Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Digimon The Movie Review

note; I spell 90s style... homie
Digimon the movie
this is my review on Digimon the movie
I loved Digimon as a kid
fox kids was my childhood
I saw this in theatres for my brothers birthday
as a kid I liked both pokemon and digoimon
but when both were on at the same time I watched pokemon while my bros watched Digimon on the basement tv
I even taped fox kids commercials for that weeks Saturday am episode
I got the pattern down where a set break on a set show would start the Digimon add
now original pokemon was awesome
but as the shows went on, Digimon stayed good longer
the art and animation in pokemon ultra sun and moon s-cked!
it looks like the cr-ppy thundercats roar style!
not that Digimon was perfect
season 3 was kinda emo and bummer
plus the characters wernt as likable
takato was like a worse Yuma from Yugioh zexal
henry was a wiener
and rika was a b--ch
its like almost evangelion bad
I liked season 4 though
at least there the kids did something besides cheerleading the monsters
so the movie starts with an angela anaconda thing of those kids going to see the Digimon movie
I haven't seen this show in years
btw I never noticed that angela anaconda sounds like a hermaphrodite p0rn0 actor name
I like how the bad guy is French
just like in real life
so this thing has nothing to do with the story and its just kids style ids being kids
modern people hate it but they refuse to admit they were just like that back then
so after imaginary fights, they realize they went to the wrong theatre and spill out as they don't wanna watch French cr-p
then the movie actually starts with the digirap
its cheesy but fitting
then kari narrates how theres a kid named willis (Obrien? ) who had 2 Digimon and no friends
8 years ago, in 1994ish when they were kids a digiegg came out of their computer
the next day it hatches and goes nuts
then they hum the Digimon theme
oh and kari communicates in whistle blasts as a kid
just like in star wars with the garbage can robot
sora calls to say mimi told her tai barfed in her hat
but the phone cuts out as the Digimon digivolved and it f's with the electronics
they feed it cat food and it fights the cat
like a dog fight but not intentional
later it smooches both kari and tai as thanks
also it keeps cr-pping
at night it digivolves again andits pretty big
then jumps out with kari on its back and f'd up the town
tai goes after them but the sky opens up and parrotmon comes out
the hero kids of season 1 see the monsters outside which decides their destiny to save the digital world
their Digimon picks a fight with parotmon and digivolves to fight it
but gets beat
so tai uses kari's whistle to revive it somehow
and at full blast right next to kari's ear
their Digimon takes out parrotmon in 1 shot and both vanish
and willis met his Digimon that same night
holy cr-p we're 20 mins in
that felt like nothing
then its 1999ish and after season 1
izzy notices a virus is f ing the net
meanwhile, tai is dating sora and has issues
he sends her an email but accidentally sez "love" instead of "from"
kari is going to her homie's birthday and got her a pink power ranger
which would be the light speed rescue pink if i'm counting the years  right
kari sent it
but the email doesnt make it
after a montage saying where the rest of the season 1 cast is set to the song "its been one week since you" ect
izzy goes to tai's place saying a digiegg infected with a viris is gonna f things up
and willis in Colorado told him of it
then the egg digivolves and eats date which f's up supermarket computers
izzy drinks one of tai's moms shakes and him and tai use tais dads computer
he virus digivolved again and tai's Digimon contacts him
as do the rest of the season 1 Digimon
I gotta say the music in here is great
haim saban and shuki levy did great work together
made the 90s amazing
tai cals the other digidestined but they're all out
and izzy eats more of tais moms cr-p
tai gets sora but she don't wanna talk to him
wtf the cats name is miko
like miko mido from la blue girl
izzy and tai's Digimon get on da net and attack the viris
but it don't work so they Digivolve
and kids all over da world see the fight
but the virus digivolves and is too much for em
he skipped the champion level and went to ultimate
so the good guys digivolve but get beat down
and virus escapes
willis and others email izzy and viruis gets to the phone company to cut the phone connection
1st; how'd he know what phone company provides tai's web?
2nd; remember in da 90s how da net was on phone lines?
so tai calls anyway but it don't work
also the virus calls him
totally not like a horror movie
and he calls every phone in the world trying to find someone
and tais net goes out
the phone company set up a system to call to send messages then call again to get messages
like voice email
he calls matt and tk and everyone else
sora comes over but goes home at the last minute b4 knocking
and mimi is in Hawaii
its like how after high school u kinda fall away from ur high school homies
except like 2
izzy gets a satellite uplink to use a military satellite to get internet
and matt replies saying him and tk are able to connect
but they need a computer to get internet
but their possibly 1800s born grandma (as its japan in da 90s) don't have 1
so they go to a barber place as its the only computer in town
oh and viris is in America now
after a montage of him showing up on screens (which makes no sense as you cant see out of screens w/o a webcam) to 90s music, hes in new York
and heading for willis
they upload tk's and matts Digimon to the net and the 4 Digimon go to fight the viris
matts and tais warp digivolve to their mega forms
but the virus goes to its mega level too
and takes out tk and izzys Digimon
now we wont see Herculeskabuterimon til the 2010s movies
also tais digimon's arm blades get busted off despite being made of chromedigizoid
oh and izzu gets the runs from eating tai's moms cr-ppy food
then tai and matts Digimon slow and tai hits the computer and it freezes
izzy comes back and its revealed sora hates tai cuz he got her a hairpin for her b day but she thought he didn't like her hair as is and gets mental
this movie totally gets women
taking things the wrong way and going mental over it
when the computer reboots the fights over and they lost
izy reads emails from kids b--ching about the hero Digimon getting beat
even though they should have no idea about the levels they mention or anything else about them
then the viris starts multiplying
and theres a 10 min timer until 2 nukes the virus launched hit
2 nukes were launched at the same time from america
1 headed for japan
1 for Colorado
but will hit at the same time???
