Alice Sweet Alice Review

note; my keyboards f ing out. there thypoes

aclie wswilr alice

this is my review on alice sweet alice from 76

its got brooke shields from the blue lagoon in its this is her 1st film

its also called communion in some vhs tapes

it starts with creepy music and someone whispering the rosary fast

then its a church and this fa comes to see the priest

this old Italian b--ch cleaning da floor gets p-ssed at a gurl wearing a creepy a55 mask and walking on the floor she just cleaned

priest gives brooke (who's like 8 or w/e) a rosary

later brooke runs to mom saying someone took her doll and is gonna break it

mom has cr-p to do as brooke chases after ailce to creepy music

alice runs to an empty building and brooke followzs

brooke jumps out in a creepy a55 mask and locks brooke in a room

only to throe her out And say not to tell or she wont get her doll

I think alice was ritual sacrificing the doll b4

alice b--ches out and wears brookes veil for her communion and throws it on the ground in a fit

what a b--ch

meanwhile this fat a55 milky white italiano feeds his cats

he looks like gokumon from violence jack

fata55 wants alice to bring him some food but she sez no

so he sez "what a b--ch" after she leaves

he's not wrong

later its communion day and alice cant be found

probably out with a buncha big ugly homies

IN BED!!

just like all those 13 year old 5kanks on maury

then this raincoat and mask wearing killer takes out brooke

the other kids get communion and the priest speaks italiano or latin or w/e

when I go to church they spoke English

da killer puts brooke in a box and takes her rosary

then cooks her with a candle

alice somes in and wants communion

btw ur supposed to get confession b4 communion if u sinned

then they find whats left of brooke

but we don't see it

and alice b--ches out over not getting communion

and aclice is wearing brookes veil

later they have a service for her

and cops investigating wanna now where alice was

theres a b--chy aunt who keeps trying to force her will on others and is bossy

hope she gets chopped up

alice and her chubby cousin and male cousin give a cake to fata55

I think he may be pedo

not that theres anything wrong with that

ones orientation is their own issue

this is the 21st century

it doesn't matter who u love

its natural

animals are that way too

ect

so the fam talks about how alice might be the killer

da dad goes to da cops and they wanna talk to alice

they grill dad like a dog on a Korean bbq

so he books it

cops say the school wants alice to see a shrink

but da rents don't think its needed

a cop checks er files and sez shes nuts

dad calls the priest but the b--chy italiano wont let him talk

eventually priest gets to talk to him and the b--chy italiano listens in

priest sez da cops got alices records and hes going out

later alice drops a milk thing and it breaks

and her b--chy aunt yells at her and nearly hits her

this whole family is f'd

makes me glad i'm not italiano

I have homies who are italiano

but they get p-ssed a lot

usually the women

alice is gonna go back to school soon

after more b--ching alice takes the rent check to the fata55

she goes in and sh-ts on him over his cr-ppy place

fata55 sez he knows what she did at church

she crunches check up and fata55 grabs her

and sez brooke will come back for her cr-p alice has downstairs

and if she calls da cops he'd show them her ritual room

then he tries to make out with alice

but she grabs his cat and throws it on da ground

normally I don't care for cats

but this chick is kind of a b--ch

also the cat did nothing to her

fata55 sez she killed da cat and he'd get even

later dad and priest talk about alice doing bad and making it look like an accident

in her ritual room, she gets a mask and has a jar of bugs

in a raincoat and mask, this killer stabs up b--chy aunts legs on da stairs

send her to h-ll!! b--ch!

b4 killer can finish her, fata55 comes in and killer runs instead of one more jab

you coudve still iced her

b--chy aunt crawls ootside and da cops take her to the hospital to be put to sleep or w/e

I da empty building, the dad I think (or maybe cop. I don't know) comes in with a shovel and is gonna ice whoever he finds

he opens a door and sees alice hiding freaking out saying she saw brooke who wants her doll

mom talks 2 priest about b--chy aunt saying it was alice who shanked her

then sees b--chy aunt and sez not to say it was alice

cop comes in and wants everyone else t gtfo

then her husband comes in and feels for her

now I dont want her iced as someone good cares for her

she may be a b--ch but her husband did nothing wrong

I wouldnt want him to suffer from her getting microwaved

b--chy aunt goes all b--chy and mom sez she hated her as aunt knew mom was pregnant when she got married and hated alice

I should note that being conceived in holy marriage is a forme of being blessed

marriage isn't some contract

its a holy ritual that involves blessings

and b0ning outside of it usually ends bad

I know a few friends who were illegitimate

they s-ck

they got all kinds of cr-ppy issues

no wonder alice turned so bad

so b--chy aunt sez it was alice who chopped her up and mom goes b--chy

btw I think the empty building I keep mentioning is just da basement

but I might be wrong

latter alice is given a lie detector test

it sez she didn't stab her aunt

but she lies about who stabbed b--chy aunt

then sez it was brooke and its true

alice alice

in her palace

made out of a giant phallllis!

