leaves
in gundam this means ones gonna bite it
frank is then called for guard duty as the guy is sick and frank is too slow getting dressed
monty sees the chick but ses busy
gotta b0ne a lotta guys
but monty hasn't b0ned in a while
later she meets with monty at a bar
they talk about him loving the army but the army hating him
he has nothing else to do but join the army
then frank comes in drunk
turns out he skipped guard duty
wtf man
guards keep the place safe!
what if the commies attack?!
this guy's a j-rk off!
later hes shirtless in the bushes of a hotel area
he's probably nude with his thing flopping around in the real version
he then fights with 2 MP's
he gets court martialed
hope he gets the whip
gets 6 months in the stockade
they're gonna b0ne him dead
hes brought in amd ernest borgnine picks up a long black rod
he's gonna cram it up his candy a55
u ever read berserk?(the manga)
remember what hPPENED with Griffith!!
later monty is with the chick in her home
burt and the wife are out and he drives her home
they had to be evasive to avoid getting caught
she sez she can divorce her husband and he can become an officer to get away
but he don't like it
they bicker for a bit
he implies hes gonna do it anyway
also monty wants to marry the chick
but she wants to make enuff cash as a h00ker to get a house and real loife in he home state or oragen
later the captain is displeased his wife wants a divorce and thinks its a civilian(as she wont be bold enuff to date an ary guy
also a guy sez to monty that ernie is f ing up frank Sinatra
and frank just spits in his eyes
frank is in da hole and ants to escape
the spit guy hassles monty until monty fights
but monty wont go for the face as hes afraif of coma ing a guy
eventually he overcomes it with anger and kicks the spit guy's a55
the captain comes in and the army guys say the spit guy started it
but monty sez he wont fight
at night they play a blues song
monty is drunk and chats with drunk burt
the a jeep pulls up and then frank comes in after escaping
he hid in a car and fell out
he sez ernest borgnine beat the black offa him
and might be coming for monty
then he bites it
see you in h-ll Sinatra!
in the AM monty plays taps
to be fair, frank kinda brought it on himself
later monty gets ernie in an alley
ernie is civil and monty is malcontent
they have a knife fight
the fight eventually goes behind boxes and ernest borgnine gets stabbed in the uterus
monty gets away as ernie bites it
monty escapes to the chicks place and the army don't suspect him
the captain is court martialed for being a d-ck to monty
but is offered a chance to resign
the new captain ends the boxing things and the spit guy is busted and put on latrine duty
burt meets with the wife and her captain husband is going back to the states
but burt never signed and handed in the form
they break up
back at the chick place, monty is drunk and mental
later japan attacks pearl harbor
ooh
one guy gets shredded by gunfire
yet his suit is untouched
like with that scene in tim burtons batman where he opens fire on the joker
burt manages things
1 guy wont give the soldiers ammo until he gets orders
what is this?! shin godzila?!
they overpower him and get it
they fight against the planes and take one out
monty hears of it and goes out
his chick gives good reasons not to go
his wound isn't healed
they'd find out he iced ernie
he's AWOL
they'd send him to the stockade
but he don't care
hes in a daze
like he don't got a soul
she tries to stop him but he don't care
I think he hid his soul somewhere and his body is on autopilot
he runs around with a bleeding side and when the guars confront him, he runs
doesn't even say anything or identify himself
so they waste him
new captain(I think)(maybe not) and burt talk about monty
they identified him by his h00ker club card
burt sez to his body if he just boxed he'd be ok
but now theres no more boxing
later the chick and the wife are on a boat and she makes up a story about monty being a hero
then reveals its monty to the wife(who recognizes it)
the end
that was pretty good
watchable and well made
lotsa b0ning though
they don't say it
but its obvious
for from here to eternity 2 i'd like for it to have bee revealed that monty clift had transferred his soul into his chick's uterus to be reborn as her son. he returns to the base 20 years later for viet nam as he has all his memories from b4. but a new hot shot cool manly confident sexy eastern European recruit is a skilled fighter and wants to revive the boxing tournament as he's a tough fighter and wants to how hes a cool guy. monty's character and he new guy clash several times but each time its never resolved as something always interrupts it. eventually they go to viet nam and are captured by commies and the only way for them to escape is to have a battle against eachother and the one who falls is gonna be eaten by the commies alive.
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