Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie Review

note; i'm from da 90z. so I grew up with this. but I still wont spell right

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie

this is my review on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie

Its not canon to the tv series but made a lotta cash from power ranger fans

I loved power rangers in the 90s but kinda lost interest after season 2

I got back into it for zeo though amd stayed with it until halfway through dino thunder

after wild force it was all down hill\

Disney did to power rangers what john wayne gacy did to young males

tied em up and b0ned em dead

so the movie starts with the gang skydiving

ulk and skull nearly jump out w/o parachutes

and the gang suggested they go 1st

were they gonna kill em?

I know in season 1 they were minor bullys

and the rangers are teens

but still man

btw; theyre sky diving suits look like their power rangers outfits

turns out; the sky diving is a fund raiser to save an observatory

somehow

also some wiener kid is embarrassed his dad landed in the parking lot on his jump (which we never saw so it didn't happen)

wiener is into tommy as he's the cool one

cuz grade schoolers hanging out with grown teens was normal in da 90s

although at Yugioh tournaments it happens too

looks like they saved the observatory

normally zedd would try to stop that for some reason

oh and theres a comet coming soon

and bulk and skull haven't jumped

so much for them saving the space thing

the planes running outta fuel so they jump

guess the pilot is going to h-ll

then the rangers go roller blading

and Kimberly is in mini shorts and a belly showing top to appeal to 90s teens

after they go through a construction site like in a 16 bit beat em up, bulk and skull land there

when questioned why they're there, they say they are building inspectors or something

and I think the construction guy buys it!!

bulk and skull outsmarted a guy

how low for him

but then the site finds an ancient metal mortal kombat looking thing

so they open it up and a big evil looking claw holding a purple egg comes up

reminds me of that jim Henson movie the dark crystal

1 guy touches it and gets shocked

then the rangers are summoned to the command center and it looks really overdone

like a bad 90s game show

zordon tells em 6000 years ago, ivan ooze ruled the world with evil

and nearly finished his machines to enslave da universe

somehow

but a team of teens sealed him away

but now he might come back

so the rangers gotta go there and seal him away

why didn't zordon just tell em that where they were?

why bring em to the command center to tell em words?

also, 6000 years?

that's when the earth was made according to creation science!!

then its night and the rangers were just doing d-ck on a stick for several hours

lord zedd (looking bad a55) and his crew come in and uses a sleep spell on da guards

btw goldar looks like cr-p

his mouth don't move and he looks plasticer

zedd unseals egg and its just a tub of j-zz

then ivan ooze cgi forms outta it

zedd tells ivan ooze to assassinate zordon

is he gonna do it j fk style or daiana stlye?

also rita has the hots for ivan ooze

sounds like a deviantart image for slime expansion

zedd and his homies book it and ivan smells teenagers

so the rangers have B O?

well they do do a lot of sports

and some of their outfits don't have sleeves

I can imagine one of em stretches and just blasts stink out their pits!!

and its not deodorant he's smelling as they didn't have that 6000 years ago

then the rangers teleport in

which means ooze could smell em b4 they arrived

either hes got super smell or the rangers have strong B O

they find the j-zz tub and a guard stops em

turns out its ivan ooze

the rangers tell him theyre the rangers and he summons ooze puddys

its like if the crow met the beetle borgs!!

ozze sez things are gonna get f'd and he leaves

then the rangers fight the ooze puddys

they mix mild pg kung fu with snappy comments to lighten the mood

and unlike the cr-ppy Disney series; its fun in here

bly punches one and ooze comes out on his fist

is that blood or mashed organ tissue??

despite then not really taking damage the whole fight, they say they're losing

so they morph into their ranger forms

the suits are really overdone compared to the tv series and are made of pleather

plus the morphing is the power coin coming the screen and cuts to then in ranger form

et somehow after morphing the ooze puddies are gone

all they did was hold up the morphers and power up

did they close their eyes when they morphed?!

how'd they miss em?!

meanwhile, ivan ooze slimes his way into the command center and alpha tries a karate chop

of course it fails

why didn't Zordon give alpha some weapons?!

depending on the power chamber to protect you?

