Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Independence Day Review

note; im American so I don't use the extra u's in letters like those candy a55 Canadians
independence day
thius ius muy revieuw oun independeunce dauy from 96
its got will smith from frech prince of bel air and jeff goldbloom from Jurassic park 1 2 and 5
its directed by the guy who did the 98 Godzilla, the day after tomorrow and 10 000 bc
I should point oout this was on the discovery channel
and 20 years later they pooped out a sequel that rips off Robotech
kinda surprised harmony gold didn't sue
also the army almost helped with this movie
but they wanted the area 051 thing changed and left when it wasn't
sounds like proof its real
so after logo's and the title, it sez its july 02 and we get the moon where America claims to have landed and something goes by it to earth
its a big space ship and the way it flys over was done in many anime like Robotech and outlanders
then urth gets a radio signal from space
but its from da moon
its the moon kingdom from sailor moon!!
the ship is 550 kilometers (f--k the metric system) ad is 1/4th the size of the moon
sounds like dolza's battlefortress from Robotech
the prez is told and the news sez hes a candy a55
then goldbloom is playing chess I the park with his dad and we gets his backstory of his woman ditchin hm
goldbloom wins
he then bikes to work and harvy fiersteen tells him they got cr-p from space
also jeff gold bloom ( j b ) b--ches about recycling
then its soviet calefornia and this pilot crop duster flys like a maniac and dusts the wrong field
btw, pilot in a biplane??
totally not Robotech
then more space ships come down
they are 15 miles each
totally not like the mile long Zentraedi spaceships in Robotech
they spread around the world and the news reports it
man we're 20 mins in
that felt like nothing
pilot is made fun of for his screw up and some rednecks joke about his being abducted and if he got b0ned by em
then the space ships come by and are covered in clouds
what is this? galactus from the fantastic 4 sequel?
then several mins of the ships slowly coming into the city and people freakin out
around noon, will smith wakes up and is calm as he don't know what happened
j b realizes the signal they got is a countdown and they're gonna attack all at once
he calls the white hourse and the chick he called don't believe him
so he rides his bike through the chaos
also will smith is in the army and is called in
btw will smith has a kid who's gonna be the main guy in the 20 years later sequel
totally not like Robotech
j b goes to his dads and has em drive away as he don't have a license
also new York is looting and going mental
what a cesspool
they otta nuke it
later pilot was arrested for spreading leafelets against the aliens and on tv he yells about the space monsters experimenting on him
also he was in viet nam
but gets released as the gov has bigger issues
later smith is denied a promotion and is planning on marrying his baby mama gf
who is also a str-pper
was she doing it while regnant with smiths kid?
cuz lots of guys like pregnant chix
later jb and dad drive from new York to Washington in a few hours and jb calls her while tracking her position in the white housere
not sure they could do that in 96
jb and the chick and dad go to see da prez and its revealed jb fought him over chick b4 he was prez
hew tells prez the spacemen are using earths satellites against us to send signals
they get outta the white houise when the countdown sez 9:!!
also people are celebrating the space monsters coming and want them to take em up
I guess thy wanna be probed
well, it IS LA!!
then the ships open up slowly and blast lasers which beast the cities
totally nor like Robotech with the Zentraedi armada gang nuking earth all at once
havey fierstein bite it and is blown away
and we like several mins of things blowing slowly
the prez's plane flies away as the blast chases it
totally not like 2012 with the plane escaping the city going up
will smith's baby momma and kid and dog escaps the fireball by going in a closet as it fills the car tunnel
1st; the fire would go in the closet
2nd; the fire would use up all the oxygen so they'd bite it anyway
the next day the prez is bummed over all those people getting nuked
holy cr-p
this movie is super widescreen
like half the screen is black bars
oh and it took like an hour for the aliens to attack
oh and smiths fam comes out of the blown apart tunnel, yet somehow survived the tunnel blowing open, into this burned out wasteland
totally not like in Robotech after the earth got busted]
then the army jets attack the space guys with missiles but they have a force field
totally not like Robotech season 2 with the Robotech masters
then the aliens send their fighter ships out for combat
the fighters ave shields too
the humans are beat down
totally not like Robotech season 2
smith and his homie get away but the homie bites it
and the aliens attack the army base
smith is chased through a canyon and uses his fighter parachute to block the alien sight
then ejects and his jet blows and the alien goes down
smith goes hyper over his win and slugs out the alien
how did he know 1 punch would knock it out?
