Monday, February 19, 2018

Key Largo Review

note; I never saqw this b4. but my spelling sez I don't fill it(?????)
key largo
this is my review on ki largou
its got Humphrey bogart and I think Edward g robinson
and laren bacall
and lionel berrymore
its based on a play
and music by max steiner
ooh john huston directed this
after credfits text sez in florida islands are held together by bridges
the last one is key lardo or something
then the cops pull over a bus
they are after Indians who escaped jail
they might be headed for their home; key largo
but why?
that's the 1st place the cops would look!!
dumba55!
bogart is on da bus ands chex in at a hotel
but a guy sez da hotel is closed
cuz its summer
but a b--chy chick tells the bartender to give bogart a drink
oh and theyre listening to a sports game on da radio
I think its a horse race
she chats with bogart and sez she bets on longshots
I think shes drunk
bohgart is named frank mccloud like quentin mccloud from the high lander cartoon
a big guy tells bogart to book it as its closed for another month
but him and his droogs r guests
but bogart just wants to see a guy
se sees a guy in a white suitwho calls his wife
bogart and whity were in the same unit in the war
whity sez how the place is too h=-llish and hot and biting flies and tourist d-cks most of the year
sounds like dantes inferno
is there a river of human waste?
cuz in brazil there was a bay full of raw sewage
then the Olympics had people boat in it
oh, whity is in a wheelchair
they talk about the Indians and say they might surrender by tomorrow
oh wait, they said it to da cops
whity's kid bit it in Italy in the war
if you get killed by an italiano; ur soul doesn't go to the next life, and wanders forever
wait that's demons
bogart talks with a chick about the people at da hotel
oh
bogart was with whiteys kid when he bit it
then big guy comes in and sez sorry to bogart for being a d-ck
he does deep sea fishing
look out for sea daemons
and he hates dealing with that b--chy drunk
da chick gets a phone call and sez theres a hurricane
but the eco dinks say hurricanes are caused by global warming
and this is the 40s; well b4 that was made up
its almost as if weather happens naturally
bogart tells whity how bada5 his kid who bit it was
he talked a lot to stay awake and told all his life cr-p
b4 he was born he knew all secrets of life but when born an angel sealed his lips
I think the chick is the sons woman
whity and chick wanna go to Italy too visit his body
we hen get good music that sounds like the film is gonna end
bogart tells a chick of his life after da army
bogart helps them with da boatz and sez his 1st sweetheart was a boat
back then that sounded normal
but nowadays we got people who b0ne cars and "marry" ferris wheels
was he b0ning a boat?
then some Mexicans in boats come over
1 is 108 years old with a son that 112
sounds like time travel
well
this IS near the Bermuda triangle
a chick talks about her life and the whitey son
asda story comes in the cast stays in the building and has clashes
1 guy reads jokes and it p-sses off another guy
1 guy sez hurricanes blow off roofs and people are carried in sky
1 guy answers da phone and him and abnother pull guns on bogart
then we get a bath scene with edwatd g robinson
but we don't see his thing
he gets dressed and seems like al capone
and he has a fat cigar that looks like a big t-rd
he has everyone hostage and I think had a guy beat to brain damage offscreen
the beat guy is a cop
that's racist
what is he? a liberal?
eddy g (not Kenny g) is johnny rocco da gangster
hes lived in America for 30 years but the gov calls him an alien
whity tells off rocco but bogart sez roccos a bada55
he sucks up to eddy g's a55
rocco wants to be super big again
bogart plays it cool with rocco
whity keep hassling rocco
he tries getting up and uses tables as crutches
but falls
thr rocco smooches the chick w/o consent
that's the same as b0ning her now
some Mexicans or something come in but rocco holds em at gunpoint
rocco tells his story about fixing some election and the guy he got elected turned on him
he knew a chick who resisted his attempts to b0ne by fighting
and the chick here reminds him of her
she spits in his face and he cant do anything as this is a 40s movie and women get away with everything
bogart uses logic to make him not cap her
the drunk b--ch returns and comforts the chick who spat on rocco
she notices theres guns and tries to leave and get a drink
