Crocodile Dundee Review

note; I'm from the 80sw too. and I spell like a55

crocodile Dundee

this is my review on crpocodile dunde (1986 )

I never saw it b4 but remember when c d in l a came out in the early 00s

ewwwww

widescreen

this reporter wants to do a story on a guy who got f'd up by a crock and survived

hes Michael j crockdile Dundee

totally not jim crocodile cook from Yugioh gx

then we get credits as a chopper goes through a mad max wasteland

its got paul Hogan and some polish chick

she lands and meets dundees business partner

wtf they drive backwards cars

its like japan or soviet England

they go to a town that's mostly empty

is this a western?

she is gonna pay 2500 $ to see where the croc got him and how he survived

then its night and the Australians are tough guys

partner sez the croc bit off half his leg

so he wacked it and crawled through snake swamps

but this ragged chick laughs at da story

then 1 guy brings in a croc and I think its dead

he looks like Indiana jones meets mad max

its crocodile Dundee

hes a hero to these people and dances with da chick

the croc only scarred his leg with a bite

not bit it off

1 guy hassles c d over being a poacher

so he lays the smack down on his candy a55

then he does the game where u punch the big guy in da gut and te tries not to spill his beer on his head

but CD smooches him like bugs bunny and the guy tries to beat his a55

later its daytime and theyre driving

he don't know when he was born as he was raised by a tribe

he used to have a woman with big b00bs but she ditched him when he was out

then they come across a water buffalo blocking the road

he does some kind of magic touch on its head to make it lay down

does he have Ki training?

once I was at my cousins place and there was a dog.

I didn't say anything, but when I had a bad thought of it, it went mental right after

I think it can sense ki

once I was walking outside and a dog on the other side of a fence barked at me

I cooled my ki and it stopped

later after a boat ride he goes off with the chick alone and is told to be back my Wednesday

and its Monday

he previously didn't know what year it is\

is he a highlander?

he shows the boat where the croc attacked

it was in the rainy season and croc was 18 feet

he tells how it got him in the roll and he was fishing as croc hunting is illegal for some reason

but in the boat are bullets

later its night and she reveals her past

she had a bf who protested everything

and left her to protest

when asked if the

natives should get their land back he sez they don't own it, it owns them

that sounds like a horror movie

slaves to the earth

later she wakes up to gunfire and cars with searchlights going around

theyre shooting kangaroos

and she wants him to stop em for some reason

I guy goes out to p-ss but gets shot at by a kangaroo

but its really CD faking it somehow

then its Tuesday AM

chick talks into a tape recorder about being alone but CD sez hes there

after her taking things the wrong way she goes off on her own

but he has her bring a gun to signal him by shooting in the air

he follows her and she takes off her skirt to show shes in a skimpy one piece like maron from dbz

shes about to go swimming but a croc attacks

but CD takes it out with a big a55 knife to the skull

he comforts her and she asks if its dead

with a huge blade in its head

later he sez how living in the city can be dangerous too

but then goes off when he hears something

this big black tribal guy comes up but is a friend of CD

hes a normal guy with fine English skills

the friend goes off with CD to a tribal gathering

no girls allowed

but she sneaks her way there

but CD sees her

so she leaves

when he gets back she thinks hes telepathic for knowing

but he just knows as a reporter she couldn't resist

later its Wednesday and he talks about being ok with biting it as he believes in God

they go to a place with mineral water so theres no crocs

he gets her weird Australian food and then they go swimming

in the 90s I too wore bathing suits instead of undies

later she suggests him coming to new York

then they kiss

then fly to new Sodom new York

after issues with an escalator, hes in a cab

new York has 7 million people

he thinks they must be friendly as 7 million people all wanna live together

hes friendly to people and thinks the black driver is from a good tribe

as no one in his rube has a car like that

nowadays people would go up the a55 over a comment like that

he gets a big a55 hotel and thinks its much

also he doesn't get tipping

spoiler; never tip

imagine this

thanks for fixing my tooth dentist! heres a tip!

thanks for teaching my kids grade school teacher! heres a tip!

thanks for not giving me a ticket officer. heres a tip!

why pay 2x for the same job?

