Thursday, November 8, 2018

Emperor Review

note; I spell with an accent
this is my review on emperor from 2012
its got tommy lee jones as macarthur and matthew fox from party of 5 (whuich i never saw) as bonner fellers
its directed by peter webber who also did Hannibal rising (which I liked)
I hear this movie got cr-ppy reviews
and focused too much on a fictional romance instead of historical stuff
every movie needs a love angle
all cuz they think some people like it
by that logic; why not put fat chicks in every movie to get the guys into them to buy it?
or girls with big feet for hobbit fetish guys?
also most of the film being fiction and called a historical film was done with the man from button willow
I saw this b4 but now imma review it
so its just after the 1st ww2 and japan was nuked
it took the greatest weapon ever made up to that time to be used 2x to stop japan
party of 5 fox liked japan and has flasbacks in color to hanging out in a bamboo forest with this chick
what is this? riki-oh?
macarthur wonders if theres a trap at the meeting they are headed to
but fox sez to trust the emperor as he got the country to surrender w/o saying surrender
so macarthur sez to go out w/o weapons to show how bada55 they are
the deadliest weapon is the human body
btw most of this film has a bluish tint to make it look historical and less colorful
as fox and macarthur (who imma call lee as hes tommy lee jones and its easier to type) drive by, the soldiers turn from em
as they don't look at the emperor either
so they cant go to the imperial palace and its up to fox to find those responsible for da war
he orders the men to arrest all suspects at once so they cant tip the others off
fox also has a guy named takahashi look for his Japanese gf
I should note that in the real story he was happily married and only friends with her
1 suspect they find capped himself but they try to save him
so da gov wants to try the emperor as a criminal
and lee gives em 10 days find find out if hes responsible
lee wants to rebuild japan and don't want big gov f ing it up
but if the emperor goes, the commie will come in
and the reason the gov wants the emperor tied is cuz the majority of the country thinks its good
having more people on your side don't make you right
later as fox walks outside, he thinks about how America f'd up japans capital and its a f'd out mad max city with rotting burned bodies still smelling it up
then a flashback of being in university or college or w/e with his gf
she came to 1910s America as shes more outgoing
man we're like 20 mins in
that felt like nothing
later takahashi sez her place got blown by americans 3 months ago
spoiler for a true story that has no impact on this film; she lived til 1954 irl and stayed homies with him
so fox gets together a list of guys with the emperor when da war began
and figures they will help em if it will help the emperor
prime minister tojo is being kept alive after a suicide attempt long enough to be executed
in here tojo looks like the turtle guy from master of disguise
tojo gives em the name fumimaro konoe who was another prime minster
konoe sez tojo took over and the emperor didn't like war
fox talks of the bad stuff done in the emperors name
but konoe sez they took territory that the brits, Portuguese, Spanish and americans did 1st
good point
its like hating white people who did stuff 200 years ago that 2010s guys don't think is good, when Genghis Khan did worse centuries earlier, and is loved for
then fox goes to meet koichi kido and while waiting, has flashbacks to his Japanese gf in color
and how she returned to japan
but kido never showed and fox tells him when the emperor is hung, it'll be kido's fault
fox reports to lee to say he don't got kido and lee busts his a55
fox thinks about the web of power with the emperor and if the emperor could've prevented the war
then he goes out and thinks about remeeting his Japanese gf again who is now a school teacher and dont want him
he waits for her outside the school and the school might call da cops (grown man outside a school? sounds right)
so she goes out and walks with him in the middle of class
she sez she cant marry an American and returned to japan after something about her uncle
back in the present ( for them ) he has dinner and outside an army guy sez le wants to be the next president and is using his saving japan to do it
and wants to take credit for fox's work
and lee chose fox as he likes japan and hates commies
then he chats with takahashi over his gf
takahashi couldn't find her uncle and her school she taught at was wiped out by America
but he don't say what time it happened
if it was at a school day or during school hours its likely she bit it
but if not theres a greater chance
assuming she wasn't home sick or had a meeting elsewhere or it was a day off
he goes to where the city was and flashbacks again to walking with her and schoolboys throwing rocks at him(probably for being a gaijin)
but she tells em off
she treats his rock hits and sez the gov is teaching em to hate foreigners
like how university teaches kids to hate being white or Christian or straight or male
then they make out
but it cuts away b4 they b0ne
