Monday, July 9, 2018

Unbreakable Review

note I saw this 4. I also spell bad b4
this is by review on unbreakabnle from 00
its by m night shamalon and has Samuel l Jackson and bruse willis
it starts with info about comics which im sure is out of date today
then this black lady just pooped out a babybut he broke a buncha bones while in da womb
its by touchtone btw
the guys who did nightmare b4 xmas
and gargoyles
then willis is in a train as credits roll
I never saw how this started b4
he chats with a chick and sez he fears water
i kinda hate water too.
its a c-ck suck fluid.
every time i sh=t i wash my hands and they get water on em.
i go back to my laptop and the water on my hands f--ks the mouse touch pad.
it makes the arrow go all over and i gotta clean it all off to work it again.
plus theres always some a55hole turning on the sink or taps when i'm busy.
i'm playing mega man and the tap goes on and the noise f's me up.
i hate drinking water as it tastes like cr-p.
so if i just had meat or i'm outta pop i gotta have f--king water.
water can go to h-ll and f--k the frenchies there!
so he flirts with her and she sez shes married
then the train crashes
this kid watches it on tv while channel surfing and skipping power puff girls
but power puff girls in 00 was good
willis is ok and the other survivor was destroyed
and he has 0 damage
not even his outfit
so he goes home and his wife chats about how hes moving out
after a church service for the souls of the train victims, willis gets a note on his car
it asks how many days he's been sick
I should note theres long stretches w/o dialogue
good atmosphere
later he asks wife when he was last sick
and neither recall it
this is how horror movies start
later, in philedelphia 1974, this black guy is afraid of going outside
as school they call him mr glass, cuz he breaks like glass
that's pretty evil
mocking him over his disability
do they make fun of the blind too?
his mom gets him a gift on a bench across da street to get him outside
e goes out, opens it, and its a comic book
mom bought a lot and sez she gon give him 1 when he comes out
then he's grown up and played by Samuel l Jackson
he talks about how comics do stuff in art with physical views of heroes and villians
wtf Samuel has Edward scissorhands hair
a guy wants to buy this drawing samuel did for his 4 year old
Samuel gets triggered and goes on a tirade against him over comics being art
then willis and son come in
Samuel sent the car note
Samuel asks if he was ever sick or injured
son sez willis got in an accident and cant play football
Samuel sez comics are a link to history how pharaohs had wall paintings and tell stories
he has a genetic defect that makes his bokes brittle
is dat real?
he figures if hes naturally brittle, then is there someone naturally invincible?
someone put to defend the weak
me; like violence jack??
willis is freaked out by this and thinks its a scam
later at home willis reads newspaper clippings of his football days and past accident
then wife comes in and asks if he b0ned anyone
he sez no
she sez she wants to try being a fam again
later willis is at work as a baseball field guard and Samuel comes over to chat
wait, its football
willis notices a guy in a chamo jacket and thinks hes got a weapon
holy cr-p hes wearing a riki-oh poncho
when poncho notices willis he books it
Samuel grills wilis on how he knew poncho had a weapon and willis sez he pictured a silver gun with black grip
Samuel mentions comic heroes having x ray vision and willis has enuff
later Samuel follows poncho and falls down stairs and breaks
note; if he has a gun and is dangerous, he might ice him
plus his cr-ppy bones wouldn't hold up in a fight
as poncho books it from Samuel falling, Samuel notices the gun on his leg
just like willis said
later the id wants willis to play football against this super athlete and knows willis can beat him
sounds like in la blue girl how fubuki beat the pro b ball gym teacher
later kid is helping willis work out and willis b--ches about kid adding too much weight to the bench press
kid asks if willis can beat bruce lee
willis presses again but kid added more weight
he pressed 270lbs
that's more than my plus size gf who's like 220 a few years ago
they add more weight and willis can still lift
but on my 600lb life, those blobs can walk carrying an extra 600lbs of chub on em
later Samuel gets treated for his busted bones
why not debone him and give him new bones?
debone and rebone?
at rehab he asks questions to Willis's wife who works there
she sez she wouldn't have stayed with willis if he didn't get wounded and stopped football
like most women, she hates football over its violence
yeah and playing mortal kombat makes u eat people
later, at work, willis bumps into a woman and hears their thoughts
Samuel sez how he watched disasters w/o survivors and now willis survives w/o a scratch
yeah but his clothes weren't damaged
he probably rolled a 20 on his saving throw
later willis frisks a guy he suspects
nothing on him