but the big guy sez boss sez no more booze for her
I think shes roccos woman
the window blows down and the storm has started
rocco wants to boo it if cars can get through da storm
rocco and bogart chat about what they wat
then rocco gets in a pistol duel with bogart
the music is really dramatic
bogart sez one less rocco isn't worth biting it for
and throws the gun down
then the beat guy grabs da gun and aims at rocco as he tries to escape\but rocco caps his a55
oh and the gun he gave to bogart wasnt loaded
bogart sez he didn't know
and he only cares about himself as he don't care if rocco lives
later rocco has sent Indians at the door away when they tried to come in from da storm
roco is p-ssed at the drunk b--ch being drunk and getting "da shakes" from lack of booze
that's a serious medical issue
oh and he gave her the 1st drink
might as well have injected her with liquid HIV
or chronic
she sings for a drink but he don't give it to her cuz she s-cked
so bogart gives her one
and rocco slaps him a bit
who slaps a guy?!
real men slug their foes
candy a55!!
the chick talks with bogart about how he risked himself to help dat drunk or w/e
1 guy chats about how prohibition might come back in a few years
that would be good
whity prays for the storm to ice rocco even it everyone else bites it
rocco cant take it and tries to cap bogart
but the guns empty and the storm wrecks da hotel
good effects
now it would be cg
after the storm they have hope and bogart might leave
but the chick wants him to stay
the boat is gone so rocco wants bogart to pilot the other boat to cuba
is this b4 or after the commies too over?
oh and the Indians who came by wernt sent away and stayed outside the whole storm
rocco lied
hes like cnn
thena cop comes by asking for a guy named sawyer
I think hes the guy who rocco capped
saywer made a call b4 da storm
and da cop cant find him
they say he left
and cop books it
but notices a body in the puddle
he chex it and sez its sawyer
rocco sez the Indians wgo broke outta jail were there but left a bit ago
cop find and caps the Indians and sez the whity is responsible
he gets everyones names and addresses
but rocco lies
hes like cnn
cop leaves and some guys stop by
they are roccoes homies
they got lotsa cash and cr-p
the homies later leave on good terms
bogart chooses to go with rocco
and rocco pays whity for his damage
roco ditches the drunk but she gets all clingy and needy
she does something with a gun in someones hands
they get to da boat and drive off
along da way bogart caps a guy but gets capped
then caps another guy
rocco realizes the drunk took his gun
he takes a guys gun and orders a man up to fight bogart
the man don't wanna goi knowing its suicide so rocco wastes him
rocco sez he'd give bogart all da cash
he throws a gun out and sez he has no gun
then comes out with an extra gun and bogart caps him
but hes not dead so bogart caps him
but he's gone some life left so bogart caps him again
its like childs play 2 how chucky just wont bite it
bogart uses da radio and sez he nes a medic and to patch him to the hotel
at da hotel da cop sez hes sorry for icing those 2 escaped convicts
drunk sez it was cuz of rocco
then they get a call from bogart and he sez something to da chick
she sez bogarts ok and coming back to em
the end
that was pretty good
good drama, acting, tension and story
i'm not usually big on bogart but this I could follow
he was good in here and was kinda bada55 and cool
always in control
steady but strong
for key largo 2 I want bogart to be returning in da boat but gets sucked into the Bermuda triangle and has to deal with under water daemons who want to turn him into a flesh slave. also the magic of the triangle has healed rocco who wasn't fully dead and is charged with the triangles evil ki. also he must try to work together with rocco who is slow but strong but bogart is fast but not as strong by fighting these under water daemons and their ancient sea monsters like mosasaurs and megalodon. but dome octopi and squid who are slaves to the sea demons are freed and fight with em. its also a 16 bit sega genesis/super Nintendo/Atari jaguar/Gameboy advance beat em up with vehicle levels where you control colossal squid and fight whales, mosasaurs and megalodon. its also got squid attacks in the beat em up levels where u have a sceen clearing super where a squid eats all bad guys on screen.

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