Friday, June 29, 2018

Alice Sweet Alice Review

note; my keyboards f ing out. there thypoes
aclie wswilr alice
this is my review on alice sweet alice from 76
its got brooke shields from the blue lagoon in its this is her 1st film
its also called communion in some vhs tapes
it starts with creepy music and someone whispering the rosary fast
then its a church and this fa comes to see the priest
this old Italian b--ch cleaning da floor gets p-ssed at a gurl wearing a creepy a55 mask and walking on the floor she just cleaned
priest gives brooke (who's like 8 or w/e) a rosary
later brooke runs to mom saying someone took her doll and is gonna break it
mom has cr-p to do as brooke chases after ailce to creepy music
alice runs to an empty building and brooke followzs
brooke jumps out in a creepy a55 mask and locks brooke in a room
only to throe her out And say not to tell or she wont get her doll
I think alice was ritual sacrificing the doll b4
alice b--ches out and wears brookes veil for her communion and throws it on the ground in a fit
what a b--ch
meanwhile this fat a55 milky white italiano feeds his cats
he looks like gokumon from violence jack
fata55 wants alice to bring him some food but she sez no
so he sez "what a b--ch" after she leaves
he's not wrong
later its communion day and alice cant be found
probably out with a buncha big ugly homies
just like all those 13 year old 5kanks on maury
then this raincoat and mask wearing killer takes out brooke
the other kids get communion and the priest speaks italiano or latin or w/e
when I go to church they spoke English
da killer puts brooke in a box and takes her rosary
then cooks her with a candle
alice somes in and wants communion
btw ur supposed to get confession b4 communion if u sinned
then they find whats left of brooke
but we don't see it
and alice b--ches out over not getting communion
and aclice is wearing brookes veil
later they have a service for her
and cops investigating wanna now where alice was
theres a b--chy aunt who keeps trying to force her will on others and is bossy
hope she gets chopped up
alice and her chubby cousin and male cousin give a cake to fata55
I think he may be pedo
not that theres anything wrong with that
ones orientation is their own issue
this is the 21st century
it doesn't matter who u love
its natural
animals are that way too
so the fam talks about how alice might be the killer
da dad goes to da cops and they wanna talk to alice
they grill dad like a dog on a Korean bbq
so he books it
cops say the school wants alice to see a shrink
but da rents don't think its needed
a cop checks er files and sez shes nuts
dad calls the priest but the b--chy italiano wont let him talk
eventually priest gets to talk to him and the b--chy italiano listens in
priest sez da cops got alices records and hes going out
later alice drops a milk thing and it breaks
and her b--chy aunt yells at her and nearly hits her
this whole family is f'd
makes me glad i'm not italiano
I have homies who are italiano
but they get p-ssed a lot
usually the women
alice is gonna go back to school soon
after more b--ching alice takes the rent check to the fata55
she goes in and sh-ts on him over his cr-ppy place
fata55 sez he knows what she did at church
she crunches check up and fata55 grabs her
and sez brooke will come back for her cr-p alice has downstairs
and if she calls da cops he'd show them her ritual room
then he tries to make out with alice
but she grabs his cat and throws it on da ground
normally I don't care for cats
but this chick is kind of a b--ch
also the cat did nothing to her
fata55 sez she killed da cat and he'd get even
later dad and priest talk about alice doing bad and making it look like an accident
in her ritual room, she gets a mask and has a jar of bugs
in a raincoat and mask, this killer stabs up b--chy aunts legs on da stairs
send her to h-ll!! b--ch!
b4 killer can finish her, fata55 comes in and killer runs instead of one more jab
you coudve still iced her
b--chy aunt crawls ootside and da cops take her to the hospital to be put to sleep or w/e
I da empty building, the dad I think (or maybe cop. I don't know) comes in with a shovel and is gonna ice whoever he finds
he opens a door and sees alice hiding freaking out saying she saw brooke who wants her doll
mom talks 2 priest about b--chy aunt saying it was alice who shanked her
then sees b--chy aunt and sez not to say it was alice
cop comes in and wants everyone else t gtfo
then her husband comes in and feels for her
now I dont want her iced as someone good cares for her
she may be a b--ch but her husband did nothing wrong
I wouldnt want him to suffer from her getting microwaved
b--chy aunt goes all b--chy and mom sez she hated her as aunt knew mom was pregnant when she got married and hated alice
I should note that being conceived in holy marriage is a forme of being blessed
marriage isn't some contract
its a holy ritual that involves blessings
and b0ning outside of it usually ends bad
I know a few friends who were illegitimate
they s-ck
they got all kinds of cr-ppy issues
no wonder alice turned so bad
so b--chy aunt sez it was alice who chopped her up and mom goes b--chy
btw I think the empty building I keep mentioning is just da basement
but I might be wrong
latter alice is given a lie detector test
it sez she didn't stab her aunt
but she lies about who stabbed b--chy aunt
then sez it was brooke and its true
alice alice
in her palace
made out of a giant phallllis!
her curtains are made of silk
in her sink s homo milk
after da test a cop sez when he put the lie detector on her she acted like she wanted him to feel her up
what a 5kank!
then alice f'd the lie detector machine