so she shows him the toilet and he figures out what a bidet is for

I thought those were for after butt secks

he goes out in new York and the streets are full of pushy new Yorkers

and theres traffic up the a55

he climbs a street post and a horse cop gets him home to da hotel

later its night and the chicks boss has them out for dinner

boss seems like kind of an a55

also I think hes been b0ning the chick

and he has a stereotypical view of those kangaroo Mexicans

as Australia is a desert like mexico and has kangaroos

CD has enough and socks him while no ones looking, then blames the booze on his wooziness

later they take a car ride and she's p-ssed at him for punching her butt buddy

and boss is still woozy

I think he hit a pressure point and hes gonna bite it soon

they get off and CD and the cab driver go drinking

in the bad this black guy with a really f'd mouth talks in 80s black guy slang CD never heard

CD uses Australian slang and they bond

this alleged woman flirts with and tries to b0ne CD

but cab guy warns him its a guy

so he pulls a Goku and grabs the crotch

man parts

later da cab is stolen and 2 80s h00kers flirt with CD

1 h00ker recognizes him from the newspaper stories

he doesn't get they wanna b0ne him and their p-m hassles him over it

after he swears in the uncut version CD slugs his a55 out and ca guy with cab drives him home

this seems a lot like mr deeds goe ro town from the 30s by frank capra

but exotic

later hes in the hotel bath tub and cleaning his items

the main chick fakes being room service and reaches her leg in like shes gonna b0ne him

so he covers his parts (which are already covered by subs) with his hat

she gets him a hot dog with the works and its like him giving her austarla food b4

later a homie purse snatches a woman's things and CD nails him in the head with a soup can as he runs

see you in h-ll purse snatcher!

later hes at a party and meets some hag the chick knows

so he pulls a Goku and grabs her crotch to see if shes really a woman

never can tell in new York

or the 80s

1 guy is doing blow and CD thinks its a blocked nose

so he puts the blow in a pot and adds boiling water

chick tells him it was hundreds of $$ of cocainum

he don't know what it is

later its day again and his homies back home call him

he wants to stay a while

later its night and a homie in a Michael Jackson red leather jacket holds em at switchblade point

so he pulls out his huge a55 croc killer and they flee

she sez she feels like jane in tarzan

they kiss

maybe b0ne offscreen

later her dad who's a big wig in the paper wants to meet CD

later its night and he goes to her dads palace/mansion

2 big black dogs come at him but h uses his Ki trick to calm em

dad is happy CD saved his daughter

he gets along with the big wigs and chick takes him aside

she sez one of em is seeing a shrink and he think you should just talk to ur homies

this is like someone from the 1910s meeting someone from the 2010s

common sense vs pc cr-p

at dinner the boss proposes to the chick

we get a bummer moment where the driver gets CD some booze and drops him off in times square

he gives whats left of the booze to a hobo and meets the 80s h00kers

p-mp comes out and gets slugged

then 2 big guys fight CD

but the black guy driver saves him

and uses a car spoiler as a boomerang

and reveals he was in the harlem warlords

which CD thinks is a tribe

the next day CD sez hes gonna look around America

later the chick finds out and goes after him

CD goes to the subway the doorman told him about

she gets held up by a guy trying to b0ne her but she nails him in the parts

at the subway the place is packed with people

so she passes messages back and forth to him

shes not marrying the boss and loves CD

he climbs on top of the people and walks over em

reminds me of earthworm jim with the wizard of oz ep with the flat critter road

they hug

credits

the end

art department; mike leather?!

sounds like a p0rn0 name

so that was pretty good

light and easy going

CD is a good guy and has a good attitude

hes positive and friendly

and bad a55

kinda like cutey honey

or jojo from primeval

or sonic the hedgehog

this was a positive movie with some action and fun

but nowadays they'd whine too much about it triggering some tumbler commie

for crocodile Dundee 2 I want the guy she ditched for CD to kidnap her and send his goons to take him on. So him and the black driver team up to take em out in several levels of beat em up action through new York. its also a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis and super Nintendo and the ex bf is the game bos who injects himself with animal DNA to mutate into a big abomination to fight Dundee.