Tuesday, December 5, 2017

The Godfather Review

note; no seen yor! no italiano! see seen yor! el... I TA LI A NO!!
the god father
this is my review on thre godfather
i'm not sure which god its about
maybe one of the mexico demon gods
as its about a mexico cartel or something
so it starts with this guy who looks like my dad but more italiano telling about his daughter
some guys tried to b0ne her and she didn't consent
so they beat the black off her
he told this to fata55 marlon brando (who was in a p0rn0)
fata55 sez this italiano wasn't too big on hanging with him
oh and this italiano wants them to suffer and get iced by fata55
we never hear the other side of the storyu so I'm not sure how accurate it is
she could've been turned down by him and busted herself to get sympathy
fata55 goes on about respect or something
this italiano sucks up to him and fata55 sez he's gonna do it
but wants something i return
also its fata55's daughters weeding
the italianoes there dance around and it looks kinda Yiddish to me
1 italano seez the bride with cash in her purse and sez if it were someone elses wedding...
that's awful
1 italiano spits on a cop badge and busts a guys camera
makes me glad I'm Slovenian
apparently fata55 cant reject any requests on his daughters wedding day
better than deviantart requests
asking expansion images of anime chicks
1 guy aint on da list but wants to see him
al pachino shows his gf his adopted bro or w/e whos an advisor to the fam
these italianoes sing but its in italiano w/o subtitles
this italiabno singer who i think is based on frank Sinatra is there
fata55 helped his career
not Sinatra was freed from his contract by the not on list italiano holding a gun to the guys head
that's awful
like how cnn was gonna out this guy for making a gif of trump wrestling a cnn logo
Sinatra was kind of a d-ck anyway
later fata55 beats up a guy for being sad and sez he's gonna do the gun to head thing for another guy
later fata55 sez to never tell the daughters husband about their business
later 1 guy goes to new Sodom ( California ) and visits a movie thing
he tells a director to give not Sinatra a part in a war film
and offers to fix union issues as well as something about a big star going from chronic to heroin
the director turns him down
later director talks about his big black horse
later director sez not Sinatra ruined a girl he was helping
so he don't wanna help him
later director wakes up in bed and his horses head is there
there was a time people were shocked by this
not anymore
they try to make the director look bad for not helping someone awful
btw; animal abuse?
try that in modern film with a good guy
later fata55 is offered a deal in drugs
but fata55 turns it down cuz drugs r bad
irl i hear they big on drugs
btw nowadays the drug dealers would be the heroes and the cops the bad guys
later its Christmas
the uninvited guy joins a rival family gang
then guys garroted dead
then the advisor is abducted by 2 guys
fata55 buys some fruit but the abductors i think empty 2 guns into him
see you in h-ll de niro
oops, wrong movie
al pachino sees a paper saying fata55 got capped
he then throws the paper on da street w/o paying for it and runs to a phone
pachinos older bro gets word from a minion that fata55 was hit 3-4x and is alive
bullsh-t! they emptied their guns into him at close range
the abductors say to the advisor to make peace between the families
and that fata55 bit it
later abductor sez fata55 was hit 5x and lives
50 cent had loike 9 bullets in him and lived
the other crime families wanna avoid a gang war so they'd side with the abductors
then they get word the uninvited guy got iced
also its apparently 1946
tat explains the Ingrid bergman
later while being driven some where, a guy stops to whiz and had the driver iced
so fata55 brando is gonna make it
we get a lesson on italiano sause
pachino goes see his gf for dinner
later he goes to some building but its empty
he opens the door and finds a big black guy b0ning his gf
wait that's 8 mile
he finds his dad in a room and all guards are gone
he callas someone and has the nurse and him move fata55 brando to another room
imagine if this happened in my 600lb life?
he'd get stuck in da door
pachino meets a guy coming in and sez for him to go out
man, brando looks like an intalino version of my grampa and uncle on dat bed
outside pachino and the guy (a baker) fake having guns and scare off the assassins
then da cops come and a big cop sez he took the guards off fata55
and he slugs pachno
then the fam comes in with hired guards to protect brando's fat a55
later the fam had a guy from the other fam wacked
the cop is working for another fam and they cant ice him
theres gonna be a meeting with the fams the druggie and they want pachoino
pachino wants to sneak a firearm in the place an ice both da cop and druggie
then use his media liers to call da cop a druggie and crook
so thats why the media is bad
the big bros train him to and plan on how to do it
on the way there pachino gets frisked
what if he hid a mustard gas capsule in his stomach or in his a55?
at the restaurant the guy speaks italiano to pachino but theres no subs
there were subs b4
speak English mexico!
pachino wants the guy to stop trying to ice brando's fat a55
he sez he cant and when pachino tries to go to the toilet, the guy grabs pachino's crotch
back in the 70s holly wood was into dat
he goes into the mens room and finds a firearm
then returns and the guys sez italiano to him
then he wastes the guys and books it
that restaurant is ruined now
we get a montage of papers saying what da cops did to try to catch the killer
and the cop having drug connections
and a montage of people iced
and fata55 brando returns home
btw when he capped the guy at dinner, red dust flew outta his head
his blood is sand
wonder what he pees