then willis gets a walkie talkie message saying his kid got hurt
he goes to school and the lady working there remembers him from decades ago
she sez he nearly bit it in da pool
spent 5 mins at da bottom and they revived him
son got in a fight defending a girl being bullied
he thought he was invincible like willis by being his son
dad sez they both normal
later at home, kid pulls a gun on willis to prove he's invincible
rents tell him willis got hurt in a car accident and nearly bit it in da pool
kid thinks hes lying
so willis sez if kid fires, he'd go to new York
then orders him as his dad and gets firm
kid buckles
later willis sees Samuel and amuel sez willis used the accident as an excuse to quit football to be with da wife
good choice
you rather be body slammed by sweaty guys in tight pants?
or have the love of your life?
willis tells Samuel (who's named elija price like Vincent price) he got pneumonia as a kid and nearly bit it from da pool
later in a comic shop Samuel l Jackson is taking too long.
comic book guy; u better not be j-rkin off to the Japanese comics.
me; 1st; j-rkin off in public?! does this happen a lot?
2nd; I bet Samuel has an enormous man thing.
its like a tentacle! and he has total control over it!
it can wraps around guys and tie em up!
he feels bad after seeing samuels wheelchair
he wheels him out and Samuel keeps pulling the wheels to bump the stands
after a few times, comic book guy clls da cops
but samurl notices a comic and buys it
nowadays the shop would be hated by malcontent for alleged hate crimes 4 dat
later willis and wife have a new 1st date
but willis don't feel right
after da date babysitter for kid sez they got a call saying willis got the new York job
more like new Sodom
also on da answering machine Samuel calls
in 1 comic, the bad guys wanted to find every heroes weakness
so he figures willis reacts to water the same as humans
but every way else hes invincible
later willis goes out at night and breaks into this place in a raincoat
flashback to the accident how he was not hurt and pulled the door off the busted car to save wife
he then calls Samuel and sez he was neve injured
he then goes out in a station square and when people brush past him he sees their crimes
could this be reading their ki?
good use of color
the bright colored bad guys stand out against the gray stuff
1 guys a psycho killer
he follows him home and its actually the guy he iced's home
wtf 1 room looks like his kids room
he finds kids tired up in a closet
I assume the killers been b0ning them
man new York has a lot of horrid people in it
thieves, killers, degenerates
its like violence jack evil town
but less hermaphrodites
as willis looks out a window, killer sneak attacks him an he falls on a tarp on a pool and goes under
he gets saved by the kids he untied putting a pool cleaner or w/e into pull him out
then in slo mo, willis grabs killer from behind
it goes to normal speed and willis chokes him out
willis saves the 3rd girl there and returns home
he later caries wife up stairs and they comforts eachother
holy f
the kid is my age
and was in the last house on the left and the town that dreaded sundown remakes
breakfast the paper reports that willis is a hero and he tells his kid ; u were right
later he goes to a comic art show and talks to samuels mom
she sez the real villain fights the hero with his mind
later Samuel shakes willis hand and he sees Samuel was the one who caused the disasters that iced all those people
1 guy Samuel talked to said if a fire happened at a hotel, everyone would cook
but what if the hero was only weak to fire?
samuel talks about knowing ur place in ur world as willis is freaked out by Samuel killing so many
really good music too
Samuel sez the villain is the opposite of the hero
and he should have known after the kids called him… mr glass
holy cr-p
that gave me chills
really powerful
text sez willis lead the cops to Samuel who's now in the nut house
the end
that was good
like, really good
a realistic way of doing a super hero story
good mood, atmosphere, lighting, coloring, story and characters
and that twist
plus in the film 1 character mentions "this comic has a twist ending":
for unbreakable 2 I want bruce willis to be going around town taking out sicko's and degenerates and his son is now a teen but is somehow gaining powers. however, they are causing him to mutate and deform into some kind of abomination. so willis has to find mr glass and use his comic knowledge to save his son. but glass is sealed away in a high end prison and willis (who's now stronger than ever) has to bust through walls and doors and take out guards to get to his cell at the bottom of the asylum. also its an action game on sega genesis and super Nintendo where you play as willis and fight your way into the massive asylum to get to glass and take out armored guards and security robots and other mutants who were crooks experimented on by new York to advance science.

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