its brains might be in its feet for all we know
the prez's men want him to nuke the aliens
but j b sez it would cause nucular winter
jbs dad sez they knew cuz of reswell
prez sez that's fake but his main man sez its real
meanwhile smith's baby moma drives a truck through the ruins of L A and carries survivors
totally not like mad max, fist of the north star and violence jack
smith drags the alien in his parachute across the desert like in the erich von stroheim film greed from the 20s
and is met by a convoy of RV's
so da prez goes to area 051 and show him the space thing
they were rebuilding it and when the aliens came, its started working again
also they cant duplicate their power
totally not like protoculture from Robotech
then they see the space things they kept and the space things use esp to talk
meanwhile smoth guides the convoy to area 051 and gets in as he hAS THE captured monster
also at the rate the ships are going, in 36 hours, all cities will be nuked
smith finds out his baby moma town got nuked
at night the baby moma chats with the prez wife
then the 51 autopsys the alien
but it wakes up and rises as a tentacle monster and f's the operating room
totally not like Urotsukidoji
it tentacles the dr and uses him to talk for it
rez tries to reason with it but it don't wan peace
then sends a psychic message at prez and his men cap it
prez sez he saw its thoughts and they go around eating through planets and moving on
totally not like galactus
prez sez nuke em
snith jacks a chopper and flies off
they fire nucular missiles at the aliens but it does jack
totally not like war of the worlds from the 60s
then smith finds his gf somehow and they reunite
they get the 1st lady in but the drs cant stop her bleeding
we get a tacked on sad moment where prez sez shes gonna be ok but she don't buy it
they hug
that actually moved my heart
ore samma no kokoro wa resonate
then its july 04 and jb is drunk and having an episode about the environment
his dad mentions not catching a cold and that not only gives him an idea, but instantly sobers him up
goldbloom has a army guy try to cap a coke can on the 50s ship but the shields stop it
so e gives the ship a computer virus and it lets army giuy kap the koke kan
so now if they can fly to the mothership and upload a virus card then it will stop their shields
but no one knows how to fly the 50s alien craft
but cuz will smith saw 1 fly, he knows how it works
even though the one he fought was from half a century later
its like saying; if I can do fortnite I can do contra
prez fires the guy who was his number 2 even though I think hes in a union and they cant fire him w/o him b0ning a monkey or something
oh and the whole whorld is gonna unite and fight at the same time
totally not like robotevh after the SDF1 landed and the united earth gov formed
and cuz most of the forces were wiped out, they gotta get casual pilots with no exp flying fighter jets to join
including the crop duster
who wants payback for them tentacling him 10 years ago
and says so to the army after being asked of his experience
also jb is gonna go on the mission to send the virus
and smith marries his baby mama
prez gives a speech about how today the world fight for freedom and independence
and if they win, the 4th of july is the worlds independence day
but that's cultural appropriation
so after getting ready, smith and jb go up in the 50s craft
also the space daemons are on to em and are heading for the America base
so jb and smith go I and its a whole other world in there
sorta like the sdf 1 going into dolza's fortress to take it out in the final battle in Robotech
to prevent the space monsters from seeing em, jb uses a window cover
then uploads the virus
they fre a missile but the barrrier is still up
so prez (who's on this mission as he was in the gulf war) tries again and it works
so they all fire missiles and engage in an air battle
smith and jb cant escape the ship as they're ship is locked in
also the alien fighters attack da base
the aliens override the windows and jb and smith hide
also the fighters aint doing enuff damage to the ship above the base
and its about to fire on the base
and they're outta missiles
except crop duster
but it f's out and wont fire
so he goes kamikaze to save his fam and everyone on the base
while yelling; hello boys! i'm baaaaaaaack!!
that's pretty good actually
I almost cried
and his son is proud of him
now they know how to take em down
wait, why not eject before the impact?
also him sacrificing himself to stop the ship is like zor in Robotech season 2
so jb and smith have one last cigar smoke and upload something
the alien sees a laughing skull and bones on his screen like the skull squadron in Robotech and they fire a missile at em
they got 30 seconds to get out and smith flies out of the closing doors as jb sz "must go faster" like Jurassic park
then the whole 550 kilometer battle fortress gets nukes and there are no negative effects for anyone
and smith and jb get away somehow
totally not like Robotech with dolza's battlefortress getting nuked
at least there the sdf1 had shields
jb and smith get back everyones happy
and the burning remains of the nuked ship are like fireworks(more like shooting stars)
the end
overall, I liked this
its got some heart
its got good effects
its got good pacing but ran kinda long
it rips off Robotech quite a lot but I liked Robotech
yeah its really unrealistic and has lots of things that just don't make sense
but it doesn't make it less entertaining
its not meant to be realistic
its a big budget 90s ver of a 50s b movie
the official sequel made 2 decades later also ripped off Robotech and killed off will smith as he was too busy to be in it
but heres my idea that's totally not Robotech
for independence day 2 I want it to be years later and the aliens have returned in greater forces and taken over the planet. they have enslaved most of the humans to build their alien ships for more conquest. but the daughter of the president is now a tough bad a55 chick in a metal bikini and battle scars who leads a resistance against them using double agents and stolen tech to make battle suits and power armor. but some people have betrayed the human race and side with the aliens as they think humans have ruined the planet and the aliens were sent to punish them for generations of human crimes. and they gotta fight both alien modified humans and the aliens. also the son of the crop duster is a cyborg after getting parts blown off in battle and is totally determined to get back at the aliens for b0ning his dad and is a full on harda55 and high rank member of the resistance. its also a 16 bit run and gun game on sega genesis, super nintendo, Atari jaguar and turbografix 16 that's like contra or metal slug where you and up to 3 other homies team up and go on missions to take out alien bases and bonus rounds of trying to take out escaping traitors to the human race.

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