Sunday, July 15, 2018

Igby Goes Down Review

note; I look like this kids more famous bro in da 90s, but I spell like a55
igby goes down
this is my review on igby goes down
I saw some of it long ago but don't recall much
the director went on to do a few zack effron movies
its got Kieran culkin the kid brother of the home alone kid
Malcom from Jurassic park
bill Pullman from spaceballs
and that malcontent susan Sarandon from the adam sandler comedy that's my boy
huh, this was inspired by the catcher in the rye
I actually read that because ghost in the shell stand alone complex referenced it a lot
it was kinda emo
the main guy is a malcontent loser who whines too much
it was never made as a movie so I cant review it
so heres my idea of how it would be done now
coming soon; catcher in the rye, the movie!
starring jaden smith as holden caulfield.
and megan fox, as his girlfriend added to the film so hes not just talking to himself for 3 hours.
its set in modern times and has a rap soundtrack by jaden
admit it. you know that's what they'd do
except he';d probably have a queer friend too
so i'm watching this on fox 29 so its censored
it starts with some hag snoring
her kids are wanting her to bite it
I think they drugged her
so they then put a bag over her head
at grocery stores in da 90s, I got vegetable bags over the top of my head and inflated it with my nose sot would stand up
then flashback to them as kids with dad who isn't ready to go back to work
later they have dinner and mom(young hag ) dumps on him over his stink
so he goes but comes back nude
we don't see his man thing
later its the present kinda and teen igby (culkin) is causing cr-p at school and hag keeps smacking him
he goes to military school and smokes something
but then its lights out and he scrambles to get to bed
then hes caught by hazers and they cover him in a blanket and hit him with brooms
later hag is dating Malcom from jp 1 2 and 5 and he sez military school is good
and its revealed their dad is a schizo
huh, his bro was mr reese witherspoon and in I know what u did last summer 1
later igby swipes his moms credit card and types a letter saying he can use it
then runs off to a hotel but the milirtary school guy finds him
then hes in therapy talking about a cadet who jumped and splattered
he p-ssed the therapist off enout to smack him around
later hag is getting advice from a male nurse and wants her to cut down on pills
then igby goes to live with maclom as I think he got kicked out of military school
later hag wants igby to spend da summer with his bro
later at malcoms place. igby talks to a guy who I think is on drugs
Malcom comes in with a chick who I think hes b0ning
later hes at a party and chats with this other chick at the beach
oh malom is his godfather
at the part bro talks cr-p about igby but otherchick comes in and helps him out
and Malcom from jp is married to some bimbo but she don't know hes got a gf
and at the party his homies don't care
later igby is being sent to a plane but he tricks the driver and runs off to the malcoms gf place
oh and the wife was in the box, hulk and k pax
so gf don't want him there but bill iwrin (mr noodle from elmos world(not the one whos actor was on drugs and hand aids)) gets her to let him stay
hes a performance artist
and I think gf is b0ning him
and then she b0nes igby
igby needs cash so he goes bumming
then other chick comes by and recognizes him
they go to the park to smoke chronic
igby criticizes her preparing it and figures out shes vegetarian by how she makes chronic cigs
they chat and walk away w/o smoking chronic
they have icecream and chat about life
he keeps making excuses and smarta55 responces
he takes her to gfs place andwhen he goes in w/o her, Malcom is there w/o pants(but hes wearing undies so we don't see his man thing)\
he givs igby cash and leaves
gf gets p-sse for some reason and beats on igby
what a b--ch
otherchick comes in and they b0nre
after b0ning, they talk about life and cr-p
hag sent him to military school
flashback to him as a kid and dad takes a shower in his jammies
then freaks out and smashes the glass
by blames society for busting his dads brain
and he thinks it'll happen to him
later bro wakes him up in bed with otherchjick and sez hag is going to do something about ogbys time wasting
otherchick and bro share a car ride where he sez how igby got his name
he had a toy animal called digby but f'd his name
and blames it when he does something wrong
so to counter his lies, she called him igby
that's like a marvel comics thing
they go up to an apartment or w/e and sez dad's drawers in his desk had countless cigarets lines neatly
then bro seduces other chick
everyones b0ning everyone
this is how aids spreads
plus its in new York
according to law and order; someone gets raeped every week there
so gf gets dressed up to see Malcom and he leaves her
man we're like an hour in
this movie's fast paced
igby b--ches about the other chick cheeting him him with bro
even though he cheeted on gf with her
and shes sheeting on Malcom with him
this is like bad springer
but less cross dressers
igby and other chick take a bus to meet hag at a restaurant
he sez he wants his money from dads estate as he'd get it in 2 years
that's how the prodigal son happened
hag wants  him back in school and he don't consent
igby goes back to gfs place and hears an answering machine from bill Irwin saying they got bad drugs
and igby finds her OD'd
he gets bimbo and she gets malcims to save her
when igby and malcome go back to gf's place, malcome beats his a55
later bro comes by and its revealed he did it cuz of igby b0ning his gf
igby took a high school equilivlency test and sez he don't gotta go to school now
then gets bummed and repeats what his dad said in da shower after freakin out
he goes to see othercick and wants to go off with her
she sez she chooses bro cuz theyre the same age
so igby bashes his bro and goes mental
then bro comes out of her place
I kinda see how igby cares about her
good acting by culkin jr
he sees his bro as bad for her
then he goes to bill Irwin and sez he needs work
he becomes a drug dealer and mule
bro dropped off a ticket and said hags biting it
later he goes to see gf at the nuthouse or rehab or w/e and shes out of it
I think the drugs broke her brain
he then reunites with otherchivk and gets her forguiveness with a ice cream sundae
hes going up to ice da hag
after he goes he wont return to new Sodom (new York )
and he asks to b0ne her but she doesn't consent
he goes to hag and she sez dads in the nut house
Malcom from jp 1 2 and 5 stops by and leaves
they give her poison yogurt and as shes eating it, she reveals Malcom is his real dad
then we're back where da film started and she blax out
then cut to then taking off da bag
he gets on bed with her and hugs her
then starts beating on her
imagine if he started b0ning her while foaming at the mouth and screaming like a maniac and takin bites out of her
igby calls the family and sez hag went to h-ll
later he plans on going to soviet California and kinda reconciles with his bro
btw malcome and igby were both dad and son and b0ning the same chick
just like springer
we get a montage of him reuniting with dad and plane flying to soviet califortnai
the end
that wasn't so bad
it had emotion
it had goo speed
good pacing
didn't feel long
good acting
the family is f'd up though
nowadays every family in movires and tv is f;d up
why cant we have a good family like the cosby show or the 60s batman?
aw f
special thanks; roland Emmerich
his movies s-ck
might as well say; special thanks Michael bay
igby also keeps taking jabs at his bro for being responsible and trying to find work
learning economics
and being right wing
in real life; his bro is probably gonna do well
but this film was good
and I liked it kinda
its not feel good
but its well made
for igby goes down 2 I want I to be the 2020s and the brother is running for congress but its revealed his brother igby is doing dead midget p0rn0 and its gonna f up his chances with the voters. so he sends his goons to take him in and lock him up so he cant f up the election for him. its also a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis and super Nintendo where you play as the goons and fight across various p0rn0 filming locations to find which one igby is in and wail on various fetishes like fat chicks, amputees, midgets, dogs, shaved apes, the brain damaged ect.

No comments:

Post a Comment