I know u need a power coin or zordons consent to come in

but as ooze got in w/o either i'd say a weapon system would help

Zordon talks with honor like optimus prime while ivan ooze is more comedic and sarcastic like rita from season 1

ivans p-ssed cuz zordon sealed him away for so long

huh, like king piccolo on dragon ball

so he starts zapping the place

also alpha is doing a little dance as he was shocked by ooze after the chop

meanwhile, the rangers are going through the site like its an 80s horror movie

hope theyre virgins

although tommy and Kimberly were a couple

I had a dream once where Kimberly was pregnant and fighting puddys in her ranger outfit (but wasn't showing

I was surprised fox kids had a kids show with teen pregnancy in it

later in the dream, Kimberly was at the juice bar and taking birth control pills and Lord Zedd used his lightning on em.

man I got weird dreams

sounds more like a bad mad tv episode

Alpha 5; ay yi yi yi yi! zordon! lord zedd has cast a spell on kimberlys birth control pills! now if she even kisses tommy she's gonna get really pregnant!!

zordon; it is worse than I feared! the pregnancy spell will make her eternally pregnant. Once impregnated she will be pregnant forever!

lord zedd; that's right tommy! move in for the kiss! then that's the end of the pink ranger! you cant fight evil when full of babies!! ahahahaha!

so the rangers fight the ooze guys and some splatter on the wall

reminds me of spider man the animated series with hydroman

imagine if it was a human doing that

wtf billy has a grappling thing like batman

and Kimberly has a whip

sounds like someone in the production has a fetish

tommy uses his sword to fire lasers out of its handles eyes to cut down a metal thing and crush the rest of em

why not just use the blade?

then their powers turn off

good timing

a few seconds earlier and they'd be ooze food

they walk to the command center and its got purple j-zz on it

inside its trashed

and Zordon is outside of his glass tube

and might bite it if he don't get fixed

although in power rangers in space when andross busted Zordon it saved everyone

Zordon sez the power rangers are over and ivan won as their power is busted

alpha sez theres a power that can save him on another planet

and everyone who tried bit it

we need the SDF 1 to do a space fold to get there!

fire up the Protoculture!

man this is like the transformers movie

characters biting it on camera

and talking about it

so alpha finds a way to get enuff power for a one way trip to it

so the rangers transport to the planet while rita and zedd and p-ssed ivan let them get away

btw zedds castle looks more 90s than ever

ivan when he comes in; hi honey! I'm home!

y'see, that works

hes fun and offbeat

but a real threat

I hated lothor in ninja storm for being just a bad joke

its like ivan ooze is adam west batman

and lothor is George Clooney

so rita b--ches at ivan until he zips her lips and not her nips with a ooze attack

ivan takes over and zedd cooks him with a power beam which he shrugs off

ivan seals rita and zedd in a snow globe and goldar and the pig guy join ooze

btw that shows just how bada55 ivan ooze is

rita nearly beat the rangers many times

zedd made them need new zords

and ivan took both down like nothing

so ivan horks up some goo and spits on the floor

just like me lol

the goo turns into tengoo warriors which look like the skeksies from the dark crystal meets the wizard of oz flying monkeys

they then fly through space like birds

yeah that makes sense

rangers get 2 da planit and find a monster skeleton

back in angel grove ivan wants to enslave the parents of the kids to dig up his machines

why??!!

he can blow stuff apart with magic!

just fry the ground until theyre out!

so then he zaps factory cr-p into j-zzing machines to make his mind control slime

r Kimberly and tommy have a moment, the tengoos attack and beat the rangers a55es

until this bikini chick right outta golden axe comes in and drives off the tengoos with noise making sticks

she tells em to go home and attacks tommy when he sez they wont fail

but changes her tune when finding out they know Zordon and ivan ooze is out

meanwhile, ivan is dressed as a wizard and giving kids free slime

cuz kids accepting gifts from creepy strangers who talk in rhyme was normal in da 90s

what if he put drugs in it?

remember those blue star tattoos or w/e?

u put a temporary tattoo on and it gets u hooked on drugs

btw the 90s sure loved slime

oh f its gak!!

remember gak?!

so after walking all day with no food or drink, the rangers get to the ninjetti temple ruins

and across a forest is a place with the power

huh, I just realized that the bikini chick and Kimberly are kinda like tea and mai from Yugioh

so bACk on earth the wieners dad comes home, notices da ooze, opens it, and sticks his hand in it

why?!