back in their present he finds a violence jack/fist of the north star ruined area and wants to know who survived
then he has another flashback where his gf sez her uncle is a general
so he and her go to meet him
he lives in a bamboo forest and no I never saw lost
uncle served 2 years in the Japanese embassy in Washington
he tells how japan is united in protoculture and values better than America and will beat America if they fight
back in their present tells lee he needs to get in the palace to interview Teizaburo Sekiya
fox and takahashi go to the area outside the palace and the guards are bad a55
they allow in fox only and no weapons
he meets Teizaburo Sekiya and its in color
Teizaburo Sekiya says a poem in Japanese and don't give him much info
later he gets beat up in the ruins of a city at night
takahashi helps him and as he cleans up he has yet another flashback of his gf
then one of talking with uncle about tradition and advancement of times and bushido
fox types he found no evidence to exonerate the emperor and blames him for da war
then kido shows up
meanwhile, a soldier gives lee info on how fox had a Japanese gf
kido tells fox about a council that met on august 09 as japan burned if they were to surrender
and the emperor wanted to surrender to the allies
but his council didn't want him to
he knew the forces would wanna keep fighting and made a recording to broadcast to the people
but a 1000 soldiers attacked da palace to get the recording
and would've iced the emperor
pretty good battle scenes
the soldiers all suicided and only kido knows of it as all records were wiped
later the recording was broadcast and japan surrendered
I never knew that
kids sez the emperor role is ceremonial and he stood up to the war guys
but hes not sure he can trust kido as it might be just for the emperor
also takahashi sez his wife bit it when America attacked
the another flashback to uncle getting fox out as the army started rounding up americans
Japanese gf runs after his call yelling but he don't hear
then how did he know she did that!?
this is his flashback!
his memories!
then fox meets uncle and its their present now and uncle regrets his war actions
and sez their devotion makes em able to be loyal or ruthless
btw I should mention we who know ww2 history know what happened with the charges against the emperor
so the whole "fox typing that "the emperor is guilty" thing" is like dragon ball super having goku bite it even though we know he's around at the end of Z and in GT
so then fox reads a note of Japanese gf's feelings like with flay telling kira how she felt in Gundam seed after getting nuked
apparently she bit it
yet in real life she lived for like another decade
what next?
j fk getting blown apart in ww2?!
so then he types that the people should choose their own gov
and the people want the emperor
and hes good for ending the war
and trying him for war crimes would f up japan
so keep the emperor and things are good
lee busts fox's a55 over that letter and how theres no evidence
but fox sez if they had 1 000 years they still wouldn't know
and America promised Hirohito he'd stat emperor if he surrendered
but lee wants to meet Hirohito and see wat kinda man he is
spoiler; to the Japanese; the emperor is a god
sorta like the pharaoh
the guy who serves Hirohito gives em a list of rule like not stepping on his shadow or shaking his hand
so just like the pharaoh
lee meets him and they take a picture
Hirohito says he doesn't want japan to suffer punishment and offers himself to be punished instead
but lee sez he needs Hirohito's help, not punishment
then we see the bamboo flashback again and later fox I think drives in a jeep through the ruins of japan
then we get historical photos of the people this film was about and what happened to em
but I cant read it as the movie is in widescreen and high def and I use a real tv instead of those cr-ppy ones
the end
that was pretty good
I learned a few new things
the made up parts weren't so bad
the acting was decent and it showed japan as not awful after ww2
i'm into history and felt this was a pretty well done film for the most part
although tommy lee jones has a fraction of the screen time matthew fox had but gets top billing
sorta like Robert de niro in the untouchables
or mark Hamill in star wars 7 over that new girl
plus other than some 40s racial ww2 issues and tommy lee jones swearing a bit, the movie was pretty clean
no graphic violence
no b0ning
no nude scenes
the swearing wasn't even that bad
put it on the history channel
better than boogie nights anyway
for emperor 2 i want for Bonner to be rebuilding japan and people start being found chopped up and eaten. turns out; the nukings weakened the dimensional boundaries and allowed yokai to enter our world more often. So Bonner gets some blessed holy weapons and goes out to fight them. the yokai are malcontent as japan surrendered and let in the gaijin. so its up to humans to stand together to defend their world. also its an up to 4 player beat em up on sega genesis, super nes, Atari jaguar and gba and you play as Bonner or 3 Japanese guys (one is a chick in a skimpy ninja outfit) and fight through various ruins of japan and into the yokai dimension to beat the yokai leader.

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