Buffy The Vampire Slayer Review

note; this is the movie. also; typoes
buffy the vampire slayer
this is my review on buffy the vampire slayer fro 92
I saw a few seasons of the tv series in da late 90s
kinda fell outta it
this movie has kristy swanson and pee wee herman
it starts with a narrator sayng vampires exist and only a slayer can stop em
she's born with a special mark and trained by the watcher
then we get credits with cheerleaders in high school
Donald Sutherland is in this
and luke perry
and hilery swank
and david Arquette
and steven root from king of the hill
man, lotsa 90s guys
man this looks like candy man in high school
dat 1992
ew, its written by joss whedon
his purvursion knows no bounds
oh and this is in south California
aka new Sodom
and 90s chicks are shopping
Donald Sutherland in a trenchcoat and hat encounters the main blonde
man, the colors and lights
its so 90s
I love it
kristy swanson has a bf who can drive and they make out in public
also theres a rash of killings by neck wounds
and the bodies disappear
must be a mummy
better trash the Egyptian exhibit at the museum
later kristy is with her bf watching tv
then we get a flashback /dream of this chick getting iced by vamps shes fighting
this blonde vamp sez to his master they are coming back
then its day again and the teens talk about problems with the environment
they seem like bimbos
later the bimbos are talking about the dance and 2 are dressed 80s cuz its retro
also 2 teens are drunk
and flirt with em
the drunks recognize the bimbos from a theatre they were in where the chicks were loud
later the drunks are talking about the bimbos and b0ning
blonde vamp picks 1 off and the other is saved by Donald
I think the blonde is pee wee herman
later kristy is doing gymnastics in an 80s style aerobics outfit and Donald shows up
he sez hes here to show her, her birthright
in the graveyard
to stop vampires
shes skeptical
but he sez she had the mark
a mole she had removed
he also tells her of her dreams of past lives
as she never told anyone she believes him
they go to the cemetary at night despite him asking her to "go now" in the daytime
I think I like this buffy more than the tv one
this ones more fun
kinda 80s valley girl
I read in one buffy tv episode she loos at a thing of vampirella in disgust
vampirella was done by people who wanted a strong cool female character
sounds like normal feminism; hating something you don't understand cuz you think its offensive
eventually a vampire rises from the grave and Donald fights him
he pushes it back and onto kristy's stake
she then shANKS another one
later the bit drunk teen goes to see his homie
he's flying by his window and wants to be invited in
later Donald gives kristy a ride home and sez not to let the vamps know who she is
or they;ll be hunting her
this is starting to seem like nami sos
kristy gets home and her rents go out
then she has a trippy dream of a vamire in her bed in a tim burtony place
oh and blonde vamp caught one of kristy's friends and this dracula looking vamp comes down from the ceiling
later Donald sees kristy in the girls change room as she didn't skip practice to see him
he sez shes missed years of training and it seems like hes gonna give up on her
ten throws a knife and she catches it
as only the chosen one could catch it
then whats with needing years of training if she;s already good?
then we get a training montage
how'd Donald get so good and knowledgeable?
who trained him?
later administrator steven root talks to kristy about her issues
he thinks its drugs
later 1 teen drunk I think, leaves his mechanic work and sez for da head guy to skip town
later kristy is out at night and takes out a vamp
but Donald sez she shouldn't do it as it might be too many
also she gets womb issues when vamps are near
Donald sez his job is to prepare the slayer and not interfere
also he's always born with the knowledge of what to do
later the teen I think was drunk is driving and the blonde vamp clings to his windshield
yeah pretty sure that's peewee
he drives through a tree area and peewee punches through the car roof
then gets hit by s branch and his arm comes off
probably teen drunk stops, gets out, and gets beat up by the other vamps
then kristy saves him
he recognizes Donald and blacks out
yeah its the drunk
they take him to kristys place and talk
wtf shes only been training for 3 weeks
later peewee gets b--ched at by the big bad boss vampire for leaving the other vamps after losing an arm
later the school is gonna have a service for the bimbo who got ate
oh and a guy pats kristys buns and she attacks him
when b4 she was ok with similar stuff
oh and; guy grabs girls a55?
written by joss whedon??
is this based on his experiences?
later its a b ball game at high school and 1 player is too good
hes a vamp and buffy I mean kristy fights him
he runs but she steals a motorcycle and chases
she gets caught in a junkyard by other vamps and tries reasoning with the player
as she knows him
but the other drunk teen comes by and gets him in da back with a stake
then kristy wastes the other 2 vamps
then the big boss vamp comes in and hypnotizes kristy
Donald comes in and sez shes not ready
hes gonna eat kristy but Donald interferes and gets shanked by big boss
then big boss and peewee leave as "she's not ready" even though he was about to eat her anyway a few seconds ago
btw this ripped off lord of the rings with Gandalf biting it to save his homies
later kristy tries telling her bimbo buds about the vamps
but they're too bimbo to get it
this is like in the matrix how after neo is freed from it, his whole world is hanged and he cant go back
her bimbo buds get p-ssed at her and ditch her
also they thought she was b0ning the drunk teen
later its night(man this goes from day to night so often) and drunk teen tries to lift her spirits
but she want to quit
and wans to go to da school dance
but the other drunk teen I think is in a photobooth and hears em
and big boss learns and wants to crash the high school dance
later its the dance and kristy's bf reveals he dumped her with a phone message
but drunk teen is there to get he on the rebound
then 80s vampies attack
but they cant come in unless theyre invited
and drunkteen brought bags of stakes
and gives her his leather jacket
and her dress ripps off to a minidress
she goes out and fights em
then runs
peewee sneak attacks her and kicks her while shes down
wait I think this is her home
and vamps have somehow gotten in the dance thing
I think its cuz they are students
vamp drunk teen hassles drunk teen over being with the trendy teens
kristy overcomes and shanks peewee
he takes a while to bite it
then the big bad boss comes in and flirts with her
drunk teen throws acid or holy water in drunk vamp teens face and fries him on a power thing
the power going out gets her out of his control and she rejects him
she pulls a cross but he grabs it and it catches fire
so she uses hairspray to flamethrower his face
she returns to the dance and big boss comes in with a cane sword
he throws kristy aside and she gets a flag pole
they fight
drunk teen intervenes
in the fight a chair breaks and she shanks him with a piece
then kicks it in deeper for double damage
then the sun is up
like seconds later
if they waited a few more seconds he'd bite it anyway
she dances with drunk teen and rides off on his motorcycle as credits roll
oh and the news reports on the vampire attack on da dance
rutger haur was the big bad boss
medic was b j witz
sounds like a p0rn0 name
oh and peewee is still alive and groaning in the basement
the end
that was pretty good
good 90s movie
made a year before power rangers started (in America)
I enjoyed it
simple but well done
for buffy the vampire slayer 2 I want her to be married to the teen she rode off with on the motorcycle at the end and is really pregnant. but the baby is the reincarnation of Donald Sutherland and she automatically knows this by sensing his ki in her. also its the distant future year of 2003 and the pee wee herman vampire has rebuilt his body with cyborg parts and has a processer that lets him walk in the daytime. also having the watcher growing in her body has given buffy ki blast powers and she can fight without making physical contact. its also a run and gun game on sega genesis and snes and you play as buffy blasting cyber vampires with ki attacks. and some vampires have combined other vampires and animals to be big epic mech like bosses. oh and the city is now a cyber city with high tech and robot midgets.