later priest, italiano b--ch and a geezer have dinner
cops stop by and priest gets him a list
later I think alice is in da nut house and a chick reads her stats
she meets da rents and sez its not good for alice to go home
and alice is having her pereod
rents meet alice and alice gets b--chy over how they left her in da nut house
mom gives alice brookes doll and brooke and her b--ch for a while
then they hug
later rents get a call from someone on da phone breathing
mom thinks its b--chy aunt
and wont talk to her until she recants seeing alice cut her feet up
what a b--ch
later dad gets a call from a woman who sez she ran away and needs him
he goes to see her and sees the killer
he chases her as every movie needs a chase scene and is in this building
as he goes up stairs, killer shanks him and vanishes
he goes after her and killer kills him with some item I cant really see
killer then tries rolling him out the window after tying him up
oh and hes not dead
then killer reveals its really italiano b--ch who hates him for b0ning some 5kank
he bites the rosary from brooke and she tries beating it out of his mouth with a brick (is that wat she hit him with?)
it don't work and she pushes his a55 out a window
I think she called dad pretending to be the alice
but they called her angela
i'm confused
later killer returns home to church and priest advises the new kids on their 1st confession
I like going to confession as it feels good to get the sin out
I feel unburdened and lighter afterward
like your teeth after the dentist
so killer hides in the confession place to change out of her killer clothes
priest finds someones in there and she sez she wants to confess
she goes on but doesn't tell about all the killings
later mom comes by church to ask where dad is
killer sez she don't now where he is and invites her in
it looks like shes gonna ice her
Italiano b--ch goes on about how she thinks God sent St. Michael to ice her daughter on her 1st communion
she thinks children get iced for their rents sins
well... after joe kennedy did all dat evil, then his sons joe, john and bob got iced, I can see that line of thought
heres something I wrote that's based on it
j fk's sister was a bit slow.
so rather than let her fall in love and have kids like normal people
her dad joe had her lobotomy!
and it made her a vegetable!!
mom; oh joe! what did you do to our daughter!?
joe; stop your crying! its not like shes human or anything!
mom; this is worse than if you had her put to sleep like the other one!
joe; if thats how you feel, then...  (raises his big irish fist and busts open his daughters head like a tomato!! )
joe; there! happy yet?!
mom; oh joe! your a monster! i only hope our sons dont inherit your evil!
Marilyn Monroe; too late!
the sad this is, that's actually pretty close to what happened
so da cops find dad and on him they find the rosary
oh angela was his niece
was she the fat one?
so priest and mom go to get alice
and they don't tell alice he bit it
killer aka italiano b--ch is at home and creepy music plays and she gets her mask and coat and knife and goes out
alice in mask and coat puts a jar of bugs on sleeping fata55's gut
then goes out with mom
killer knocks on fata55's door to ice him but he wakes up and finds the bugs on him
he goes after killer and pulls off her mask
its the italiano b--ch
she knifes him in his enormous gut and books it
da cop breaks in the building as fata55 plows through his cr-p on the floor as he struggles to get away from the killer who left
she gets away
later its church and she comes in wearing the yellow coat
btw is she a midget or something?
shes tall enough to be mistaken for a tween
da cops are outside da church and priest don't want snipers
he wants to handel it
at communion killer pushes the fat chick away and takes her place next to alice
isn't communion done where the people get up and come to the front?
they skip giving it to alice and killer
killer freaks out saying "but u give it to dat wh0re!!"
that's nice to say in church
then she shanks the priest in a full church during mass
that's a 1st class ticket straight to h-ll
she hugs him as he pours blood on her
then alce walks away slowly as everyone goes after the killer
and shes got killers bag with a knife in it
the end
that was pretty good
good twist of keeping us not sure it was the kid
then the old lady being the killer
Friday the 13th ripped dat off btw
and the butcher knife was used in Halloween
man this inspired a lot of movies
I like italianoes
the are good friends
but I wouldn't wanna be one
this was a well done film though
good effects
good acting
could use more gore
like if we saw his teeth and lips bust when hit by da brick
or when brooke cooked
but I liked it
its set in 61 according to wikipedea
back before the hippies mo lested culture and turned everything degenerate
for alice sweet alice 2 I want the fat a55 to be recovering from getting stabbed as it only hit flab. also alice is getting more into killing people as she saw the killer in the 1st movie do it and thought it looked cool. but fat a55 wants revenge on alice for killing his cat. so as he recovers he starts doing rituals to mind link with cats and control them as his army of the night and sends them to ice people. but alice is also into rituals and gets demon powers from them and gets better at killing. also its a 16 bit sega genesis/super Nintendo/Atari jaguar game where you play as either alice taking out cats trying to get fat a55, or a swarm of cats controlled by fat a55 trying to do missions to train to take out alice. maybe alice a throw bugs she controls as a long range attack

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