Thursday, November 29, 2018

Royal Wedding Review

note; I spelle non englishe
royal wedding
this is my review of royal wedding from 51
its got fred Astaire and jane powel from 7 brides for 7 brothers
directed by Stanley donen whjo also did singin in the rain and 7 brides 4 7 bros
I should point out I survived the 2000s or 2010s or w/e royal wedding with the queens grandson
everyone was j-rkin off about it like "ohhhh! da prince is getting marrryd!!"
I was awake when it happened but went to bed and avoided seeing it
England's been the bad guy for over 200 years
we otta nuke it or something
just power up ur ki and fire a ki blast
so after credits done like a wedding invitation we get a musical scene of fred as a king and jane I think as his maid
it looks like how Disney did stuff when they were good
this film is in bright technicolor and is fullscreen
he sings of love and they dance
its fun and cheerful and upbeat
I love this film
after the show, jane shows fred her bf and fred and her get changed while talking on a walkie talkie thing in their changerooms
the radio sez the royal wedding is near
fred talks to his assistant about not wanting to marry
janes bf is like 7 feet tall
Later at a bar freds homie tells him they got a show in England for em for the wedding
also bf and janes ex bf meet and fist fight
use ryu en bu!!
later they get on a boat to soviet England and jane sez bye to her bf(who's a confederate)
as they leave bf and ex bf fist fight again
the time of retribution! battle 2! decide the destiny! fight!
late jane meets a brit who recognizes her from her show
the brit is high status
he hits on her ashes one of the few britmen into chix
meanwhile, fred goes to the work out room and sets up a metronome and dances in tune to it
then he dances with a hat rack and I think this was edited into a vacuum in an add years later
look at him go
hes like a ninja
I wonder if he could breakdance
then he dances off the exercise equipment
then with a bowling pin
then the hat rack
I heard he took up skateboarding in his 70s\
later fred meets britler bf and later they go do a show in the boat
jane looks kinda like a younger ver of the mom from that 70s
most of the show is her singing like snow white
I hear she played snow white in a play in the 30s or w/e
the they dance
fred Astaire as like 50 when he made this
as the dance goes on the boat rocks in da waves an they dance with it
good skill
around 30 mins in with adds they make it to soviet England
quicker than Friday the 13th VIII went to soviet new York
later their manager or w/e's bro is there and they say they are twins
even though 1's a brit
jane books a date with brtler and fred and twin go out to shop
fred walks and smokes and follows a gurl
nowadays they'd make this look creepy
she loses him but it turns out they were just headed in the same direction as she is auditioning as a dancer in freds show
she's shocked to see fred as the guy there and they dance
also he offers her a date
meanwhile jane and britler are doing to britlers plantation or ewe and get the plates meant for his wedding
he gon give em as a wedding present as he don't think he'd marry
I assume he's got a weird fetish and it keeps even the brittish girls away
at night jane and fred go to bed but really both sneak out to go on dates
and both see eachother is car windows
on freds date fred gf sez she loved a 13 year old when she was 11 and wanted to dance as she was happy with it
and wanted to dance all over the walls
after da date they go to her dads bar and when fred reveals hes American dad goes mental
cuz in da war a yank didn't pay at his bar and he's butthurt over it since
frd pays as americans are the good guys and she gets cash from dad for the cab
they walk through the fog and its like that Hitchcock film the lodger
on the walk she reveals she has a fiancé in Illinois Chicago and hasn't seen him in years
well, it IS a yankee state
might as well be Canada
then manager and twin talk on the phone in split screen and its fun
the next day theres a parade in the streets below the window of the fred room
this is how ben hur started
britler and jane talk but the parade noise covers their talk to eachother
but we hear it
he tries to come out to her about him being gay for her
after that jane sings a snow white like song to fred piano playing to britler
later its b4 a show and fred gf sez she got a call from her fiancé
later at their hotel they find flowers from britler who sez in note he cant make the show
later its the show and fred and I think jane do a vaudeville thing about fred's character being a liar and she kept believing him
the plot is like springer
he sed he loves her. she thinks its real. he was lying
only less klansmen and crossdressers
he implies in clean subtle ways he was out b0ning when out of town
I like the colors in here
fred has blue pants like bill rizer in contra
she's in a red/yellow Ronald McDonald ketchup/mustard dress
they have a dance fight and she wails on him
fred has good balance to stand on 1 leg at an angle as she lines up his arm, leg and chin for that hit
after da show jane and britmo walk at night and she sings a snow white song about love
also fred goes to visit gf dad and gives him advice on meeting the royals
later he goes back to his hotel room and sings a love song about his gf
he's so happy he dances around the room
then dances up the walls like spiderman
then on the ceiling
they filmed this in a rotating room with a camera built into it
so the camera and room rotate together and it looks level as he dances on the walls
most of it is done in 1 take
it takes real talent to do this
imagine practicing this over and over in that spinning hypercube
they even have the picture of gf picked up and moved
I assume they used magnets
later twin comes in saying their show was a hit
fred asks twin to check in on gf's fiancé
twin splitscreen calls manager and tells to look  in on fiancé
they struggle to understand eachother with his britting and his new York talk
turns out the fuiqancde got married in America
then fred sings of a girl he met in Haiti in a show
then theres a long village dance and show that's pretty good
after da show he tells gf her fiancé married someone and shes happy as she and fred can be together
also I forgot to mention that fred helped get gfs rents back together
fred isn't sure he wants to marry her
later he talks with jane about if he should marry her
later its the day of the regent wedding her male wife
everyones singing about how good a day it is for a wedding
shouldn't it be raining and kids working in stinkhouses for grool saying "kun aive sum moar?!?
everyone watches the rpyals go by in a carriage and stand around as they get married
then fred and jane wanna marry
but not eachother as they aint into inbreeding yet
twin sez they can get r dun this afternoon if they try
jane sees britmo driving by and chases him saying she wants to get married
frec asks gf to marry him
then they marry offscreen, walk out da church and smooch
then it zooms out to show da city
the end
that was fun
nice, positive, hopeful, light
fred Astaire was great and always loveable
his costar is like 30 years younger than him
but my grandma was born in 28 and her youngest bro was born in 57
their mom was born in 05
so its possible
I liked this film and recommend it
despite my brit bashing it didn't focus on the deviant monarchy and told a good clean story
its fun and cheerful and has good heart
put it on the history channel
better than deep impact
for royal wedding 2 I want it to be the next day and the royals are outraged that nonroyals got married on their wedding day. they put a bounty on their heads and all the brits go after em. so fred and his sister gotta fight em off with dance moves like zack and kimberly in power rangers season 001. ts also a 2 player beat em up on sega genesis, super Nintendo, turbografix 16 and Atari jaguar where you play as fred or his sister and fight through brits until you get to da royals and beat their candy a55es.

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