and in 10 mins??
that don't add up
and the virus is blocking counters to the nukes
but if they beat the original viris Digimon it will stop the rest
and the hero Digimon wanna fight
but emails sent to them slow them down
how do you send an email to a monster on the web?
don't you need an address to send it to?
also matts Digimon runs across the air like kilala in Inuyasha
while tais just flies
they get to the boss room and theres over a million of the viris clones
they all open fire (yet never hit eachother) and more emails slow em more
for some reason, the virus stops firing and tai and matt's bond with their Digimon lets em go digital enter the internet
good music to them reuniting
really moving
they use the power of the emails to power up and dna digivolve (fusion) together into omnimon
I should point out this aired in America b4 the season 2 eps with dna digivolving
so this was a big deal
omnimon wipes out the swarm of virus clones
I like how metalgarurumon's arm is a cannon and wargreymons arm is a blade
as that's the weapons they use
theres one virus left and 1 minute to go
but hes too fast
so izzy forwards the emails to virus to slow him
yeah, that makes sense
omnimon splits his head with his wargreymon sword and stops the clock with 0.01 seconds left
the nukes fall harmlessly with no international incident
meanwhile, willis in America is ok with his Digimon
and something happens
oh and sora got hs email
then its the then present of 2002
and the season 2 cast is here
tk and kari are in soviet new York and willis and his evil Digimon are there
his evil Digimon wants him to go back and fights his good one
they fight to bada55 music
kari and tk arrive and the evil Digimon books it
then willis goes
tks digimon follows him and hears hes going to Colorado
kari sends the season 2 guys to go to America
willis walks along the road alone as this was the 90s and sez evil dgimon makes those near him vanish
then the evil Digimon attacks tk and kari on a train
but then books it
season 2 cast uses yoleis uncles connections to get to America cheap
they then hitch hike abord a truck
and in there is willis
and willis flirts with yolei and likes kari
willis orders a pizza and uses it to hitch a ride with the delivery man
but the car leaves w/o davis and willis
then the evil Digimon arrives
davis armor digivolves his Digimon and they fight
oh and the evil Digimon uses the viris digimons attack
something season 3 later did with leomons attack
Willis's good Digimon digivolves and beats on the evil Digimon,who then books it
davis armor digivolves his digomin into its other form (which had debuted on fox kids around right before this movie came out) and get to the other season 2 guys
willis reveals he made the evil Digimon and it might've got rid of tk and kari
then walks for hours with davis behind him
then tells davis his digiegg hatched into 2 Digimon and was his 1st friend
so he made a new digiegg as a new one
but a virus infected it and caused the 2nd act of this film
then the virus followed him and got one of his Digimon and slowly turned it
btw I don't thing a digiegg can make 2 Digimon
oh and pokemon ripped off them coming from eggs
davis crys at how sad the story is
then instantly recovers
they become friends
later the evil Digimon attacks again
then digivolves
the good Digimon armor digivolve and I think that's cody and yoleis digimons only lines so far
then they fight to awesome music
but hes ultimate and armor is champion-ish
evil Digimon books it but comes right back at mega level and de-digivolves them
then juggles em
the rookie levels heroes fight but cant handle a mega w/o power option cards
wtf davis and Willis's Digimon knock him back
but then get nearly eaten alive
then kari and tks Digimon arrive and bust him up
but he reforms from the virus healing him
then everyone starts deaging
by going back he meant go back before the virus got him
tk and kari's Digimon digivolve to their mega forms to release the golden digieggs
btw why does tk's Digimon warpdigivolve from champion to mega while the other times going there lie leomon and the virus one in this films 2md act, only count as regular digivolve?
tk and kari's Digimon get beat but davis and willis golden armor digivolve and bust up the bad guy
but he recovers
so they go inside him and the inner self of the bad guy tells them to attack him
to destroy the virus
they do it and hes purified
then he bites it as the viris cant heal him
we get a sad moment but Digimon can reincarnate themselves as digieggs
back in newyork willis sez bye and smooches kari and yolei w/o consent then runs off
then finds a digiegg of his Digimon that bit it
then it shows it grown again dancing to all star by
smash mouth from shrek
then credits to 90s music
a lot of Robotech actors in this
the end
that was great
but imma Digimon fan so this film was made for me
its good late 90s fun and has great music and fun
its kind of like if pokemon is Mario, Digimon is sonic
better music often and more edge
not as toned down
characters bite it in Digimon often
well, kinda
in pokemon maybe in movies or pokenon hunter j
but in Digimon they ice the bad guys
in pokemon they beat of their pets and the bad guys run away
pokemon had better games though
but if you grew up with Digimon, this movie is for you
if not, you wont get it
also in the 90s, the uninformed thought pokemon and Digimon were the same thing as both are Japanese kids and monster shows
thats like saying pearl harbor and gone with the wind are the same movie as both are about American wars
or Ivanhoe and the three musketeers are the same as both are historical things from Europe
for Digimon the movie 2 I want the creator of the virus that infected the Digimon to be revealed to be some malcontent who knew of the digital world and cuz she didn't get a Digimon, tried to wipe it out. also she made new Digimon based on virus's she made based on historical figures from the 1800s but they are evil and not friends and she attacks. and its up to the season 2 cast set after the end of season 2 to take her on. also she dresses in a weird SM pleather outfit and has a whip that controls her virus slaves. and its a Gameboy advance game where you play as one of the main season 1 or 2 cast Digimon and fight through her enslaved Digimon and ice em to free em.

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