her curtains are made of silk

in her sink s homo milk

after da test a cop sez when he put the lie detector on her she acted like she wanted him to feel her up

what a 5kank!

then alice f'd the lie detector machine

later priest, italiano b--ch and a geezer have dinner

cops stop by and priest gets him a list

later I think alice is in da nut house and a chick reads her stats

she meets da rents and sez its not good for alice to go home

and alice is having her pereod

gross

rents meet alice and alice gets b--chy over how they left her in da nut house

mom gives alice brookes doll and brooke and her b--ch for a while

then they hug

later rents get a call from someone on da phone breathing

mom thinks its b--chy aunt

and wont talk to her until she recants seeing alice cut her feet up

what a b--ch

later dad gets a call from a woman who sez she ran away and needs him

he goes to see her and sees the killer

he chases her as every movie needs a chase scene and is in this building

as he goes up stairs, killer shanks him and vanishes

he goes after her and killer kills him with some item I cant really see

killer then tries rolling him out the window after tying him up

oh and hes not dead

then killer reveals its really italiano b--ch who hates him for b0ning some 5kank

he bites the rosary from brooke and she tries beating it out of his mouth with a brick (is that wat she hit him with?)

it don't work and she pushes his a55 out a window

I think she called dad pretending to be the alice

but they called her angela

i'm confused

later killer returns home to church and priest advises the new kids on their 1st confession

I like going to confession as it feels good to get the sin out

I feel unburdened and lighter afterward

like your teeth after the dentist

so killer hides in the confession place to change out of her killer clothes

priest finds someones in there and she sez she wants to confess

she goes on but doesn't tell about all the killings

later mom comes by church to ask where dad is

killer sez she don't now where he is and invites her in

it looks like shes gonna ice her

Italiano b--ch goes on about how she thinks God sent St. Michael to ice her daughter on her 1st communion

she thinks children get iced for their rents sins

well... after joe kennedy did all dat evil, then his sons joe, john and bob got iced, I can see that line of thought

heres something I wrote that's based on it

j fk's sister was a bit slow.

so rather than let her fall in love and have kids like normal people

her dad joe had her lobotomy!

and it made her a vegetable!!

mom; oh joe! what did you do to our daughter!?

joe; stop your crying! its not like shes human or anything!

mom; this is worse than if you had her put to sleep like the other one!

joe; if thats how you feel, then...  (raises his big irish fist and busts open his daughters head like a tomato!! )

joe; there! happy yet?!

mom; oh joe! your a monster! i only hope our sons dont inherit your evil!

Marilyn Monroe; too late!

the sad this is, that's actually pretty close to what happened

so da cops find dad and on him they find the rosary

oh angela was his niece

was she the fat one?

so priest and mom go to get alice

and they don't tell alice he bit it

killer aka italiano b--ch is at home and creepy music plays and she gets her mask and coat and knife and goes out

alice in mask and coat puts a jar of bugs on sleeping fata55's gut

then goes out with mom

killer knocks on fata55's door to ice him but he wakes up and finds the bugs on him

he goes after killer and pulls off her mask

its the italiano b--ch

she knifes him in his enormous gut and books it

da cop breaks in the building as fata55 plows through his cr-p on the floor as he struggles to get away from the killer who left

she gets away

later its church and she comes in wearing the yellow coat

btw is she a midget or something?

shes tall enough to be mistaken for a tween

da cops are outside da church and priest don't want snipers

he wants to handel it

at communion killer pushes the fat chick away and takes her place next to alice

isn't communion done where the people get up and come to the front?

they skip giving it to alice and killer

killer freaks out saying "but u give it to dat wh0re!!"

that's nice to say in church

not!!

then she shanks the priest in a full church during mass

that's a 1st class ticket straight to h-ll

she hugs him as he pours blood on her

then alce walks away slowly as everyone goes after the killer

and shes got killers bag with a knife in it

the end

that was pretty good

good twist of keeping us not sure it was the kid

then the old lady being the killer

Friday the 13th ripped dat off btw

and the butcher knife was used in Halloween

man this inspired a lot of movies

I like italianoes

the are good friends

but I wouldn't wanna be one

this was a well done film though

good effects

good acting

could use more gore

like if we saw his teeth and lips bust when hit by da brick

or when brooke cooked

but I liked it

its set in 61 according to wikipedea

back before the hippies mo lested culture and turned everything degenerate

for alice sweet alice 2 I want the fat a55 to be recovering from getting stabbed as it only hit flab. also alice is getting more into killing people as she saw the killer in the 1st movie do it and thought it looked cool. but fat a55 wants revenge on alice for killing his cat. so as he recovers he starts doing rituals to mind link with cats and control them as his army of the night and sends them to ice people. but alice is also into rituals and gets demon powers from them and gets better at killing. also its a 16 bit sega genesis/super Nintendo/Atari jaguar game where you play as either alice taking out cats trying to get fat a55, or a swarm of cats controlled by fat a55 trying to do missions to train to take out alice. maybe alice a throw bugs she controls as a long range attack