it could be acid!

well the ooze mindwipes him and the other parents who touched it to go to ivan

and that same day the news reports on the parents going out

ivan has tv adds for his slime

somehow

so back on the planet its night and bikini chick tells the rangers everyone has an animal spirit in em

is this going furry??

she blows glitter on a fire and the rangers get ninja outfits

they look like nin-nin from la blue girl!

the she tells em what their inner animal is

and all are new

what about their dinozords?

or thunderzords?

none of those were their real animals and the whole time they had these ninja thing as em?!

also adam is bummed that his fersona is a frog

so bikini chick sez its like the one u kiss to get a prince

then kisses him on the forehead

but he's in high school and shes thousands of years old!!

nah, its the 90s

we weren't mental about that back then

although la blue girl took out the midget scenes cuz they thought it looked like miko was b0ning a kid

also she cant go with em to the power thing as she'd rott like Zordon out there

so can she leave the planet?

is this like her prison?

sounds like the thing from zyuranger how the dragon ranger could only spend 30 hours outside of the thing b4 he bites it

then she turns into an own and flies away

wtf?!

that came outta nowhere!

meanwhile, wiener comes home and finds dads out

wait

so he went home, dropped the ooze jar off, and went out to score some chronic or w/e?!

why?!

oh and the rents are digging the ooze machines out

the tengoo return to ivan and he's p-ssed they didn't kill those teens

huh, guess they were virgins

after finding out bikini chick saved the rangers he microwaves the tengoos and the blow

the next day, da rangers go out to the power thing

on urth the wiener finds the rents enslaved by ivan

ivan sez after he gets his machines running, he's gonna wipe out angel grove, then, the universe!!

so he's broly from dbz?

on da planit da rangers go through a boneyard of what looks like dinosaurs

then one looking like monochromon from Digimon comes to life and attacks

it actually looks pretty good

not with cr-ppy cgi

somehow it reminds me of the never ending story

they fight cr-ppily against it and tommy beats it by pulling out its key bone

meanwhile, ivan used his slaves to build his zords in a factory

then ivan sends them to commit mass suicide by jumping off the construction site

that's pretty f'd up for power rangers

wait

is this a cult?!

the wiener hears it and goes to stop it

and ivan pumps his zords with his ooze

wait that sounds wrong

then xaps em to revive em like with the 2000s astroboy movie

meanwhile, da rangers get to da power place

statues cgi to life and attack them

da rangers fight em but the monsters have weapons

so its the liberal way

law abiders don't get weapons and the bad guy do lol

what the rangers otta do is hit em once and block or evade until time runs out and they win by having more health

wait that's super smash bros

rocky kick one into the water and it goes all Alka-Seltzer

tom d Kimberlee crush one under a rock

billy and adam use a trick to get 1 monster to CHOP THE OTHER IN HALF!!

just like fist of the north star

or violence jack

they team up and tommy spins while going right in a straight line with a corkscrew kick and knocks the last one into the wall

and he blows apart

if this were with humans it would get a hard R rating

imagine a R rated power rangers

with b0ning and swearing and blood and gore and puddies eating eachother

human puddies!!

the place opens up and theres a meal plate with their inner animals on it

how did it know they would have those animals?

was it destiny?!

did they need the right animals to beat the boss?!

so outta the image comes 90s cgi glowy animals that fuse with the rangers and gives em new powers

yet they still have the same costumes

I mean yeah going from dinozords to thunderzords didn't give em new costumes

but these are new powers!

thy teleport home and ivan oozes zords are attacking the city

and they look like cr-ppy sega cd cgi

I feel like this should be in wild woody

even ecco the dolphin looked better than this

I know they had like under a year to do it and its the early 90s

but get some leather and latex and have guys in costumes!

