Friday, April 21, 2017

Rear Window Review

Note;my keybord is like jimmy steweaetts leg
rear window
this is my review on rear window
that title sounds like what you call the butt flap on long undies
its got jimmy stewart and some blonde
Hitchcock always liked blondes
ooh,  in color
but its widescreen
they otta fix that
I recall seeing this w/o black bars in the 90s
so it starts with a pan of the neighborhood and showing people doing normal things
1 chick puts on a bra and stretches around an open window
jimmy stewart has a broken leg
hes a photographer
he gets a call from his editor saying its time to get the cast removed
but jimmy reminds him its next week
jimmy talks to him as he watches the undies chick prance around
he sez hes bored and has spent weeks in his apartment with nothimg to do but look at the neighbors
after the call he tries to scratch an itch under his cast with a spoon
but it looks like hes trying to j-rk off
this hag comes in and tells him that in the old days they put ur eyes out with a red hot poker for being a "peeping tom"
nowadays we went back to attacking guys for finding chicks hot
aftersome back and forth she sez he might wind up in jail for looking out his window
I onten have dreams of looking out the widow and guys coming up to get me
she massages hm and he sez he don't wanna marry some chick
shes too perfect for him
he don't wanna drag her down to living with a camera bum
the hag sez it was simpler in the old days(slavery days?)
nowadays things have made marriage worse
he sees a newlywed couple in a neighbor building and they are lovey
they pull down the shades to b0ne
good thing they're virgins. otherwise 1 might give the other aids
at night grace Kelly kisses jimmy
shes wearing an 1100$ dress
that's in 50s money
she brings in a servant with food and wine
she wants him to quit his job but he don't consent
they look at the neighbors and comment
the undies girl is in a dress with 3 guys
reminds me of morgan McKnight from student bodies
later he watches this couple (one guy looks a bit like our hero archie bunker) having issues with his woman
later she nags him and wont listen so he yells at her to STFU
he explains his having to be cr-ppy in his job and how its not for her
she sez she don't care and wants to be in his life
she books it and later its raining and he hears a noise
he sees the archie bunker guy going out with a suitcase
later sees him going out again
later the undies girl, then the bunker guy
he keeps waking up for a few mins the sleeping for a bit
the next day jimmies getting massaged and talks with the hag about the bunker guy being a salesman cuz he goes out at night with a suitcase
bunker looks out the window and jimmie notices a dog looking at the bunker guy's flowers
jimmie gets binoculars and looks around
he attaches a long lens to his binocolars
wait, he just ses his camera and the long lens
and notices bunker has a big knife wrapped up
later  jimmy is making out with grace(not grace Vasquez from(student bodies)
but he cant stop thinking of bunker and him going out at night
hope hes not turning queer
that would be a twist
it explains why he don't wanna marry her
and spies on him out the window
he thinks bunker chopped up his woman
the he looks at him with binoculars
but grace gets p-ssed at his curiosity
he sez the wife is disabled and needs constant care
but no one was in there today
she tries explaining it away with coincidental logic
sounds like the deniers and daiana being wacked by da qween
then she turns to his side and listens
she investigates for hi as hes a shut in
the hag suggests he chopped her up in he bath tub
later bunker gets 2 uniformed guys to move a big wood thing
the hag goes to get the name of the truck
jimmie sees him make a long distance call
later he has a guy come by and talks about the icing
the guy explains it as a regular thing but jimmie counters
the guy wont tell the cops until he gets more evidence
later the guy comes back and sez the guys he asked sed the wife and later the bunker wet on vacation
but jimmie notices things that don't add up
jimmie suggests the guy(a private dick) goes in and gets evidence but the dick sez the constitution protects the suspect
better than soviet england and Canada where they do what they want
also in his mailbox is a oost cardsaying "arrived fine, feeling better, wife name
later jimmie notices bunker is going out and calls for back up
the grace Kelly comes over and its revealed bunker has his woman purse
grace sez a woman has  hand bag and she goes everywhere with it
also grace stays the night with jimmie
the dick returns and sez the buker is innocent
in the trunk was full of her clothes
jimmie don't buy it and gives counter evidence
its revealed in ww2 jimmie and the dick were in planes
he sez people do private things and leaves
jimmie thinks it over and asks if its ethical to spy if its to prove he didn't commit a crime
she lowers he shades and gets into lingerie that would be sexy in the 50s
then theres a scream and some b--ch whines that someone killed her dog
she goes on a whiny tirade
to h-ll with dogs!
send em to h-ll!
I hate those a55 holes
hope they go extinct
we wiped out better species
but only bunker didn't go to the window to see the scream
he killed the dog
give him a medal
he did a public service
later bunker is cleaning his bathroom walls(for BLOOOOOD!!??) AND jimmie notices the flowers were longer 2 weeks ago
something is under the flowers
jimmie writes a note and grace delivers it to the bunker and runs
the hag notices a neighbor taking pills
he notices the wifes wedding ring might be there d he had 3 rings in an earlier thing
jimmie calls bunker and sez to meet him at a bar
he sends the chicks in the guy's place and sez the signal for him returning is a flashbulb
the chicks dig up the flowers
but they find nothing
the grace goes in his place and the hag returns home but the bunker returns
he catches her and all he can do is watch as bunker attacks her
but jimmie called the cops and the cops save her
that's f'd
unable to save her
she has the wifes wedding ring and points to it on her hand while wiggling her finger facing the window
but bunker sees it
she gets arrested and hag goes to pay her bond
don't want dog and beth chapman on yo A55
jimmie calls is dick friend and tells him he got evidence
but bunker is coming for jimmie stewarts a55
he's gonna b0ne him dead!
if jimmy had a gun he could equal the odds
he gets his flashbulb ready
good suspense for the approaching onslaught
he comes in ad asks what jimmy wants
he wants the ring back
jimmy sez da cops have it
he goes at jimmy but jimmy keeps flashing him
they struggle and bunker throws jimmy out the window
but jimmy hangs on to bunker
the cops get bunker and  jimmy falls on his cast
hes ok
bunker sez he's gonna lead the cops to her pieces
he dug up the flower bed pieces and hid it elsewhere
then why kill te dog if theres nothing there?
maybe he hates dogs
later everyones happy (except the chick who was chopped up) and jimmy has 2 casts(1 per leg)
and grace is with him
the end
that was pretty good
good color, suspense, lighting, pacing, and horror
nowadays we'd see her chopped up pieces
but I liked this
for rear window 2 i'd like it if jimmie stewart is going through rehab after his legs are healed. but the killer from the 1st movie files a civil suit against immy for stalking, extortion and harassment, and eye damage from the flashbulbs. its a courtroom drama and the cops (wanting to make an example of jimmy for doing their job for em) cut the killer a deal to testify against jimmy. the grace Kelly uses her funds to get the best lawyer money can buy, but the cop union has used their years of dues to bribe him to throw the case. also, the killer sez his woman wanted him to chop her up and cuz she consented it was ok(which is one reason the cops let him off easy)

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