Thursday, February 8, 2018

The Big House Review

note; my spelling isn't bad, its prison lingo
the big house
this is my review on the big house (1930s ver)
ooh its by mgm
it starts with legs walking and opening credits
then this car drives up to a cool looking prison
it look like metropolis by fritz lang
this guy named kent is sent for 10 years for manslaughter
they take his stuff except smokes and photos of his blonde sister
hes 24 and they finger print him
they give him clothes including a hat
then take nude photos of him in front of a wall with lines to measure his wingspan
he was drunk driving and ran over a guy
warden sez his sentence can go down for being good
the kent is room mates with morgin and butch
a killer and gunman
and kent is a wiener
hes gonna get b0ned dead
butch sez he iced a gang for 500$ with a machine gun
mabe it was for the best
butch takes kents smokes and when kent tells, butch and morgin deny it
tthen butch slugs out kent
morgin gets butch to give back the smokes
they find the picture of kents sister
butch sez shes like his ex who he gave ant poison
in real life wallice beery poisoned his pregnant wife to kill their kid
butch sez he should've just beat her jaw a few times
I think I heard beery beat his women
later the inmates are gathered together to stand in squares outside
then they walk in the yard
some guys tell kent hes getting parolled
but its a prank
then morgin gets etters to give to butch and kent
butch got one ffrom his gf
wait I think hes faking it
the real letter sez his mom bit it
butch remembers his mom being fierce and nearly biting off a guys thumb
butch wants to break out
a guy asks for a match and chats
morgin thinks hes a "stool pidgon"
I think its slag for butt buddy
kent talks with the stool guy and is revealed butch has a knife
morgin tells kent not to tell or be with stool
but kent is sic of morgins cr-p
later butch and morgin bet with smokes on a bug race
butch wins
but it was fixed as the bug was stuck to the floor with gum
kent stands up to him but butch pulls a knife
they fight but the guard stops it and butch hides the knife
guard sez he can send butch to the dungeon
they have dungeons?!
nowadays we cant even ell at inmates or the wieners say its abuse
kent defends butch and goes with his story of they were rasslin
later its meal time an butch starts an uprising over not wanting prison slop
but the guards fire a shot and say the next will take him out
so he submits
warden comes in saying he was fair to em and runs the show
they search butch and he goes to the hole ( the dungeon )
but they don't find the knife
check his a55!
later the inmates are at machines
kent sees his lawyer who sez hes getting out tomorrow
wait I'm not sure its kent
also kent meets his sister in the place they meet outsiders
kents sister sez they tried but hes not getting out
later stool sez if kent helps the system stop bad guys, he gets time off
I think  see where this is going
oh its morgin whos getting out
he sez its good behavior that got him off
and they got a new cellmate to replace butch
some foreigner the call Rasputin
kent plants the knife on morgins cat
they check the place and find butches knife
it costs him his parole and sends him to da hole
he swears to get kent for this
they put him in a small dark closet
at night they talk and butch is gonna break out
later after a month in da hole morgin is all f'd
they bring him out on a stretcher
but hes faking
hes put in the hospital wing but hears someone else bit it
so at night he hides in the corpse place and gets out
later morgin goes to the sisters store
she gets a note from her kent somehow warning her of mirgin
she pulls a gun on him but lets him go as she cant send him back to prison
she gives back his gun (DUMBA55!!!!) but a cop friend of hers comes by
after he leaves the sister and morgin get along and she helps him
but the cop is onto him
morgin is p-ssed his parole got removed and plays the victim
maybe he shouldn't've  have stolen all that meth or w/e he did to go to jail in the 1st place?
later hes going away to escape America to live in the 3rd world forever to avoid a few years of prison
also he sez; I knew when THAT DICK walked in
but dick means detective in 20s slang
nowadays it sounds wrong
then the cops come by and bring him back
and for some reason the sister loves the morgin now
btw the sister is played by the human gf from the island of lost souls and freaks
back in prison butch is planning a prison break
also kent is in on it but butch thinks it was Rasputin who planted it
morgin tells kent to stay outta the break as its gonna be murder and his fam would miss him
btw I heard lon chaney was gonna play butch but bit it b4 he could
kent outs the break plan to the arden to get his term cut in half
also the breakers have guns but the good guys don't know where
I think its in their a55!!
later its American thanksgiving and they sing church songs
nowadays they'd avoid al references to Christianity
then they pray the Our Father
during prayers (I think this is a mass) the inmates pass guns and bullets
but drop one
later they prepare for the break in da yard at noon
mogin tries to get butch to not break but it don't work
the guard brings in morgin to get info on the break but he don't say
then its noon and the guys get through da gate
the inmates get more guns and capture the guards
they took the prison!!
I think the cops are ready and trap em in part of the prison
its hard to tell
and butch thinks morgin sold em out
butch sez hes gonna ice every guard unless they let em out
he sends a guard with the message
but warden sez he'd see em in h-ll 1st!
and they open fire
morgin and kent hide with da guards
one guard is brought out and iced
they throw his bod out
1 crook gets capped and has keys
morgin opens the door with em and gets a guard back to his cell
morgin locked the door to the guards and has the key
kent freaks out and admits he outed em\
an butch is gonna b0ne him dead
then the army tanks come in
as ive just been playing advance wars, I know guys with machineguns cant stop tanks
wow this is bad a55
butch is after morgin but morgin sez es innocent
now these once friends are trying to ice eachother
they cap eachother
then crawl at eachother
its revealed to butch kent sold em out
they reconcile
and cuz moregin saved da guards he gets a full pardon
he reunites with the sister
the end
that was good
one of the 1st prison movies
kinda like 20s riki-oh
and its based on actual events
some 29 riots
this was cool and a good early talkie
plus no one got b0ned
for the big house 2 I want for there to be too many inmates in jail and the prisons are overcrowded. so they start housing the inmates in zoos and letting people come pay to see the inmates have fights or b0ning contests. also theres gang wars between the animals and the humans as they keep trying to b0ne eachother dead. its also a 16 bit sega genesis and super Nintendo and Atari jaguar game with you playing as either a human or animal and fight other humans ort animals for turf until you fight an elephant as the game boss.

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