Godzilla and Gamera did it!

the news sez the ooze zords are bustin angel grove worse than ever

yet I think rita and zed did worse

plus the oozords aint really doing that much damage

one stepped on a car

that's it

so at night ivan smells the rangers and they show up

well they aint showered in like 2 days min

the towns a bit more busted and the oozords show up

the angers summon their zords

btw i gotta say

each season the zords get worse

season 1 had dinosaurs that all fused into Ultrazord who fired endless cannons to nail the baddy

season 2 had legendary creatures who couldn't have all 6 together and the Ultrazord just stacked the zords and sat on the baddy

season 3 is real animals like a frog and a crane that needed Titanus to come back to have an Ultrazord

season 4 was out of place artifacts that no kid knew about

and season 5 was freekin cars!!

good thing power rangers in space had good writing

plus space items were cool in da 90s

btw in this movie the zords are cr-ppy playstation 1 cgi

they get in the zords by flying (or is it jetting?) and the zords are just flying in the air

what is this? g1 transformers?!

meanwhile, the kids are having a g rated party with the gak and wiener gives a speech about ivan being bad

and if they don't trust him, their rents are gonna bite it

sounds like global warming

give me cash or the whole planet is gonna bite it!

so the rangers use the individual Zords to fight the oozords

meanwhile, the party kids take a monorail to save the rents

oh and bulk and skull are with grade schoolers at a party

anything for free pizza and pop huh?

tommy comes back from his zord being hit and him doing nothing for a few mins to recover his Zords HP and blows apart 1 oozord

ivan cgi's himself into slime expansion-ing the remaining oozord and fusing with it

sounds pretty fetish to me

the Zords combine to the ninja megazord

but tommy stays behind to use his zord to be a makeshift track for the monorail that ivan oozord stepped on

they also have the shogun megazords sword and ivan uses a space needle as a staff

the space needle snaps the power sword somehow and ivan chucks them through a building

tommy joins his falcon zord to the ninjazord and they fly into space

so ivan follows on metal bug wings that just stay still

meanwhile the kids get to the site and wiener gets bulk and skull to work with him to save em

the oter kids hold em back

if u snap their legs they cant walk off the cliff

in space billy has a plan to stop ivan with orions comet

is this related to the lights of orion?

wiener kid has bulk and skull turn on a firehose and he blasts the ooze off the parents

that's all it takes?!

if it rained would his ooze stop?

in space the ninjazord lures oozord to the comet path and ooze tackles and holds em

Aisha uses a knee to oozes crotch to knock him away

how'd they know ivan in his zord mode had parts?

how does he have parts?!!?

comet blows oozord apart and the slaves are freed

so the water had no effect?

his plan was to hose em off for no reason?!

btw in under 2 days, the slaves excavated and assembled 2 giant robots

shows how much work you can get done w/o unions in the way

the rents reunite with their kids and everyones happy

the rangers return to the command center and zordons bit it

tommy remembers that with the great power, all things are possible

Sounds a lot like a Bible quote

so the gold saints channel their cosmos and fix everything

like how Zordon used his power to reenergize tommy green ranger powers

wtf Zordon has fangs

with Zordon unkilled and everything fixed the rangers have dinner with the kids

wiener reunites with tommy and Kimberly sez hes a hero for saving da rents

they say he could be a ranger and he sez its impossible

but tommy sez nothing is

wiener wants to be the silver or gold ranger

then theres fireworks thanking the rangers to 80s music

isn't that too soon?

the oozords just busted the city

actually the citys often under attack

fireworks might freak em out!!

the end

oh and after the credits zedd and rita return and are p-ssed at goldar and pig a55 joining ivan to save themselves

see u in h-ll piggy!

that was good

I liked it

good clean 90s fun

a bit darker than the show

but well made and enjoyable

even with the cr-ppy cgi

its got a so bad its good charm

for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie 2 I want ivan ooze to reincarnate himself with the ooze he left on earth to brainwash the parents and return. he unleashes an al out attack and busts the ninja Zords. then lord zedd comes in saying they hate ivan ooze more than the rangers and give them the zeddzords to fight ivan ooze. also zedd and rita become rangers for this one time and zedd uses serpentera and rita uses a remastered cyclopsis and they combine with the zeddzords to form an Ultrazord that can stand up to ivan ooze in his ultra mode. also Zordon gives zedd the zeo crystal to power serpentera enough to face ivan ooze without running out. its also an up to 4 player beat em up on sega enesis and snes and arari jaguar and Panasonic 3do with players as the rangers or zedd and rita and they fight tengoo and ooze puddys and ivans slime avatars.