and brando returns to live with his fam
that was an ok movie
entertaining but not the best
just roll the credits and i'll write a sequel
so the bro in charge of the crime wants to ice the abductor fam guy
and with the gang war they aint getting cash
we get a flashback to Greece or w/e they from and the people speaking italiano with subtitles
wait, i think its now
pavhino walks through this dragonball/fist of the north star style land
theres also bible looking buildings and one poster of a commie flag
they check out some italiano chicks and when they tell a big italiano about 1 he freaks out
pichini sez sorry and hes hiding in there from America
and he wants to marry his daughter
what about his Americano gf?
he gives her an itam
she sez gratzy
he sez; preggo
i assume its a charm that magically turns her pregnant
later the daughter of fata55 i think gort beat up by her husband
we don't get the whole story
maybe she threw the 1st punch
later on a bright day with many witnesses the bro in charge violently assaults the husband and sez he's gonna ice him if he does anything against the sister
so she can attack him but he cant fight back?
but if he does anything her bro will ice him?
2 wrongs are meant to make a right here?
mixed message
later pachinoe marrys the chick
later in the day they are gonna b0ne
once i spike tv it had "the godfather, uncut" "every scene, the way its meant to be seen"
and they blurred out the girls nips
here they cut the scenes with her nips
this is amc
back in America, pachinos gf wants to send him a letter
but the advisor wont as if he does the courts will know he knows where pachino is
later the daughter/sister weding girl starts freaking out and busting stuff
crazy b--ch!
he takes a bet to her as shes nuts and she tries to knife him
so he outmaneuvers her and whips her
what a crazy b--ch!
so her bro goes out to kill the husband and father of her next child(i hope) but gets shredded by gunfire
he was a d-ck!
btw the other guy who pacheeno shot was the druggie
fata55brando comes down and has a meeting set up to end da war
he also has a guy patch up his shredded sons remains
he acts sad cuz his kid bit it
now he knows how the fams of all those people he iced feels
later pachinou is teaching his woman how to drive and a guy comes in to move pachonou
later pacheeno wants to move his woman to her dads place
but she drives and the car blows apart
freekin woman drivers
btw fata55 brando got the Oscar for best actor in this
i never found him to be so great
hes just not that impressive
he turned down his Oscar for some commie thing or w/e
at least he didn't get it
he's not even in most of the film
later fata55 brandi meets the fams and gives a speech why drugs r bad
1 guy sez he wants drugs but not near schools
fata55brando sez hes ok with his older son biting it but if 1 of the men there has piciho iced then he's not gonna be ok with it
later he sez its brazini (bra + bikini?) who was behind everything
later pacheedo reunites with his 1st gf
does she know of his marriage?
hes working for brando's a55 now and sez hes like a prez ot senator
gf sez they dont ice men
pachiino sez they do
spoiler; r fk and j fk had marilin monrow iced
later pachinoh is made the new headmaster
he has the advisor sent to las vagess as a lawyer
later pachino goes to vegas and theres all these 5kanks there
so he kicks em out
don't wanna get aids
pacheenou wants to buy out a casino but the owner don't consent
also the owner had to beat up pachinos bro when he was b0ning waitresses
pachino goes mental and when his bro trys to calm him down pah chee noh orders him around against taking sides against da fam
later puh chee nou is with his gf and they have a kid
when did they make him?
someone wants him to be godfather to their kid
kim kardashians godfather was o j simpson
brando sez to pachino he didn't want pachino to be like him
later brando is with his grandson and plays with him
reminds me of my dads dad a bit
even dressed like him
but hes Slovenian
then brando bites it
see you in h-ll de niro
later theres gonna be a meeting with the fams
b4 it pachno goes to a baptis for the god kid
its in italiano or something with no sub
then 1 by one the crime ams guys get picked off
and i think so does the casino owner
pachino gets word and him ad his woman go elsewhere after the baptism
later pachino meets with his sisters husband accusing him of giving info to the other fams
he don't ice him cuz he and pachinos sister are pachinos godsons rents
he kicks him outta da fam business
in the car the husband is garroted
what a d-ck
he kills his nephews dad
kids need a dad
later the sister comes in amd is p-ssed at pachino for icing her husband
he has her taken away
pachinos woman asks if its true but he lies
the end
that wasn't bad
went on for like 4 hours but it didn't feel draggy
better than fransis ford coppolas bram stokers Dracula
here theres not even much b0ning
i wouldn't say its the best or anything
but its good
long enough to be 2 films though
srsly if it ended halfway through it would be a good movie
for the godfather 2 i want for them to face the amish mafia and they have magic. also they have the ability to negate technology like cars and guns so the italianoes have to resort to blades. but the amish have help from the sister of pachino as revenge for pachino icing her husband. also her kid is taught amish magic and has a blade made of ki that can slice through people in a few hits. its also a 16 bit platformer on sega genesis, super Nintendo and Gameboy advance like strider where you play as the kid and slice through italianoes with a ki blade. theres also 3 other amish guys to play as and its up to 4 players multiplayer where you wor your way up to taking out pachino who is powered up by the souls of those he had iced

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