Wednesday, July 4, 2018

The Legend Of Boggy Creek Review

Note; bigfoot is real, but my speklling s-cked
the legend of boggy creek
this is my review of thr legend of bofgu creek from da 70z
its directed by the guy who did the town that dreaded sundown
and its based on actual events
wish the history channel would air it
nah, they just do 10 000 bc and deep inpact
so it starts with text saying its a true story
then we go through a swamp or w/e
I like da look of the film
it has a homey feel
low budget but with charm
then we hear a weird noise from some monster
is that real?
like the real monsters sound?
then this kid runs home across this rural area
he asks a geezer to come help his mom cuz thers something after them
but he don't take it srs
geezer sez this is da 3rd time she saw a big creature in her field
kid goes back home (he was going from home b4(I f'd up)) and hears some sound
good atmosphere
the sky across the area
the wood homes
its like the start of Halloween 04
then the narrator sez he was 7 when he 1st heard it
hes da kid
then credits
btw this is in proper fullscreen
no black bars eating the movie
good music btw
has a good feel to it
this area reminds me of my grandpas farm
then narrator sez its fouke Arkansas
its near texas and Louisiana
people like to fish and hunt
he describes the regular people in town
its a good place to live
until the sun goes down
but its not the town that dreaded sundown
then he tells of a guy who now believes in the creature as it came at him and he capped it
then about how something iced 2 of his 200lb hogs over the fence and tore em up
later the bodies were carried off w/o any sign
we get a description of the boggy creek to dramatic music
and its hard for most people to go in areas of it
and at night for years, this thing keeps coming out to town
its the fouke monster
at 1st it didn't hide from people
1 guy tells his story of seeing it
he nearly capped it but didn't as it might've been a man
then his relative tells of when he saw it
it usually travels da creeks
then these chicks are alone in a phoneless isolated home
after setting the mood with calm for a few mins, the thing comes by and one chick sees it
she blacks out and they stay at home as the thing does nothing all night
oh an it iced their cat w/o a mark
I think it used ki
later this ae 13 teen goes out to bag a deer
teens unsupervised with guns
those were the days
now some candya55 might go mental over it
but these teens turned out good
until he finds the monster
he fires on it and books it
if he didn't have that gun the thing would've b0ned him dead
when they checked, they found busted trees and blood but no creature
it got away
then da town goes on a monster hunt
1 guys horse freaks out when the things nearby and book it w/o him
and the peoples dogs fear the creature and refuse to track it
that proves something is out there
and its bad a55
dogs fight big black bears without issue
but this this freaks em out
after fruitless hunts, 1 group gets the thing to cream back to a wounded rabbit call
but goes back in da woods when they neared it
but they quit as they didn't wanna stay in da woods at night with it
btw I should mention this film was rated G
in da 70s
like planet of da apes 001
or the john wayne true grit
so people think the creature isn't evil but acts out when hunted
then goes away for 8 years
wtf we get a don bluth style song about it
its like the secret of nimh
its kinda heart felt
I like it
later people started going camping again in the woods
1 teen goes out camping
and he gets his own song
what is this? a rankin bass film?
I can see it now; sasquatch vs thunder cats!
so teen stops by a hermit's place in da woods
hermit limps as he blew off part of his foot b4
he tells of what he does in the woods
then denies there is the monster
I think hes hiding it
maybe him and the thing are homies
then the thing returns
and the news goes mental on it
and they blame every dead animal found on it
and 1 guy finds huge 3 toe footprints
1 interviewer sez sasquatch was an indian name of a tribe of big hairy shy people
like the tunit up north
but sasquatch have bigger feet and more toes
and it aint a gorilla or orangutan
maybe its inbred big foot
and the guy heard an animal noise he never heard b4
later some kids see the monster
they take mom to where it was
dumba55 kids
if its still there it might ice ya
oh f there it is!
run like h-ll!
the a guy sez he saw it cross a road as he drove
then it goes at this gun owners place when hes out
but his daughter and her homies aint!
he lives in a trailer and da girls hear it out there
they freak out and get their dads gun
after scrambling to get it loaded for a while, they freak out more and smashes cr-p for a while, then books it
narrator sez its acting out more cuz he wants a gf
so was he trying to b0ne the girts?
and his trailer was near da creek
and it skinned the trailer guys dog
dogs s-ck
later 2 married couples move in together to save cash
and da guys had to work late
days later it comes by and tries to open da door
what is this? Jurassic park 001?
they think its a person and leave the house to go to da landlord
he checks the place out and finds nothing
next day 2 relatives come by and fish
the kid finds a handprint in da mud
wait, its a 3 toed foot print
at the night, they hear the thing
it tries the door but they used a chair to stop it
then da husband return and the thing goes
they go bac in but the thing reaches in the window with its big arms
da men go out and open fire on it
I gets away and hey get the sheriff
he sez the tracks are panther tracks
and it was living under da home
sounds like hes hiding it
later 1 guys taking a dump and the thing tries getting him in da window
his a55 is empty now!
and he didn't wipe!!
they open fire on it again
then go out after it
if they didn't finish it, it's p-ssed now
it gets 1 guy and does something to him
shaky camera makes it hard to tell
he runs back and jumps through da door like looney toons
they go to da cops and they send guys
good 60s/50s music
the guy is in shock but gets better
and the 2 fams move out
then narrator comes back to his youth time home
its empty and he talks about how we should be cautious when in town and at night by the woods
and he wants to hear the scream again to remind him theres still mystery in the world
what about da ocean?
its unknown
we hear the scream again then credits to the don bluth song
the end
I like this
good reenactments
good music
good theme
good mood
good documentary
its got a homey feel
and I like cryptid movies and shows
this was a good one
for the legend of boggy creek 2 I want it to be about this chick who is captured by the monster and taken to its base deep in da woods. she's then b0ned a lot by it and gets pregnant with a fouke monster baby. realizing she's gonna be used to repopulate the race, she tries to escape while the thing grows in her fast and in a month she's fully pregnant and has to eat snakes and Chupacabra she finds out there to satisfy her growing hunger for her interspecies child. its also a 16 bit game on sega genesis and super Nintendo where you play as her and try to get through the swamp to freedom while caching creatures you find to keep your stomach full. oh and the monster dna in her is giving her powers.

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